A/N: Love this song, love Adam; put two and two together, you get a random oneshot song fic that probably doesn't make sense but I'm posting anyway.:P
P.S.: This is my first non-Eclare fic, so sorry if it sucks.:(
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or Stand. D:
Stand by Rascal Flatts
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
You feel small, like a needle in a haystack. Like a thread in a huge quilt, you just blend in and no one notices you. Yeah, you should be so lucky.
You certainly do feel small, but you can't just blend in. Not when you're like this. Some people won't let you blend in. They point you out, make fun of you, beat you up, basically make your life a living hell.
Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright
Your life has never been normal; you realized that fact early on. But you eventually learned to accept yourself for who you are, so why can't they? Why must they constantly ridicule you, hurt you with their fists and words, and try to force you to be someone that you're clearly not?
Because, they don't care about your happiness. They're animals, come to prey off your fear, your anger, your helplessness. Any kind of negative emotion they can pry out of you. And it sickens you, to the point where you just can't take it anymore.
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You think back to the time you got in a fight at school, because you finally got sick of the crap he gave you. He hits you, you hit him back. You realize that, even though you're a 'girl', as they like to believe, you're just as strong as any of those Neanderthals. Probably stronger, especially emotionally, with having to put up with jerks like him your whole life. But you won't take it anymore. You fight back.
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
They pushed you so far, with the constant teasing and making fun of you, that you just can't take it anymore; you snap. They bent you far, flexing you to your limits, until you just couldn't handle it. You broke.
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
But you're sick of crying. Every time you swear you won't cry anymore tears over them. But this time, you're serious. You've had enough, and now it's time to show them that, even though you're a 'freak', a misfit trying to find your place in life, you sure as hell can throw a punch.
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand
You throw another punch to his gut, causing him to bend over in pain. You smirk, sickly satisfied with the noises he's making. You stand up, brush your hands on your pants, and walk away, leaving him there to suffer, just like he's made you.
Life's like a novel, with the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon, with only one way down
Your life has always been one crazy ride, never knowing what's going to happen next. One bad thing after another, but sometimes, in the midst of it all, you make friends. Friends who really don't care if you're a biological guy or not. They accept you for who you really are, not what part you're born with. Your body may be female, but your mind is 100% male. And they realize that.
They, too, are considered, 'misfits.' One, the Emo boy who drives a hearse, and the other, the Christian nerd girl, who supposedly wore her purity ring to either cover up the fact that she's a closet lesbian, or because she wants to be a nun. That's what people say, and yet, they are unfazed by this.
You try to be like them, strong, taking things in stride, never letting the rumors or the drama get in your way. You try to find love like they did, in each other. But it's hard, when you find a girl you like, and she turns out to be gay, only dating you because you could be considered a girl. Which you're not.
It's not so easy for you, and they understand that. But they can't always be there for you, not when you finally break and decide to give him a taste of his own medicine.
Take what you're given, before it's gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Maybe you should have cherished the times when it didn't matter to you that you were a girl. You didn't care that you had long hair, wore dresses, and played with dolls. Because you were so young, and you couldn't decide for yourself that that was not what you wanted. You didn't know any better, because nothing mattered.
But that time is gone, now. Now, you're made fun of wherever you go, for being 'different'. For trying to be 'someone you're not'.
But that's where they're wrong. You were trying to be someone you're not when you were her, when you had to burn yourself for a release from the reality you lived in, and hated.
But you tell yourself, that one day you're not going to care what anyone says, to try and change you. You tell yourself, 'just a little while longer in this hell hole. You can hang in there for a little bit.' And sometimes, the advice works; you can make it through the day without letting something so simple as a slip of the tongue of someone calling you Gracie set you off.
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
But then you realize, the Christian girl was right, and that violence isn't the answer. Maybe you shouldn't have beaten him up, because you didn't like it when he did that to you. But you can't come to bring yourself to apologize; after all, did he ever apologize? Not once, not even for the name calling, let alone the physical abuse you've endured through him.
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
You decide, you're going to ignore his existence as best you can, though you know it won't be easy. After using him as your personal punching bag, he's going to want revenge. But that's okay, because you can make it through this, somehow. You don't know how, but you will. You always do. Never let it break you.
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
If he tries to call you names, you'll simply shrug him off. If he tries to hit you, you'll use self-defense. But you promise yourself you won't be the one to throw the first punch. After all, that's exactly what he wants.
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand (then you stand)
Yeah, then you stand (then you stand)
So you got ready to face the next day, getting dressed with your usual disgust at having to bind yourself, but that's okay. One day, you will have that six pack. You'll get to work out at the gym wearing shorts and a wife beater, no binding or anything. That's what you tell yourself every morning. It helps, because you know as soon as you're old enough, you'll do it. Your life will become your own, and Gracie will be forever put to rest.
But the fight was months ago, and now you're dealing with other problems.
Every time you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece of you starts to fall into place
You've been knocked down before; not just by him, but by people others wouldn't expect. Your own mother, for example. She always seems to be 'defending her sons,' but she's also part of the reason you started burning. She pushed you to be a girl, and would never listen to your pleas for help. But you know it's not entirely her fault. She just wanted her daughter she knew.
But sometimes, you can't get what you want. You weren't born a guy, like you wanted; you also don't get the girl; and you have to go through high school with a couple friends, a brother who can be considered a man whore, who isn't always quite there for you, but tries to be, and constant bullying.
But that's okay, because every time you fall, you pick yourself right back up, and because of that, you discover you don't need anyone's help, and that you're so much stronger than you believe. You become you, a little more each time.
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You also realize that, even though you resent the people holding you back, they really do help you. They may not realize it, but they help you realize that you can make it through anything, because your walls are strong, and will never completely collapse. Not if you have anything to do with it.
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
But there are also good people in your life: the Emo boy, and the Saint. They really are there with you through everything, even though their constant flirting makes you want to puke.
Like the other night, for example: you got shot, and even though they broke up and are too stupid to realize that they should just get back together, they stayed together in that hospital all night long with you. Of course, they went back to flirting as soon as he realized that she was newly single. And through the pain in your shoulder, you think back to what you said long ago, when they flirted, back during happier times: That's cute.
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
Of course, you're happy for them. You want nothing more than for them to get back together, so the three Misfits can be reunited.
And maybe you could even find love along the way. You know it isn't her fault she's a lesbian; she didn't even know she was when you were dating. But hopefully, you can become friends one day, and maybe even pick up where you left off, even if she likes you for your girl side. Because there's a part of her that also likes you for your guy side, too. You know that's why she stuck with you for so long, and she was in a bad place when you were together. You have hope, that one day, you can just find the right girl for you.
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand
You realize, as you're thinking about this while lying in your hospital bed, that you really can get through anything. Because you're Adam fucking Torres, and you will no longer take crap from anyone. You can get through it.
And while you're lying there, reading the comic book he brought you, you hear giggling and a sarcastic voice over to your left. You turn your head slightly, but not enough to disturb their banter. Finally, after listening to them flirt for a few minutes, you decide to speak up.
"That's cute, you guys. You break up and you still can't resist flirting with each other. Guess it was meant to be," you say sarcastically, making your voice high-pitched and girly towards the end. You laugh at the death glares sent your way, and grin at the blushes on both their cheeks.
Then you realize, your life isn't all that bad. And you really are strong, you just can't let it break you.
Then you stand
Yeah, then you stand
A/N: I literally just finished typing this up, so sorry if it doesn't really make sense. I think you guys can guess who the 'Christian girl, Emo boy, he, and you' are. But in case you can't, he is Fitz, who he got in a fight with, and you is Adam. I felt so bad watching him get shot, and I love Adam to pieces, so I thought this song was pretty darn perfect for him. Sorry for confusion, typos, crappiness. But you can yell at me in a review?:D You know you want to. ;)