Title: Blue Sky
Author: JadeHeart
Fandom: Shigofumi: Letters from the Departed (anime)
Rating: Teen
Warnings: none
Summary: Fumika wants to understand Shouta's feelings.
Author's Note: This is small follow-on from the events of Episode 1.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or concept of the story, they belong to the creator of 'Shigofumi', nor am I making any profits from it.
-o0o-
There was light all around him when only a moment before there had been nothing but darkness. The light around him was bright, yet not enough to blind him, more like the sunlight of truly bright summer day when he would turn his gaze skyward.
Shouta looked around him, but could discern nothing separately. He was vertical but he could feel nothing substantial under his feet yet this didn't perturb him for some reason. He didn't feel that he was going to fall. In fact he felt completely calm and steady.
His hand rose to lay upon his chest. The pain was gone also, just like the darkness, gone in an instant.
"Do you remember?" a quiet voice said at his side.
He turned his head to the left to see the strange postal worker, Fumika. They stood shoulder to shoulder, she facing in the opposite direction to him. She wasn't looking at him, only staring directly before her.
"Remember?" he queried, a portion of his mind still pondering how he seemed to be standing on nothing, weightless. Various calculations were running through his mind trying to determine what could be the reason and how he could apply that to his rocket.
"Do you remember what happened to you?" Fumika asked again, just as softly.
"Ah," Shouta's eyes widen as memory flooded back, his hand clenching for a moment, crumpling the material of the front of his school blazer.
"Are you angry?" she asked.
Shouta looked downwards, his hand slowly releasing its grip. "It doesn't hurt anymore." His hand dropped to his side as he raised his head, looking directly upwards. "Then I'm dead?"
"Yes," Fumika confirmed.
"Heh," Shouta half-laughed. "I thought so."
"Are you angry?" Fumika questioned again, her voice expressing no particular emotion.
Shouta was silent for a moment, just looking upwards. There was nothing to obstruct his view, there was only the light. "I guess. A little."
"What are you angry about?"
"Lots of things."
"What?" Fumika persisted.
"I'm a little angry that Ayase couldn't just trust me. I know I said I didn't believe she did it, but even if she had told me it was true I still would have stayed by her."
"Is that all?"
"I'm angry at myself for not trying to find out more about her earlier. Before it had all happened. Perhaps that might have stopped her from doing it. Perhaps we could have stopped all the bad things from happening to her anymore. Perhaps I could have saved her."
"Nothing else?"
Shouta dropped his head, closing his eyes for a moment as he gave a soft laugh. "I'm angry that I never got to see if my rocket really worked. I spent so much time on it and I was sure that I had got it right this time, I'm positive." He looked skyward again, a smile on his face. "I really wanted to see it fly."
"Do you not hate her?"
"Hmm?" Shouta pulled his gaze from above to look at Fumika again. This time she was looking directly at him. "Ayase?" He tilted his head to one side as he thought for a moment then shook his head. "No, I guess not."
"She killed you. Even though you tried to help her. Even though you had told her you loved her. She stole your future from you. Does that not make you hate her?"
Shouta winced a little at Fumika's harsh words, even though they were said softly and evenly.
"I feel sorry about all that," he answered. "I feel sorry that I can't go to university and learn more about astrophysics. I'm sorry that I won't get the chance to one day be a part of building a real rocket. I'm sorry to be missing all that." He gazed upwards again. "But I'm not sorry I met Ayase because it was the first time I had fallen in love. And it was the first time I had met someone who said they believed in me and my rocket. She was the reason I kept on going, working so hard to make it work." He was silent for a moment and then quietly said, "What I'm really sorry about is that we couldn't have watched that rocket together like we had promised."
"You can if you wish to," Fumika said.
"Huh?" Shouta looked at her again, only this time she was once more facing forward, not looking at him.
"You can witness if your rocket works."
Shouta stared at her in surprise. "I can? How?"
"I can show you. Would you like to see?"
"Yes, yes!" Shouta clenched both hands in earnest. "Please let me see!"
"Very well."
Fumika raised Kanaka and the light seem to coalesce into a fine mist, swirling around Shouta's legs, gathering around them both. He stood in confusion, not knowing what was happening or what was likely to happen.
"Look down," Fumika instructed quietly.
Shouta gazed at his feet and below he began to make out a picture. "Hey!" he exclaimed excitedly. "It's my lab! There's my rocket! It's still there!" He gazed upon it, a broad smile on his face.
Suddenly he saw a figure run across the roof top towards the rocket. Who is that? He leant forward, puzzled then jerked in surprise.
"It's Ayase!" he pointed downward, turning to look at Fumika. "Look, it's Ayase! I didn't recognise her at all. She's cut all her hair off." He turned to watch the scene below him. "She looks really good. It suits her, you know."
He watched a moment longer as Ayase began moving things and realised what she was intending. "She's going to fire my rocket!" he said excitedly, leaning further forward, hands resting on his knees. "She's come to fire my rocket!"
Shouta watched as Ayase removed the tarp from his rocket, and felt a warmth seep through him as she wrote his name on the rocket next to her sister's and hers. He reached up scrub away the moisture building at the corner of his eye.
"Is that significant?" Fumika questioned. "Your name?"
Shouta looked up her where she now stood next to him, looking downwards also. He smiled and nodded. "Yep. She's saying she wants all of us to be together, all the important people to her." He looked back down. "That's exactly the same reason I put those names on it too."
Shouta was then transfixed as he watched Ayase finish the preparations, following the instructions he had painstakingly written out in his notebook, step by step. He found himself nodding in approval as she completed each facet exactly as he had intended. "I always knew she was clever. I knew she would be able to understand what I was doing."
He was squatting down now, hands resting on his raised knees. He watched Ayase begin the countdown, anticipation building. His hands clenched into fists. Come on, he chanted silently, trying to project his wishes into the rocket. Come on, you can fly!
He saw Ayase move, drawing his focus from the rocket. Now he noticed the man also on the rooftop and recognised one of the policemen from before. He could see that the man was saying something but he couldn't hear anything. Suddenly the discarded tarp lifted and tangled over the rocket, obviously picked up by the wind.
Oh no! Shouta thought in dismay. The rocket will never be able to lift off with that extra weight!
The people below him seemed to have frozen in time, the only thing moving was the smoke billowing from under the rocket. Then Ayase rushed towards the rocket. Shouta saw the glint of light off the knife blade and felt a searing pain through his chest at the sight and a stab of fear.
Then he saw Ayase slash the rope holding the tarp in place, saw it lift in the wind and be carried completely clear of the rocket, saw Ayase jerk and fall, saw the smoke increase around the rocket's base, saw the clamps fall away, saw the darkening patch bloom on Ayase's clothes, saw the rocket lift, rise into the sky, climbing, saw the glistening liquid begin to pool around Ayase's fallen figure, saw the rocket clear the rooftop completely, the sun shining blindingly from its polished surface as it continued its journey, driving towards the sun, slashing through the blue sky and clouds, not stopping, not stopping once, just going on and on and on.
Saw Ayase's smile.
The scene faded away, swallowed by the light again. Shouta remained where he was hunkered down. A drop of moisture landed on the back of one hand on his knee. Then he slowly stood.
"Are you sorry?"
Shouta looked at her and smiled, shaking his head. "No," he said, his voice full of conviction. "I'm happy!" He looked down once more though there was nothing to see any longer but in his mind he could still see his rocket blazing through the brilliant blue sky and the beautiful smile of Ayase as she watched it climb, a smile full of joy and happiness that matched his own.
"We did it," he said quietly in a pleased voice. "We did it together just as we said we would."
"I see," Fumika said.
Shouta's form began to shimmer, glow and then slowly broke into thousands of tiny motes of light that lifted upwards. As they rose, the light that was around them slowly disappeared also. Fumika stood alone on the low hill with the single tree behind, Kanaka by her side.
"So he's gone now?" Kanaka asked.
"Yes." Fumika replied. She reached into her bag and took out the next letter. "We have to go," and she reached out to grasp Kanaka's stave and slowly faded from sight.
~End~
