A/N: I have two stories on the go right now, but I had to do this oneshot because the plot bunnies wouldn't leave me alone. Blame it on the awesomeness that is "Personal Foul." A fantastic episode that finally gave us the long-overdue closure to Danny/Rikki. Now he and Lindsay can start to rebuild their relationship. This oneshot is based on the final DL scene in the episode. Anyways, enough of my rambling. Major kudos to Bo for help and ideas. Enjoy!
All mistakes are mine.
Spoilers: 4x19, "Personal Foul"
Rating: K
Songs Used (in order of appearance):
-"Dare You To Move" Switchfoot
-"What Hurts The Most" Rascal Flatts
-"Shape of My Heart" Backstreet Boys
-"Bless the Broken Road" Rascal Flatts
-"I'm Movin' On" Rascal Flatts
It's a Montana Thing
Maybe redemption has stories to tell. Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell. Where can you run to escape from yourself?
"I miss you more than I can say. Even if I don't know how to say it."
Danny's words echoed in Lindsay's mind as she traveled down the sidewalk, a solemn figure cast against the darkened sky, which presented its fury in the form of thunder, lightning, and rain. The drops cascaded down from the heavens, drenching everyone and everything in their paths. Lindsay didn't mind it; after all, it was a Montana thing. Back home she would take long walks in the rain. There was something almost mysterious about it and she found it rather soothing, like there wasn't a single worry on her shoulders. Except this time, she felt as if the entire world had been placed there.
It had been a few minutes since she had gotten off the phone with Danny, who had asked her to stop by his apartment so they could talk about things. Half of Lindsay's heart tugged the opposite way, while the other urged her to see him. Rivulets of rainwater streamed down her cheeks, running along her jaw line and dripping from her chin as she struggled to decide what part of her conscience she should obey. Thunder cracked in the sky and lightning illuminated the angry clouds, and nearby pedestrians scrambled for cover. Lindsay was in no hurry, however, and she continued at her steady pace.
Maybe she should drop by. What harm would it do? He wanted to talk, and it was better to talk about a problem rather than keep it stored away. She felt a desire to discuss the issue, but now didn't seem like the proper time. Things were happening all so fast, and she wanted to get a handle on them before they spiraled out of control. But her heart was more powerful than her mind, and she desperately wished to see him again. For a split second Lindsay felt like she was doing all the pushing. He had literally offered her the chance to talk on a platter and was waiting for her to take advantage of it. A small voice told her to do it.
Releasing a great sigh, Lindsay turned around and headed towards Danny's building.
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me.
Clad in a wife beater and sweats, Danny listened to the raging storm outside, toying with the baby blue pamphlet he held in his hands. It was Ruben's funeral program, a grim reminder of the burden Danny had placed on himself. Only a few minutes before Rikki had come to say goodbye; she was moving, away from the city and tragic memories it held for her. Danny was sad to see her go, but in reality he knew it was for the best. He had said it himself: what they had done was bad. Of course he meant to say "stupid" or "morally wrong", but her sudden confession surprised him so much that that was the only word he could think of. With Rikki out of the picture, he could focus on getting back on track with Lindsay.
Lindsay. Even through all his mess, her name still sent shivers down his spine. She had that effect on him, always did. He couldn't explain it, but he loved the way she made him feel even when she wasn't with him. He had screwed up big time, but he was willing to prove himself worthy to her. Whatever he had to do, he would do it. He loved her; he just couldn't say it yet.
The phone call was imprinted on his brain like an iron. This was the second time she had said "love", something he took careful note of. She felt alone, just like him. Now that he thought about it, the night with Rikki had never left him feeling more empty or helpless in all his life. That night, he truly felt alone.
Chancing a peek outside, Danny decided that if Lindsay wasn't going to come to him, then he'd just go to her. Throwing on a sweater and snatching a coat from the closet, he padded out of his apartment, hot determination brewing in his metallic eyes.
Sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical. So help me, I can't win this war.
Standing on the other side of the street, Lindsay strained her neck back and looked up. Danny's apartment was near the top, and she took a deep breath before placing one foot on the slick road.
She heard the door creak open even from her position. She stood there frozen, rainwater sloshing against the foot on the pavement and gaze widened at him. For a moment they watched each other before realizing it was still raining. Danny bolted from the front steps and, swiftly looking both ways, crossed the street and stood before her. He was already soaked from head to toe, and his hair was flat against his head. Even his eyelashes were beaded with water.
He scanned her with a swift glance, ignoring the rain. "Why are you still outside?"
"I told you, it's a rain walk."
He lifted an eyebrow. "So you still think I don't understand?"
"Danny…" she started.
"Sure is nice, being out in all this rain. Thought I'd come an' see what all the hype is about. Seems peaceful enough, though we might catch a chill. C'mon inside, we'll get you into some dry clothes." He made to turn but halted at her voice.
"You do realize I chose to do this, right?"
He shifted his body so he was once again standing parallel to her. "Look, I understand if you don't want to talk, okay? But at least get out of this storm. Please?"
What remained of Lindsay's heart melted into a puddle in her chest. There was that word again, drawn out in his gorgeous Staten Island accent. Instinctively she shivered, and without a moment's hesitation Danny threw off his jacket and gently tossed it over her shoulders. As he was doing so, Lindsay recognized it as the one he always wore in winter. The inside was insulated and waterproof, and though she was still wet she immediately felt better.
Hiding a smile, she looked at him curiously. "Do you really want to talk here?"
His teeth chattered loudly as he replied, "I don't care, as long as it happens."
A massive crack of thunder shook the sky, and Lindsay jumped in shock. Grabbing her hand, Danny raced across the road and back into the apartment building where it was safe. Lindsay's heartbeat reverberated in her temple as she peered out through the door windows at the still-powerful rain.
"Maybe we should go upstairs."
Every long lost dream led me to where you are.
The stairwell ascent was awkward to say the least. Both were freezing and desperate for clothes that didn't stick to their clammy skin. Without any words they padded softly along the hallway, feet squishing on the carpet from all the water. Danny took out his keys, unlocked the door, and ushered Lindsay inside.
Many a memory came back to her then, and for a second her stomach performed a sickening cartwheel. Her gaze cast over the pool table. Legs seemingly having a mind of their own, she strode over to it, running her fingers along the rails and across the velvet. Closing her chocolate eyes, she recalled that night like it occurred five minutes ago. The way he touched her, his lips against her skin…it made her feel alive. She remembered waking up in his embrace, the warmth of his body next to hers. She had never felt more at ease. But it was all a memory now, and deep down Lindsay hoped it would be restored.
"I found some clothes."
Her head whipped up at Danny's voice, bringing her back to reality. He noted where she was standing but said nothing, only walking up and handing her the clothes in a sheepish manner. "They might be a bit big, but it's all I have."
Lindsay managed a chuckle as she held them up against her body. "I'm pretty sure I'll swim in these. Thanks."
Danny nodded. "There's towels and other stuff in there. Help yourself."
A gracious smile spread across her beautiful lips as she made for the bathroom, stealing a glance at him before closing the door softly.
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you. But you just smile and take my hand, you've been there, you understand.
Danny had already changed when Lindsay got out from the bathroom. His hair still a bit damp, it stood up in tiny spikes, and he was wearing another wife beater. Lindsay fought back familiar urges as she entered the main room. Danny took one glance at her and stifled a giggle, trying hard not to burst out laughing. Hands on hips, she glared at him in mock severity.
"What's so funny, Messer?"
"That's very attractive, Miss Monroe."
Lindsay glanced down. Danny's shirt was literally at her knees, and the pants he had given her were completely covering her feet. It was such an amusing sight that Lindsay chuckled at herself. "Well I certainly went swimming, didn't I?"
Though she didn't realize it, Danny was telling the truth; the sight of her in his clothes was quite arousing. He mentally cursed himself for even thinking Rikki looked good in one of his shirts. Lindsay looks ten times better…and hotter.
An uneasy silence hung in the apartment, and Danny was the first to break it. He took a breath and sat down on the couch near her. "Lindsay, I can't pretend like I haven't ignored you lately. I feel horrible because I know you were only trying to help me. I've been a fool, and I was wrong to push you away. Maybe I can't take back the things I've done or said, but I can make it so I won't hurt you again. I do miss you, Lindsay. I can take a storm and rain battering my window, hell I can take crying, but not for a second can I swallow the fact of not seeing you. It tears me apart to know that you – us – are like this."
Lindsay leaned against the pool table, drinking in every last one of his words. After a few minutes she spoke. "I know about you and Rikki. The way you were acting and something in my heart told me, and that was enough proof. You have no idea how badly that hurt me, to know that you turned to another woman in your time of need when you could have easily come to your own girlfriend. However, all that is irrelevant now. You admitted your mistake of pushing me away, and I can honestly say that I admire that. It takes guts to fess up to something like that. I want to forgive you, and if you are willing to, we can start to rebuild our relationship."
The air froze in her lungs as he suddenly appeared before her. His chest was almost against hers, and she was reminded of the night they had played pool, except this time it was Danny who had her backed up. While they were talking a strand of hair had fallen from behind her ear, dangling in front of her eyes, teasing him. Reaching up, he tucked it away with gentle fingers, purposely touching her cheek as he did. That single move caused a spark of electricity to jolt through her body. Damn you Messer.
"Of course I want to make this work," he whispered. "I love you." He bent down and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. She was instantly reminded of his sweet taste. She could not, did not want to resist, and her arms innately slid over his neck. His hands rested on her hips as they became consumed in one another. In truth she missed his kisses, his touch, the feeling of being held in his powerful yet kind arms. There was nowhere else she would rather be.
After they had broken apart, Danny rested his forehead against hers. "How do you feel about staying here tonight? It's horrible outside."
Lindsay chuckled softly. "That and I don't really want to take a cab right now."
Danny smiled and, leaning in slightly, kissed the tip of her nose. "I'll make us some hot chocolate."
"I'd like that."
At last I can see, life has been patiently waiting for me.
The storm had decreased to just rain, thought there was still the distant rumble of thunder every now and then. It was nearing 1am and both Danny and Lindsay were exhausted. Their combined personal troubles and the Taxi Cab Killer case had had a profound effect on them, and they were desperate for some sleep. They were so tired, in fact, that they dozed off on the couch together not long after finishing their drinks. Knowing Lindsay was partial to mint, Danny had mixed a small amount in with her hot chocolate. The savoury liquid warmed her veins, and before she knew it her eyelids became heavy and her head lolled to one side. Which happened to be in the crook of Danny's neck.
He lay on his back, right arm draped over her shoulders and thumb lightly tracing over her shoulder blades. Her own arm spread across his chest, clasping his shoulder like she did the first night they were together. Her warm breath tickled his sensitive neck skin, and her heartbeat reverberated in his mind. He was halfway to slumber when she fell victim first, and now he watched her sleep peacefully. They had "accidentally" fallen asleep together, a thought that caused Danny to chuckle to himself. He and Lindsay seemed to have no concept of the term personal space.
She stirred slightly and moaned. His arm immediately tightened around her, and he ran his fingers through her gorgeous hair, whispering to her, "I'm here Lindsay. I have you."
A peaceful sigh escaped her lips, and she ceased moving. Smiling contently, Danny closed his eyes and allowed slumber to completely consume his senses. He understood now, understood her feelings of hurt and confusion. He understood her love for him and how this whole issue was affecting her both mentally and physically. He understood the Montana rain walk, even if she thought he didn't. He understood his mistake and how insanely stupid it was. He understood that he could not go on with his life without her in it.
They weren't at the end of the road yet, but with a little patience and courage, they would reach it one day.
FIN.