Four's Not A Crowd

Takes Place: between NATSM and NATBM.

…

"I really don't think this is a good idea," murmured Octavius.

Jedediah the cowboy gave him a punch to the shoulder that nearly caused him to fall off the ceiling light. "Then git back on that airplane and fly back down ta yer little city, then, and leave the daredevilin' ta the REAL men!"

The miniature Roman scowled. "First of all, "daredeviling" isn't a real word. And secondly, Hilda's not a man."

"I'm more of a man than you!" hooted Hilda, nudging Octavius with the butt of her axe. The axe that Jed had somehow managed to persuade both his blacksmith to make and Larry to let her keep. She also had a sword on her belt, a shield on her back, and a gun in a holster strapped to her leg. She was more weaponised than both Jed and Octavius put together. "Are you in or are you out?"

Octavius grimaced. "You can't even be certain you'll catch one."

"Oh, we KNOW we'll catch one," grinned Jed. "Hilda's an expert wrangler, ain't ya?"

"I wrangled you two as my friends!" Hilda responded cheerfully.

The Roman general raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're not a cowgirl? You act like one."

"That's mah sister's influence," Jed chortled. "We need 'nother buddy ta even out th' daredevils and th' wimps."

"I am not a wimp!" Octavius drew himself up haughtily. "I am General Octavius, later known as the first Emperor of-!"

"Yeah, yeah, let's get going," Hilda interrupted, nudging him a little harder with the end of her axe.

Octavius flailed as he lost his balance, but Jed grabbed the front of his tunic and hauled him back onto the ceiling light. "Careful, Hilda," the cowboy warned. "Ain't none of us gonna survive a fall from this height."

"Oh, true." Hilda beamed. "Don't wanna kill my only friends, do I?"

"Only friends?" Jed grinned. "What about Flo?"

"She's awesome, but you guys are my own size," Hilda pointed out. "I kinda feel like you're my brothers. I'd say "the brothers I never had", but I DID have a brother. I guess you ARE the brothers I never had, cuz Bjorn never did this kinda stuff with me."

Jed and Octavius exchanged a glance. "You view us as your brothers?" the latter asked slowly.

Hilda nodded, still beaming. "Yeah! We have all sorts of adventures together!"

The two men gave a synchronised chuckle. "Yeah, we definitely do," Jed agreed. "Now let's git on wit' the next one!"

Hilda cheered, while Octavius groaned, "This is a bad idea!"

"C'mon, what part of lassoing a wild owl and ridin' it through the museum is a bad idea?" Jed grinned.

"Literally everything you just said," Octavius countered.

"It's coming!" Hilda whooped suddenly. "LOOK!"

The two men whirled round to see a snowy white owl flying straight towards them. They ducked but Hilda remained standing and launched herself off the ceiling light as the owl passed. She hit the side of the feathered bird and managed to grab its feathers to stop herself from falling. However, she could feel herself losing her grip.

"Ho!" came a female voice from somewhere above Hilda.

Frowning, the Viking woman looked up and, to her shock, spotted a strangely dressed woman sitting atop the bird. She was wearing just a long skirt and a short top, and she had a bow and a quiver of arrows strapped to her back. She also had weird face paint.

"Who in the name of Odin are you?" Hilda demanded.

Instead of answering, the woman leant down and offered her hand to Hilda, who made a split second decision to reach up and take it, just before she lost her grip. The woman pulled her onto the back of the bird and let out an odd-sounding war cry as she urged the owl into a dive.

"Go back up!" yelled Hilda over the sound of the wind. "Go get my friends!"

At first, it seemed like the woman hadn't heard her. Then, just before they hit the ground, she pulled the owl up into a sharp ascent and flew it back towards the ceiling light. Hilda let out a long holler of delight; this was FUN! She was having FAR more fun here than she ever did alive.

As the bird soared past, Hilda reached out her hand towards the two men on the light. She just managed to see Jed grinning before he ran and leapt off the fixture, landing very similarly to how Hilda did. Luckily, Hilda herself was right there to grab his hand and pull him onto the back of the owl.

"Looks like someone beat us to the wrangling," Hilda bellowed.

"Yeah, clearly," Jed shouted back, grinning. "Come on, Ockie!"

Octavius didn't look sure, now. He waited for the right time, then took a running jump off the ceiling light. However, the owl jerked sharply at just the wrong moment, and the miniature Roman missed his mark.

"OCTAVIUS!" screamed Hilda and Jed in terror.

The woman in front of them hollered another war cry and jerked the owl into another sharp dive. The bird quickly overtook the falling miniature and pulled up just in time for Octavius to fall right onto its feathery back. Jed immediately pounced on his best friend and held him in place until the owl landed on the reception desk and came to a complete stop, such a sudden stop that Hilda and Octavius both fell right off and landed on the desk.

"THAT," breathed Octavius. "WAS WHY. IT WASN'T. A GOOD IDEA. TO WRANLGE. AN OWL."

"Lesson learnt?" Hilda offered weakly, flopping onto her back as she let the adrenaline course out of her body.

"Are ya okay?!" Jed gasped, dropping down next to his best friend.

Octavius glared at him, causing him to take a step back. "Yes, I'm fine. No thanks to you or you crazy plan."

"To be fair, it was MY crazy plan," Hilda said apologetically. "I'm sorry, Ockie."

The general sighed and lay back on the desk. "Just give me a moment to recover."

Suddenly, the woman stepped towards them, a spear in her hand. "You court danger," she said in broken English.

"Hell yeah," Jed grinned, before falling silent at Octavius's look. "Y-Yeah, generally…"

"My name Akna," she said. "You Roman." She jabbed her finger at Octavius, then at Jed. "You American." She turned her gaze on Hilda. "Who you?"

"Viking," offered Hilda. "Norse."

"Vi-king," Akna tried. "Nose?"

"Close enough." Hilda shrugged.

"I know you," Octavius said suddenly, narrowing his eyes. "You are that Mayan princess."

"A Mayan?" Jed yelped, suddenly looking a lot more alert. His hand went to his gun.

"Don't you dare," Hilda snapped at him. "She just saved us, remember?"

The cowboy froze, his hand still on his gun. "Yeah, but Mayans are dangerous."

"I not dangerous," Akna objected. "You dangerous. You invade my lands with fire and blades. We say no. You continue anyway."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Hilda shot a pointed glare at the men.

"Then why'd ya save us?" demanded Jed. "If ya hate us so much, why'd ya save us?"

"Because you two good leaders," Akna replied, jabbing her finger at Jed and Octavius again in turn. "I respect good leaders."

"I'm sure you're a good leader too," Hilda said, beaming, as she jumped to her feet and held out her hand. "I'm Brynhild Kettilsdotir, but you can call me Hilda."

Akna eyed the hand, before shaking it warily. "Is this Vi-king custom?"

"Not just Vikings," replied Hilda. "Everyone does it."

"I am everyone," Akna retorted. "And I do not do this."

Hilda fell silent, considering this. "Hey, can you take us for a ride on the owl?"

"Speak for yourself," Octavius muttered.

"Can you take ME for a ride on the owl?" Hilda amended, looking pleadingly at Akna. "You fly really well! I'd love to learn from you."

"She's not gonna-," Jed began.

"Learning good," Akna said at the same time. "Teaching better. I teach."

Hilda beamed and turned to smirk at Jed, who scowled back. "I wanna come too," the cowboy said. "How 'bout you, Ockie? There ain't gonna be no fallin' this time."

Octavius sighed and rolled his eyes. "Of course. Someone has to keep you lot in line."

"General Octavius." Akna stood up straighter. "And Sheriff Jedediah. It will be honour for me."

The two men glanced at each other, then Jed smirked again. "See, it's an honour. Now ya gotta do it."

Slinging her spear onto her back, Akna climbed onto the back of the owl and jerked with her head. "Climb. We fly."

"Sounds good to me," Hilda grinned.