Summary:

Loki and Thor have been frenemies their whole lives and suddenly they are being thrust together to marry. But nothing goes as planned. Loki is betraying someone who is using him to betray someone else. Thor is a nice guy and Loki just doesn't know how to deal with that. And besides, his current boyfriend promised him he'd rule the 9 realms.

Notes:

No beta

This is an AU that mixes mythology and the movies. This story is going to have all kinds on things in it so the tags will change and warnings will be posted.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

It was an insult, that's what it was. An insult to Asgard, an insult of the royal family and an insult to Thor.

Out of the blue, Laufey, king of the Frost Giants, proclaimed allegiance to Asgard. It seemed like it came out of nowhere. An envoy arrived suddenly talking about peace when it seemed forever that they were on the brink of war.

The reason they claimed, was that the people of Jotunheim were dying. And while that was true, Frost Giants had been dying for a millennium. Why did Laufey suddenly care about that?

To seal the deal, he offered one of their princes as a mate for Thor.

And who did they offer?

Loki.

The perpetual prisoner, having been arrested in all nine realms at least three times each.

Loki.

The sociopathic, pathological liar.

Loki.

Thor's lifelong frenemy.

No Thor was not pleased.

It wasn't that Thor didn't like Loki. On the contrary. Thor liked him very much.

On every realm, Loki would be considered an exotic looking man. His hair was so incredibly black and his eyes were so incredibly green. He was smart as a whip having even gone word for word with Odin, the wisest of all the realms, and managed to stump him. And his magic was unrivaled even in comparison to Frigga, the strongest white magic wielder in all the realms.

But Loki in long doses was overpowering. He was ready for Loki to be escorted off Asgard after about a month of his presence on his planet. Loki was demanding, rude and picky none of which was something Thor would want to spend all eternity with. Much less would he want to sire Loki's children.

He could only imagine the constant complaints and demands Loki would put everyone through.

But alas, he was a prince. And as such, for the good of all nine realms, Thor knew he'd have to do it. Perhaps he could convince Loki to continue on his travels after the appropriate nuptial period was over. Loki was a wanderer. No planet was his home. He went where he pleased, to do what he pleased and sought new experiences and people to annoy. Marriage life, Thor knew, would not be something Loki was interested in.

The Bifrost opened and there was Laufey, standing there with a fake smile on his blue face. On both sides of him was his three sons. Helblini was the eldest and next in line for the Jotun thrown. He had a much more genuine smile on his blue face and was actually a friendly prince. He was nothing like his incredibly cruel father.

Next to him was Loptr, Laufey's youngest son. He had a much more stern face which matched his personality, but he was actually kind hearted. He cared about his people and worked to make peace with everyone his Father worked to declare war with. He just had no sense of humor.

A joke on Asgard was that Loptr had no humor because Loki had taken it all a year earlier. Loki was the middle child but acted as if he was the youngest some times. He was full of humor, both of the light kind and dark. The most serious situations, he had the power to lighten. If you were looking for a good time, Loki was your god.

Loki stood there dressed in his ceremonial leathers. He had a playful smirk on his face but it didn't reach his eyes and it made Thor wonder if the smile was genuine. It was no secret that Loki had a lover. It was expected that he would marry Malekith, the Dark Elf Prince. Well maybe more accurately, Malekith expected to marry Loki. Thor wondered if this ruined what he going with the other prince.

Next to Thor, was Odin and Frigga his parents. Both were happy enough about this union especially since they both liked Loki and both wanted peace as well but neither was stupid. There was a chance that this was a trick.

Frost Giants in general were notoriously untrustworthy. They were selfish creatures for the most part but for the sake of ending a three thousand year feud, everyone was willing to see just how this would all play out.

The Frost Giants bowed as a sign of respect to the All Family.

"Odin." Laufey's fake smile matched the fake niceness in his voice. "I am giving you one of my prized possessions."

What a load of crap. Laufey hated Loki with a passion and everyone knew it. The only think that kept Loki alive as a child was Helblini's attachment to the runt.

The only thing keeping Loki alive now was the high probably that Loki could extinguish Laufey's life with relative ease.

The tales of the abuse Loki suffered as a child was well known. It was why, despite his sociopathic, sometimes violent, and always self-destructive behavior was tolerated by everyone.

Mental illness was known to all species.

Frigga was the first to respond. "And we are giving you something just as previous."

Loki snorted. "Hardly."

Of course the first words out of the runt's mouth was a sarcastic remark. "Shut up Loki." He spat out.

Just as quickly Loki spat back. "Make me Princess."

Thor took a step forward to do just that, loving that Loki didn't take a step back but instead braced for the blow. Loki was always ready to fight. His mouth go him into a lot of trouble and he'd become an expert at getting himself back out of it.

And they had gone toe to toe before. Loki's magical blasts stung something fierce. And there was this one time that he took Mjolnir to the face that had the whole court thinking Thor killed him. It was a hit that should have killed him. But Loki bounced up laughing hysterically with nothing more than a black eye.

Odin's hand on Thor's chest halted Thor's movements this time though. "Why don't you take Loki to his knew rooms?"

Requests from the All Father were always commands so Thor took a calming breath. "Yes father."

Thor could tell Loki was trying to hold back a laugh as he fell in step next him. "I hope my accommodations are fit for a future queen."

Of course Loki would refer to himself as a queen. Why couldn't he just keep his title of Prince? "Shut up Loki!"

"We've just had this conversation Thor. I know you're slow but seriously, we are having a new conversation now."

Loki often called Thor stupid. It was his go to insult. That and Princess. He wondered if Loki really thought that though. At times when Loki was in a less playful mood, he often as Thor for advice. If Loki thought him so stupid, why did he do so?

They stepped in front of large, well decorated, double doors. "They are fit for royalty Loki." Thor assured knowing that they really were nice. He had seen personally that many of Loki's favorite colors were used and made room for his numerous books, potions, wands and staves.

Loki did not look impressed. "Open the door so I can judge for myself."

"Is there something wrong with your hands that you cannot open the door yourself?" Thor asked, already reaching his limit for dealing with the other prince.

Loki's smile turned devious. "Open the door Peasant."

Oh, there was no way Thor was going to open the door now. But he knew there was no way Loki was either.

It came down to a battle of wills which was really a battle of patience of which Thor had none. Eventually, Thor relented and pushed open the door with something that sounded like a growl and a grunt.

With a smug smile and a snobbish walk, Loki stepped inside and surveyed the room. "Norns no." He scoffed. "This is simply unacceptable."

That wasn't true. There was nothing unacceptable about this room. It was nicer than all the rooms Loki had on all the other realms. But there was no way he was going to make this easy for the Thunderer. "I decline this."

The look of pure frustration on Thor's face made everything so much better. "There are no other options."

"I highly doubt that. This palace is the biggest palace in all nine realms." Without a spare look for the offered room, Loki left and walked himself to another part of the castle. "Whose rooms are these?"

"You know very well these are my rooms." Thor was almost shouting now. "You've been in my chambers before!"

"No, they were your rooms. They are now mine." The rooms were only slightly bigger and he didn't like Thor's decorations at all. But that was not the point.

Loki smiled as Thor's face reddened. "They most certainly are not fine. The rooms prepared for you are acceptable accommodations."

"Then why can't you sleep in them?" Loki's brows rose at Thor floundered for a moment. "You said it was fine for a royal, which is what you are. If it was good enough for me then I fail to see how it's not good enough for you."

Thor breathed hard, clearly trying to calm himself as in the distance, Loki could hear a rumble of thunder. "It matters not." Thor said. "Soon enough we will be sharing quarters."

"Until then Princess, remove yourself from my rooms." "Oh and your décor is dreadful. I demand one your servants bring the decorations from the other room and bring them to me."

Thor stomping on out made Loki a little giddy inside. But suddenly, Thor turned around. "If the accommodations are so unfit why would you want me to move them?"

Loki's smile widened with no good answer.

Thor's anger deflated and he shook his head. "Super is in three hours. I am sure we have something to appease your delicate Jotun stomach."

Loki nodded that he would be there.

Soon little servants went running in and out changing furniture and bringing Loki's things inside his new rooms. He had only a moment to freshen up in the rest room before Laufey and his brother had joined him.

"Leave us." Loki said to the servants. "I wish to wish my family farewell alone."

The servants scrambled out leaving the four men standing facing each other.

"Loki." Laufey started. "I trust you have not forgotten your task."

"Of course not Father." He always choked on that word. The hatred Laufey felt for him was reciprocated fully. He sat at the vanity letting his legs open as he leaned to the right. "I am to wed the idiot, knock myself up and kill Thor once his Father passes the crown. Seriously this isn't some complicated, convoluted scheme. It's simple world domination."

Laufey groaned. "You have a way of complicating things."

"Well, if you think me incapable of carrying this out, I encourage you to marry Thor."

Laufey's red eyes narrowed before taking his leave without so much as farewell look to his middle child. Loptr gave a small smile before leaving his elder brother's together.

Helblini regarded his brother for a moment before he started playing with the strands of dark hair teasing Loki's shoulders. "My suggestion is that you let Thor bed you. I hear he is an excellent lover."

Loki shrugged. Sex was never one of his motivators. It alleviated stress. That was pretty much it.

"I'm sure he'd be better than Malekith. He is beneath you."

"Yes, he usually is." Loki agreed. "I'd never allow him the top position."

Helblini laughed at his brother's lewdness. "Whether you bed Thor or not is really not my concern. My concern is that you are prepared to do what you must when the time comes."

"Since when have you known me to be weak?"

"Never little brother." Helblini assured. "But this will not be something that we can undo."

"Our people are dying Blini. And this is not by the hands of Odin but Laufey himself. I have no love for your father and I will not hesitate. You tell me when, and it will be done."

"It will be before your actual wedding. We wouldn't want you to be actually tied down to Asgard. It serves you no purpose." Helblini thought about it for a moment. "Unless you want the title of Queen."

"Malekith has offered me the title over the Dark Elves."

Helblini huffed. "I wish you'd reconsider Loki. Malekith is weak."

"But he caters to me."

Helblini's smile widened affectionately. "And I know how much you love that."

"I have immense interest in world domination. Being queen will assist me in that. But I have no interest in being a wife. Malekith is well aware that he's a temporary cock." Loki stood up from his chair and ushered him to the door. "Brother, I have to get through this in order to even get to that. One step at a time. For now, I have at least a month or two to use Asgard into my playground and a Thunderer to annoy."

Helblini took his leave and Loki finally took a minute to breathe.

In all honesty, Loki could be happy living in Asgard as Thor's queen. Despite the horrible brightness of the realm, Asgard had been kind to him. During his stays in the Asgardian jails, Frigga always furnished it well and kept him comfortable. Odin would send him meals fit for a prince and Thor would keep him company with tales of exaggerated stories that were always made more entertaining the more ale Thor drank.

But he could never imagine being trapped on one realm for so long. And he could never imagine one person wanting to keep him around that long.

But that wasn't the point of him being here. He was in the unique position where his lies were lies and truths were lies and the only one who knew his true motives for anything was himself and they changed daily.

In meantime, Loki would keep Thor close but at a distance. He would smile in Laufey's face while preparing to stab him in the back. And he would wait for the day where Jotunheim would be able to rule itself again.

Notes:

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