It's not mine, I just borrowed it...

Prologue

There were only good days or bad days, something like normal or average simply did not exist.

On a good day they would get along, she would muster the courage to talk to him and control her temper and nerves enough to not snap at his every word. He would acknowledge her presence, respond to what she was saying and on rare treasured occasions would seek her out for conversation in the course of which he would sometimes even casually touch her, putting an arm around her, nudging her shoulder with his own or ruffling her hair.

They would laugh and joke, walk together in earnest contemplation of every aspect of live, discuss classes and lessons and she would float on air, a stupid lopsided grin firmly fixed to her face, dreaming about a future together.

On bad days they would pass each other in the hallways without a sign of recognition, avoiding eye contact or conversation like the plague. He would ignore her even if she was standing right next to him and she would pointedly talk to his friends, turning her back on him. If forced to work together at bad days, things would inevitably end in disaster. She would storm and rage at him and he would drop a few selected sentences, the sarcasm and malice of which would pierce her heart and reduce her to tears the moment she was alone.

On bad days she would swear to herself never to waste a thought about him, to finally give up on her useless romantic dreams and would try to convince herself that she was glad they were leaving school for good in July and then she would never ever have to see him again.

She would be sulking and brooding about boys in general and him in particular until the next good day and the whole cycle would start all over again.

Their relation had never been easy to start with. From love almost at first sight on his side and resentment and distrust on hers it had somehow grown into a wonderful yet fragile friendship that came to an abrupt halt when he realised friendship was not enough to fulfil his needs and she developed a curious and unnerving obsession with him.

She found herself wondering what was left of his former feelings of love and passion towards her and almost unbeknown to herself, the renewal of these feelings became the prime object of her wishes.
When she was unable to deceive herself any longer, she had to admit that the proposals she tossed so carelessly aside not too long ago would now have been gladly accepted. She had started to love him, just when she could no longer convince herself of his love for her.