Super dooper Tekken & Dragonball mega ultra Adventure
Disclaimer: Tekken an all it guys n gals are Namco's and Dragonball n all its guys are Toei's. Please don't sue me.
Trunks & Goten are gathered round the forbidden Ultimate dragonballs & are about to make a wish.
Trunks: Alright Goten, we got all the dragonballs. Lets make that wish.
Summons Eternal Dragon
Eternal Dragon: I am the Eternal Dragon. What is your.... ( looks down at the two).Oh. It's you saiya-
jins again. How come it's only you who ever makes wishes.*sigh* What d'ya want
now? Immortality? Strength? Invincible Punching bag? Nice lady saiya-jin eh
*wink wink/nudge nudge*
Goten: Yes please! With nice legs, a big tail and a big pair of br-- (trunks cups his mouth)MMMPHH!!
Trunks: Don't listen to him, heh heh, He's a little crazy. No. I wish that when we merged into Gotenks
that he wasn't so stooooooooopid.......an' that he was good lookin.
Eternal Dragon: Anything else?
Goten: MMPHH!(pulls hand away)..An' that he had a big massive tree tru--
Eternal Dragon: Your wish has been granted.
Goten: Hey! You didn't let me finish.
Eternal dragon: Yeah I did.
Goten: No!
Trunks: Yeah he did.
Eternal Dragon: BYEEEEEE!!!
Goten:*sniff, sulk*
Dragonballs light up, turn into stone, fly into the air & disperse.
Goten & trunks Stare at the sky for ages.
Goten: Yup.
Trunks: Yup.
Goten: Yup
Trunks: Goten, weren't those the forbidden ultimate dragonballs which, if not recovered and brought
back to this planet within a year, will cause it to explode?
Goten: Sure were.
Trunks: Well... Did you have any plans for them.
Goten: Plastic bags.
Trunks: Plastic bags!?
Goten: Yeah, I put 'em all round the sky to catch them!
Trunks: (turns to Goten with look of disbelief): !!!!!
Goten: (sees Trunks) What!?
Trunks: I know why Gotenks was stupid now. AND NOW YOU'VE DOOMED THE PLANET! And
I'll be in trouble, And our dads are going to say (Imitates Vegeta's voice); Now you're going to
go into space & find them. You've been slacking off on your training recently an bla-bla-bla-
bla-golden oppurtunity-bla-bla- Trunks don't be lazy, Trunks do this, Trunks do that,
Trunks get out of your mom's clothes!
Goten: Yup
Trunks: yup
Enter Gohan
Gohan: Yup
Goten: HA! You don't even know what we're talking about.
Gohan: (hangs head) *sigh*
Meanwhile. In the Namco Universe, The Kings of Iron Fists tag Tournament is drawing close & everyone is busy training. The Mishima's (Heihachi, Kazuya, Lee &Jin) are training in their dojo.
Heihachi is whooping both his sons & grandson. Their bruised & devastated bodies lie around Heihachi.
Heihachi: You've all been slacking on your training & have become weak. I ought to throw you all one
by one off a really high cliff & see if you survive. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Kazuya: Please no!
Lee: You like throwing people from great heights don't you?
Heihachi punches Lee in the face, stomps on Kazuya's back & dragon uppercuts Jin.
Heihachi: I'M INVINCIBLE!
A stone ball comes flying through the roof & hits Heihachi Right in the middle of his bald head in between the twin peaks & K.O.'s Him.
Jin quickly stands Up. Kazuya & Lee come to.
Jin: It was me. Yup all me not you, he was crippling you two and I just had to step in before you guys
ended up in wheel chairs ( sweeps ball behind feet)
Lee: What was that?
Jin: Nothing.
Five more balls break through the roof barely missing Jin
Wow what a co-incidence.
Kazuya : (examining dent in Heihachi's head)What a funny shaped dent. Exactly the same shape as
this stone ball.
Jin: Wow. What another funny co-incidence.
One more stone ball flies through the roof hitting Jin on the head.
Phew, my hair cushioned the impact. I have such strong hair.
(Jin walks round a corner. Soon, sobbing can be heard.)
Lee: What are they?
Kazuya: 7 stone balls.
Lee picks up 2 & puts them to his chest. Puts on a high pitched voice & a crappy Irish accent.
Lee: Oi! I'm Anna. I'm Irish..er,.. mate. Top o' the mornin to ya'. I love the I.R.A. & I hate me sister
Nina. An another thing laddy boy..
Kazuya: HAHAHA--that's not funny.
Lee: It's got stars on it. It must have magical powers.
Kazuya: You think? Lets find out & break it. (charges hand with ki)
Lee: Stop! I gotta better idea. Lets wait for one year then see if they all turn golden, then collect them
& see if a mystical dragon comes out to grant us a wish.
Kazuya: (stares) I'm breaking it.
(Jin walks back out of corner with bandages round his head)
Jin: They're nice balls. So smooth & big. Nice. Mmmmm. (starts rubbing them. Kazuya stares in disbelief)
You know they'd be better than those grampa Head trophies at the tournament. (Heihachi immediately
wakes up)
Heihachi: What, don't you like your grampa's head!?
Enter Jun
Jun: Hey it's dinner time.
Heihachi: Insolent grandson, I'll teach you to--DINNER. Wa-hey!
Jun: (picks up dragonball) What nice stone balls. Oh look, a star. It must posses powers & they'd be
much better than those head trophies.
Heihachi falls over & you see his feet, like what happens in anime when someone says something
that's really dumb.
*Everyone starts to leave*
Lee: He he he. Your sons gay!
Kazuya: Shut up Lee!
Lee: Gay gay gay!
Kazuya: I'm gonna beat you up soon.
Lee: Ain't I annoying?
Kazuya: JUN!!.......
Lee: No I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Jun: What?
Kazuya: LEE SAYS.......
Lee: Here money!
Hands over wad o' cash
Jun: (sternly) Lee says what?
Kazuya: (Smirks & pockets money) Lee says what's for dinner?
Goku Vegeta & all their sons are in a capsule headed for earth (Namco earth) Because their radar has located all the dragonballs there.
Trunks: All right then we're almost there. We'll be landing in an hour! Isn't it lucky for us that all the
dragonballs have landed on that same planet which we are currently headed for so we can
retrieve the dragon balls & that's why we're headed for that planet--
Vegeta slaps Trunks on the back of head
Trunks: Thanks dad.
Vegeta:(looks out window) What a crumby planet. I bet I could destroy it with one Final Flash Attack.
HAHAHAHA!
Goku: Seat belts everybody!
Spaceship lands on Namco earth
Goku: There might be people outside so don't do anything stupid to scare them. GOTEN NOOO!!
Goten has stuck his bare naked ass cheeks to the window & has the mega phone hooked to the outside of the ship.
Goten: I am Skidmark-Antony , rear admiral of the invasion troop of Juli-ass Caesar, the emperor of
Uranus. We have come to take over your world. HAHAHA--
Goku snatches mega phone.
Goku: You want to get us attacked idiot?
Goten: Meanie.(Pulls gi pants back up & looks out the window)ha ha, the people here are big ugly guys
with Lion heads & wrestling rings for houses, ha ha.
Gohan: (Looks out the window) Jaguar heads idiot.
Outside the ship note: King has Mexican accent
King: Skidmark-Antony? This has got to be a prank No?
Armor King: Ssshhh. *whispers* Someone's coming out. (door opens & smoke covers the entrance)
King: A.K.?
Armor King: What.
King: Why are we whispering?....& hiding behind this couch?
Smoke clears
Vegeta: Greetings peasants! I am Vegeta, Prince of all saiya-jin! Do as I say & you shall live! Disobey & I
will destroy you all with my super saiya-jin powers. Come out now Fools!
Goku/Gohan/Goten/Trunks:*sigh*
King: He seems nice enough. (Stands up). OLA ME AMIGOS!
Both Kings walk up to new guys.
Vegeta: Ola!?
Trunks: I'm Trunks.
Goten: I'm Goten
Gohan: I'm Gohan.
Goku: I'm Goku
King: Gopu? What's Gopu?
Armor King: You Idjeet! It's Poo smashed into Goo, Hence goo-poo.
Armor King & King laugh Hysterically.
King: No, no, we're just kidding. We should really be laughing at TRUNKS. HAHAHAHAHA! Look at me
I'm wearing you.
Trunks:*blushes*
Gohan: Well If you've quite finished patronizing us--
Armor King: Nope. We still have to say something about your hair. (Points to Vegeta)
Vegeta: Listen here beast (lifts King up by throat) We're looking for 7 special sphere's. Now I'll put you
down if your willing to give a bit of info. But if not...(charges free hand with ki)
King: Hey shorty... I ain't off the ground yet. You Know me being two meters high & all & you barley
reaching above 1.6 meters. But enough about me & my studly qualities. If your talking about 7 balls
with stars printed in them, you gotta enter the King of iron fists tag tournament to win them.
Armor King: But you ain't gonna win, me & King are because we're wrestlers & Tag-team is our territory.
(poses with king in idiotic 80's pro-wrestling stance)
Vegeta: Fools.
Armor King: Hey do you know something about them balls. They have stars so they gotta have powers.
You know about those powers don't ya .C'mon you can tell me about their powers.
In a Briefing room with Lee & all the other combatants except the Mishima clan.
Lee: O.K. people. Lets get underway. Who's not here?...... no one missing? O.K., first on the agenda I'll
need your rules & conditions agreement slips for you to participate & also your catch copies.
Nina: (from audience) Strip for all the ladies!!!
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*
Lee:(Blushing) can I have your slips now?
Everyone hands in slips & catch copies.
Lee: Um, guys.....Jackanese isn't an official nationality.
Jack 2: Do you have a problem with the Jackanese?
Lee: Uh... No, it's just that--
P-Jack: Oh I see your game. The MFE is racist. Double standard for the Jackanese is it.
Lee: It's not that--
Gun Jack: EQUAL RIGHTS FOR JACKANESE! EQUAL RIGHTS FOR JACKANESE! EQUA--
Lee: Never mind!! I'm sorry! Jesus try to do your job then suddenly your racist. Next on the agenda, I need
to know who the teams are, so pick your partners & if you're spare stand against the wall so we can all
point & jeer at your unpopularity &/or lack of fighting ability.
Nina: (from audience) Hey handsome, what about you & me become partners eh. *wink*
Lee: Sure. How about a grappling session in the dojo tonight.
Nina : *seductive look*
Lee: HA! I'm pulling yer leg, I already gotta a partner. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I don't like teaming with
girls, they can't fight.
Nina: (eyes go & mouth become really wobbly like in anime when they're about to cry) *runs out of room*
Everyone looks at Lee convictingly.
Anna: I hope you're happy!
Lee: *sigh*
20 minutes later everyone has a partner
Lee: Next on the agenda is the buffet table. Would you prefer burgers or sushi? If anyone--
(Saiya-jins walk in)
Goku: Sorry we're late. Can we still join the tournament.
Vegeta: No you fool. You have to be more demanding. Here watch. (clears throat) We're joining the
tournament. You insolent losers are privileged to be allowed to even compete with saiya-jin
greatness.
Lee: What the..? Who are you guys.
King: Hey it's our saiya-jin amigos.
Lee: You know em?
Armor King: Sure do. Let them join. It'll be great. They can make their hands glow.
Lee: We all can moron. Alright then. But there's 5 of you. Can't make teams of three you know.
Trunks: Goten & I will merge. We've been dying to see what the new Gotenks is like.
Vegeta: I call Kakarot!
Gohan: Damn!
Goten & Trunks perform fusion dance. Gotenks appears. Gotenks speaks in the dual voice of Trunks & Goten. New Gotenks is good looking like eternal dragon made him.
Anna: Hubba Hubba!
Gohan: Please. He was in diapers when you were in high school lady.
Gotenks: Don't mind him. He can't go Super saiya-jin 3 & is insanely jealous that he can't get babes like
you.
Gohan: Hello, I'm married! & I don't need to go Super Saiya-jin 3. I'm potentially the most powerful being
in the universe.
Lee: No one wants to know your life story so sit down. Now any questions.
Wang: Hey how can you have a tournament with 17 teams. You need 16 or some multiple of 4 so the
tournament boils down to a final & semi-final.
Lee: Hey shut it with the questions. This is fan fiction, it doesn't need to make sense! Any more questions?
Paul: Ooo! I gotta question. Hey Ling what happened to your bear. *evil smile. Cracks knuckles*
Xiayou: Panda by the way!!
Paul: Wutever.
Xiayou: Well, he didn't come because Kuma is a stalker--
Paul: Yeah sure. Don't need your life story.
Lee: (waving) Hey I'm the host! Now You can all stay in the mansion & train in the dojo but you gotta go
to the dinner party tonight so I can show off my new tux-- I mean because Heihachi will address all the
participants.
Bruce: Shouldn't you call the old man pops?
Lee: *one finger salute*
Tekken-Tag Partners Table
Ling Xiayou & Wang
Bruce & Lei
Heihachi & Kuma
Alex & Roger
Gohan & Gotenks
King & Armor King
Yoshimitsu & Kunimitsu
Lee & Kazuya
Ganryu & Gun Jack
Nina & Anna Williams
Hwaorang & Baek
Jin & Jun Kazama
Eddy & Bryan
Paul Phoenix & F. Law
Michelle & Julia Chang
Jack 2 & P Jack
Goku & Vegeta
Later that day. Everyone is messing around all over the Mishima estate.
Nina & Anna are sparring in underwear only. Paul, Law, Lei, Bruce, King, Hwoarang, Baek, Jin & Gotenks all watch drooling.
Lei: It's like a Kung Fu movie & Baywatch at the same time.
Hwoarang: (taking pictures) money, money, money!
Law: (with pop-corn) Hey shut up! I hate people who talk during the film.
Baek: Too bad for Ganryu missing this, Michelle & Julia don't spar in their underwear.
Paul: I don't think he cares.
Jin: (watch alarm goes) It's dinner party time everybody.
Lei: Sure, sure kid.
Anna: Oh it's time for the dinner party.
Nina: C'mon then. Bye perverts.
Anna pulls off Nina's bra in the distance
Hwoarang: NOOO! That was the money shot!
Law: C'mon lets get to the party.
At the party
Paul: Hey how did we get into our tuxedos by just walking here.
Lei: Who cares. I'm just glad I didn't have to do my own bow tie.
Baek: Or cufflinks. Gotta hate them cufflinks.
King: Well my Latino style tux is so much better.
Kazuya: (from behind) Hello!
Bruce/Baek/Paul/Law/Hwoarang/Jin/King: *scream like little school girls in high pitched voices*
Lee: Boo!!!
King: (sarcastically) eek.
Lee: What! It works for everyone else?
Kazuya: Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't--
Jun: Knock that out both of you.
Enter Heihachi:
Heihachi: Hey, good evening everyone. Nice to see you all here & I gotta tell you folks, organizing a
Fighting tournament these days is hard work. In fact you might say It was illegal, HA HA HA
HA....
Everyone: *silence*
Heihachi: Hey what is this a morgue?
Goku: (from audience) Get off the stage!
Heihachi: Well first of all I've heard that the tournament prize of 7 stone balls may have magical powers &
that we have some people among us who know of them so here to educate us on their special
powers, TRUNKS BRIEFS.
Spotlight on Trunks
Trunks: Me? Well...(fixes hair & walks up onto stage)
Heihachi: So tell us about these here stone balls that are apparently better than a solid gold trophy of my
head.
Trunks: *fidgets with fingers*
Yoshimitsu: (from audience) Your names are both items of Underwear!
Everyone: *laughs*
Trunks does burning attack onto Yoshi
Yoshimitsu: (burned & smoking) ouch. That hurt. *faint*
Trunks: Well you see in a year, these dragonballs will grant you wish but--
Everyone: *spits out their drink*
Heihachi: A wish you say?
Trunks: Yes, but--
Ganryu: I can wish for Michelle & Julia ,he he he....
Michelle: Hey Julia, we can wish for Ganryu to become gay or something.
Kazuya: I can wish for Jin not to be gay
Jin: Dad, I'm not gay. I buy playbo--
Jun: You buy what!?
Nina: I can wish for Lee. He he he......
Heihachi: I'll rule the world, HAHAHA!
Trunks: But you don't understand,...
Gohan: I don't think they care anymore.
Next day at tournament site. Everyone is standing out in the yard ready to fight.
Heihachi: Is everyone here?
Lee: According to my register, couple of missing people but mostly everyone present.
Goku: I'm hungry
Vegeta: C'mon Kakarot I gave you my breakfast already.
Heihachi: Shut it with your complaints weak fools.
Vegeta: I'll show you weak. I bet I can destroy you with one Final flash attack. HAHAHAHAHA!
Heihachi: Oh yeah. Just try it & I'll hypersextend your neck.
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*
Heihachi: What?
Kunimitsu: You said hypersextend.
Enter paul
Paul: Sorry I'm late everyone.
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*
Paul: what?
Eddy: You're zips down.
Paul: *blush* (turns round & zips up)
Enter Jin
Jin: Sorry I'm late everyone.
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*
Enter Jun
Jun: Jin, Hon! Your wearing non-matching gauntlets!
Jin: (Looks down & sure enough he's wearing a red left glove & a blue right glove)
Jun: Don't worry here's your other Blue one.
Jin: Mom! You know its red gloves with red flame gi.
Jun: Well it so happens I've brought your Blue flame gi, your deodorant, your towel, your energy drink &
your bandages.
Jin: (sarcastically) Oh gee! I hope my bottle is in there.
Anywho
Vegeta: We can defeat These peasants easily Kakarot.
Goku: Not me, I`m hungry. Besides I think the author has taken down our powers so that these guys stand a
chance.
Vegeta: I'll start off then.
Bruce gets into his Muay thai stance while Vegeta charges up. He charges towards Bruce & punches him. Bruce goes flying through a Brick wall.
Goku: Wow. That was easy.
Vegeta: Next!
Bruce. Yo! Mutha. I ain't done yet.
Vegeta: (thinking) No way. That was one of my best punches.
Bruce: Well It ain't so hard punk.
Vegeta: You idiot. That was supposed to be in my head.
Bruce: Well sorry--
Vegeta continues assault with flurry of kicks & punches. Bruce parries a kick & throws a knee into Vegeta's mid section. Bruce tags out & Lei takes advantage of the winded Vegeta with a Lying down Kangaroo kick. Vegeta regains senses in the air & avoids Lei's juggle.
Vegeta: *spits out blood*
Lei: *Crane stance*
Goku/Vegeta: * laugh hysterically, jeer & point*
Lei blushes & gets out of crane stance. Vegeta turns super saiya-jin & attacks Lei with a kick combo. Lei parries a kick & punches Vegeta in the stomach. Vegeta merely laughs & lifts Lei by the neck. While suspended in Mid air, Lei charges foot with ki & Kicks Vegeta right square in the......well, you know where. Needless to say Vegeta tags out.
Goku: (Turned around & adjusting crotch guard) Just a minute.
Goku stands there. Lei Goes on the offensive with jumping crescent kicks but is caught by Goku who slams him to the ground. Lei tags Bruce back in & trades punches with Goku. Bruce eventually gets the better of Goku & Grabs him & puts a series of Knees into his head & gut. The beaten & bruised Goku stands back up to the amazement of everyone. He goes Super Saiya-jin, dashes towards Bruce & puts a combo of Kicks & punches to him ending the sequence with an uppercut. Vegeta then finishes with a Vegeta hammer right into the ground. Bruce is K.O.'d.
Vegeta: Ha ha h ha. & that's all she wrote.
Lei: Ouch. Bet that hurt.
Goku: What happened to that replay sequence thingy?
Technician: Heihachi scrapped it from the budget.
Goku: Cheap-skate!
Anyhow, somewhere else
Gun Jack: Give it up Kazuya. You'll never beat me. Your too stupid & careless.
Kazuya: Never! I'll win.! I always win!
Gun Jack: Checkmate!
Kazuya: NNOOOOOOOOOOO!
P-Jack: Don't feel bad. He can calculate 2, 235, 856 outcomes at a time. And you can only
calculate.....snicker, snicker....TWO!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kazuya: REMATCH! NOW!
Starts setting up board again
Lee: Hey bro! We're up.
Kazuya: (ignoring) Good for her.
Lee: Its Nina & Anna. Remember the strategy.
Kazuya: Sure. Knock yourself out.
Lee: Your not listening to me are You.
Kazuya: That's great.
Lee: Well in that case, It was me who lost your marriage certificate, dent your car & I sold photos of you
training nude to some college girls for a box of illegal limited edition Menthol cigarettes.
Kazuya: Yup.
Lee: Your Porsche has been stolen!
Kazuya: Yeah, Yeah. Send `em a `thank you' note.
Lee: Your wife is in labour.
Kazuya: It wasn't me.
Lee: Can I have a raise?
Kazuya: NO! OUT OF THE QUESTION! You already get paid a lot! You greedy $^!*. Now look, you got
me swearing. C'mon lets take my anger out on those girls.
Somewhere else again.
Nina: Where are those two. Actually, just Lee.
Anna: Can't wait to get your hands on the lad?
Nina: Aye! Not to mention a few other body parts.
Lee: Sorry we're late.
Kazuya: I'm not. HAHAHAHA!
Nina: I'll go first.
Lee: I'll go last.
Nina: Fine! Anna you first.
Kazuya: GGGRRRR!!!
Anna: Oooh. I'm so scared of scary Kazuya making scary sounds to scare me.
Anna starts the match with a kick to the face. Kazuya remains motionless & merely jerks his head back. Anna Goes for another kick but this time to the chest. Kazuya Once again remains still.
Lee: Show off!
Nina: You might be in trouble there luv!
Kazuya: You hit like a girl.
Kazuya suddenly puts a gut punch to Anna's.........well gut off course. Anna buckles & Nina comes in her place. Kazuya once again stands rock solid. Nina learning from her sisters suffering & does a crab claw & links all the way to a rolling Achilles tendon lock. Kazuya is determined to not be out done by a female & does not scream like a schoolgirl in pain.
Determined to be a male chauvinistic pig, Kazuya fights on limping.
Nina easily dominates the Injured Mishima with a storm of palm strikes & kicks before tagging in Anna. But before Anna can lay a hit in, Lee taps Kazuya's limp body.
Lee: There I'm in now.
Anna: You can't do that!
Lee: I just did!
Kazuya: (barely able to talk) Let me back in you fool.
Lee: I would but you'd just pull off an unlikely yet clear victory that gets you all the credit & makes my
fighting skill seem futile.
Kazuya: Well, If you put it like that.
Lee is blind sided by Anna with 2 slaps & then 3 left kicks all of which Lee blocks. Unfortunately for him, he didn't anticipate the final roundhouse & is floored. Anna then lays a heel into Lee's groin. Nina, absolutely horrified, slaps Anna.
Nina: You stupid tart! What do you think you're doing?
Anna: I'm trying to win us wishes. You know so you can have him (points to Lee crumpled over holding
groin)
Lee: Mommy....
Anna: Well its no good if I can't bear his wee babies is it now?
Anna & Nina both get into a fight & refuse to work together therefore forfeiting the tournament. Now, somewhere else.
Lee: Yes! We won.
Kazuya: Don't get so `cocky'! Gettit, `cocky' HAHAHAHAHA!
Lee: Funny Biatch ain't ya!
Heihachi: Well boys there's still more tournament to go. We'll see if getting kicked in the nuts will carry you
all the way to the finals against me..........(MANIACAL LAUGHTER).
TO BE CONTINUED..........
End of part 1
Disclaimer: Tekken an all it guys n gals are Namco's and Dragonball n all its guys are Toei's. Please don't sue me.
Trunks & Goten are gathered round the forbidden Ultimate dragonballs & are about to make a wish.
Trunks: Alright Goten, we got all the dragonballs. Lets make that wish.
Summons Eternal Dragon
Eternal Dragon: I am the Eternal Dragon. What is your.... ( looks down at the two).Oh. It's you saiya-
jins again. How come it's only you who ever makes wishes.*sigh* What d'ya want
now? Immortality? Strength? Invincible Punching bag? Nice lady saiya-jin eh
*wink wink/nudge nudge*
Goten: Yes please! With nice legs, a big tail and a big pair of br-- (trunks cups his mouth)MMMPHH!!
Trunks: Don't listen to him, heh heh, He's a little crazy. No. I wish that when we merged into Gotenks
that he wasn't so stooooooooopid.......an' that he was good lookin.
Eternal Dragon: Anything else?
Goten: MMPHH!(pulls hand away)..An' that he had a big massive tree tru--
Eternal Dragon: Your wish has been granted.
Goten: Hey! You didn't let me finish.
Eternal dragon: Yeah I did.
Goten: No!
Trunks: Yeah he did.
Eternal Dragon: BYEEEEEE!!!
Goten:*sniff, sulk*
Dragonballs light up, turn into stone, fly into the air & disperse.
Goten & trunks Stare at the sky for ages.
Goten: Yup.
Trunks: Yup.
Goten: Yup
Trunks: Goten, weren't those the forbidden ultimate dragonballs which, if not recovered and brought
back to this planet within a year, will cause it to explode?
Goten: Sure were.
Trunks: Well... Did you have any plans for them.
Goten: Plastic bags.
Trunks: Plastic bags!?
Goten: Yeah, I put 'em all round the sky to catch them!
Trunks: (turns to Goten with look of disbelief): !!!!!
Goten: (sees Trunks) What!?
Trunks: I know why Gotenks was stupid now. AND NOW YOU'VE DOOMED THE PLANET! And
I'll be in trouble, And our dads are going to say (Imitates Vegeta's voice); Now you're going to
go into space & find them. You've been slacking off on your training recently an bla-bla-bla-
bla-golden oppurtunity-bla-bla- Trunks don't be lazy, Trunks do this, Trunks do that,
Trunks get out of your mom's clothes!
Goten: Yup
Trunks: yup
Enter Gohan
Gohan: Yup
Goten: HA! You don't even know what we're talking about.
Gohan: (hangs head) *sigh*
Meanwhile. In the Namco Universe, The Kings of Iron Fists tag Tournament is drawing close & everyone is busy training. The Mishima's (Heihachi, Kazuya, Lee &Jin) are training in their dojo.
Heihachi is whooping both his sons & grandson. Their bruised & devastated bodies lie around Heihachi.
Heihachi: You've all been slacking on your training & have become weak. I ought to throw you all one
by one off a really high cliff & see if you survive. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Kazuya: Please no!
Lee: You like throwing people from great heights don't you?
Heihachi punches Lee in the face, stomps on Kazuya's back & dragon uppercuts Jin.
Heihachi: I'M INVINCIBLE!
A stone ball comes flying through the roof & hits Heihachi Right in the middle of his bald head in between the twin peaks & K.O.'s Him.
Jin quickly stands Up. Kazuya & Lee come to.
Jin: It was me. Yup all me not you, he was crippling you two and I just had to step in before you guys
ended up in wheel chairs ( sweeps ball behind feet)
Lee: What was that?
Jin: Nothing.
Five more balls break through the roof barely missing Jin
Wow what a co-incidence.
Kazuya : (examining dent in Heihachi's head)What a funny shaped dent. Exactly the same shape as
this stone ball.
Jin: Wow. What another funny co-incidence.
One more stone ball flies through the roof hitting Jin on the head.
Phew, my hair cushioned the impact. I have such strong hair.
(Jin walks round a corner. Soon, sobbing can be heard.)
Lee: What are they?
Kazuya: 7 stone balls.
Lee picks up 2 & puts them to his chest. Puts on a high pitched voice & a crappy Irish accent.
Lee: Oi! I'm Anna. I'm Irish..er,.. mate. Top o' the mornin to ya'. I love the I.R.A. & I hate me sister
Nina. An another thing laddy boy..
Kazuya: HAHAHA--that's not funny.
Lee: It's got stars on it. It must have magical powers.
Kazuya: You think? Lets find out & break it. (charges hand with ki)
Lee: Stop! I gotta better idea. Lets wait for one year then see if they all turn golden, then collect them
& see if a mystical dragon comes out to grant us a wish.
Kazuya: (stares) I'm breaking it.
(Jin walks back out of corner with bandages round his head)
Jin: They're nice balls. So smooth & big. Nice. Mmmmm. (starts rubbing them. Kazuya stares in disbelief)
You know they'd be better than those grampa Head trophies at the tournament. (Heihachi immediately
wakes up)
Heihachi: What, don't you like your grampa's head!?
Enter Jun
Jun: Hey it's dinner time.
Heihachi: Insolent grandson, I'll teach you to--DINNER. Wa-hey!
Jun: (picks up dragonball) What nice stone balls. Oh look, a star. It must posses powers & they'd be
much better than those head trophies.
Heihachi falls over & you see his feet, like what happens in anime when someone says something
that's really dumb.
*Everyone starts to leave*
Lee: He he he. Your sons gay!
Kazuya: Shut up Lee!
Lee: Gay gay gay!
Kazuya: I'm gonna beat you up soon.
Lee: Ain't I annoying?
Kazuya: JUN!!.......
Lee: No I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Jun: What?
Kazuya: LEE SAYS.......
Lee: Here money!
Hands over wad o' cash
Jun: (sternly) Lee says what?
Kazuya: (Smirks & pockets money) Lee says what's for dinner?
Goku Vegeta & all their sons are in a capsule headed for earth (Namco earth) Because their radar has located all the dragonballs there.
Trunks: All right then we're almost there. We'll be landing in an hour! Isn't it lucky for us that all the
dragonballs have landed on that same planet which we are currently headed for so we can
retrieve the dragon balls & that's why we're headed for that planet--
Vegeta slaps Trunks on the back of head
Trunks: Thanks dad.
Vegeta:(looks out window) What a crumby planet. I bet I could destroy it with one Final Flash Attack.
HAHAHAHA!
Goku: Seat belts everybody!
Spaceship lands on Namco earth
Goku: There might be people outside so don't do anything stupid to scare them. GOTEN NOOO!!
Goten has stuck his bare naked ass cheeks to the window & has the mega phone hooked to the outside of the ship.
Goten: I am Skidmark-Antony , rear admiral of the invasion troop of Juli-ass Caesar, the emperor of
Uranus. We have come to take over your world. HAHAHA--
Goku snatches mega phone.
Goku: You want to get us attacked idiot?
Goten: Meanie.(Pulls gi pants back up & looks out the window)ha ha, the people here are big ugly guys
with Lion heads & wrestling rings for houses, ha ha.
Gohan: (Looks out the window) Jaguar heads idiot.
Outside the ship note: King has Mexican accent
King: Skidmark-Antony? This has got to be a prank No?
Armor King: Ssshhh. *whispers* Someone's coming out. (door opens & smoke covers the entrance)
King: A.K.?
Armor King: What.
King: Why are we whispering?....& hiding behind this couch?
Smoke clears
Vegeta: Greetings peasants! I am Vegeta, Prince of all saiya-jin! Do as I say & you shall live! Disobey & I
will destroy you all with my super saiya-jin powers. Come out now Fools!
Goku/Gohan/Goten/Trunks:*sigh*
King: He seems nice enough. (Stands up). OLA ME AMIGOS!
Both Kings walk up to new guys.
Vegeta: Ola!?
Trunks: I'm Trunks.
Goten: I'm Goten
Gohan: I'm Gohan.
Goku: I'm Goku
King: Gopu? What's Gopu?
Armor King: You Idjeet! It's Poo smashed into Goo, Hence goo-poo.
Armor King & King laugh Hysterically.
King: No, no, we're just kidding. We should really be laughing at TRUNKS. HAHAHAHAHA! Look at me
I'm wearing you.
Trunks:*blushes*
Gohan: Well If you've quite finished patronizing us--
Armor King: Nope. We still have to say something about your hair. (Points to Vegeta)
Vegeta: Listen here beast (lifts King up by throat) We're looking for 7 special sphere's. Now I'll put you
down if your willing to give a bit of info. But if not...(charges free hand with ki)
King: Hey shorty... I ain't off the ground yet. You Know me being two meters high & all & you barley
reaching above 1.6 meters. But enough about me & my studly qualities. If your talking about 7 balls
with stars printed in them, you gotta enter the King of iron fists tag tournament to win them.
Armor King: But you ain't gonna win, me & King are because we're wrestlers & Tag-team is our territory.
(poses with king in idiotic 80's pro-wrestling stance)
Vegeta: Fools.
Armor King: Hey do you know something about them balls. They have stars so they gotta have powers.
You know about those powers don't ya .C'mon you can tell me about their powers.
In a Briefing room with Lee & all the other combatants except the Mishima clan.
Lee: O.K. people. Lets get underway. Who's not here?...... no one missing? O.K., first on the agenda I'll
need your rules & conditions agreement slips for you to participate & also your catch copies.
Nina: (from audience) Strip for all the ladies!!!
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*
Lee:(Blushing) can I have your slips now?
Everyone hands in slips & catch copies.
Lee: Um, guys.....Jackanese isn't an official nationality.
Jack 2: Do you have a problem with the Jackanese?
Lee: Uh... No, it's just that--
P-Jack: Oh I see your game. The MFE is racist. Double standard for the Jackanese is it.
Lee: It's not that--
Gun Jack: EQUAL RIGHTS FOR JACKANESE! EQUAL RIGHTS FOR JACKANESE! EQUA--
Lee: Never mind!! I'm sorry! Jesus try to do your job then suddenly your racist. Next on the agenda, I need
to know who the teams are, so pick your partners & if you're spare stand against the wall so we can all
point & jeer at your unpopularity &/or lack of fighting ability.
Nina: (from audience) Hey handsome, what about you & me become partners eh. *wink*
Lee: Sure. How about a grappling session in the dojo tonight.
Nina : *seductive look*
Lee: HA! I'm pulling yer leg, I already gotta a partner. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I don't like teaming with
girls, they can't fight.
Nina: (eyes go & mouth become really wobbly like in anime when they're about to cry) *runs out of room*
Everyone looks at Lee convictingly.
Anna: I hope you're happy!
Lee: *sigh*
20 minutes later everyone has a partner
Lee: Next on the agenda is the buffet table. Would you prefer burgers or sushi? If anyone--
(Saiya-jins walk in)
Goku: Sorry we're late. Can we still join the tournament.
Vegeta: No you fool. You have to be more demanding. Here watch. (clears throat) We're joining the
tournament. You insolent losers are privileged to be allowed to even compete with saiya-jin
greatness.
Lee: What the..? Who are you guys.
King: Hey it's our saiya-jin amigos.
Lee: You know em?
Armor King: Sure do. Let them join. It'll be great. They can make their hands glow.
Lee: We all can moron. Alright then. But there's 5 of you. Can't make teams of three you know.
Trunks: Goten & I will merge. We've been dying to see what the new Gotenks is like.
Vegeta: I call Kakarot!
Gohan: Damn!
Goten & Trunks perform fusion dance. Gotenks appears. Gotenks speaks in the dual voice of Trunks & Goten. New Gotenks is good looking like eternal dragon made him.
Anna: Hubba Hubba!
Gohan: Please. He was in diapers when you were in high school lady.
Gotenks: Don't mind him. He can't go Super saiya-jin 3 & is insanely jealous that he can't get babes like
you.
Gohan: Hello, I'm married! & I don't need to go Super Saiya-jin 3. I'm potentially the most powerful being
in the universe.
Lee: No one wants to know your life story so sit down. Now any questions.
Wang: Hey how can you have a tournament with 17 teams. You need 16 or some multiple of 4 so the
tournament boils down to a final & semi-final.
Lee: Hey shut it with the questions. This is fan fiction, it doesn't need to make sense! Any more questions?
Paul: Ooo! I gotta question. Hey Ling what happened to your bear. *evil smile. Cracks knuckles*
Xiayou: Panda by the way!!
Paul: Wutever.
Xiayou: Well, he didn't come because Kuma is a stalker--
Paul: Yeah sure. Don't need your life story.
Lee: (waving) Hey I'm the host! Now You can all stay in the mansion & train in the dojo but you gotta go
to the dinner party tonight so I can show off my new tux-- I mean because Heihachi will address all the
participants.
Bruce: Shouldn't you call the old man pops?
Lee: *one finger salute*
Tekken-Tag Partners Table
Ling Xiayou & Wang
Bruce & Lei
Heihachi & Kuma
Alex & Roger
Gohan & Gotenks
King & Armor King
Yoshimitsu & Kunimitsu
Lee & Kazuya
Ganryu & Gun Jack
Nina & Anna Williams
Hwaorang & Baek
Jin & Jun Kazama
Eddy & Bryan
Paul Phoenix & F. Law
Michelle & Julia Chang
Jack 2 & P Jack
Goku & Vegeta
Later that day. Everyone is messing around all over the Mishima estate.
Nina & Anna are sparring in underwear only. Paul, Law, Lei, Bruce, King, Hwoarang, Baek, Jin & Gotenks all watch drooling.
Lei: It's like a Kung Fu movie & Baywatch at the same time.
Hwoarang: (taking pictures) money, money, money!
Law: (with pop-corn) Hey shut up! I hate people who talk during the film.
Baek: Too bad for Ganryu missing this, Michelle & Julia don't spar in their underwear.
Paul: I don't think he cares.
Jin: (watch alarm goes) It's dinner party time everybody.
Lei: Sure, sure kid.
Anna: Oh it's time for the dinner party.
Nina: C'mon then. Bye perverts.
Anna pulls off Nina's bra in the distance
Hwoarang: NOOO! That was the money shot!
Law: C'mon lets get to the party.
At the party
Paul: Hey how did we get into our tuxedos by just walking here.
Lei: Who cares. I'm just glad I didn't have to do my own bow tie.
Baek: Or cufflinks. Gotta hate them cufflinks.
King: Well my Latino style tux is so much better.
Kazuya: (from behind) Hello!
Bruce/Baek/Paul/Law/Hwoarang/Jin/King: *scream like little school girls in high pitched voices*
Lee: Boo!!!
King: (sarcastically) eek.
Lee: What! It works for everyone else?
Kazuya: Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't--
Jun: Knock that out both of you.
Enter Heihachi:
Heihachi: Hey, good evening everyone. Nice to see you all here & I gotta tell you folks, organizing a
Fighting tournament these days is hard work. In fact you might say It was illegal, HA HA HA
HA....
Everyone: *silence*
Heihachi: Hey what is this a morgue?
Goku: (from audience) Get off the stage!
Heihachi: Well first of all I've heard that the tournament prize of 7 stone balls may have magical powers &
that we have some people among us who know of them so here to educate us on their special
powers, TRUNKS BRIEFS.
Spotlight on Trunks
Trunks: Me? Well...(fixes hair & walks up onto stage)
Heihachi: So tell us about these here stone balls that are apparently better than a solid gold trophy of my
head.
Trunks: *fidgets with fingers*
Yoshimitsu: (from audience) Your names are both items of Underwear!
Everyone: *laughs*
Trunks does burning attack onto Yoshi
Yoshimitsu: (burned & smoking) ouch. That hurt. *faint*
Trunks: Well you see in a year, these dragonballs will grant you wish but--
Everyone: *spits out their drink*
Heihachi: A wish you say?
Trunks: Yes, but--
Ganryu: I can wish for Michelle & Julia ,he he he....
Michelle: Hey Julia, we can wish for Ganryu to become gay or something.
Kazuya: I can wish for Jin not to be gay
Jin: Dad, I'm not gay. I buy playbo--
Jun: You buy what!?
Nina: I can wish for Lee. He he he......
Heihachi: I'll rule the world, HAHAHA!
Trunks: But you don't understand,...
Gohan: I don't think they care anymore.
Next day at tournament site. Everyone is standing out in the yard ready to fight.
Heihachi: Is everyone here?
Lee: According to my register, couple of missing people but mostly everyone present.
Goku: I'm hungry
Vegeta: C'mon Kakarot I gave you my breakfast already.
Heihachi: Shut it with your complaints weak fools.
Vegeta: I'll show you weak. I bet I can destroy you with one Final flash attack. HAHAHAHAHA!
Heihachi: Oh yeah. Just try it & I'll hypersextend your neck.
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*
Heihachi: What?
Kunimitsu: You said hypersextend.
Enter paul
Paul: Sorry I'm late everyone.
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*
Paul: what?
Eddy: You're zips down.
Paul: *blush* (turns round & zips up)
Enter Jin
Jin: Sorry I'm late everyone.
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*
Enter Jun
Jun: Jin, Hon! Your wearing non-matching gauntlets!
Jin: (Looks down & sure enough he's wearing a red left glove & a blue right glove)
Jun: Don't worry here's your other Blue one.
Jin: Mom! You know its red gloves with red flame gi.
Jun: Well it so happens I've brought your Blue flame gi, your deodorant, your towel, your energy drink &
your bandages.
Jin: (sarcastically) Oh gee! I hope my bottle is in there.
Anywho
Vegeta: We can defeat These peasants easily Kakarot.
Goku: Not me, I`m hungry. Besides I think the author has taken down our powers so that these guys stand a
chance.
Vegeta: I'll start off then.
Bruce gets into his Muay thai stance while Vegeta charges up. He charges towards Bruce & punches him. Bruce goes flying through a Brick wall.
Goku: Wow. That was easy.
Vegeta: Next!
Bruce. Yo! Mutha. I ain't done yet.
Vegeta: (thinking) No way. That was one of my best punches.
Bruce: Well It ain't so hard punk.
Vegeta: You idiot. That was supposed to be in my head.
Bruce: Well sorry--
Vegeta continues assault with flurry of kicks & punches. Bruce parries a kick & throws a knee into Vegeta's mid section. Bruce tags out & Lei takes advantage of the winded Vegeta with a Lying down Kangaroo kick. Vegeta regains senses in the air & avoids Lei's juggle.
Vegeta: *spits out blood*
Lei: *Crane stance*
Goku/Vegeta: * laugh hysterically, jeer & point*
Lei blushes & gets out of crane stance. Vegeta turns super saiya-jin & attacks Lei with a kick combo. Lei parries a kick & punches Vegeta in the stomach. Vegeta merely laughs & lifts Lei by the neck. While suspended in Mid air, Lei charges foot with ki & Kicks Vegeta right square in the......well, you know where. Needless to say Vegeta tags out.
Goku: (Turned around & adjusting crotch guard) Just a minute.
Goku stands there. Lei Goes on the offensive with jumping crescent kicks but is caught by Goku who slams him to the ground. Lei tags Bruce back in & trades punches with Goku. Bruce eventually gets the better of Goku & Grabs him & puts a series of Knees into his head & gut. The beaten & bruised Goku stands back up to the amazement of everyone. He goes Super Saiya-jin, dashes towards Bruce & puts a combo of Kicks & punches to him ending the sequence with an uppercut. Vegeta then finishes with a Vegeta hammer right into the ground. Bruce is K.O.'d.
Vegeta: Ha ha h ha. & that's all she wrote.
Lei: Ouch. Bet that hurt.
Goku: What happened to that replay sequence thingy?
Technician: Heihachi scrapped it from the budget.
Goku: Cheap-skate!
Anyhow, somewhere else
Gun Jack: Give it up Kazuya. You'll never beat me. Your too stupid & careless.
Kazuya: Never! I'll win.! I always win!
Gun Jack: Checkmate!
Kazuya: NNOOOOOOOOOOO!
P-Jack: Don't feel bad. He can calculate 2, 235, 856 outcomes at a time. And you can only
calculate.....snicker, snicker....TWO!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kazuya: REMATCH! NOW!
Starts setting up board again
Lee: Hey bro! We're up.
Kazuya: (ignoring) Good for her.
Lee: Its Nina & Anna. Remember the strategy.
Kazuya: Sure. Knock yourself out.
Lee: Your not listening to me are You.
Kazuya: That's great.
Lee: Well in that case, It was me who lost your marriage certificate, dent your car & I sold photos of you
training nude to some college girls for a box of illegal limited edition Menthol cigarettes.
Kazuya: Yup.
Lee: Your Porsche has been stolen!
Kazuya: Yeah, Yeah. Send `em a `thank you' note.
Lee: Your wife is in labour.
Kazuya: It wasn't me.
Lee: Can I have a raise?
Kazuya: NO! OUT OF THE QUESTION! You already get paid a lot! You greedy $^!*. Now look, you got
me swearing. C'mon lets take my anger out on those girls.
Somewhere else again.
Nina: Where are those two. Actually, just Lee.
Anna: Can't wait to get your hands on the lad?
Nina: Aye! Not to mention a few other body parts.
Lee: Sorry we're late.
Kazuya: I'm not. HAHAHAHA!
Nina: I'll go first.
Lee: I'll go last.
Nina: Fine! Anna you first.
Kazuya: GGGRRRR!!!
Anna: Oooh. I'm so scared of scary Kazuya making scary sounds to scare me.
Anna starts the match with a kick to the face. Kazuya remains motionless & merely jerks his head back. Anna Goes for another kick but this time to the chest. Kazuya Once again remains still.
Lee: Show off!
Nina: You might be in trouble there luv!
Kazuya: You hit like a girl.
Kazuya suddenly puts a gut punch to Anna's.........well gut off course. Anna buckles & Nina comes in her place. Kazuya once again stands rock solid. Nina learning from her sisters suffering & does a crab claw & links all the way to a rolling Achilles tendon lock. Kazuya is determined to not be out done by a female & does not scream like a schoolgirl in pain.
Determined to be a male chauvinistic pig, Kazuya fights on limping.
Nina easily dominates the Injured Mishima with a storm of palm strikes & kicks before tagging in Anna. But before Anna can lay a hit in, Lee taps Kazuya's limp body.
Lee: There I'm in now.
Anna: You can't do that!
Lee: I just did!
Kazuya: (barely able to talk) Let me back in you fool.
Lee: I would but you'd just pull off an unlikely yet clear victory that gets you all the credit & makes my
fighting skill seem futile.
Kazuya: Well, If you put it like that.
Lee is blind sided by Anna with 2 slaps & then 3 left kicks all of which Lee blocks. Unfortunately for him, he didn't anticipate the final roundhouse & is floored. Anna then lays a heel into Lee's groin. Nina, absolutely horrified, slaps Anna.
Nina: You stupid tart! What do you think you're doing?
Anna: I'm trying to win us wishes. You know so you can have him (points to Lee crumpled over holding
groin)
Lee: Mommy....
Anna: Well its no good if I can't bear his wee babies is it now?
Anna & Nina both get into a fight & refuse to work together therefore forfeiting the tournament. Now, somewhere else.
Lee: Yes! We won.
Kazuya: Don't get so `cocky'! Gettit, `cocky' HAHAHAHAHA!
Lee: Funny Biatch ain't ya!
Heihachi: Well boys there's still more tournament to go. We'll see if getting kicked in the nuts will carry you
all the way to the finals against me..........(MANIACAL LAUGHTER).
TO BE CONTINUED..........
End of part 1