This is a crack fic. Plain and simple. Sora's definitely OOC.

I'm dedicating this to my best friend, without whom I never would have written this.

Roxas to the Rescue!

Roxas stepped into his bedroom and immediately wished he hadn't.

Lying there, stretched out across his bed and hugging a pillow to his chest, was his twin brother, Sora. There was only one reason his brother would be in his room.

He dropped his messenger bag just inside the door and sighed. "What did you do this time?"

Sora sniffled and buried his face in the pillow. (Roxas made a note to either wash it or change the pillow case before bed.) When he spoke, his words were too muffled by fabric and feathers to be understood clearly.

"Stop talking to the pillow, Sora."

Sora lifted up his head. "I forgot the eggs."

Roxas stared at him. He sounded miserable. Like he's run over a dog on his way home rather than forget a few stupid, easily replaceable food items.

Sora rolled over and sat up, his brown hair even more mussed than usual. He was still hugging the pillow and his blue eyes were wide with unshed tears. "The eggs, Roxas! How could I forget the eggs?!"

"I have no idea," Roxas said wearily. He slowly backed away, and started to reach for the Struggle bat he kept behind his door.

"They're the most important part! I can't make cookies for Riku without them!"

"Cookies," Roxas repeated, narrowing his eyes. He left the bat where it was. "For Riku."

Sora nodded quickly. "Yes! I promised him I would! And I ran out and bought everything I needed before I came home, but I left the eggs at the checkout! I'm the worst boyfriend ever!"

With a loud, dramatic sob, Sora flopped face first onto the bed and continued to moan about what a tragedy it was and how Riku was going to hate him forever.

Roxas managed to listen to him for about thirty seconds before he got frustrated enough to fish his phone out of his pocket and call in some help.

"Axel? Hey, I need you to do me a favor. No, not that. I need you to go to the grocery store and – what? No. Not that either. I'm sorry, what do you mean you're banned from all of them? Axel, I swear – then go to a gas station! I don't care as long as you bring me a carton of eggs! Preferably in the next twenty minutes or I'm afraid Sora's going to suffer some kind of horrific accident via Struggle bat on top of his complete mental breakdown. I'll tell you when you get here. Hurry."

Roxas hung up and braced himself for a full half hour of Sora's ridiculous behavior.