Chapter 1

I was lying in bed. It felt so real, yet I was sure it wasn't reality. I got up out of bed. My head was dizzy and I looked out of the window to see it was still night-time. I looked next to me and saw Dimitri. He was so hot when he had drool coming out of the corner of his mouth.
"God I'm so hungry" I thought.
I sleepily trudged down the stairs and went to the cabinet to get a box of doughnuts. Ohhhhh they were like heavenly circles of chocolaty glazed bliss.

I had eaten the whole box when suddenly I heard a knocking at the door.
"For Christ sakes who is that?" this better not be one of those creepy foreigners trying to sell me cheap crap.
I opened the door and yelled

"I don't wanna buy your crap. Just fu-" and then I couldn't speak.

Adrian, soaking wet from the rain was on his knees crying, with blood pouring down his face and you could see where he had raked his fingers across his face. God this is fucked up.
"Why Rose...What did I do wrong?" he whimpered. He looked so vulnerable.
"I-"
"WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO YOU ROSE? "
"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God." Maybe if I said it enough times God would appear and make him go away.

He started crawling in the front door and by this point I was hyperventilating.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" I screamed. I slammed the door, hearing a moment of silence.
Then finally I heard a dull thump where I was sure he had fallen. I looked out the window by the front door. Yep. He had fallen face down in the gravel, a pool of blood around his head. I couldn't look at this. I wouldn't look at this. I still hadn't decided whether this was a dream or not, but it seemed pretty frickin real to me. Only one way to find out…
I turned around and screamed the house down.

And my eyes opened to meet a pair of frantic looking brown ones….
"Rose. Rose! Roza!"
"What the hell…"I was completely lost for words.
Then I did something I never do. I cried.
"Shhhhhh. Stop. Roza calm down" Dimitri's face look scared.
He wrapped his arms around me, trying desperately to calm me down. He was so warm and I just wanted to sink into his arms. But no. I had to fight it. I wrestled out of his warm grip and threw open the bedroom door.

"Rose, wait…." I ignored him and ran into the kitchen, flung open the back door and fell to the ground in relief when I didn't see a crippled Adrian on my doorstep.
"Oh thank god…."I whispered
Dimitri was rushing down the stairs, and the look of pain on his face made me feel guilty for freaking out.
"Oh my god …roza tell me. What happened?" he ran his fingers through his dark hair, obviously distressed. Wow. The perfect Dimitri, always the picture of calm reduced to this.
"Dimitri, I dreamed of Adrian last night" The look of pain on his face was unbearable. "No, no, no not like that. He was awful. crying at the doorstep, just whispering "Why, why, why." he was covered in blood."
"Roza, calm down."
"No, you don't understand. I did that to him. He hates me and it's my entire fault. I can't-"
"Roza, are you sure you made the right choice? You've been crying over Adrian all week. I've never seen you like this"
"Of course I have! Don't you ever speak like that again Dimitri Belikov!"
"Look rose-"
"Stop. Look. It was just a stupid dream. I'm sorry for crying over Adrian, but you have to understand. I'm not crying for him. I'm crying for what I did to him. Please, let's just leave it. " He let it drop, but you could tell by his face he was far from done with this. Then, the doorbell rang. My heart was beating overtime, and I thought I might have a heart attack...

I opened the door slowly…It was Christian and Lissa at the door. I let out a breath of relief.
"Heya Rosie! How ya doin!" he held his hand for a high five. Lissa shook her head. I didn't high five him.
Christians face looked sad "Aww come on Rosie, don't leave me hangin!"
"Hey not a good time pyro!" I put on my best pissed of face.
"Hey, be nice Rosie! if your not careful im gonna have to give you a hug!"
"And if you're not careful, someone's gonna have no balls!" I gave him my sweetest grin, and watched him squirm. He actually backed away as if I would damage his parts. Actually, thinking about it that was a smart move from him, as it seemed like something I would do!

Suddenly Dimitri spoke.
"Be nice to Rose Christian. She had a bad dream" He said calmly. Christian found this hilarious. So immature.
"Aww, did iccle Rosie have a nightmare?"
"Shut it flame boy! I am your worst nightmare" I growled.
Dimitri stepped forwards, as though knew this could get nasty and said hastily

"Why don't you and lissa come in?" Lissa looked relieved and shot me an apologetic look, probably for her boyfriend's sake.

I heard little footsteps pounding down the stairs. Alice and James. Yes, I know your probably wondering why can have kids. It's because I'm shadow-kissed. The only reason I say am instead of used to be, is because me and Lissa finally worked out how to communicate again. And this time its two way! Which works nicely when you don't want to waste your breath.

James had been my first born child. He looked like Dimitri in so many ways, with his dark hair and tanned skin. He was calm and brave, just like his father.
Alice was only was already beautiful, and had dark waves that fell down her back, almost down to her waist, and had eyes like honey. She also had the attitude to go with it. Just the other day she was suspended for telling the teacher at st Vladimir's she should go to hell for wearing real fur.
God was I proud of her. Dimitri however, wasn't.
"How could you get suspended Alice? You have to respect your elders!" Dimitri said.
The problem was he said that at exactly the same time I said

"You go girl!" Alice grinned at me for that. Dimitri wore a look of disapproval at this and shook his head. He knew me well enough by now that he knew not to start anything with me. Unless it was sex of course.

Alice ran up to Christian with a look of joy on her face you only saw in a child.
"Uncle Chrissie!" she cried and wrapped her small arms around his legs. James who was more mature and said

"Nice to see you Uncle Christian"
I don't get what the big fuss was. We saw Lissa and Christian practically every day. They only lived next door, so me and Dimitri could do our jobs as guardians while being together.

"So Rosie, where's breakfast? Im starving" Christian was always hungry.
"You won't be getting any god damn breakfast the way you're going!" I said menacingly.
"Aww rose you know you love me really!" he bent down and kissed me on the nose.
"Blech...idiot spit. I don't wanna catch the dumbass"
Christian pouted his bottom lip and pretended to be hurt. I didn't buy it.
"Now, if you don't mind, I am going in the next room to talk to Lissa"
Lissa followed me into the next room.

"So my queen, how's it going?" Lissa had taken time off away from court for a few weeks.
"Urghh...I swear I will never get used to that...Now are you going to tell me what this dream was about?" Shit. I knew she'd bring this up
"It was nothing..."
"Don't lie to me rose"
"Oh, alright. Adrian turned up at my door"
"He did WHAT? In real life?"
"No Liss in the dream. God your sooo blonde sometimes" She ignored my blonde comment
"So?"

"So what?"

"So, what happened?"
"Adrian came to my doorstep, in the dream, and started saying "Why, why, why?" God Liss the guilt is eating me alive. I haven't spoken to him in about a year. I don't even know if he's okay after what I did to him."

"Um rose…there's something you should know..."
"What liss?" I prepared myself for the worst.
"Ummm maybe I shouldn't tell you this…"
"Lissa you tell me now or so help me I will go into your mind and find it my-"
"Ok, ok. Well the thing is…I saw Adrian."
"You what?"
"He was by the side of the road, totally wacked. He was sitting in a cop car. I don't think he even saw me he was so out of it. I probably should have told you sooner."
Uh….yeah .No shit.

"God this is my fault. I should go and see him."
"Whatever you think is best rose. But I wouldn't tell Dimitri if I were you." Lissa said as she put reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"Don't worry I'm not stupid! God knows what that would do to him" And with that I walked back into the living room.

It was a happy picture. Alice was hanging upside down of Christian, screaming happily. James was sitting next to Dimitri watching something on the TV with his father. I think it looked a bit like football. Wait, football?
"Heya comrade! Since when did you like football?" I said with a grin.
"Since James started watching it" he replied.
"Hey I'm not complaining! It's nice to see you two hanging out together"
Dimitri dragged me onto his lap and looked into my eyes for a few seconds.
He kissed me on the lips.
"Hey guys can we keep it PG?" said James. We broke apart embarrassed. He kept me on his lap a few more seconds and then pushed my head down so he could see the TV.
"Hey! You like watching David beckham more than me?"
He laughed that low laugh I loved to hear. I sighed. I just had a great idea. Dimitri was distracted. Now was the perfect time to see Adrian.

I hopped up off his lap.
"Hey where are you going?" He looked worried. "You know I was joking right?"
"Hahaha yeah. I was just gonna go out and get some doughnuts."
"I swear we had loads," he said suspiciously
"Uhhh no I ate them all…"
Ok now I had to not look him in the eyes. My eyes always gave it away. I picked up the car keys and slammed the door shut. I let out a breath as I got outside, and jumped in the old blue Honda we had, mostly covered in my bumper stickers.

When I was on the road I pulled out the sheet of paper with Adrian's address on it. Lissa had given it to me. She had spoken to Adrian in a dream, and he had given it to her because he was drunk.
35 clove st
Chicago.
Let's just say it was a good thing I had a sat nav.