AN: So, this is in Tyson POV. and slightly major KaiHil. If you don't like KaiHil, I suggest you hit the little cross in the upper left corner please. Oh, and important tidbit, this a prequel to my old one shot Final Thoughts, which is also a Kai X Hil story. I would very much recommend reading it you haven't, will make things clearer. This would be an year before the events of the prior mentioned fic.
Hope you people enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, zilch.
Road to Acceptance
Baseball cap removed and put back on fifteen times already, dragoon's attack ring adjusted, I didn't know what else to do, as I waited in one of the corridors of the local hospital of Bakuten.
Hiromi had been admitted here. For a while she'd been getting weak, her skin had been going paler and she'd been getting bleeding from her nose when she worked out too much. She was losing weight, and it was apparent. She had resorted to sit back and watch us train instead of training with us. She'd gotten less aggressive and much less violent; I hadn't been injured even once all through the time. When a month passed with these disconcerting signs, and Hiromi terming them as just general stress, the night when she got a fever, the team decided it high time she saw a doctor.
The fever died as quickly as it came over the night, but the team and Grandpa, insisted that she see a general physician. An appointment was made for the very afternoon with her family GP and Ray was to accompany her.
From the moment Hiromi had begun expressing her symptoms, the doctor's apprehension kept increasing till the moment he finally said that he would recommend her getting admitted for a day so they could run some tests.
Ray had said that he felt that a car had crashed into him, when the doctor asked Hiromi to go with the nurse, but him to stay with him to talk. He couldn't respond for a while. When Hiromi left, the doctor told Ray that he suspected leukemia.
Ray called back at the dojo and insisted to talk to Kai, told him all that the doctor had said; and asked him to come down to the hospital.
By the time Kai and the others came down to the hospital Hiromi was in a private room in a white gown with a drip and a heart rate monitor connected to her. Ray was a talking to an attending doctor.
The night and following day went with the all of us just waiting in Hiromi's room while she went through numerous tests. Kai disappeared every time Hiromi disappeared.
Right now Kai was the only one with her, refusing to leave, while the others had gone home to get some rest. Hiromi did not know about the doctor's suspicions, they were after all suspicions, nothing factual.
And I, I was waiting to collect the reports, if these were negative Hiromi was free to go home, if not then there would be complications. I was adamant on being positive. These reports were going to be negative.
Sitting there alone so late it night, I couldn't help but be a bit nervous; I kept fidgeting in my seat. Even hospitals are a bit deserted at night; you can't help feel that the walls are beginning to close on you. My hands couldn't stop quivering and I kept licking my lips till the point they were a bit numb. My whole body felt a bit paralyzed from the tension.
I began to do the last thing I wanted to do reflect on life. I thought of the possibilities of what would happen if something happened to Hiromi. I shuddered every time, but I couldn't really stop the thoughts.
Hiromi had slowly and unknowingly gotten into our lives, and now, life without her seemed impossible. It was funny how someone like her, who couldn't blade, wasn't associated with Beyblading had developed such a bond with all of us.
She was the one who kept me in line, one of my closest friends, the one who I could always talk to, ask help from.
She was Ray's baby sister, the one he got over protective over, he listened to her and she talked to him, when they needed quite from the rowdiness of the rest of the team.
Max's partner when it came to talks about fashion, all smiles both of them when they were together.
To Daichi she was like a mother figure, he never had a mom or a sister, and she was always there to provide a helping hand.
She was Kenny's study buddy, all the study talk that Kenny needed to do with, was done with Hilary, all the tech talk was also with her. She was fiercely protective of him. Nobody could point a finger at old chief, without her breaking it.
She was the grand daughter Grandps always wanted; she was always ready to lend a hand, and to practice kendo with him when no one would.
It was funny how a girl who appeared to be just a hot tempered, over ambitious control freak could have so many sides. He was glad that thanks to Kai giving her training schedule a chance, he had given Hiromi a chance. He would have had the misfortune of not knowing an amazing person if he had let her go.
And finally, Kai. Kai was a person who always had his guard up; he'd been hurt in life, and he let no one in. The Bladebreakers and I had managed to pass through his walls and earn a place in his heart after being a team together. Ironically Hiromi was the one who had in the shortest time gotten further in than any of us. I wasn't sure how Kai would deal with it. It would be another time when someone got through his defenses and then left him astray.
I rubbed my temple and pursed my lips as I thought of this. I looked at the wall, it was midnight. It was and Friday and it'd be movie night at this time usually.
I was scared, I usually acted as if I was very confident, but at this time fear was written all over every inch of me. Every time, a door opened in the entire hallway I'd look up to see if it was the door which I was waiting for.
Kai was close to Hiromi, closer than I'd seen to anyone. I didn't want this to happen to him. It was as if my mind didn't want to accept the truth, because it was, just too painful, to be true, simply that.
It was our first year of college. Hiromi was top of her courses. She had everything planned. I felt guilt.
I wished someone was there with me; I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts. Someone to tell me it was going to be okay. I told myself that, but your own words aren't as comforting as others, even when you know that they are just as unsure as you are. All I could do was hope at that time.
The door of the hematology department open and a nurse came out with two file in hand, she began walking towards me.
I squeezed my eyes shut for two seconds, got up from the chair I was on and made my way to the nurse. I gave a nervous laugh and tightened my fists. She gave a weak smile, and I knew what the result was. I closed my eyes and said no out loud. I took the file from her hands and repeated the previous word.
"You have to give one of these to your patient's doctor." She said, and her voice sounded empathetic. "I'm sorry, but the reports are positive. I know it's probably hard for you, it's someone you know, but all you can do, the best thing to do, is face reality."
I was still not out of shock and just like that she walked back in, leaving me to stare at the empty hallway in front of me. Numb and unable to move, unable to accept the truth, I just stood there with my breathing hitched.
I gave her doctor the file; I couldn't stop fidgeting with my hands all the while. As I walked towards Hiromi's room I made the mistake of coming from the left side and walk passed the window, and saw Hiromi and Kai. Hiromi was sitting up against the back of the bed; Kai was on the chair next to her. They were talking and laughing, Kai was holding Hiromi's hand. I saw Hiromi give Kai a playful push and he was being mock angry at which Hilary gave him another push. They both were so different from their images that existed in they eyes of people, and so much more so when they were together.
The sight and, my feelings at the time still make me wish I had a cardiac arrest at that very moment. I didn't go in. I didn't have the nerve to, I walked straight ahead. I wanted to be anywhere, but that room. I didn't want to face them. They would both be very accepting of the fact; it would kill me to see their act of indifference and pretense lack of fear.
I went back to the same corridor I was previously in. I sat back on one of the chairs, lefited my legs up and kept my head on them, the reports clutched close to my chest.
I felt bad for every little argument. Every time I argued with her, insulted her, didn't listen to her. Every time Ray got mad at her when he was in over protective mode. Every time Kenny yelled at her for messing with his laptop. Every time Daichi insulted her. Every time she had an argument with Kai because of the way he acted. Each time they'd get mad and walk off in opposite directions. How they were so stupidly determined to be so guarded and hesitant about their relationship. I was sure that one of them could be on their death bed and they still would tell that they liked each other.
The same nurse that gave him the file came out of another room and walked over to me. I wiped the tears that had begun to leak from my eyes.
"Hiromi Tachibana," She said, "That's the name of your patient, isn't she the coach of the Bladebreakers? I didn't recognize you at first, you're Tyson Granger."
"Yeah," I said blinking, adjusting my eyes to the dim light of my surrounding. "Yeah, I am." Usually I would have been thrilled to see someone had recognized me I would offer an autograph and be my usual boastful self, but it was hard to speak at that time.
"I'm sorry about your friend," Her voice sounded sincere.
"I just can't believe it," I said with a nervous laugh.
"When you work in a hospital you get used to this stuff, though never completely. Every once in a while you get a patient you get attached to or start to care about, and you just can't believe it, like you said."
"Yeah, right…" I responded, not knowing what else to say. I scratched my head in a nervous way; I didn't know what would happen now.
"You know," The nurse started, "If it'd give you any satisfaction, I could have the reports checked again."
For a second my brain was happy about this thought maybe this was all a mistake. But then I thought, no, there was no point in running from reality; I just wanted this to be a mistake.
"No," I refused, "It's fine. I doubt if you people would have made a mistake just because I want you to." Acceptance was hard, harder than the toughest battle I had to ever go through.
The nurse gave me a helpless smile and I walked away. I adjusted my cap thrice on the way, one of the longest walks I've had.
I turned the handle and opened the door, the smell of antiseptic washed through my nostrils. I walked in, not bothering to close the door behind me. Cancer, honestly, she had to have cancer.
"Hey, are the reports here?" Hiromi asked looking away from Kai.
Kai was looking square into my eyes, his eyebrows furrowed. I had to break eye contact; I couldn't stand looking into his eyes. "Hiromi," I took in a deep breath. "You have leukemia." I closed my eyes, but before I did I saw Hiromi close hers, and grip Kai's hand tight, not allowing him to free it from her grasp, as he tried to lean down in his chair.
I turned around and rested my head against the wall. I felt helpless, I didn't want to be here, didn't want to turn around and see either of them.
"God," I heard Hiromi say. I heard the sound of plastic and cloth rubbing against each other. She was leaning down in her bed.
I turned my head a bit, nervous about what I would see, I saw that Kai was sitting on the bed next to Hiromi, still holding her hand and running the other through her hair. Hiromi was smiling, her eyes still closed. Kai's eyes were progressing towards becoming blood shot; I could see the crimson irises behind the amethyst contacts. His cold face showed vulnerability and defeat.
I was about to leave the room, but then I thought that this was the only time I could, I couldn't turn my back on this whole situation, this was the only time I could walk away, so what was the point. I closed door quietly, walked over to the chair in front of the window and sat down, leaning my head on the window sill, looking at the head casing of the window. I closed my eyes; none of us spoke for I don't even remember how long.
Memories kept playing in my mind like a video diary. Mostly, a hospital room very like this with Kai in bed all wrapped up like a mummy; Daichi being all annoying, me telling him to cut out with annoying Kai; Ray and Max laughing; Kenny typing; Hiromi and Kai talking. It kept playing over and over again.
At times I opened my eyes and saw Hiromi lying in bed so different from the one in my memory and Kai holding her hand, again so much different. And I closed my eyes began, the memories were so much better and for the time, I was happy being there in the present instead of running away from it, but thinking of the past, not the future.
AN: Hope everyone liked it. I worked hard on this, and honestly I really liked this. Please review and tell me what you think of this. Constructive criticism appreciated, heck, all thoughts appreciated.
R and R, please. =P
00:01 a.m. 27th April, 2012.
