Please Don't Go
Eli's POV
"Clare please don't do this!" I shouted grabbing Clare's arm.
"Eli! Let go of me! I know you don't love me!"
"Clare, I-I I care about you too much to not have you in my life and I-"She cut me off.
Clare doesn't think that I Love her because…Well I haven't told her and she always sees me talking to this girl in my math class, Its only because she is my partner! But Clare won't believe it. I made a promise to myself and Julia that I would never love anyone else the way I loved her. When she died I promised myself I would never even love again. I'm scared to tell Clare I love her. I know that she wants to hear it but I can't…
"Eli, just stop. Were DONE!" Clare ran for the door but I caught her arm again.
"At least let me drive you home so I know your safe." I pleaded my eyes with sadness.
"Like you would care if I died anyways Eli! Fucking let go of my arm!" This wasn't good. I really screwed up this time. Clare cussing is never a good sign.
"Clare, PLEASE! If you died then I would-" She cut me off again.
"Whatever Eli I don't care anymore!" Clare stormed out the door and walked outside.
Oh No. NO. NO. NO!
This can't happen, Clare is the only person in the world that makes my life worth living! I can't lose her…But I just- I'm so scared to tell her I love her. I'm scared that if I do, if ever did lose her it would hurt worse. I just can't win…
I ran down the steps and out the door. Clare was about to turn the corner. I ran to her. When I eventually caught up with her I started to speak.
"Ok, Clare I don't care if you hate my guts and you want me to die but I am not letting you walk home alone." She ignored me I knew she would. She didn't even spare me a glance.
As we walked I stared at her. She was beautiful in the moonlight and looked like some sort of goddess. I was so lost in her beautiful eyes that I didn't realize we were at her house.
She already had been at the door. She slammed it in my face and ran up her stairs. I walked over to the sidewalk and was about to start to walk home but my feet wouldn't move. They forced me to turn around and stare at her house.
Tears started to drip down from my eyes and hit the cold concrete driveway. I just messed my life up. No I screwed my life up. Nope my life is over. Fucking over. Clare, the only person who made me feel like I was worth something is now so pissed at me that she can't even look at my face!
GOD! Why can't I just tell her I love her! She deserves to know how much I care about her. How much she means to me! How much I'm hurting because she isn't with me! But I'm too scared to tell her. How much more could I hurt? A LOT I guess. I'm just so scared that I won't be good enough for her and she will end up leaving me. She deserves someone better than me anyways but losing her is losing my life.
I need to let her know that I love her. I need to find the strength.
I love Clare Diane Edwards and I can't even tell her! God my life is a piece of Shit.
The next day…
I guess I have to let her move on…It wouldn't be right to hold her in this relationship forever. All I know is that I will always be there for her. I will always protect her. So anyone who hurts her WILL DIE. I can promise anyone who makes a scratch on that girl's heart they will be DEAD the next day.
I walk into school with dark circles under my eyes. I was crying so hard last night I couldn't sleep. Yes. ME! ELI GOLDSWORTHY WAS CRYING!
Fitz walked by me giving me a shove. I Immediately reacted and pushed him against a locker.
"FITZ! IM NOT IN THE MOOD! I LOST THE GIRL I LOVE SO LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" I shouted at him he looked shocked but I just kept walking. I walked to my locker and saw KC with Clare! KC! Her EX-BOYFRIEND! Oh my god…So she broke up with me and now is going back to KC! All he will do is break her heart again and then I will- Stop Eli you don't even know why they are talking. Calm Down.
Clare's POV
KC came up to me this morning in school. He said something about breaking up with Jenna. At first I was going to just say something like 'Oh cool bye KC' But he sounded sincere. Then I thought about Eli. I love him and I can't just instantly like KC again the day after I broke his heart! I mean I'm not one to rebound.
"So, Clare I was wondering do you want to go to the Dot with me later?" KC Questioned me. I did need a distraction right now but I don't know…
"Ya Sure KC!" Oh my god what did I just say? No…
"Ok, I'll meet you at your locker at the end of the day, bye Clare." Then KC was gone down the hall.
Oh what have I done…