The Things That Hurt The Worst
"I'm gonna marry you, Carlos." That was what Matthew used to say. He still says it too.
"Promise it on a shooting star?" Carlos would ask.
"Promise it on a shooting star." Matthew would say, and mean it too.
"Pinky promise?" Carlos would make sure.
"Pinky promise." And they would wrap their little fingers around each other's and mean it.
And Matthew would tell his dad; "Dad, I'm gonna marry Carlos." And his dad would turn around and give him a big smile, looking up from whatever he was cooking. "You do that." He said.
And Matthew would tell his Papa; "Papa, I'm gonna marry Carlos." And his Papa would sip his tea and laugh, a book in hand. "Go ahead." He would say.
And Matthew would tell his bother too, even though he knew he didn't want to hear it. "Alfred, I'm gonna marry Carlos." And his brother would pout and tell him; "You know I don't like him."
And he would tell his stuffed bear also, even though he knew he couldn't hear him; "Kumajirou, I'm gonna marry Carlos." And Kumajirou would sit there, looking just the same as he ever did.
So many years passed since then, and Carlos's wedding came around, but it wasn't with Matthew. And he hated that it wasn't; but it was an Argentinian woman whom his father and her father had set him up with and in his family it wasn't good to disobey your father's wishes. Not good at all.
And Carlos hated that he himself was going along with it, and Matthew hated that he was going along with it, and even the girl he was to marry hated that he was going along with it. But they all knew that one unspoken rule set by Carlos's family, which was 'don't disobey your father'. Even if it means losing what you love the most, he couldn't do anything about it.
And that was what hurt the worst.