How to Lose a Guy in a Week
Lily sat in her muggle home wearily. She was doodling in her notebook, during the summer holidays, while waiting for her English tutor to arrive.
Lily's parents had allowed her to attend Hogwarts on one condition: that she keeps track of muggle subjects such as maths, history and geography during the holidays. When she transferred to that magical academy she had graduated from muggle 6th grade. They didn't want her mind and skills to be at that level when it comes to these subjects forever. She was forced to 'catch up' with tutors' aid.
After the arrival of Ms. Smith her tutor, Lily had sat there being lectured on writing book reviews and report composition for half an hour. As if she wasn't already capable of writing them.
"Ok now your homework assignment is to," began her tutor "write a report entitled: How to Lose a Guy in a Week. Listen to these instructions carefully. You are to attract a boy and then do everything imaginable to make him dislike you; a 'what not to do to with your boyfriend' lesson for spinsters. He should dump you out of his own free will in a week's time or less. That's when I expect the report posted to me, pronto. Any questions?"
"Yes. Can I not do that tedious composition? School starts tomorrow," Lily complained "I'm a seventh year now and so I have a huge workload. In addition to that I have Head Girl duties. I'm sorry; I simply can't handle any extra task that's not even school related."
The teacher maintained a deadpanned expression for a few seconds. Lily thought she was standing up to depart. Instead, however, she took a breath and yelled.
"Mrs. Evans?"
Her mother was summoned to the call. Lily groaned.
"Your daughter has no wish to oblige her duty."
Mrs. Evans shot Lily a penetrating look.
"No homework…" she said bluntly "No Hogwarts."
Lily screamed exasperatedly.
"Fine! Fine! As futile as it is, I'll do it!" She glared at the teacher "when's it due, precisely?"
"Next Saturday. Goodbye."
After receiving her paycheck and leaving, Lily cheered. No more tutors until Christmas!
Two days later in Hogwarts, after attending a Prefect meeting, Lily beckoned to Natalie, her best friend, towards her.
Lily explained the 'tedious' work she had to do.
"And on top of that… I have to slowly break the boy's heart."
"You have to date and get dumped?" Natalie echoed, suppressing a smirk "why don't you go for James then? He'd finally cease badgering you when you drive him insane."
Lily's face brightened up.
"Oh Nat, you genius!" She squealed, squeezing her friend "That's an excellent idea! Potter, you're going to regret ever asking me out! 'Coz I shall finally go out with you!"
Lily walked down the halls in search of her potential boyfriend. She found him scolding a Prefect who had apparently attempted wrapping her arms around him.
"Must be the Potter charm then?" She said sarcastically, approaching them "Is that what attracts girls to you?"
James was taken aback. Lily had never genuinely spoken to him unless she was shouting, rejecting him or addressing him as fellow Head Boy during meetings. Then again, she was sarcastic.
"Attracts all except one girl," he said, grinning sadly at her.
"Until now," she added, and grimacing- she pecked him on the cheek.
James whooped in the air.
"Lily! You're finally mine!" He yelled excitedly, like a kid receiving his first Play Station 2 on their birthday.
"After two tormenting years we're finally going to be an item!" He twirled her and then out of pure joy hugged Sandra, the prefect he'd been scolding. "This is a dream come true!"
"Yeah, join me for breakfast tomorrow. I've decided to yield to your persuasions. 5.30am sharp." Lily stated, as Sandra walked off "Consider it a warm-up date, so don't be late!"
He calmed down. "Trust me, my beautiful Lily, you won't regret this. I'll loyally stick by you through thick and thin, until marriage officially brings us together."
"The phrase is, 'until death does us apart' and it's a wedding vow…" Lily said testily. "I've only agreed to see you, not marry you for Pete's sake. Chill."
"In that case," he said, going down on his knees "Lily my flower, I may not have a ring at the moment, but will you do me the honor of becoming my bride?"
"You said I won't regret this!" Lily replied icily.
James got up and apologized ferociously.
Lily, realizing that she needed to give him a genuine motive to stick by him for an entire week, pulled him into a Goodnight Kiss.
He watched, dazzled, as she pulled away and walked slowly into the direction of her dorm. He waited until she had disappeared before performing the Tango.
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