A/N Yes. It is I, Zacc Attac, bringing you more of my obnoxious ship propaganda. Here is a love story of two dumb ass Slytherins that are still pretending to not be in love. Idiots, the pair of them.

Prompt: What do you mean the annoying ass former Quidditch Captain from my year who was low-key my best friend is coming to work here? Without telling me? She better not expose my likeable qualities.

Summary: Severus Snape is not taking the identity of the Professor of Hogwart's newest class very well at all. But then he gets over himself.

Severus Snape couldn't help but feel there was something the Headmaster was AVOIDING when he announced the fact that there would be a new optional class added to the Hogwarts curriculum.

In fact, he noticed Minerva McGonagall in particular avoided eye contact with HIM the entire meeting and he was starting to become increasingly suspicious although his tone is NEUTRAL when he asks his question he is GLOWERING at Dumbledore.

"And WHAT is the subject matter of
this new class?"

"Supernatural Creature Consciousness.
I'm quite sure everyone remembers Vladimir
Winchester.
Ever since he's left our school he's been working
for better relationships and communications between
Muggles, wizards, and non-human sentient creatures
alike.
Although the class won't be officially part of the curriculum
until next near due to the Vampire Council's paperwork proc-"

Suddenly the young man's eyebrows shoot upwards as he interrupts the older wizard in an icy tone that causes the rest of the faculty to shift nervously. He REMEMBERED Vladimir Winchester. A bouncy excitable black haired boy in his year, who'd offered him a very NICE drawing of himself once. Winchester had always been attached to ONE more person he remembered all TOO vividly & who's FATHER sat on the Vampire Council.

"Vampire Council?
And WHO is teaching the class?" he asked Minerva KNOWING she damn well knew.

"Well there were very FEW candidates
and only ONE had actually taken all of
the Council's qualification classes necessary
for the curriculum-"

"Who?"

"I hardly see how that is-"

He turned from his colleague, knowing SHE was utterly useless, his dark eyes PIERCING into Dumbledore's (not quite twinkling) blues again.

"Albus.
I will ask EXACTLY once again."

"Keira Black," he finally sighed, sounding near REGRETFUL.

The room goes silent. Everyone remembered Severus' various struggles with the minuscule former Quidditch Captain, how much they'd BICKERED in the hallways & how OFTEN he'd stormed from the Great Hall because of she & his twin sister's blatant TORMENT of him and if the shade of quickly pink colouring his face was anything to go by so did he. (Unbeknownst to them all, she'd actually been his best FRIEND but he was ANGRY with her for an unrelated reason.)

"I would ask if yer all jokin'
but that's too FUCKIN' good
to be true, innit?" he snapped, inspecting his nails with a brittle nonchalance that the people sitting closest to him saw straight through & quickly moved away from just as he stood so quickly his seat CLATTERED to the floor.

"Keira bloody Black?!
NONE of ya know 'er li'e
I do & tha's understandable!
But ye ALL fockin' remember 'er!
'ave you ALL forgotten what a FUCKIN' cunt
she is?!"

A deep breath is pulled in as he quells his rage just enough to grind the Cokesworth out of his voice again.

"Just HOW long did you think I'd
be blissfully unaware of her presence?!
Did you ALL honestly think I'd react
PEACEFULLY to this?!" he spat, slamming his fist against the table so HARD, his knuckle left a dent and the splintered wood drew BLOOD in vengeance.

"Severus, my boy.
CALM down," Albus insisted, wide eyed as his former double agent's eyes FLASHED cobalt briefly in his rage, causing him to falter in his effort to reach out & place a soothing hand of the 26 year old's HEAVING left shoulder.

"Oh I'll calm down, alright.
I'll "calm down" when you approve the
RESIGNATION I'll be leaving in the
morning," he hissed, turning and billowing out of the room.

"So WHO'S going to tell him she's
quartering in the dungeons as well
& she's due to arrive TONIGHT?" Flitwick squeaked hoarsely after the Potions Master's stormy exit. (Of course not one other staff member moved to relay this fact. They were quite FOND of jars of newt entrails affirmily place on storage shelves & not narrowing MISSING breaking over the top of their heads while Severus Snape hissed incoherent insults in Spanish at them.)

The already disgruntled wizard was awoken by various BUMPING noises in the dungeon's hall and with a low growl he stalked out of his bed, scratching at his bare (rather hairy) chest in IRRITATION as a flick of his wand opened the door and sent the absolute LAST (living) person he wanted to see on Earth falling backwards into his private quarters and it's a wonder he still had the DECENCY to catch the slightly older Slytherin by the collar of her still pristine leather jacket BEFORE her head hit the floor.

Forest green eyes that hadn't been quite so iridescent the last time he'd seen Keira Black this close (Nine years ago and breathing heavily under an enchanted mistletoe at her parent's house to be exact) land on his crimson underwear and her head tilted as she's swiftly righted and released from his grip.

"Never really took you for
a red boxer bloke," she finally commented, her nonchalant shrug not even SLIGHTLY hinting to the fact she thought the contrast again his stark pale skin was DELIGHTFUL.

His arms fold tightly over his broad exposed chest, as he REFUSED to let the dungeon chill prevent him from SNARKING her.

"They are NOT red.
Why are you making so much noise
at eleven bloody thirty at night?"

She scratched her head slightly embarrassed, though her eyes instinctively rolled at his dramatics.

"Fine.
Blood orange.
Uh, I uh.
I couldn't move my last box.
Least not without vampire strength
or magic both of which I lack the
power reserves for right now,
I'm sorry.
Didn't mean to wake you, Se-
Bitch, are you alright over there?"

Her inquiry was made in absolute seriousness because his arms had unfolded, his eyes widened and jaw dropped. His incredulous stare as his arms hung limply at his sides was causing her the beginnings of a slow discreet stepping away until he'd found his voice once more.

"You're apologising?
To me?"

"Severus what the FUCK?
I've apologised to you before.
Sometimes five times in one bloody
sitting.
Oh by Eros' bow...
You...
You have brain damage from
working with children all day
for so long DON'T you?"

"I…" he shook his head quite SURE this entire exchange was a bizarre product of his unconscious mind. Since he was sure he was dreaming (he couldn't quite claim this was a nightmare, she looked rather... Lovely; in fact he could see some new tattoos & piercings; there was a GLOW, a renewed FEROCITY bleeding from her aura, her very core that seemed to make her more than simply tolerable company in SPITE of the current GRUDGE he was holding against her) he might as well end it on a PLEASANT note.

"You said you couldn't move a box.
Where is it?
The more quickly I assist you
the faster I can go back to sleep
without fear of you cracking your
skull open the second I
close this door."

She immediately glanced at his bicep (which he NOTICED & was ANNOYED by) before taking his elbow (her touch was so LIGHT but warm, had she ALWAYS smelled like vanilla & campfire ashes? Had he always been so frustratingly AWARE of it?) and leading him into the hallway, pointing at the box. It didn't LOOK as heavy as it turned out to be but he's rather be mauled to death by Niffler's than admit that to her that as he followed her down the hall to an office that was of COURSE located a mere two abandoned classrooms & one still slightly sticky & sealed off Potion's lab from his.

He wordlessly set down the box and glanced back at the woman twisting the ends of her naturally silver hair between her fingers as he had a sudden epiphany.

"Black?"

"Yes, Snape?"

"This isn't a DREAM, is it?"

"That assessment of your current
plane of reality would be correct,
yes."

"I JUST moved a box for you in my
underwear, thus making myself look
like a FOOL for the first time since you've
seen me in nine years as well?"

Keira nodded her head, before patting him on the back, causing him to suddenly not feel the chill of the dungeons so KEENLY.

"Ay si.
But fret not.
You already look like you've
been through the ringer today &
I appreciate you moving the box FAR
too much to tell anyone about this."

"Who are you?"

"Well 'cept Sevina, she'll get a KICK
outta THIS shit!"

".. Fuck you, Black," he grunted, turning & stalking from the room.

A/N This is only the beginning of a long line of sin, shenanigans & outright emotional ignorance that will go on for years between two "colleagues" & "just friends". Prepare your tender (or rough I don't know what ur spirits r like) souls for the ride.