Oh, my dear friends: I was kidnapped recently, by another fandom *gasp!*.
I'm surprised Loki has not destroyed me. I'm gonna be a supernerd and say it's the Mjolnir necklace around my neck. ;)
Seriously though, I've missed you gais and wanted to give you something. Plus, Selenite had a birthday just recently! This is something of a belated present to her. :)
It's another small silly thing, a twoshot, and could very possibly be considered Crack. Hope you all get a good laugh, and please be forewarned of some heavy post-Avengers Tony Stark in this first chapter!
All my love, and remember: I own nothing, and reviews make me giggle cutely. ^.^
It was at that point now…
That time of night when every single light in the building had either been dimmed or turned off completely, when every other employee had bid their 'goodnight's and the last few had even tried to talk her into walking with them to the elevators, just to get her to leave.
That time of night when the computer screen seemed way too bright and the words on it were mixing into a black inky digital slurry.
That time of night when it wasn't even technically 'night' anymore.
Jane swayed forward a moment before jerking back upward, eyes suddenly widening as a strange feeling of alertness overwhelmed her.
It was at that point, where she was so tired, so sleepy, that she actually wasn't. It was that instant where her exhaustion had journeyed so far into her being that it had broken through to the other side into a new rush of energy, fueled by the four empty cups of coffee sitting around the keyboard and her own freakish determination.
She had a spiffy new job, and she'd be given a spiffy new assignment to impress her spiffy new boss with, and by God, she would not stop until she finished it.
She contemplated leaving her office for just a moment for more coffee. But riding the wave of her 'sleep-breakthrough' high, her fingers decided to continue typing instead. The words on the screen cleared up just a bit, and she smiled. She'd stayed up forty-eight hours straight one time in college, completing a presentation on (what else?) the Einstein-Rosen Bridge. She could handle this.
Silence surrounded her, aside from the recurrent hum of her computer and the 'tick-tock'ing of the old-fashioned clock on her office wall. It was just past two o'clock in the morning, and she was on a roll.
She was also the only person left in Stark Industries tower.
Or at least, she thought she was.
A crackle from nearby distracted her, and her eyes darted away from the screen momentarily, but she did not turn her head. She recognized the sound, and knew what it meant.
"What can I do for you, Mr. Stark?" She spoke to the emptiness of the room, knowing well that Mr. Spiffy himself- Tony Stark, Iron Man, her new employer- was listening through the integrated, 'Jarvis'-controlled microphone system.
A snicker sounded from the speaker in the wall behind her.
"Jarvis says you're still working, Miss Foster..."
Jane sighed when she also recognized the sound of rock music and clinking glasses behind his voice.
"Yes, Mr. Stark, I am. What can I do for you?"
Another snicker.
"Stop asking me that question. I am entirely too intoxicated to answer that in any other manner than vulgar. And I really don't need to screw up both my first real relationship and my friendship with a certain immortal alien by saying something stupid to said teammate's girlfriend."
She smiled a bit, thinking about this famously flirtatious billionaire being truly involved with someone for the very first time. If it was any of her business, she would tell him that the way to Pepper Pott's lasting happiness was certainly not to get drunk in his office building at two in the morning.
But then, it was none of her business.
"Thor isn't exactly my boyfriend, Mr. Stark. I mean…not yet, I mean…I don't think…." Jane blinked at her own voice and wondered how she could be thinking of one thing and talking about another.
Hello, unconscious thoughts. How are you today?
The sound of glass got louder when the mic crackled to life again.
"Gotcha. I'll tell Thor you need confirmation on your relationship status when he gets back from his visit with 'Daddy'."
Her eyes widened.
"I'd rather you not, please."
A voice in the background could be heard then, and Tony's own chuckled loudly. Jane could tell that the other voice belonged to a man, and for the first time since she had started working for him, Jane wondered about the other friends Tony Stark possibly kept. Aside from the Avengers, who did he hang out with in his spare time?
The chuckle turned into a laugh.
Apparently funny people.
Then again, it could be someone from the team.
Although Jane could not think of anyone that would tolerate Tony's presence long enough to get drunk with him, aside from the possibility of Thor.
The mysterious voice mumbled again and for a split moment in time, she thought she recognized it.
Chill bumps rose on her arms, and she looked at them curiously.
Tony's voice breaking through again pulled her away from her own suspicions.
"You've been working hard, Miss Foster. Take a load off."
"If by 'take a load off' you mean come get drunk with you, no…no thank you."
The mic went silent.
Jane grinned in triumph.
Jane: one. Perverted scoundrel: zero.
Static crackled again a second later.
"Miss Foster, get down here or you're fired."
She fought the urge to 'head-desk'.
Surely he could not be serious?
"I'm serious."
This can't end well.
It shouldn't have surprised her that Tony Stark had a private lounge in the lower levels of the tower.
It shouldn't have, and it didn't.
It also did not surprise her that as she entered the rather fancy-looking double doors, she found that the lounge- complete with bar area, billiards table, arcade games and three big-screen televisions- took up as much space as about five of the large offices upstairs.
"Miss Foster! Glad you found us. Welcome to my man-cave."
Stark himself was settled in a large, nearly overstuffed recliner in front of one of the TVs , a martini glass in one hand and a bottle of tequila in the other.
She waved at him briskly and shoved her hands into her pockets.
"Yeah…it's…uh, nice."
The entire area was dimly lit, and she could see that the majority of the lighting was coming from the television screens, all of which were playing what appeared to be metal videos.
Definitely 'man-cave' material….
Stark grinned brightly at her.
"Yes it is. I come down here after a hard-day's work. You know…when Pep gets on my ass and actually makes me come to work. Not normally here so late, though. My guest is to blame." Leaning back a bit in the chair, he downed the martini and raised the glass at her. "You've been an exemplary employee in the few weeks you've been with Stark Enterprises, Miss Foster. I insist you join us for a drink."
Jane looked around the dark area, fingers twitching in her pockets, the goosebumps on her arms threatening to return.
"Um….and who's 'us'?"
The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end when warm breath hit it, the bittersweet smell of alcohol meeting her nose.
She dared a glance behind her, and found her earlier suspicions confirmed.
Jane gaped at the raven-haired man behind her.
Alien, Jane. Alien.
"Loki?"
A cool hand reached forward to pull one of her hands from its hiding spot, and before she could protest, a glass was shoved into it.
Loki Laufeyson smiled at her openly.
"Miss Foster, have a martini."