Disclaimer… of Diablo 2 does not belong to me… I mean if I owned the game id like have money and then the scripts would be publish fancily and I wouldn't be writing this disclaimer.
The Adventures of Big-Ones…
Chapter 1
Starting out on quest for nothing.
Deep in the jungles, there was a great Amazon warrior. Her name was a spectacular one which fitted her body structure very, very well. It was Big-ones. She had clothing, it was barely clothing though, but it was still clothing. One day she decide to go to Act I. She got on the waypoint (WP) and teleported to the rouge encampments. The rouges were young girls that all looked the same. They also were dressed in small skimpy outfits. So our friend felt very at home with these skimpy dressed well developed young girls.
She went over to an old man named Deckard Cain, he was a horadrim. As Diablo 2 fans know , he is a decent man, I have made some alterations to the ancient "groupie". She asked him what the quest was, however , he just kept talking about the horadrims, that know one cared about, ever.
Suddenly she had a serious urge to kill stuff with her bow. So she ran out into the field… she hit a "black walled"… lag…Ok well anyway she went to the WP and went to the cathedral. She was hoping for a sermon but suddenly burst out and killed stuff. Kill kill kill, she shot so fast it wasn't even possible. The arrows were white… all of a sudden she yelled uncontrollably "I need mana!!!".
Running some more, she got tired, she walk incredibly fast instead. Walking at a jogging pace. *sigh* She saw a chest. Hoping for a Wind force or a eagle horn, bows with incredible stats that wouldn't be possible in real life whatsoever but somehow, existed, she ran to the chest and opened it. Out popped 15 feet in the air a colossus bow… which weigh like so much. Maybe 500 pounds.
"Ah crap I am gonna get my "pet"" She made billybangs carry her bow. Cain IDed it. It was the Super Cruel Colossus Bow of Stuff. Big-ones and her super intelligent self, wondered what the hell stuff was.
Stats-
500% enhanced damage
Animals crawl up pants
Light radius sorta disappears
1000% chance to bring enemy back to life on striking
1%chance to do nothing
50% chance to convert you gender on your birthday
Invincibility only between 5 and 6 on Fridays
And stuff…
Still obviously confused, Big-ones wonder what the hell stuff was. I think we all are biggies.
Cain told her if she did "stuff" with him, he would make it better. She slapped him so hard it made him hurt. Naughty Amazon.
She decided to kill Andariel(again)ent to Catacombs three then four then to "Andy". Seeing she had skimpier "clothing than herself, she killed her and took it. Now she was even less dressed than before. Hehehe thank you God. She looked like a harem girl.
Suddenly MasterMofo entered the world.
"Hi" Big-ones greeted
"Hi" said MasterMofo
"What do you use?"
"Stuff"
"What kind of stuff"
"MasterMofo stuff"
"Are you very bright?"
"NO"
"Show me Your "stuff""
MasterMofo ran over to her and a trade thing appeared he put out a 0 damage ear that said "MasterMofo Stuff"
Big-ones look at him with a blank stare and then shot him, but he was resurrected.
"Damn it Andy is still alive"
Suddenly naked Andy came running on through town. Big-ones saw that she was mad so she gave her "clothing" back. But now she was naked and had no money.
"Do you have any armor I can use?"
"Yes, but its good to be naked"
"Give me the armor"
"Fine then"
He ran to his really small stash which helm more than I should and got to armor. It was Ethereal (un-repairable and Clear). Thankfully to all you perverts, this has been included in my story. This so should have been a feature for Diablo 2.
Suddenly out of the blue, MasterMofo Giggle like a young girl starting a great relationship.
Next Time… MasterMofo and Big-ones journey to find the exclusive crown from Burger King!!
The Adventures of Big-Ones…
Chapter 1
Starting out on quest for nothing.
Deep in the jungles, there was a great Amazon warrior. Her name was a spectacular one which fitted her body structure very, very well. It was Big-ones. She had clothing, it was barely clothing though, but it was still clothing. One day she decide to go to Act I. She got on the waypoint (WP) and teleported to the rouge encampments. The rouges were young girls that all looked the same. They also were dressed in small skimpy outfits. So our friend felt very at home with these skimpy dressed well developed young girls.
She went over to an old man named Deckard Cain, he was a horadrim. As Diablo 2 fans know , he is a decent man, I have made some alterations to the ancient "groupie". She asked him what the quest was, however , he just kept talking about the horadrims, that know one cared about, ever.
Suddenly she had a serious urge to kill stuff with her bow. So she ran out into the field… she hit a "black walled"… lag…Ok well anyway she went to the WP and went to the cathedral. She was hoping for a sermon but suddenly burst out and killed stuff. Kill kill kill, she shot so fast it wasn't even possible. The arrows were white… all of a sudden she yelled uncontrollably "I need mana!!!".
Running some more, she got tired, she walk incredibly fast instead. Walking at a jogging pace. *sigh* She saw a chest. Hoping for a Wind force or a eagle horn, bows with incredible stats that wouldn't be possible in real life whatsoever but somehow, existed, she ran to the chest and opened it. Out popped 15 feet in the air a colossus bow… which weigh like so much. Maybe 500 pounds.
"Ah crap I am gonna get my "pet"" She made billybangs carry her bow. Cain IDed it. It was the Super Cruel Colossus Bow of Stuff. Big-ones and her super intelligent self, wondered what the hell stuff was.
Stats-
500% enhanced damage
Animals crawl up pants
Light radius sorta disappears
1000% chance to bring enemy back to life on striking
1%chance to do nothing
50% chance to convert you gender on your birthday
Invincibility only between 5 and 6 on Fridays
And stuff…
Still obviously confused, Big-ones wonder what the hell stuff was. I think we all are biggies.
Cain told her if she did "stuff" with him, he would make it better. She slapped him so hard it made him hurt. Naughty Amazon.
She decided to kill Andariel(again)ent to Catacombs three then four then to "Andy". Seeing she had skimpier "clothing than herself, she killed her and took it. Now she was even less dressed than before. Hehehe thank you God. She looked like a harem girl.
Suddenly MasterMofo entered the world.
"Hi" Big-ones greeted
"Hi" said MasterMofo
"What do you use?"
"Stuff"
"What kind of stuff"
"MasterMofo stuff"
"Are you very bright?"
"NO"
"Show me Your "stuff""
MasterMofo ran over to her and a trade thing appeared he put out a 0 damage ear that said "MasterMofo Stuff"
Big-ones look at him with a blank stare and then shot him, but he was resurrected.
"Damn it Andy is still alive"
Suddenly naked Andy came running on through town. Big-ones saw that she was mad so she gave her "clothing" back. But now she was naked and had no money.
"Do you have any armor I can use?"
"Yes, but its good to be naked"
"Give me the armor"
"Fine then"
He ran to his really small stash which helm more than I should and got to armor. It was Ethereal (un-repairable and Clear). Thankfully to all you perverts, this has been included in my story. This so should have been a feature for Diablo 2.
Suddenly out of the blue, MasterMofo Giggle like a young girl starting a great relationship.
Next Time… MasterMofo and Big-ones journey to find the exclusive crown from Burger King!!