Er so while waiting for my wonderful Katrina to READ MY FRICKEN STORY (if you're reading this READ THE FUCKING THING, Kat) I decided to watch Into The Woods.
That might not make any sense, but Into the Woods led to more Broadway and then Les Miserables. If you don't know what I'm talking about, WATCH LES MISERABLES. I'd say 25th Anniversary version, but the original is good too. You can watch the movie, but it's not that good. If you don't want to bother with that, then before you read this, listen to Eponine's solo, On My Own. I'd suggest Lea Salonga's version, but the movie version's actually not bad (she came from the stage haha that's probably why) although I wouldn't recommend the original london cast, I son't like her voice... Yeah I'm obsessed with Broadway.
So I was listening to On My Own, and I was like, Whoa, the like, totally fits Nico. I have to write a fic of it. So I did, and this is what it is. I suppose it could work with Reyna too, but she's not really all that heartbroken and I can't see her walking around... Actually I can maybe that would work too but I love Nico so much so here you go everyone.
:) (Oh yeah and this is set like between the end of TLO and when Nico stops going to camp, maybe even the two weeks before summer ends...)
And now I'm all alone again nowhere to turn, no one to go to
Without a home, without a friend, without a face to say hello to
But now the night is near
And I can make believe he's here
Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed,
And I can live inside my head
~ Eponine, Les Miserables (the musical)
Nico watched silently as the lights of the cabins turned off one by one. Curfew was in a few minutes and people were going to bed. Nico? Well, sleep wasn't much better than awake. If anything, it was worse. Nico found it harder to control his subconscious thoughts than his conscious ones. But one day he'll get it down, just like Clovis when he dreamt. One day his dreams won't always be nightmares.
But until then, Nico might as well get a breath of fresh air. The Hades cabin wasn't quite done yet, anyway, and the smell of the unfinished cabin was getting to his head. He slipped out quietly, keeping to the shadows and away from Hestia's fire. He liked her, and she was kind to him, but he didn't really think he was welcome there, not now. He wasn't really welcome anywhere, anytime. There wasn't anyone to turn to, either. And that was the way Nico liked it. Usually. Sometimes. Once every few days. In a blue moon. Or maybe, never, but Nico stuck with usually. It was easier to say he liked wandering about at night, alone.
The last light turned off. Nico let a small smile slip onto his face, and headed to the beach. He always went there when he wandered around at night, when everybody else was sleeping. It was there that the sea's salty spray allowed him to pretend, to imagine. In his head, with the aid of the smell of the sea, Nico could make-believe he was there.
It was nighttime, and curfew, but they didn't care. The cleaning harpies wouldn't attack them, anyway. They'd just saved Olympus, after all. They could do whatever they wanted to right now. And tonight, they were walking along the beach. Nico closed his eyes, and could almost physically feel the arm around his shoulders, the light brush of lips against his temple.
Nico told him of his day. It was pretty boring, but he never complained, and they talked for quite a while, walking around aimlessly, but he never felt scared of getting lost, because Percy was there and he could find him and that was all that mattered. Finally, they settled on one of the sand dunes far away from the cabins where no one could see him—them. Well, him. He was alone, really, but Nico didn't want to think about that, not while it was night and the trees looked full of starlight and the moon a hazy, misty light in the ocean, while he could close his eyes and feel Percy's arms around him. When he could make-believe he was there.
"I love you." Nico said, leaning against a tree, feeling Percy's arm still around his shoulders, head lightly resting near his. Percy said he loves him back, and Nico smiled, eyes still closed, and just imagined what it would be like if they could do this during the day, just the two of them forever and forever.
Leaning against the tree, Nico felt sleep press against his heavy eyelids, and in the protective circle of Percy's arms, and the warmth of his chest, Nico let sleep overtake him.
When he opened his eyes next, the sky was lighter, and the moon was gone, along with the stars. The trees were bare and the sea just the sea, and Percy was gone. He was always gone in the morning, gone with the night. Not that he had ever truly been there.
The Apollo children are waking up, coming out with the rising sun. Nico didn't seem to recognise any of them, and none of them saw Nico. Not that they would have done anything about it if they had. They were strangers to each other, Nico and the campers.
Nico wished briefly that it was night again, where he could pretend he was in a magical, perfect world and they were together, and he could love him. But it was day now, and Nico knew that the night was always just in his mind, that he was talking to himself, and not to him. No matter what he said at night, there was no way for them to be together. Besides, he was with her. And the night was over, and the pretending was over as well.
Nico wondered briefly if Percy would even notice if he'd gone, if he'd miss him, even remember him. Nico sighed and wandered into his cabin. He was kidding himself again, playing a game. He was a child during the night, but during the day he was himself again, mature and understanding of the world in a way no one else knew, but also learning, everyday. Learning that the world will go on turning, even without him. Learning that all his life, he had only ever been pretending, especially in the Lotus Casino. Learning that the world was full of happiness that he will never know, with or without Percy.
Learning that he could never tell anyone that he loved him. Learning that he could only love him in the dead of night, when the trees were full of starlight and everyone else was in bed and he could live in his head.
When he was alone, all on his own.
Super short, but I hope I teared a few of you up! Eponine is super annoying in the musical but this wasn't meant to be that way.
Oh yeah and I'm thinking of adding a Solangelo oneshot thingy as a second chapter, what do you think of that? I haven't gotten to writing it yet but I might...