Chapter 1 – When it rains

"No. I told you I have to go. It's not like I want to. I just have to."

"Oh, come on Alissa. You're grown up. And your mother can live without you."

"Dan… I'm only 17. Look, I'll visit often. I'll try to be here every weekend."

"Teignmouth is so fucking far from London. You won't be able to be here every week."

My mother had decided she wanted to move somewhere where she wouldn't be reminded of my dad who had recently left us to live with a 20-year-old… girl. Girl is not really the word I'd like to use… Anyway, my family was never really a family. It was more like a bunch of people living in the same house without communicating. My father was a loser, always drunk. My mother's everyday occupation was gossip. And I… I just did what every normal 17-year-old would do. Shopping around the busy streets of London, talk about boys with my friends and get drunk every now and then.

Everything, though, would end tomorrow, when we would get inside a car and drive to that god-forsaken part of dull land called Teignmouth.

I took a deep breath. I had to finish the call.

"Dan, look, there's absolutely nothing we can do. I'm leaving tomorrow. And I have to sleep. So goodnight." I said and quickly ended the call before he had the chance to argue.

I left my mobile phone on the small table next to my bed and laid down. I turned my head to the side and stared out of the window… The dark sky was quiet. There were no stars, no moon. Only clouds. Clouds threatening to flood London. Just because I was leaving.

"Yeah… definitely…" I snorted at my own stupid thoughts.

I looked away from the window and stared at the ceiling. And while silently cursing my life, I drifted to a peaceful sleep…

[…]

Saturday Morning, 3.3.1999

"Alissa! Alissa, wake up!"

That was my mother's voice. Why was she yelling like this at… 8:00 am?

I sleepily got up and stretched before I walked down the stairs to see what was going on. My mom was standing at the door and when she saw me climbing down the stairs, she let someone in. And that someone was Dan.

"He came to talk to you." my mom said smiling and went into the kitchen to make breakfast.

Once she was gone, Dan grabbed my arm and hugged me tightly. But he was… happy (?).

"Can we go up to your room? I want to talk to you. Privately."

He whispered the last word and I realized that my mother was hidden behind the door that separated the hallway from the kitchen, trying to listen to our conversation. I huffed annoyed but didn't say a word. I just climbed up the stairs and Dan followed me. Once we were in my room, I closed the door and sat at the edge of my bed.

"So?" I asked Dan while he was sitting on the chair of my desk.

"I've got great news." he said cheerfully.

"Go on then." I said and then yawned.

"I would ask you to guess but since you are still not fully awaken I'll tell you myself." he said with a smile.

"I am awaken." I complained.

"Not really."

This time he smirked. And then I saw what he meant.

"What did you do to your hair?" I said a bit too loudly.

"No need to shout. I just wanted a change. But you didn't even notice." he said with a childish voice.

"Like you said, I wasn't fully awaken to pay attention on details."

Dan's hair was long since we were 14. It was brown, shineless, a bit dull… but boys don't pay much attention to their hair, now do they? And I remember him like this till… yesterday. Now his hair was too short and a bit bleached. It was cool. I liked this change. It matched perfectly with his golden-coloured skin and his chocolate-brown eyes.

"When did you do it?" I asked him.

"I have a friend… I asked her to come over when you hang up and she did." he said, the weird smile still on his lips.

"Yeah… but why?" I asked curiously.

"Well, since I'm leaving and changing place and all, why not change my hair as well?"

"Wait a sec! You said you're leaving? Where are you going?"

"To Teignmouth!" he exclaimed happily.

"To where ?" I exclaimed too but not exactly happily.

"I'm coming with you, baby. I can't let you suffer alone. I'm leaving with you today!"

He got up and came to me. I got up as well and hugged him.

I didn't know why but I didn't feel happy. I mean, I had a great time with Dan. Why wasn't I happy that he would come with me?

[…]

Saturday afternoon, 3.3.1999

18:37 pm

"Are you sure you packed everything?" my mother asked for the millionth time.

"Yes mom." I said for the millionth time while I put my luggage at the back of the car.

"Where's Dan? We have to go." my mom said impatiently.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. He will go by taxi. Because of the extra luggage. We can go now." I said making sure I hadn't forgotten my mobile phone or my Ipod.

"Ok then. Say goodbye to our old house." she said and smiled at me.

'Why is she so happy? We're leaving our home.' I thought to myself.

"Be sure, we're gonna have fun there." she said.

She got into the car, at the driver's seat. I followed her and sat next to her. I cast a glance at the simple white house that used to be mine and when I turned to look in front of me, my mom had already started the engine. The noise was loud and annoying. But there was something else as well. A noise on the car window. It was raining.