Title: Thirty Days
Author: Tanuki-chan
Summary: *sasunaru* It's a normal day . . . until Sasuke's rich and spoiled fiancée appears. Now, Sasuke and Naruto have one month to either get rid of her, or face the consequences – lifelong doom/torture and the end of ramen.
Warning: Shounen-ai! That means boy/boy love! If you have a problem with that, then let me point out something – the back button's not only there for decoration, you know.
Disclaimer: Um . . . I own this shoe! ^_^ No, wait . . . that's owned by Nike. -_-;
//. . .// indicates thoughts
~*~*~_O_O=^-^=~*~*~ indicates scene change
It was a normal morning. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and everything was right with the world.
That is, until the peacefulness was shattered by a scream.
Make that several screams.
"KYAAAAA~AAAA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SASUKE-KUN!!"
"Sasuke-kun! I made a present for you!"
"I have tickets to the festival they're holding tonight! Want to come with me?"
"I LOVE YOU, SASUKE-KUN!"
Uchiha Sasuke, newly 16, groaned and buried his head into his pillows, trying to drown out the squeals outside his apartment door. //Seven o'clock. How the hell did they get here so early?!//
Realizing that going back to sleep was impossible, he got up and staggered towards his closet. The girls, if possible, grew louder. Sasuke didn't bother listening to what they were saying – it all boiled down to the same thing, anyway.
"Sasuke, I've liked you since I was five!"
"Oh, yeah? I've liked him since I was two!"
"You didn't even know him then!"
"Sasuke, hold me!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Sasuke, I'm a stupid female who can't control her hormones and decided to bother you when you were obviously sleeping," he mocked. "Now kiss me!" He pulled out a rope specifically measured to get him to the ground safely. Ever since his thirteenth birthday, where he was forced to jump out of his window and sprain his wrist, he had learned to carry a means of escape whenever a holiday, especially one that had to do with presents/love, was approaching. He flung the rope out of his window and started climbing down the building.
"OIII~III! WHAT'S UP, BIRTHDAY BOY?!"
"GAH!" Startled, Sasuke let go of the rope and landed on the ground with a thud. He opened his eyes to find a certain blond boy laughing his head off.
"HAHAHAHAHA! You should've seen your face! You looked like a fish!"
"Dobe . . ." Sasuke growled.
Naruto suddenly grinned evilly. "Tsk, tsk. Running away from your loyal fans? They deserve to know where you are."
Sasuke's eyes widened. "Don't you dare, dobe!"
But it was too late. Naruto cleared his throat and shouted towards the open window. "OI! UCHIHA-SAN'S DOWN HERE!"
Sasuke swore and picked himself up as the sound of a stampede drew near. Naruto leered at him. "Better run fast, birthday boy. Your fanclub sounds eager!"
"Damn you, asshole!" Sasuke cursed over his shoulder as he sped away.
~*~*~_ O_O =^-^=*~*~*
Naruto lounged in the clearing Kakashi had chosen for their training. He blinked as Sakura emerged. "Ne, Sakura-chan, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be chasing Sasuke with the girls."
Sakura sniffed. "For your information, we weren't chasing him. Sheesh, you make us sound like rabid dogs or something. And I'm obviously here to train – ah! Kakashi-sensei, you're late!"
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Sasuke's not here yet? Damn, I'm earlier than I thought." He pulled out a notebook. "Note to self: Arrive thirty minutes later than usual tomorrow."
Naruto and Sakura fell over. "Hah! I knew it!" the boy cried. "You turn up late on purpose, don't you?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Kakashi replied innocently. "Where is Sasuke, by the way?"
Naruto snickered. "Oh, he should be showing up any minute now."
As if on cue, Sasuke appeared, gasping for air, his shirt torn in several places. "I . . . hate . . . you, Naruto," he rasped out, then collapsed on the ground, his chest heaving.
Kakashi sweatdropped, but continued. "Anyway, now that we're all here, I have an announcement to make. A girl will be staying with us for a month."
Sakura interrupted him. "Is she a ninja, then?"
Kakashi scowled. "Hardly. Her family is incredibly rich and holds tremendous power over political decisions in Japan. Basically, she's saying that if we don't let her stay, she'll exile the Hokage and all ninjas."
"WHAT?!" yelped all three students.
"Nuh-uh, there is no way she can do that!" declared Naruto vehemently.
"Unfortunately, she can. So we're stuck babysitting Hime for a month, and we have to be extra nice to her while we're at it. Sasuke, she demanded to sleep in your apartment, so you'll have to move in with Naruto."
In midst of the two boys cursing, Sakura asked "Is her name really Hime?"
Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Merisu Hime," he said. [1]
Sasuke froze. "W-wait, did you just say her name was Merisu Hime?"
Kakashi nodded.
"A-ah! I just remembered something!" Sasuke stammered. "I have some, uh, family business to attend to and I'll be gone for the entire month!"
Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "Your family's dead."
Sasuke laughed nervously. "Really? I mean, of course they are! I have to, um, sort out the will and everything, you know."
"Since you're the last surviving member of the Uchiha clan, I should think that everything would be left you."
"Well, there's Itachi and stuff . . . ."
"You hate your brother."
"Who, Itachi? No, I don't! Whatever gave you that idea?"
Kakashi opened his mouth, but was interrupted by a bright, annoyingly high-pitched voice. "Sasuuuu~uuke-kun! Long time no see! I missed you!"
Sasuke paled. //Oh, gods, no . . .// He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and turned around.
"Hello, Hime-chan," he said, plastering a fake smile on his face. "What brings you here?"
There was only one word to describe the girl behind him, and that was petite. She was slim with long, cascading black hair. Her face was heart-shaped, and she was at least a foot shorter than Sakura. Her skin looked like it had never seen the sun before. She radiated hearts, rainbows, bluebirds, and cute fluffy kittens.
Hime giggled and latched onto his waist, much to the jealousy of a certain pink-haired ninja. "Oooh, Sasuke, you silly goose," she cooed, batting her eyelashes. "Did you forget our contract?"
//I damn wish I could've!// "Of course not, Hime-chan," he gritted out.
"Wait," interjected Naruto. "What contract?"
Hime stared at him, evidently noticing the other three people in the clearing for the first time. She scowled. "Sasuke, whatever are you doing with these," she wrinkled her nose in distaste, "commoners?"
"Nani?!" cried Naruto. "What did you call me?!"
Sasuke sighed. "Hime-chan, these are my – "
Hime tittered. "Oh, I get it!" She peered at Naruto. "You're one of Sasuke's servants, aren't you?"
Naruto turned red in rage. "Servant?! To HIM? You've got to be kidding me!" he spluttered.
Sasuke groaned, feeling a headache coming on. "Ho, Hime-chan, these are my teammates, Sakura and Naruto, and that's my teacher Kakashi."
Hime gasped. "You mean you're forced to work with . . . them? That's horrible, Sasuke!" She ignored Naruto's growl. "And how can a lowly man of no status possibly teach you anything?"
Sasuke rubbed his temples. "Hime-chan, why don't you go unpack?" he suggested. Hime beamed.
"That's a great idea! We're going to have so much fun together, Sasuke!" She turned around and didn't just walk – she flounced.
The 'commoners' watched her go, and when she flounced out of sight, turned towards Sasuke.
"How do you know her?" demanded Sakura.
"What contract?" asked Naruto.
"Do I really have no status?" mused Kakashi.
Sasuke sweatdropped. "Compared to her, yes, you have no status whatsoever. As for the contract, my parents drew one up that would take place on my sixteenth birthday. And as for how I know her . . ." Sasuke took a deep breath. "She's my fiancée."
Sakura fainted.
~*~*~_ O_O =^-^=~*~*~
That night . . . .
"Sasuuu~uuke! Where are you?"
Naruto winced as the annoying voice reached his ears. He opened the door. "Keep it down," he snarled. "Some of us are trying to sleep, you know!"
Hime gasped. "Y-you filthy animal!" she shrieked. "You have no right to talk to me like that!"
Naruto blew up. "I can talk any damn way I want, you got that? Now, why don't you go soak that over bloated head of yours in the toilet! I'll help!"
Hime's eyes filled with tears. "You . . . How dare you . . . My father will make you pay dearly . . ."
"Oh, I'm terrified now," Naruto sneered, watching with satisfaction as the girl ran away sobbing.
He shook his head slowly. "Damn, that girl's worse than Sasuke. I almost pity him."
"Glad to here that, dobe," muttered a voice.
Naruto jumped, and almost screamed as Sasuke's head popped out from under his bed, along with a suitcase. "Wha-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! GET YOUR STUFF OUT OF HERE NOW!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Relax, dobe." He unrolled his futon. "We're sharing your room, remember?"
"Oh, yeah . . ." said Naruto sheepishly. He blinked. "What were you doing under my bed, anyway?"
"Hiding."
"What's this?" remarked Naruto sarcastically. "The great Uchiha Sasuke, heir to the Uchiha clan, is afraid of a little girl? The world's coming to an end!"
"Oh, shut up," snapped Sasuke. "Trust me, a few more days and you'll be hiding with me."
Naruto snorted. "Whatever." He climbed on his bed and yawned.
"You shouldn't have snapped back at her, you know," said a quiet voice. "She's really pissed at you now."
Naruto scowled. "Who, that sissy? What can she do to hurt me?"
"Oh, I don't know. She could exile you from Japan for the rest of your life, or she could just put a 1,000,000 yen 'wanted' fee over your head."
Naruto gaped at the genius chunnin. "She can do that? Seriously?"
Sasuke snorted. "How else do you think she pulled my parents into signing the damn contract? She threatened to take away our property and titles." He laughed bitterly. "'Course, it didn't matter anyway, seeing how they're dead now."
"Sasuke . . ."
Sasuke turned over. "Go to sleep, dobe."
~*~*~_O_O=^-^=~*~*~
The next morning . . .
Naruto yawned and sat up, realizing Sasuke already left. 'Figures.' He brushed his teeth, got dressed, opened the door, and blinked. Hime was standing in front of him, looking down shyly.
"Naruto-kun, I was thinking about what happened yesterday and . . . well, I was really rude. If there's any way to make it up to you . . ."
Naruto stared. "Uh . . ." he commented intelligently.
"I know! Why don't I treat you for breakfast? What do you like to eat?"
Naruto perked up. At last, a question he knew the answer to! "Ramen!"
Hime smiled. "Alright, do you know any ramen shops nearby?"
Naruto grinned. //Maybe she's not so bad, after all.//
"Hai! Let's go!"
They reached the shop without any incidents. The shopkeeper waved as his number-one customer sat down.
"Hey, Naruto! What'll it be?"
"I'll take a miso ramen, and Merisu-san here will have . . . ah . . ." He elbowed Hime, who was looking around the shop with an unusually thoughtful expression.
"Hm? Oh! I'll have the same, please." She leaned in towards Naruto. "So, you like this place, Uzumaki-kun?"
Naruto grinned widely. "Hell yeah! I spend half my day here! I could live in this place!"
"I see. And what about the location?"
Naruto blinked, clueless. "Huh? What about it?"
Hime sighed, trying to keep her patience. "I mean, can you get here easily from somewhere else, say . . . Sasuke's place?"
Naruto scratched his head. "I don't visit Sasuke all that often, but yeah, his apartment's pretty close."
Hime beamed. "Thank you, Uzumaki-kun! You don't know how helpful you've been!"
"Eh? Helpful? Me?"
"That's right!" she squealed. "I've been looking for a place to build a new shopping mall, and this place is perfect! Great scenery, and it's near Sasuke's apartment!"
"B-but what about the ramen shop?!" spluttered Naruto.
Hime smirked nastily. "Ah. Well, I'll have to tear it down, but don't worry. The mall will carry sashimi and other delicacies – none of this fattening junk."
"You can't do that!"
"But the thing is, I already have," she leered. "Oh, and did I forget to mention one more bonus? You obviously like it here, so imagine my satisfaction from getting rid of it." And with that, she turned around and flounced out the door. Naruto could only gape wordlessly.
"Told you not to piss her off."
He whirled around. "Damn it, Sasuke! How long have you been standing there?"
Sasuke shrugged. "Long enough."
"Well, do something! You're a genius! God knows you've had enough time to form a plan!"
The black-haired boy gazed at Naruto expressionlessly. "Actually, I do have a plan, but I'm going to need your help."
"I'll do anything!"
Sasuke's face lit up into an evil smile. "Ah. I was wondering when you'd say that."
~TBC~
[1] – 'Merisu' was derived from the term Mary-Sue, which is an OC who's perfect – she's beautiful, has a tragic past, is five times more powerful than any of the other characters, and falls in love with the cutest character of the show. Luckily, Naruto has not yet been plagued by these awful beasts, but check out the Yu Yu Hakusho section – for every 50 stories, there are at least 25 Mary-Sues. Oh, and Hime means princess. Fitting, no?
Author's Notes: Well, how was it? Expect an update sometime in the next month or so – I get lazy. Of course, the best cure for laziness is a healthy dose of reviews! ^_^