A/N- okay so this is going to be a long chapter full of random hilarious chats between the Thunderclan cats during Sharing Tongues time just so you know. Gets funnier later on. Enjoy!
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Sharing TonguesSandstorm walks up to Firestar, her mate.
Firestar- Ew, get away from me, you shed too much!
Sandstorm- Firestar! Enough of this nonsense! I really don't shed that much, you just make a big deal out of it!
Firestar- Whatever you say, my naked mole rat.
Sandstorm- Why do I even bother?
Firestar- No, I'm serious though; you need to like tape your fur on or something. In fact, I believe some of the loose hairs are forming a ball and its HEADING STRAIGHT AT ME! AHHHHHHHH!!!
Sandstorm- 0_0
Firestar runs away
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Icekit- where's my nail polish?
Foxkit- Up your ass!
Daisy- Foxkit! Where did you learn that word?
Foxkit- In Firestar's ass.
Daisy- Okay. That's fine.
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(Cloudtail Is gangsta)
Brightheart- Now, Cloudtail, you PROMISE you will not do anything to stupid!
Cloudtail- Don't worry, baby, I gots it all under control.
Brightheart- please don't say it…
Cloudtail- I GOT THIS! (A/N- If you have ever seen George Lopez, then you would have seen or heard him say this)
Brightheart- Uh-huh
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Firestar- Everybody run! Evil Sandstorm hairballs are flying everywhere!
Cats- Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!
Graystripe- Opps, just slobbered.
Cats- EWWWW!
Graystripe- Yeah? Well go suck it!
Icekit- I wanna suck it!
Brightheart- Sweetheart, you have no idea what that means! It is very inappropriate! Tehe, but the males like it…
Cloudtail- Yeah, babe. In fact…*both walk away to PRIVATE den. *
Daisy- Opps, just took a piss.
Firestar- Oh no!
Sandstorm- Oh No!
Brambleclaw- Oh No!
Kool-aid man bursts into the camp- OH YEAH!
Mousefur- I hope you know you have to clean that up, right?
Kool-aid man- Oh, uh, I kinda hoped you would do that part. Tehe.
Mousefur- Why, you little-
*Chases out of camp into woods *
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Firestar is in the clearing, dancing randomly to the song "Kiss me thru tha phone" by Soulja boy, trying to prove to Cloudtail that he is too gangsta.
Cloudtail- I iz telling ya man, ya cant jus be gangsta like that, ya gotta hav tha skillz.
Firestar- But, uh, homie, I haz tha skillz.
Cloudtail- *shakes his head * No, ya don't, its jus sad. *Walks away
Firestar- Sobness.
Brambleclaw walks up to Firestar.
Brambleclaw- Hey don't be sad, maybe you just weren't meant to be, uh, gangsta.
Firestar- Yeah, but being Thunderclan's leader is too hard, serious, and boring.
Brambleclaw- I could take over.
Firestar- No, you're too fat.
Tears start to form in the deputy's eyes.
Brambleclaw- I-I'm fat?
Firestar- You now what, I've been meaning to say this for a LONG time, but you are so freakin obese it's not even funny anymore. Okay, well yes, it is funny. Especially when you hunt, 'cuz even the prey laughs their ass off.
Brambleclaw- :0
Firestar- YES! It feels so good getting that off my chest! Oh, and its called WEIGHT WACHTERS!
Brambleclaw- *runs away crying
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Leafpool waits outside of Medicine den. Jayfeather joins her.
Jayfeather- What are you doing?
Leafpool- Well, I got this dream last night that a special cat was going to send a prophecy to me, very soon. Will you wait with me?
Jayfeather- Yuppers.
~Waits for an hour~
Leafpool- Any day now.
~In Starclan~
Pinestar- My God, Redtail, for a deputy I thought you were smarter than this.
Redtail- I am a very rare retarded breed, what do you expect? Now how do I send a prophecy again?
Pinestar- Grab a star, whisper the prophecy in it, then toss it lightly towards the cat you want to receive it. If you toss it hard, the prophecy will get screwed up.
Redtail- Ok, got it.
Whispers- An old enemy is out to kill….
Tosses it a little bit too hard at Leafpool.
~Thunderclan Camp~
Something comes flying out of the sky and hits Leafpool in the eye.
Leafpool- Ouch! Oh, what is this, a star? It's the prophecy! Here's what it says:
Jayfeather leans in closer.
Leafpool- Hey, don't get that close, it's awkward. Anyway it says: KILL FIRESTAR!
Jayfeather- Oh snap!
~ Starclan~
Pinestar- You did it wrong! Here just let me do it.
Whispers: An old enemy is out to kill.
Tosses very lightly to Leafpool
But instead the wind blows it to Windclan, where there Crowfeather gets it.
Crowfeather- Holy shit! Sweet lordy with da cornbread!
Kills his mate. Sobness.
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Lionblaze is out hunting ALONE. His stomach starts to growl.
" Hey, man, I need some food in here! I'm getting empty!" His stomach told him.
" Shut up! I'm trying to hunt but if you don't put a lid on it I won't be able to catch anything!"
Stomach- Dealz wit it bitch.
Spottedleaf- Stalking
Lionblaze- What? Is that a cockatoo?
Spottedleaf- Man this cat is dumb!
Lionblaze- Whose there? Speak up!
Spottedleaf- * Snickers
All of a sudden she jumps on top of Lionblaze
Lionblaze- OMC!!! I feel so validated!
Spottedleaf- Sorry, that did feel kinda gay. My name is Spottedleaf, and I'm a Starclan cat! Ask your father!
Lionblaze- Who the hell cares about my dumbass father?
Spottedleaf- I DO! HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY LOVE FOR HIM! HOW DARE YOI! I OUGHT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD.
God- Sorry, its that time of the month. Also, hormones.
Lionblaze- Right.
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~Thunderclan Camp~
All is peaceful for now. Until…
Tigerclaw (dead) bursts into the camp with a chainsaw! And the chainsaw makes a RRRRRRRRR kinda noise! It's turned on!
Tigerclaw- Tehe! I'm back! What, never got the prophecy?
Leafpool- WTF?
Tigerclaw- Well, what do you have to say to this Firestar? TEHE!
Firestar- Well, I have a major problem to when you say "Tehe".
Tigerclaw- Wait, what? Of all the things, its that?
Firestar- Yes, don't even get me started. Just do what you need to.
Tigerclaw-Well ,you see that, that, just, well, it kinda messed with my mood, you know?
Firestar- oh yes, I understand-
Tigerclaw- well, no you don't, because-
Firestar- Trust me, I go through the same thing everyday-
Tigerclaw- no cuz-
Firestar- same old, same old, you know?
Tigerclaw- What the hell are we talking about?
Firestar- No idea.
Tigerclaw- Awkward.
Firestar- You know, we should have our own talk show.
Tigerclaw- That's not a bad idea. I can se it now "Tigerclaw and Firestar"
Firestar- Or, or "Firestar and Tigerclaw"
Tigerclaw- hey, man, don't question me.
Firestar- I wasn't questioning you, truth be told, I find you quite attractive.
Tigerclaw- yeah, well, wait, what?
Firestar- There, I said it.
Tigerclaw- Awkward. Oh No
Firestar- Oh no!
Sandstorm- Oh no!
Berrynose- Oh no!
At that moment Kool-aid man followed by Mousefur come into the camp.
Kool-aid man- OH YEAH!
Daisy- Quick question! Why did everyone start saying "Oh no" at the exact same time?
Mousefur- Because our creator Horseangel101 made us do it.
They turn and stare at me. How awkward.
Kool-aid man- fine. I'll clean it up.
Mousefur- thnx.
Graystripe- Imma virgin!
Firestar- Hey, Horseangel101? Can we PLEASE end it right here? Cuz Graystripe is gonna do a very embarrassing story on his life, and you know how that goes-
Horseangel101- NO! LET THE STORY CONTINUE!
Firestar- Damn.
Millie- But what about that time we….you know? Had personal moments? Hintity hint hint.
Graystripe- Oh, that wasn't-
Horseangel101- Okay, maybe it is time to stop! Anybody have anything to say, SHUTUP GRAYSTIPE!
Firestar- I have a confession:
Tigerclaw- Go ahead, Firestar, tell them our news. Come out of the closet. *gets teary eyed
Horseangel101- oh god.
Firestar- Tigerclaw and I are getting married!
GASP!!!!!
FIN