Let it Rain
Song suggestion as you read the chapter: Rain - Ed Carlsen
Shallow and struggling breaths filled the otherwise silent air of the dimly lit room.
Gray sat solemnly at his usual chair beside the patient's bed. He was worn, sleep-deprived, and utterly exhausted, energy drained from the most recent fight and now constant worrying. Gray closed his eyes and listened to her uneven and fitful breathing, the only sound that he could hear in the dark infirmary.
It had been two weeks since the guild's fight with Tartaros. Most of the guild members were injured, but most recovered and were up and about now, helping to repair the guild or the city. Some members were even starting to go on missions already. It had been two weeks since Juvia had infested the demon Keyes' body and destroyed him. It had been two weeks since she last opened her eyes.
Gray clenched his fists. Because of me. This was his fault. Juvia defeated Keyes at the cost of his magical barrier particles flooding her system and nearly killing her. She did this for Gray, to give his father the sweet release of death because Gray was too cowardly to end his father's life himself.
And Juvia paid the price. She had a fatal dosage of magical barrier particles in her body, and for two weeks, she laid in an infirmary bed, deep in a coma.
"I'm sorry," Gray said hoarsely. I should have killed my father so you wouldn't have to, and I should have protected you from Keyes.
Gray shuddered as he recalled the words Porlyusica said the first time she assessed Juvia's condition after the battle. "It'll be a miracle if she recovers without any permanent damage."
As hard as it was, Gray refused to believe that. Fairy Tail was a guild built on miracles, on the unknown and the impossible. Juvia was one of the strongest people he had ever known, and he knew she would pull through this.
Gray turned to the side and watched Juvia, her sickly pale pallor, her clammy skin. He raised a hand and laid it on her feverish forehead, using his magic to cool her down. With his other hand he held tightly to Juvia's limp hand.
"Juvia..." he whispered, hoping she could hear him. Gray spent years making the same mistake, pushing away loved ones in fear that he would lose them like he lost his parents and Ur. He missed her adoring eyes seeking him every time he walked into a room, her overenthusiasm and perseverance, her home-cooked meals made from loving hands, and the way she called his name like it was the most beautiful word in the language. And now here Juvia was, lying unconscious and half-dead, and all Gray could think about was how much time he wasted trying to push her away instead of cherishing her.
Every minute Juvia had been in this bed, Gray had been beside her, wanting to be there when she awoke and then finally tell her how he felt. Tell her that he was sorry he had wasted all these years ignoring her, tell her that he wanted things to be different between them, tell her that he loved her.
Gray was pulled out of his thoughts by the door opening and the room filling with light from the hallway outside. Gray squinted his eyes, not yet adjusted to the brightness, and saw Mirajane, a concerned look on her face.
"Gray, you should get some dinner," she said gently.
"I'll have it up here," he said without taking his eyes off Juvia.
"No," Mirajane said firmly. Gray looked at her in surprise. "No. You've been in this room for two weeks now. You need to get fresh air, eat with your friends, and stop moping and blaming yourself for Juvia's condition."
"I can't leave-"
"I'll stay and take care of her. Gray, I know you want to be there when she wakes up, but she's not going to be happy when she sees you looking this ragged and worried. It's clear you haven't been taking care of yourself. You've gotten thinner, and you have dark circles under your eyes." Mirajane walked over and sat down next to Gray. "Go get some food. Go home, take a shower, and get some sleep in an actual bed instead of this chair you've been living on for weeks."
"But-"
"No but's!" Mirajane grabbed his hands and pulled him up so that he was standing. "I promise, Juvia will still be here in the morning waiting for you. If you're unwilling to do yourself a favor, then do her a favor so you can look like the charming prince she's always dreamed of when she wakes up. Okay?"
Gray chuckled at that. "I guess one night away from Juvia can't hurt." Mirajane was already pushing him out of the room. "Tell me if anything new happens to her."
"I promise!" Mirajane said, and with one last shove, Gray was finally out of the room.
Gray kept to his promise to Mirajane. He ate and talked to his friends in the guild hall. He listened to stories about their day and found it nice to be distracted from his troubles. Gray even enjoyed fighting with Natsu that night. Everything seemed okay, seemed normal.
Mirajane walked to the bar and started cleaning cups with a towel.
"Mira! Did you Juvia alone?" Gray asked frustratingly.
"Gajeel's with her." Mirajane raised an eyebrow at him. "He's her best friend after all, and you haven't exactly been letting anyone have their own time with Juvia with you being up there all the time."
Gray looked away from her and grumbled.
"You've finished your dinner, now go home and get some rest," she coaxed.
Gray shook his head. "No, I think I'll stay here tonight, Juvia could-"
"GRAY!" shouted an angry redhead who popped up at the bar beside him.
The ice mage shuddered at Erza's tone.
"Go home," Erza said chillingly. "Now."
Gray got up wordlessly and rushed out the guild doors.
"And take a shower for Mavis's sake!" she shouted after him.
Erza turned to Mirajane and wordlessly indicated for another slice of strawberry cake on her plate.
"Thanks," Mirajane said and she cut another slice. "I wasn't sure if he was going to agree if you hadn't come in."
Erza slammed a metal plated fist onto the table. "You have to be firm! You're far too gentle, Mira," she said, shoving a forkful of cake into her mouth.
Gray arrived home for the first time in weeks. A fine layer of dust covered all his furniture and belongings, and clothes remained strewn about like they always were. He added his current clothes to the many piles on the floor and walked over to the shower.
Under the water, Gray scrubbed vigorously at his skin and hair. Quite a bit of filth had accumulated, and he truly wanted to look presentable to Juvia when she woke up.
Juvia.
Her name left a footprint in his brain that he found impossible to erase. All his waking thoughts were filled with her. Her dress, her hair, her scent, her smile. The water from the shower only made him think of Juvia even harder, as water magic was her trade.
He finally stepped out of the shower and got dressed, only to absentmindedly take off the clothes on his way to bed. Gray collapsed on the bed and almost instantaneously fell asleep, all the past weeks' physical and emotional strain catching up to him.
Sunlight that streamed through the open window coaxed Gray awake. He lightly awoke in his bed, warm from the sun and was briefly and blissfully unaware of his troubles. The grogginess from his mind quickly dissipated as he shot up in bed, remembering the woman imprinted always in his thoughts.
"Oh, shit!" he cursed, jumping out of bed and throwing on any clothes he could find. "I overslept!" he said, looking at the position of the sun in the sky. He grabbed a scarf from his dresser, the only article of clothing not on the floor, and carefully wrapped it around his neck. It was the scarf Juvia made him. He clenched his fist. She still didn't know he found it under all the snow and kept it all this time.
Gray burst through the door of his house and ran full throttle to the guild, unconsciously tossing his clothes off in the streets on the way there.
"Juvia knitted you a scarf!" the bluenette said eagerly.
"I don't need it," Gray said lamely.
"It's going to start getting colder soon!" she insisted.
"I'm an ice mage. I'm fine with the cold," he said indifferently.
Gray started to walk away, but stopped upon hearing Juvia's voice.
"Today...is our anniversary."
"Anniversary?"
"That's right!" Juvia said. "This is the 413th day Juvia and Gray have been in the same vicinity."
"I've never heard of anyone celebrating such a totally random, meaningless anniversary like that before," he replied with a slightly cold undertone.
"It doesn't matter what it is as long as you are happy!" Juvia replied brightly.
Gray turned away. "Sorry, I'll see you some other time." He quickly dismissed her, leaving the scarf forgotten in the street.
"I can't let her get close to me," Gray mumbled to himself. Everyone he loved died: his parents, his entire city, and Ur. He sighed. It was Ur's death anniversary. He was a magnet of death, and he couldn't harm Juvia, or risk her getting close and him being hurt again.
He stopped in his tracks. Snow started falling. A memory of Ur wrapping a scarf around him in the snow surfaced to his mind.
Gray ran back the way he came. He fell to his knees and started digging through the snow, searching for the scarf Juvia made for him.
He finally found it and wrapped it around his neck. Maybe warmth wasn't so bad after all.
Gray breathed heavily as he ran. The guilt of how he treated her all this time weighed heavily on him. He needed to tell her everything, he needed to ask her forgiveness.
What's the worst that could happen? Juvia was fine last night, and she'll be fine this morning. Even though Gray would never admit it, Gray was a lot more concerned with Juvia waking up without him being the first face she saw. Inexplicably, and no matter how unreasonable it sounded, he wanted to be the first person she saw, the first person to embrace her, and tell her how he felt. Their reunion was a scene Gray played out several times in his head, and he would be damned if it played out any other way in real life.
Raindrops plopped down on his skin, gradually increasing in frequency as Gray got closer to the guild. He frowned in annoyance. The chill from the rain wasn't what was bothering him, but that it made the streets and cobblestones more slippery.
When he arrived, Gray looked around at the guild hall. Something was amiss. The usual occupants weren't present: Lucy, Natsu, Gajeel, Wendy, Mirajane, Cana, and Erza.
A commotion coming from the infirmary caught his attention and he bolted through. Everyone he noticed missing from the guild hall was standing in the infirmary room, crowded around Juvia's bed, solemn and worried looks on their faces.
He froze, did something happen to Juvia while he was gone?
A few people moved out of the way to give him a clear view of the bed and the girl on it.
Juvia.
Gray breathed again and stumbled forward incredulously. Juvia was sitting upright, her hands neatly folded in her lap, the sickly pallor of her skin gone. Gray pressed his hands down on the mattress and leaned forward, relieved that she was okay.
"Juvia," he breathed her name.
Juvia stared blankly back at him, an unfamiliar expression on her face. Her next words almost made his heart stop.
"Does Juvia know you?"