The Shadow
(Warning: Rated T for slightly dark themes.)
"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr. (emphasis added)
He didn't remember when it had first appeared.
Even in the vivid yet blurry fragments of his childhood memories, it had always been there.
Watching him. Waiting for him.
.
Initially, Rido had disregarded the intruder when he first became aware of its presence. Back then, the shadow stood at a distance—that vague limbo between close and far away—so it had been simple to ignore. Even at that impressionable young age, he knew the shadow was a manifestation of some part of his subconscious. It was simply a dirty trick played by his mischievous mind. Eventually, it would disappear when the crude act became tiresome. Or so he had convinced himself.
But as the months passed, it did not leave him.
.
When the shadow had first spoken the room was pungent with the smell of blood.
In the chamber directly to his right, his mother let out a scream that sounded horridly unnatural and Rido instinctively gripped the soft fabric of his trousers tighter. In front of him, his father paced brusquely across the large sun room, the smooth contours of his face subtly lined with anxiety. They had been waiting for nearly twenty-four hours—hours barely felt by a vampire, but much longer than any birth, human or not, should take.
As those thoughts skirted across his mind, the anguished moans in the adjacent room suddenly ceased. But the indefinite stillness that followed frightened him much, much more.
The door to the chamber burst opened and a maid's face materialized from the blackness that clung to the room.
Father and son stood up immediately, both parting their lips to speak, but none dared to ask the sacred question.
Her expression turned apologetic and Rido saw the shadow shift slightly in his peripheral vision.
"It's a boy."
His father's extraordinarily calm façade broke as he buried his lovely face in his hands. Rido simply stared. It was a boy. It meant another birth. It meant his mother had to go through hell again to produce the girl the family needed. It was a boy.
Kill it.
Rido blinked rapidly and the dimly-lit room came back into focus.
Out of the corner of his eye, the shadow stirred, but said no more.
.
As the years passed, the shadow drifted ever closer. It lingered a few feet away from him, always at the corner of his vision, always lurking at the corner of his soul. When it spoke, it whispered venomous words dripping with hatred and damnation. Every time it made a suggestion, he tried to close his ears off from the voice, but the words always made their way into his head, stroking his mind with murmurs of murder and sin.
As the years passed, it grew harder and harder to ignore.
.
"Can people be born evil, mommy?"
"Honey, what makes you think that?"
A fidget. "No reason."
.
"It's a girl."
Rido's tensed shoulders dropped and the anxiety visibly drained from his taunt muscles.
"May we go see her, Father?" his younger brother inquired timidly as he shuffled his feet like a frightened rabbit. The shadow stroked the air with its malicious tongue. Rido tried his best to feign ignorance.
His father stared callously at Haruka, but allowed the two boys to pass through the crafted doorway. "Do not stay for too long. Your mother needs her rest."
Inside, the atmosphere was stifling humid and a sugary scent pervaded the chamber, tracing its source to a small sturdy basket at the far corner. Haruka reached the frilly casket first and leaned over, placing a light hand on the child's feathery auburn locks, allowing the fluid curls to glide through his fingers effortlessly.
Rido stiffened. He could suddenly feel the shadow press against him, sliding its dark form along his arm, resting dangerously close to his awaiting ear. It made the suggestion he had heard many, many times before.
Kill him.
"What name did Mother and Father decide on?" Haruka's innocent voice effectively invaded his preoccupied thoughts.
Rido stepped up to the woven carrier, pressing his hand tenderly against the child's rosy cheeks before pulling away. He faintly noticed his lovely sister squirm under the touch. "Juuri."
"Juuri," the younger Kuran repeated, feeling how the word rested on his enchanted tongue, "The name is fitting."
"Of course. She is my fiancée."
She is mine.
Juuri was his.
But why did that make him feel so empty?
.
Rido flipped carelessly through the stack of documents in front of him, his smooth face shielded by the heavy velvet drapery as warm sunlight streamed through the transparent glass.
He allowed a small puff of air to escape his ashen lips. "I think I have simply gone insane," he told the shadow lingering near the corner of the ornate study.
"I must disagree," the shadow answered, its voice lined with amusement.
"Oh?"
"You have always been mad. You simply need to embrace it."
.
Rido watched Juuri and Haruka twirl across the pristine marble floor and felt the ugly serpent of jealousy sink its fangs into his tender heart.
It was not so much that dance that unnerved him. The act itself was a feeble attempt, like a pitiful rabbit struggling against a cunning tiger. Oh no, that wasn't it. Rather, it was Juuri's expression, an expression that she had before only showed exclusively to him.
Security. Joy. Admiration. Love.
Behind him, the shadow caressed a single word over and over again on its silvery tongue.
Mine.
.
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
He heard the shadow scoff.
.
When he was younger, Rido had never understood the appeal of brothels. They were always located in the dingiest and most pitiful parts of town. The girls were hardly charming, their vast experience only sickening him. The rooms had a muggy atmosphere that often smelled of dried bodily fluids.
But the girl in front of him possessed a certain similarity to his little sister that he could not disregard.
"Juuri," he stated, taking the girl's slender hand and placed a gentle kiss on the silky surface.
The girl merely smiled and led him inside a dingy room.
.
Rido peered into the smooth looking glass. Two pairs of eyes stared back at him.
Sapphire. Ruby.
Sapphire. Ruby.
Who was who? Rido couldn't distinguish it anymore.
.
The shadow said it loved her. I love you.
It loved her so, so much. So much.
So much that it wanted to consume her.
No, that wasn't right—
—He wanted to consume her.
And then, darkness consumed him.
.
After that night the shadow no longer appeared.
Disclaimer: Rido does not belong to me. His fabricated angst probably does though.
I actually finished this companion piece in a reasonable time frame. Go me! :)
The style in this one shot sort of differs from the flowery, overly-descriptive style I write with in Eternal. While the other way feels and sounds more natural to me, this way is easier and fits the mood of this piece better.
I've never written on the process of becoming insane before, so I hope I have captured it well.
Oh and if you've just stumbled on this story without reading Eternal, it would make my heart happy if you would go read that story as well-especially if you enjoyed the dark themes present in this one shot. Some of the mild references would make slightly more sense, but not really. xD
As always, please R&R! ^^
Luna.