'Orihime! Long time no see!' Renji waved to the girl, and dumped Ichigo's body on Ikkaku, who swore a few times and nearly dropped him.
'Important as your conversation undoubtedly is, could you have it outside? You're attracting a lot of attention, Abarai-fukutaichou.' Coming from Hitsugaya-taichou, it wasn't a suggestion.
Renji nodded, but he was dragged outside by her faster than he thought humans could move. 'Abarai-kun, please be careful!' Orihime was warning him quite insistently.
'What is it? A hollow?' Renji looked around. He couldn't sense anything, but he was pretty terrible at sensing, not that he'd ever admit to it.
'No, no. Nothing like that. Just-'
'What are you doing with Orihime you tattooed freak?' An aggressive voice and a small body intruded between Renji and the human girl he'd been talking to and a sharp, pointy finger prodded his shoulder rather hard. That was annoying.
'I was just talking to her!' Renji rubbed his shoulder. 'She always like this, Orihime?'
'Be.' Poke. 'More.' Another poke. 'Polite.' A final poke, more like a punch actually. 'And she can hear you, you idiot!'
'Wasn't talking to you, moron.'
'Oi!' A proper punch this time.
'It's okay, Tatsuki-chan. Arisawa Tatsuki, this is Abarai Renji. He's new to the school.' Orihime introduced them with a nervous giggle.
'So, Tatsuki, huh? Nice to meet ya.' Renji grinned. It was not a nice type of grin. More like an 'I'm-going-to-show-you-all-my-teeth' kind of grin.
'Arisawa-san to you, you loser. What the hell were you talking to Orihime about?' Tatsuki had her hands on her hips and was still glaring at him.
'None of your goddam business, you nosy bitch!' Renji retorted.
'Who're you calling a nosy bitch!' Tatsuki yelled, not unexpectedly. And the punch wasn't unexpected either. What was unexpected was the force behind the punch. For such a small girl, she had a lot of weight behind it.
'That's what you get for messing with a black-belt.' Tatsuki crowed over Renji who was sitting on the floor, rubbing the side of his head.
He grinned at her, and swept his legs under hers to trip her up. She hadn't been expecting it and ended up on the floor along with him.
'And that's what you get for messing with Abarai Renji.' Renji grinned, stood up and dusted himself off. 'See ya later, Orihime. I'll have to find you when the little dragon isn't around, got some things I wanna ask you about.'
Renji felt something come flying at him from behind and dodged to the side a second before Tatsuki's leg would have impacted on his head. She herself went flying past him and into the wall. 'Don't you go anywhere near Orihime you weirdo! You'll pay if you do!'
'Yeah, yeah. I get it, whatever.' Renji waved at Orihime and walked back to Ikkaku, who was still carrying Ichigo's technically dead body. 'Here, give him to me.'
Ikkaku practically threw the corpse at him; Renji tossed him over his shoulder and tried to find Ichigo's-and Rukia's-reiatsu. He'd just made it to the door when a powerful kick landed on the back of his head, sending him headfirst into it.
'That's for dodging the first one. See ya round, Abarai. And remember, don't touch Orihime.' It was the psycho bitch, Tatsuki, and she practically growled at him, thumping his head into the door again while Ikkaku and Matsumoto were howling with laughter. Even Hitsugaya-taichou had a smirk on his face.
Renji turned, about to smack the bitch a good one, but she smiled at him sweetly (too sweetly) and patted his head. 'See ya round Abarai Renji.' And Renji couldn't do anything, because Yumichika reminded him Ichigo wouldn't be very happy if his body was left lying on the floor of the corridor, or if he beat up the girl who, Orihime-chan had told him, was one of his oldest and best friends.
He picked up Ichigo's body, threw one last glare at a smirking dragon-bitch, and walked, with as much dignity as he could manage, through the door, ignoring the dent his head had made in it.
A/N: Slight AU, but I hope I got the personalities right. Concrit is love and I don't own anything