F.O.R.B.I.D.
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- None
Pairing:- Jean/James
Rating:- T
Achieve:- . /group/lewisffarchive/
Summary:- However much we both know it's wrong, however much we both sometimes wish we didn't need each other so much, however much we both know our love is forbidden on so many levels we will never be able to resist.
Author's Note:- Mnemonic to the word "forbidden" one letter at the beginning of each paragraph. I love these they can be so much fun to do hope you agree and reviews would be lovely!
From across the room I see you watching me and know what's going through your head. I know because it's exactly the same thing that's going through mine. A desire well hidden except from each other, a love that remains silent except behind closed doors and a belief that no risk is too high to be together.
Once, what now seems like a lifetime ago, I never believed this would happen. I never believed it could. I decided that you'd never know how I felt and you'd definitely never feel the same. I spent day after day just like this staring at you over an incident board or from the other side of a desk wishing the way you looked at me was more than I thought it was.
Right now I know if we could make this room disappear, if it could melt away and we'd find ourselves instead in the privacy of my home or yours we would. Moments like this are the hardest. Moments when work and duty and life in general have stopped us stealing any time together. It only serves to increase the longing, make the need more sharp, the looks more intense and the final expression of that frustration more explosive.
Before you I'd never believed that the sort of unbridled, uncontrollable desire you read about or see in the movies could ever actually be real or if it was ever be lasting. I had no idea how one single taste of you, one single touch would be all it would take to turn my need into an addiction. I'm addicted to the smell of your perfume, the feel of your skin, the gentle sway of your hips when you storm out of the room when we've crossed the lone and made you mad.
"I don't think we're getting anywhere and if this keeps up and everyone keeps refusing to talk we never will." Robbie's words have cut through the atmosphere like a knife through butter snapping the moment. Suddenly you're all business again. You are back to the ever controlled Chief Superintendent. You've always been better at that than me. You've always been able to box away how you feel when reality intrudes and I watch in awe as you do it again.
Desire is the life blood of what we have but you have always been able to control it, to be able to say "later" in the knowledge that when we can it will find it's expression. It's a skill I haven't learned yet. You are talking about T.O.D and suspect lists and I'm still watching your every move. Watching the way your hands flail about when you talk, hands that can play my body like a finely tuned instrument. The way you bite your lip while concentrating, lips that feel so soft, so wonderful against my own. The way you fold your arms in disgust pushing your breasts a little further up giving me a tantalizing glimpse, breasts that fit perfectly in my hand and which elicit the most hypnotising moans and whispers from you when I touch them.
"Do you need me to go down to the college and threaten them with a visit from the chief constable?" Now you're completely in control again. Damn you're amazing when the fire of irritation dances in eyes. As you turn and look pointedly at me I'm reminded that you know what that fire does to me and aren't afraid to exploit it. You may be back to business but you know I won't be just yet and you love it.
"Even if you did Ma'am I don't think they'd budge they're a lot of overstuffed traditionalists. Just the idea of being threatened by a woman would be enough to make them close ranks completely." Oh god there it is the "you've got to be bloody kidding me" eyebrow raise, the swish of your hair as you leave the room lingering at the door for a split second allowing me a glimpse of the perfect roundness of your ass and the curve of your hips before turning back and telling Robbie to get on with it and that the offer is there. A final jibe about how putting the wind up ancient chauvinists has always been one of your favourite pass times and you're gone. Even now I can't take my eyes off you until you're out of sight completely rounding the corner to your office with a inal glance that I know was to check I was watching.
No one and nothing I've ever experienced sets of such a wave of mixed emotion in me. As Robbie informs e we need to get back out there and we go back to normality the spell finally breaks. For now I'll go back to work in the knowledge that it won't be long before we can act on the need that just lit up this office like a distress flare. However much we both know it's wrong, however much we both sometimes wish we didn't need each other so much, however much we both know our love is forbidden on so many levels we will never be able to resist. How could we when to do so would be tantamount to stopping breathing? Without you, without this, I'd cease to be and forbidden or not I don't plan on giving up that easily.