Once again, I'm laying in my bed, late at night. The sky is so beautiful, full of stars, and I remember how you love the stars so much; are you near the stars, Catnip? Are you alright in the heaven? You do know I don't believe in God, but I hope you're with Him, and I hope he'll treat you well. And I also don't believe in angels, but I hope they're quiet listening you sing.
Katniss, Catnip, where are you? I need you here. They murdered you. They freaking murdered you and I won't forgive them ever. I will fight, I will kill every single one of them, I will make them pay, I will make they beg for your forgiveness. I need you. I really do. Why did you have to go away? I won't hear your voice anymore, I won't hear your laugh, I won't touch you, I won't feel the warm of your skin ever again. I never did and I never will touch your lips. It's not fair. It can't be. They took you away and they murdered you.
That boy, Peeta, came home. I haven't seen him. I actually haven't got out of bed for two days, but know I have to. Your family needs me, Catnip. Your mom and Prim. I'll protect them. I'll protect them no matter what, I'll never let anything or anyone do any harm on both of them.
I get out of bed, and go to our small living room, and my mom looks at me, quite afraid.
"Gale…"
"I'm ok, mum." I mumbled. But I'm not. I'm not ok. I'll never be. Because you're gone, Catnip, and the world isn't right when you're not alive. I walk outside, and I follow straight to the woods. It's the same thing that has been two weeks ago. The birds are singing, the animals run away from me, the trees are still as always. They're basically saying at my face "Everything is normal."
"It's not normal!" I scream, punching a tree. "IT'S NOT NORMAL, CATNIP IS GONE, FOREVER. I'M NEVER GOING TO SEE HER AGAIN." I feel my eyes filled up with water, and for the first time in my life, I'm not ashamed to cry. I sit on the floor and I cry. I'm just done, Catnip. I can't even be angry right now, I can't feel a thing, I only feel emptiness. District 12 is empty without you, the woods are empty without you, I am empty without you.
I may have hunted something. I don't remember anymore. I don't even care anymore; life has no sense at all. I took the things to your family. You'll be happy to know that your mom hasn't shut down. She's sad, but she's doing her best to help Prim out. Prim is a mess. She's in the bedroom all day, your mom says. I promise, Catnip, tomorrow I'll hang out with her, I'll make her smile. I won't let her be sad. I finally get home after a long day. My mom looks at me but say nothing. I must look pathetic, with my red eyes, but I don't mind. I drop the food and mumbled a "I'm not hungry" and go straight to my bedroom, to lay down again. It's been three days I don't sleep, and I'm tired. I'm just too tired, Katniss. Where are you? Why are you gone?
I close my eyes, and finally fall asleep. And I hope I don't wake up. Waking up without you, it's like drinking from an empty cup.