Title : Messy Christmas!
Author : Di-Bee
Summary : Christmas day at the Sanctuary, with the whole crew and more. Another crazy day ahead. Crack!fic/parody, humour, possible romance.
Rating : K+
Disclaimer : I do not own the characters, story etc, don't make any money from it. Christmas isn't mine either, and I would have gladly escaped my own personal meal hell, but I wasn't granted my wish.
Spoiler : None. Everyone is here. Literally. There is a couple ghosts, because, crack!fic or not, you gotta justify yourself!
Author's note : This is a crack!fic. I say this for the third time, just to be safe^^ My characters are probably pretty much all OOC, but that's what makes it funny (to me, at least).
Written on Christmas Eve (I SWEAR I haven't drank anything. Them? Not that sure!^^)
English still isn't my mother tongue, mistakes are still mine and... It's officially Christmas as I write that line. Yihoo -_-'
Have a messy/merry Christmas everyone. Or a nice 25th December if you don't=)
This Christmas was not exactly turning out as planned. Helen was still in her room, wondering if she should pick her black stilettos with that dress, or the marine blue ones with that other, or maybe with that scarf... Constantly looking over her shoulder to be sure no one 'appeared' out of nowhere to surprise her still in her robe at 11 in the morning.
Big Guy had arranged for the meal, but had managed to burn himself on one of his hairy hands, needing assistance to get the dishes on the table, and holding a grudge against one bored Nikola Tesla for having experimented with the Sanctuary's voltage for a while. Five hours long. Now the fish was burned, the pie was melting outside in, and the poultry... No, the poultry was fine, he just couldn't cut it by himself. He grunted, and decided it would get to the table this way, after all, someone around the table could cut it. What they did with the knife afterwards was none of his hairy business.
Kate was... still snoring soundly when her alarm clock buzzed. She slapped her hand on the button, but grunted when the noise wouldn't stop, the button holding its nose and cursing. There must have been something in the drinks the night before...
Will got up to an angelic face, surrounded by long blond hair, waving a mischievous smile in his general direction. As well as a bucket of water. Cold, water. Damn ghosts.
Helen was nearly faced to the same problem as she jumped when she felt someone appear in a 'whoosh' behind her.
"James, don't... just keep appearing like that!" She was half dressed, one foot in a stiletto, the other in a mule, her hair looking as if she had recently hugged a living magnet. Maybe that was some kind of clue, though.
John? He would just appear whenever he was needed, who cared?
Some time later, the joyous company got to the dining room, where they were, as the name was hardly any indication, going to have lunch. They all sat in their due place, three people on the chair on Magnus' right hand sight, namely Will, Ashley and James, then Kate, who sat opposite to 'Hank' whose hair seemed to also suffer from the presence at his side of one 'bright' looking Nikola Tesla.
As Big Foot entered the room, he 'accidentally' forked Tesla in the back, having apparently forgotten the man's magnetic ability, he was now to go and fetch another fork.
The canapés and such were eaten in relative silence, every one intimately persuaded to be the only one to hear the ghosts speaking. They all agreed to jump at the same time, though, when John appeared with a rather angry look on his face, by the same door Big Foot had.
"Someone" he stressed the word, looking intently to the young werewolf "had apparently forgotten to put down the EM shield." Henry gulped, only able to shake his head. It was not him. In fact, he had let it down all night, which was technically a very huge big mistake but he had assumed... that maybe, him and Magnus...
Or maybe not.
"It was me John, I must have forgotten." Lots of stress on that poor word, too. "to put it down after I messed with, er, tampered with, er, used the Sanctuary's voltage for an experiment." He barely glanced at Helen, whose whole face seemed to say : "how can he possibly look that gorgeous?"
"Maybe I'll just go and help your servant in his ungrateful work, then." John added, strangely he wasn't looking at the table, but rather at Nikola's forked back as he said so.
As he left the room, his -late- daughter put her hand on his -late- best friend's, both nodding at Helen with what appeared to be the same head.
When they came back with the poultry, John was also sporting a big grin, and an even bigger knife. Global gulp. Big Foot put the dish in front of Helen and Nikola, leaving to John the 'cutting' job with the shadow of a satisfied smile on a bright day. He brandished the knife at reasonable distance of the flesh, and waited for all the guests to have shifted uncomfortably before softly slicing the meat. He felt Nikola glare in his back, but was more than ready to show the man that an accident could happen quicker than he thought. Like that, in a 'flash'. The man had stolen his fiancée and his gift idea from him, it certainly would not end well...