Author's Note: So then, here comes that all important author's note, the contents of which has been evading us since we first finished our beloved chappie (so affectionate, don't you think?). This fic is co-written by the two best-est authors you will ever meet (or so we like to think – so good for self-esteem…) who are known on this site as Moonlight Sapphire and Lady in Scarlett. Although we haven't posted anything individually yet, we will let you know when we get around to posting them.
This is our first fan fiction and we would ask you to tread lightly around our baby/masterpiece. Nevertheless, please be honest in all the reviews you shall inevitably leave. However, flaming just because "it sux!!" isn't a review, or constructive criticism, and therefore, of no use to us. If you want us to improve, please tell us what we can do to make this fan fiction better (although it's already the best…no comment).
Thanks to all you awesome review-y people out there!! To the rest of you…
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
On our last note, thanks anyway for reading and we hope you enjoy the first chapter of Moments Lost in Time
Moments Lost in Time
By: Caeruleus Libellus
Chapter One: I Lurve You
Lily Audrey Evans looked hopelessly into the bathroom mirror, eyeing her long red hair in exasperation. Instead of the elegant French twist she was aiming for, a tangled mess lay about her shoulders, refusing to cooperate. Lily sighed and moved into the bedroom, collapsing on the bed. It was too hot. Too hot to bother, too hot to care.
"Lily!"
"What?" she grumbled, looking in aggravation towards her open bedroom door where her oh-so-lovely sister stood. Outsiders might think that Lily was being unnecessarily rude to her sister, but, as usual, outsiders would be wrong. This was Petunia we were talking about. Petunia! If this was not enough to hate her on the spot, Petunia was the person who had gone out with a pompous, windbag in the shape of a whale and thought him the greatest man ever born. Needless to say, Lily didn't share her deluded sibling's views.
"Aren't you ready yet? We're leaving soon," Petunia snapped, gazing hatefully down at her sister.
"Of course I'm ready," chirped Lily sarcastically.
Petunia, a few IQ points shy of a pumpkin, looked at Lily's hair in horror. "You're not coming like that are you? Next you'll want to put on those freak things you wear to your freak school where you freakishly live with all of your equally freakish friends." Petunia shuddered at the mere thought.
"Well, of course I'm wearing those. Didn't you know?" asked Lily sweetly. She took immense pleasure in the traumatized expression that crossed Petunia's face before her sister turned and went barreling down the stairs, screaming at the top of her lungs.
"Mum!!! Lily's acting like a freak again!"
Having completed the desired task of sending Petunia on her way, Lily sank back onto the bed, only to be interrupted by a persistent tapping at the window. Lily immediately sat up again, smiling at the thought of mail from her best friends. Her smile quickly turned into a scowl. At the window was neither Sierra's grayish-brown owl Morgan, nor Carina's snowy owl Blanche. Instead it was his owl. Lily didn't like saying his name even in her thoughts. He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned was the bane of her existence and why he didn't just do the world a favor, or well, her a favor, and go off and die some long, and unpleasantly drawn out death somewhere far, far, FAR away from her, was beyond her.
Since Lily had long ago decided that it wasn't the owl's fault it was sent on such inane trips, she let it in and fed it some owl treats from her own owl, Charcoal's, cage. It was only then that she noticed the letter tied to its leg. Trust James Potter - I mean He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned, yes, that was right - to send her a Howler. She dropped it on the bed and backed away, as it began smoking around the edges. Lily had just stuffed her fingers into her ears in a futile attempt to block out the noise, as if merely not listening to it would make it go away, when the very thing she was cringing in a corner bemoaning, happened. Lily was scared witless as the stupid thing exploded in a shower of crimson, a loud, booming voice, taking over her bedroom.
"LILYKINS!" Potter's annoying voice yelled gleefully. "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN TWO FULL WEEKS! YOU HAVEN'T REPLIED TO ANY OF MY LETTERS! DO YOU REALIZE HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN? OUT OF MY BLOODY MIND WITH WORRY, THAT'S HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN! SO LILYKINS, I'M SURE YOU WERE ESPECIALLY GLAD TO SEE GOOGLE," Lily made a face at the random name, "OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW! I'M SURE YOU'VE BEEN QUITE BORED WITHOUT MY CHARMING PRESENCE THERE TO LIVEN THINGS UP!" Lily emitted a snort of disagreement and prayed for the thing to run out of steam. Potter's voice became indignant as it continued loudly, "I CAN SENSE YOU SNORTING!" Lily looked in shocked amusement at the howler as Potter continued. "DO YOU REALIZE HOW HURT I AM? I WENT THROUGH ALL THIS TROUBLE TO MAKE YOU A HOWLER AND THIS IS THE RESPONSE I GET? INGRATE! DO YOU WANT OUR GRANDCHILDREN TO HEAR THE STORY OF YOUR ABUSE WHEN WE SIT BY THE FIRE IN THAT LITTLE BROWN COTTAGE WITH THE WHITE PICKET FENCE? I SHOULD THINK NOT! SO LILYKINS, SPEAKING OF GRANDCHILDREN – WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? OH REALLY, YOU WILL? THAT'S GREAT! NOW WE HAVE A STORY TO TELL! SEE YOU AT HOGWARTS LIL! I LUUUURRRRVE YOU!" The Howler trailed off and shriveled up, leaving behind a handful of ash.
This was the third howler this week. But at least the first two had not mentioned grandchildren (Lily laughed inwardly at the preposterous thought) or a cottage with a white picket fence that she was supposedly meant to share with He-who-shall-not-be-mentioned. Annoyingly long declarations of love were also a first. Lily wondered how it was possible to become more immature as you grew older. But then Potter also grew stupider so it shouldn't have really been such a surprise. Too bad he didn't grow shorter so it was easier to glare at him.
A light knock came at the door and she looked up once more, this time to meet her mother's amused green eyes, which were identical to her own. Laurel Evans took one look at the pile of ash on her daughter's bedspread and Lily's scowling face before letting out a light, easy laugh.
"Another one?" she asked, somewhat unnecessarily.
Lily nodded mutely.
"Well you have to admit: he is funny. And persistent!" From her daughter's deepening scowl, Laurel could tell that Lily didn't find James to be the least bit funny.
"He's an insufferable berk Mum," Lily corrected.
"Well think of it this way," her mother advised, "who would you rather marry: James or Vernon?"
"Don't even joke Mum! Vernon of course!" At her mother's disbelieving stare, Lily muttered, "Potter, obviously. Even he's not that bad. Although it was close," she added with a small grin.
Laurel looked at Lily, and enjoyed flaunting her annoying wisdom, gained purely with more years present in the world. "Riiight," she said in a sing-song way. "Well anyway, we need to get going. Hurry up with your hair and come down." Mrs. Evans moved towards the door as Lily made her way to her bathroom once more, complaining all the way.
She began combing her wavy, auburn locks that ended at mid-back, muttering profanities under her breath. And why exactly was Lily so ticked off on this glorious Saturday? Well Potter's howler hadn't improved her mood any, but an underlying issue was still present: the aforementioned pompous windbag. The creature that felt that, if the world didn't revolve around Grunnings, the drill firm he worked at, then it naturally revolved around him. The man, who, going against all human principles, all laws of nature itself, was roughly the size and weight of a whale, and blessed with the coloring of a flamingo. If the man (if he could be called a man) was not pink with excitement, he was positively red with anger, exhibiting an impossibly short temper. He was also the embodiment of the affectionate boyfriend, never failing to look at Petunia with such adoration that it made Lily gag.
And Lily had a fairly strong stomach.
To make matters worse, she was to have lunch with Vernon and his oversized family at their house that afternoon, at which Vernon and Petunia were to make an "announcement". What the point was, of making an announcement about their impending nuptials when everyone present already knew, Lily wasn't sure of. But Petunia had expressed distaste for anything out of the ordinary and wanted her 'courtship' (cue to gag here) with Vernon to be conducted in the 'proper manner'.
Lily could picture the scene in her mind. After listening to a riveting rendition of exactly how much Vernon earned in an hour at Grunnings, he would complain about the dessert being far too rich, while simultaneously devouring three to four helpings. Then he would massage his belly before heaving himself up off his chair, thrusting his chest out, and announcing their engagement, as if it were a great accomplishment to be married to a man of the greatest caliber, such as he. He would then sit down, gazing about with a decidedly superior gaze, while Lily and her parents would attempt to look happy for the glowing couple.
This was sure to be followed by Marge, who would kiss/dislocate Petunia's cheek and express how much she looked forward to becoming Petunia's sister-in-law. She would then proceed to explain to all the delicate digestive system of her dog, Ripper, before asking for a spot more of brandy. The spot would then transform into several glasses, while Lily sat miserably in the back, hoping she could go home soon
Vernon would then glance at Lily, and boom, "Why Daisy!" at which point Lily would inform him that her name was Lily. Vernon, being too absorbed in his entrancing monologue would carry on as if she had said nothing. "I am sure you will be the next to get married!" he would remark in a condescending tone that said quite clearly that he would be perfectly happy if Lily remained a spinster all her days. He would then gaze at Petunia for approval before kissing her, leaving Lily to wonder if it was polite to hurl her lunch and create a repugnant mess on the pristine white tablecloth.
By this time, Lily had tamed her hair, feeling quite light hearted after she had sufficiently ranted. She reached for her earrings and smoothed down her white sundress, vowing to upstage Petunia in looks at least, just to annoy her further. She traipsed down the stairs, almost looking forward to this lunch if it meant irritating the hell out of her older sister.
The sight that met Lily in her own front hall, a place she had formerly thought to be quite safe, was horrendous, to say the least. Her parents, having abandoned her in a fit of madness, had left behind a monster. Petunia was in the middle of full-blown hysterics, ranting about freakish sisters who were conspiring against her, wanting to make her late to this lunch so that 'her darling Vernon' would break off their engagement at the last minute. It was then that Petunia spotted the one and only 'freakish sister' that she had been raving about. Petunia's beady eyes looked Lily over, taking in her flattering dress and now tamed hair, before she pursed her lips as if she had just tasted something sour.
Looking Lily over, she said in condescending tones, "so, you finally managed to get your hair under control? Too bad your freakish tendencies aren't good for anything else. Do you realize what time it is?" Petunia asked sharply.
Lily, being used to this behavior, simply looked at Petunia, her eyes void of emotion. "Feeding time for the whales I suppose," replied Lily coolly before brushing past Petunia and going out to the family car.
After slamming the front door and locking it, Petunia hurried after her, sliding in beside Lily in the backseat. Lily grimaced as she looked at Petunia's lurid pink sleeveless sundress adorned with yellow and white flowers along the hem. A satin sash was wrapped a little above her waist, just below her bust. While Lily had just slicked on some lip-gloss and a touch of mascara, Petunia had gone all out and looked like she had dumped the entire cosmetics counter on her too pale face.
"About time girls," their father remarked in cheerful tones. While the Evans lived in an older part of town, in a quaint Victorian style house, with gleaming white walls and sea green shutters, the Dursley's lived almost across town in newly built Privet Drive. Lily had been their once before and didn't think much of it. But it suited the Dursley's just fine - with identical houses and greener than green lawns, it was the ideal location for boredom and normality.
Their parents carried on their own conversation in the front of the car, Mrs. Evans asking about the latest going on at her husband's law firm. Lily positioned herself as far away from her sister and gazed out the window, watching the familiar sights fly by.
It wasn't as if anyone was fooled by Petunia's 'oh how I love my dear sister Lily' act. All that mattered to Petunia, all that had ever mattered to her after Lily's magical abilities had been discovered, was to have one over her sister. And it was this attitude that often angered Lily beyond what words ever could.
Petunia, needing to clear something up with her sister, interrupted Lily's train of thought. "Now Lily," she said in a sugary sweet tone of voice, "do you remember what we've discussed about your behavior at Vernon's house?"
Lily groaned; she really should have expected this. "No, do remind me," she quipped, tone heavy with sarcasm.
"What word will you never mention, or even think about, during this lunch?" Petunia demanded softly so as not to be noticed by their parents.
"Magic," answered Lily tonelessly, quite used to this hare-brained drill.
"I said don't mention it!" hissed Petunia in alarm.
Lily couldn't resist continuing. "Yes, no mention of magic, no mention of Hogwarts, and no mention of witches or wizards." Lily smirked, quite enjoying the now pasty color of Petunia's face.
"Yes, yes, that's quite enough," said Petunia hurriedly, wanting Lily to shut up as soon as possible.
Lily nodded and returned to her former position of looking out the window. All too soon, their destination arrived and Lily groaned softly to herself. Petunia on the other hand, looked positively delighted, and, after shooting her sister one last murderous look, flounced out of the car and up the front steps to ring the doorbell. Mr. and Mrs. Evans exchanged one apprehensive look before walking up the front path, leaving Lily to bring up the rear. By the time she had gotten inside, the Dursley's were greeting Petunia and her parents.
"Oh it's so lovely to see you Laurel!" called an overlarge Mrs. Dursley grasping Mrs. Evans's delicate hand in her sweaty, and bejeweled one.
"And you too, Dorcas," choked out Mrs. Evans, trying to extricate her hand politely.
Over on the other side of the room, Mr. Evans was going through the same ordeal with Mr. Dursely, who looked like an older version of Vernon. Petunia was being kissed by Vernon and hugged by Marge while Lily stood on the side, already hoping she could leave.
It was then that, much to Lily's dismay, Vernon noticed her. "Why Darcy-!"
"It's Lily-"
"- Darcy! You look wonderful!" Vernon boomed, looking Lily over appreciatively.
Petunia glowered, her thin frame almost hidden behind Vernon's bulky one, while Lily tried not to puke at receiving a compliment from The Whale.
"Vernon!" she cried, hoping to inject some sort of happiness in her voice, "you look, er…very well covered!"
Vernon was, in fact, very well covered in a large and rather gruesome suit that was almost dung green in color, coupled with a dark brown tie and light green shirt. Needless to say, Vernon and Petunia made a rather frighteningly garish picture.
Luckily, Lily was saved from racking her brain for more insincere compliments by Mrs. Dursley suggesting they adjourn to the living room for drinks. It was here that Vernon and Petunia planned to share their joyous 'news'.
The moment they had seated themselves on the hard, but expensive looking couches, rather like those in a doctor's office, Mrs. Dursley brought in a tray laden with all alcoholic drinks.
"So Petunia," she said graciously, "what would you like? Bacardi? Beer? Bourbon? Brandy? Champagne? Chardonnay? Cocktail? Cognac? Daiquiri? Gin? Margarita? Martini? Merlot? Mead? Red wine? Rum? Scotch? Tequila? Vodka? Whiskey? White wine? Yeager? It's all there!"
Lily looked at the woman in amazement, wondering if she had memorized the spiel beforehand, in alphabetical order, before shooting it out at unsuspecting guests. Did she have a drinking problem? Lily decided that yes, she did, and that was probably where her paunch came from. But, Lily realized later, if she was married to an overgrown, thick-skulled walrus, and had to breed without gagging, she would have a drinking problem too.
Mr. Evans interjected. "Lily's not of legal drinking age yet Dorcas," he pointed out politely.
"Oh, a glass is neither here nor there, Nathan!" she boomed, laughing like she had cracked the joke of the century. "A spot of alcohol never hurt anybody!"
"I'll just have a glass of water, if that's alright," put in Lily from across the room. Mr. Evans nodded approvingly while Dorcas bellowed, "Marge, get Dandelion some water!"
After everyone had chosen their preferred choice of drink, Mr. Evans allowing Petunia to have an extremely small glass of wine, small compared to Vernon and Marge's full glasses at least, Vernon tapped a fork against his glass, almost smashing it in the process. Lily grimaced as Vernon cleared his throat importantly. "Petunia and I have an announcement to make."
Petunia stood up as well and went to stand beside Vernon, looking like all her birthdays had come at once. "Petunia and I have decided, that, after years of a lovely courtship," here he looked at Petunia lovingly as Dorcas sighed and wiped her eyes, "we are ready to have our status as a couple finalized."
Only Vernon would talk about his wedding like he was closing a business deal, thought Lily.
Vernon continued. "-and all of you are gathered here today so that we might alert you of our up-coming nuptials," he finished.
There's a surprise, thought Lily sardonically. Everyone already knows you thickheaded prat.
Petunia beamed as all before waving her left hand around, blinding everyone in the room by the light reflected off her engagement ring. The rock, being close to the size of Africa, looked odd on Petunia's bony hand.
Silence descended after Vernon had finished. Nobody quite knew where to look, until Marge, who, true to what Lily had imagined, kissed Petunia on the cheek before giving Ripper, who had been sitting by her side throughout the announcement, a biscuit.
Lily's parents, she was quick to notice, weren't looking nearly as happy as they should have been. Nevertheless, after Vernon's parents had congratulated the couple, Laurel and Nathan stood up and offered their wishes for happiness to the couple. Lily was last to go up to them.
"I'm very happy for you Petunia, Vernon," she offered, plastering a fake smile on.
"I'm sure you'll be next Daisy," replied Vernon, grinning jovially as he wrapped a beefy arm around Petunia's waist.
"Don't count on it," Petunia put in, with a laugh and a supercilious smile.
Lily grinned back, "I'm sure you're wedding will be," she paused delicately, "magical." Lily shot Petunia, who was now glaring at her quite threateningly, a triumphant look before she returned to her seat.
Lunch progressed just how Lily had imagined it earlier in her bathroom. Vernon and Petunia were sitting side by side, positively glowing with happiness. Petunia was talking energetically to her mother and future mother-in-law, explaining earnestly the color, clarity, and carat of the diamond on her engagement ring. Lily noticed her mother tuning out a few times, but smiling nonetheless in the face of her oldest daughter's joy.
Vernon was talking 'business' with her father and his, thrusting his chest out and describing, with a self-important air, the deals he had made in the last month and Grunnings. Lily cringed every time he began speaking animatedly, as it meant more food/spit flying in her direction.
Marge sat beside her, mostly quiet, shoveling food into her mouth and occasionally asking for a 'spot more of brandy'. If any of the Dursleys addressed her, they always got her name wrong, which Lily found quite ridiculous. It wasn't that hard of a name to remember! By the end of the evening she had been called 'Begonia' twice, 'Sunflower' three times, and even a 'Lettuce' had been thrown in there!
All in all, Lily was overjoyed when her dad thanked the Dursleys for a wonderful afternoon and told them that, unfortunately (yea, right) it was time to leave.
When Lily got home, she immediately rushed upstairs and took another shower, wanting to wash off Vernon's chewed up food that had been spit at her over the course of lunch. She slipped into a pair of comfortable jeans and a white tank top. Toweling her hair, she moved into her bedroom, looking for her hairbrush. It was then that her eyes fell on an envelope sitting on her dark green bedspread. Wondering if her friends had finally stopped having enough fun (Carina was visiting cousins in France and Sierra was vacationing in Spain) to take a moment to write to her, she rushed over, and picked up the envelope.
Big mistake.
Lily took one look at the writing on the envelope and flung it down on her bedspread once more. 'Lily Evans' was scribbled across the envelope in a messy scrawl, looking nothing like Sierra's neat cursive or Carina's loopy handwriting.
As if receiving a howler early in the morning that screamed about picket fences, dodging Vernon's spit and pretending to be happy for Petunia, she also needed more letters from He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned. He really had outdone himself. Usually he sent a letter almost everyday – but twice in one day? That was obsessive, even for him.
Sighing in resignation, Lily opened the letter.
Dear Lilykins,
I have written this wonderful letter to inform you of the fact that you seem to have fallen off the face of Earth. This is the only reason I can think of for you not replying to my letters. Really Lily, I slave day and night coming up with letters to brighten your day – the least you can do is reply.
Now that I have finished telling you this crucial bit of information…how've you been? I know, I know, not as well as you could have been seeing as I'm not there…but still. Good? Bad? Somewhere in between? Just wondering…
Did you by any chance go on vacation and get eaten by a bunch of mountain trolls on a hunger strike?
Or were you held captive by an incensed Yeti causing you to freeze to death when you intruded upon his lair in the Himalayas?
Or were you eaten by Nessie when you visited Scotland, who was pretty pissed off because most people don't believe she's real?
Where did Potter come up this garbage? Lily wondered. And why am I reading this?
Or are you just wondering why the hell I persist in prattling on and on when you've been really bored at home the whole time pining for me…nah…
Or were you in Russia and the Baba Yaga started chasing you around in her house perched on giant chicken legs, when you accidentally walked in on her in the midst of an evil plot to take over the world?
Or am I just over-analyzing this and you have simply not replied to any of my letters because you have discovered your undying love for me and cannot seem to express it in words…probably (it was bound to happen Lilykins, bound to happen someday)
Or were you in Antarctica and fell in a giant ice hole, which you managed to climb out of eventually after loosing a few toes to frostbite, before being confronted by an angry and sexually frustrated bear that was hungry 'cause his wife hadn't given him any food (or anything else for that matter) ever since last Thursday?
Or are you sitting there staring at this letter, wondering why the hell I persist in telling you of your own horrible demise…nah…
Or were you taking a vacation in Hawaii when you were ambushed by over-excited natives who forced you into wearing a fruit hat coupled with a grass skirt and a coconut bra, (not that I object) causing you to die of mortification?
Or are you currently sitting there, gaping at this letter wondering if I should be hospitalized…nah…
Or are you currently dying of hunger in the slums of Africa, maimed and crippled by an over-zealous thief who stole your money, other valuables, such as clothing (not that I mind) and, deciding that wasn't enough, use of your limbs as well?
Or are you wondering why I haven't stopped this ridiculous rubbish and come to the point…nah (especially since I already got to the point and now are just expanding and emphasizing upon it)
Or were you in Saudi Arabia, visiting an uncle who worked at an oil well, who decided to take you to the aforementioned oil well on the day it happened to explode, causing burns to horribly disfigure your face? (Don't worry Lil, I'll still love you anyway…wait, it isn't too horribly disfigured is it?)
Or are you wondering if my water has been tampered with seeing as none of my worst-case scenarios have made any sense…nah…
Well no matter what you're wondering since I have decided it is mandatory to tell you what I am thinking. I am thinking that I have run out of worst-case scenarios taking place in foreign lands that make no sense.
But my most important thought is that you should probably send Google back with a reply so that I know that none of the above scenarios have taken place.
By the way, this letter has taken me a good part of an hour to write (even with Sirius's wacky brain to help (he also says hi)) so I think it would be only polite to reply Lilykins. Good manners are always attractive in a person you know.
James
PS: Now I know you just can't wait till we see each other again on Platform 9 and ¾. Can't wait to see you in two weeks Lil!
PPS: I LUUURRRVVVEE YOU!
PPPS: I know that was your favorite part in the howler I sent this morning so I thought I should reiterate the above fact.
PPPPS: Will you go out with me?
Lily could only gaze at the letter in shocked fury. He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned had resorted to coming up with absolute garbage in his spare time, and what was worse, he was putting his deranged ramblings in writing and sending them to her! Lily wasn't sure about replying to him but she knew for sure what she was going to do next.
Lily made her way downstairs, intending to head outside to her spacious back yard, when she was stopped by her mom calling to her from the kitchen.
"Lily! What are you doing?"
"I'm going out to create a bonfire in the backyard, Mum!" Lily left the kitchen amidst amused sputtering and snorting sounds.
Lily was fully intending to create a bonfire in her backyard. She even knew what she was going to burn in it. Torn up pieces of Potter's letter. Yes, Lily was going to have immense pleasure in ripping this letter to bits and flinging them in the fire, imaging someone's face. This was her preferred form of therapy and stress relief. There was also that version of therapy in which Lily faked castrating He-who-shall-not-be-mentioned (with a blunt knife and a cucumber) before forcing him to eat his bits (putting them in Petunia's salad).
Hey, nobody said she was perfect! (Except He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned, but his opinion was invalid due to his imbalanced state of mental sanity).
A/N Now that you have thoroughly read our fantastically fantabulous first chapter, I trust that your eyes are straying subtly towards the little purple button at the bottom left of the screen?
We encourage you to click on it and write away to let us know exactly how much you liked this first chappie. Thanks for reading and please do review!
Caeruleus Libellus