Chapter One-Unexpected Company
(One afternoon, Leon S. Kennedy was unusually bored and had nothing to do at all. What he didn't know that something wild and crazy was going to come his way!)
dingdong!dingdong!x34
Leon: 'My god, who could that be?'
(Leon opens the door to find Luis Sera dressed in a Captain Jack Sparrow costume POTC. He stares in complete amazement as Luis waves to him hyperly.)
Luis: "Leon! Guess what happened to me, amigo! I'm replacing Johnny Depp in some random Pirates movie!...Leon? Are you dead?"
(Leon continues to stare at him while his head hurts from thinking so hard.)
: "Leon, I can explain this ordeal..."
(A 21 year old woman named Aku that is wearing all black with black hair and brown eyes walks up behind Luis as he hummed to himself.)
Leon: "Aku! Did you bring him back from the dead!"
Aku: "I needed practice on humans and Luis is cool (but a perv cough) so...yeah! Amazing how he got the part of Jack Sparrow..."
Leon: "I thought you didn't survive the Raccoon City Outbreak?"
Aku: "Er...well yeah! I was technically with the assholes who caused it all..."
Luis: "Leon, do you know that Lord Saddler is coming?" points out window
Leon: "What the?"
(Lord Saddler had decided to come since he was bored and had noone else to trouble/play around with.)
Ramon: "MR. KENNEDY!" glomp
Leon: "HOLY F----" falls over
Aku+Luis: "..."
Saddler: "Ramon, off of the American Swine."
Ramon: "Meanie..." pouts and gets off Leon
Leon: "What the hell are you doing here?"
Saddler: "We lost Krauser."
Leon: "...and you think I know where he is?"
Saddler: "No...but he is stalking you right now."
Leon, Luis, and Aku: "WHAT?"
Ramon: "Isn't ovious that he was gay for Leon?"
Saddler: "Leave them alone. They have mangoes for brains."
Luis: "Well, oh yeah! Well...I'M JACK SPARROW!"
Aku: whispering "Great come-back, pirate."
Leon: 'Wait a minute...'
(Leon sneaks towards his refrigator and holds his combat knife out while he starts to open the door. Jack Krauser was frozen solid while drinking some secret alcohol that Leon snoke once in a while. Pissed, Leon stabbed at the frozen Krauser's neck but the ice moved and caught the knife. Everyone froze stiff since the Krauser Ice got out of the refrigator and shook the ice off of him. Krauser taking his chance to strike, bear-hugged Leon to the point Leon's back started to snap.)
Krauser: "LEON! I'VE MISSED YOU!"
Leon: "Stop...hugging..."
Krauser: "HOMFG! I'M SUPER UBER SORRY! T T"
Aku: singing "It's peanut butter jelly timex3! Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!..."
Luis: "You know Aku, you are one very beautiful woman with nice assets." looking at her bust
Aku: "EEK! YOU PERVERT!" slap
Luis and Ramon: "Meanie!"
Saddler, Aku, Leon, and Krauser: "eh?"
Ramon: "I have the power to tell when they are going to say meanie! Ohhh Ah"
Everyone else: "Crazy Old Grandpa!"
Ramon: twitch "I'M NOT YOUR F-----ING GRANDPA! X0"
Ada: shouting through the window "RUN!"
: "Is this the Mouse house?"
(Riku and Sora from Kingdom Hearts 2 were standing outside Leon's door which was open, looking at them like they are morons. All activity stops while they stare at them. For an hour, they were having a stare-down while Mickey stole Krauser's pants and walked off boredly. Aku was just singing Peanut Butter Jelly Time and dancing like the banana the whole time.)
Krauser: "Its getting drafty in here..."
Everyone: "WHAT DER F---?"
(Everyone has know taken notice to the pantless Krauser. What noone needed to know or find out, Krauser wore pink boxers with Leon's face on it.)
Krauser: "BY THE GOD KER-BLAH-DE-BLAH Aku+Ramon: MEANIE, JACKO HAS COME TO RAPE THE CHICKEN CHILDREN WITH MONKEYS AND PIE!"
Ada: "We are not stupid enough...(everyone looked around except Aku who is staring at Krauser's boxers in wondered confusion)...or at least me and Aku...sigh"
Krauser: "AHA!"
Leon: "OFF THE BBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGG LEG, BEEPITY BEEP BEEP BEEP!"
Riku: "Woah."
Aku and Sora: "DAM YOU DISNEY! DDDDAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!"