Sins of the Father

Note: Although I haven't seen The Sopranos: Season 6, Part 2 yet, I have my own theory about Christopher's son, Christopher Julian Junior. Probably one of the most melancholic pieces I've written, particularly considering the other works I have done. Christopher regrets never having really known his father, since he died so young (he never saw the actual massacre), but grows under the wing of Sil and Paulie, not really knowing what he has been born into…

"I had a family once, a life. Now all I have is a mission."—Aeon Flux (from the film)

Chapter 1—So F#$ed Up

First things first. I never really knew my father, other than from his astonishing scripts, which I still hold onto to this very day. I have a photo of him in my wallet. So I'm sentimental. I can't help that, its part of my nature. The only thing I remember besides my beloved father's expression on his deathbed. I never saw someone look so serene or tranquil, and I had no f#$ing way of telling how the hell he died. I admit I am slightly screwed up because of all of this, especially considering my father was an addict. I had to suffer with that sin, and I am almost clean, but I don't hold it against my father. I love him, and I wonder who did this to him. No one will tell me anything, and in the long run, I suppose it doesn't really matter.

Secondly, I look just like dear old dad. Or so I have been told. It seems to me that the ladies just couldn't leave him alone. As a young man and now being on the brink of adulthood, I can never remember a time when I wasn't surrounded by girls. Unlike my mentors though, I didn't want to bang everything in a skirt. I don't have a steady girlfriend, but that also doesn't matter much to me either. The only thing that matters to me now is taking care of ma, keeping my little sister Rosetta in line (she's in with a bad crowd of people and she's only thirteen) and learning about who I am. I'm almost 21 f#$ing years old…I'd better figure this out soon.

Chapter 2—Rite of Passage

"Hey, it's my boy !", Sil said as he welcomed me into Satareli's. Uncle Sil and Uncle Paulie had always been good to me. They made certain that even though I had a shitty job at the local movie rental store. I'm making a mint and I work hard. Plus I have a part time job bussing tables. I try to be a good role model for my sister, but she is very willful. She's got her own problems and I can only do so much as I can to steer her in the right direction, but I still fear she will follow the dark path into sin and desolation.

"How's the family ?", Paulie asked, hugging me warmly. He had told me a lot about my father, including the trip they experienced in the forest together. Apparently, I had my father's sense of humor, but the only thing I inherited from him besides the fact that women seemed to be drawn to me was my dashing good looks and my love of the movies, writing and drama.

"They're doing well. Mother's found a new boyfriend, and my sister, well, she's my sister. Not much I can do with her, other than trying to keep on the right path. It's difficult as hell, she's wickedly stubborn. But hopefully she'll steer away from the dark path of destruction, Uncle Paulie.", I said, chuckling as he tousled my hair. Tony came in for a chat with the guys. I had no clue as to what they were talking about, but I didn't know they were discussing me. They were talking about what they should do for my upcoming 21st birthday and how it should be one that I never forgot. If I had known then what I know now, I would've turned away and ran until my legs were bloody stubs. But then again, I know I have to be cautious of my surrogate dad, Tony. I know when to keep my distance and I know when to keep my f#ing mouth closed. We all learn that early. But back to my "coming of age".

Like I expected, the guys wanted me to spend my evening at the Bing after I had my fill of manicotti and spumoni at Artie Bucco's restaurant. I hadn't eaten too much, but I had never been to the Bing. Uncle Sil put in a good word for me, and before I knew it, there were half naked chicks wanting to "fulfill my fantasies". I really didn't want to lose my virginity to a stripper, but I didn't want to disrespect the men who raised me. So, as any respectable man of the underground will do, I was taken to the VIP room by a voluptuous blonde by the name of Vanilla. I had a plan and I knew by using my poetry and my gift of music, Vanilla would be purring like a kitten in no time.

There was no sex involved, simply a bit of "meeting the bishop" if you will. I was the one providing the pleasure for her, and all it took was a simple touch, a brush, a kiss to the back of the neck. I was complimented, and secondly, proposed to. If I were any other man I would've taken the offer but I didn't want that kind of temptation hanging around me. I would get a girlfriend soon enough, but I really didn't want to settle down just yet.

After my encounter with Vanilla, the boys met me at the back of the Bing, and noticed that I had a rather satisfied expression on my face.

"Our little Chris is a man.", Tony said, welcoming me into his embrace. It had been a long time since I had been embraced by the man I called 'papa', even though I had heard rumors he killed my dad in cold blood. Even if that rumor was true, I wasn't about to enact a vendetta. I had a respect for Tony…I would do anything for him. And I was about to become his understudy, or the one that would be next in line to become the capo.

Tony had everything set up for the initiation. I was about to become part of the underground. My whole frame shook inwardly as I followed the code, and finally pricked my finger to seal my bond to the family. My heart knew this was wrong, but I understood now what my father had been a part of. I had been born into this shit. There wasn't any f#$ing thing I could do to deliver myself away from it. Yeah, I've had suicidal thoughts, but I never acted upon them. My father would roll in his grave if I had. I didn't wish to disrespect the man I resembled, the man I would always love even though I only knew him through stories.

Chapter 3—Where It Stands Now

Mother and Rico are getting along just fine now. He's a hard worker and does his best to provide for the family. He tells me I work too hard, but no matter how I wrap my head around the fact that he's my new "father", he isn't. Granted, I love the guy, he's really cool. But I see him as a brother, not my dad. My real parents are the guys back at Satareli's, the Bing and Artie Bucco's. As for Rosetta, thankfully her phase had ended and she was back on her kick of wanting to become a fashion designer. I let her know she can do anything she puts her mind to. She's a very intelligent girl, and now she's even making the honor roll. Suppose it pays off to be a good role model, even though I am involved with an organization that has an ominous, sanguine past.

From time to time, I see the guys, and I spend the holidays around family. Oddly much to my surprise, I have a wonderful girlfriend named Tonya, who treats me like gold. Though she comes from a Russian background, the guys support me and I have recently engaged her. The only thing that worries me is AJ, Tony's son. I never had any trouble with the guy in the past, but there's something suspicious about him. I try to keep my distance. I heard once that he killed Uncle Junior. I'm not saying I condone him for his actions. If I were in his place and wearing the same shoes, I probably would've done the same f#ing thing. Every time I'm around the lousy bastard, I get the feeling he's enacted a vendetta against me, all because I'm the next capo. I don't know how the f#$ he would know that, but as far as I am aware, I can't really trust anyone. I've become rather paranoid in my young age and it's probably all for the better. All I can say is I hope I don't have to be paired with him in the same room. I'd be safer working with Uncle Furio and I don't even know where he is presently. At least Uncle Furio has been a great mentor despite the fact he has been far away, but I was about to be reunited with him again.

Chapter 4—Firearms Expert

Uncle Furio came to take me back with him to the old country. I wasn't expecting him to take me along with him, but he stated that it was "strictly business". He was going to educate me in firing weapons, which I knew little or nothing about. My Uncles back home had never taught me how to do so, but they had taught me how to keep everything accurate and up to date. I was the family's secretary, and I added a bit of muscle should anyone ever get out of line. I just threw around idle threats. Now I could actually back those threats up with an arsenal.

Italy was everything I imagined it would be. While I was there, I bought a pendant for my girlfriend, Tonya, but I didn't have much time to soak in the sumptuous nature of the island. Furio was patient, but he was also disciplined. He was like an old master teaching me, his student, the "art" of all things deadly. I learned defense, and then I learned how to shoot my first weapon. More importantly, I came to grips that it wasn't the weapon, but the person wielding it that made all the difference.

Furio was unyielding in training, but let me have a drink of water (or afterwards in celebration, vino), whenever I became too hot. He taught me the fine art of holding and firing guns as well as to how each gun reacted. All of them were quite different. I didn't bother with ones that had too much kickback, but I also knew how to fire them if I had no other option. Then I learned about conventional weapons (or whatever happened to be around me at the time).

"Anything can be used as a weapon if you are desperate enough.", Uncle Furio said, as he showed me how I could suplex someone much larger than myself to immobilize them. A certain method of pressure points in the body could be exploited and the opposition could die instantly on impact. Though it sounded painful, it actually wasn't. It was a more dignified death than a gunshot to the brain.

I soon became quite skilled at shooting a target from afar and a moving target. It was much easier for me to spot a target from a distance than to shoot at a moving one. Furio had told me it was easier to end for vulnerable spots on the body. I drank in all of his words, hoping I would please him. By the time he felt I was prepared for combat in the real world, he took me to one of his favorite restaurants. I had never had such damned good food in all my existence. Of course, Artie's cuisine back home was just as exquisite, so my pallet wasn't completely ruined. Though I realized I did enjoy rich food every so often. It made me feel like a king. Sadly, I realized I had to go back home. That's when I had my first "assignment".

Chapter 5—A Slight Scare

Needless to say, I didn't remain a virgin for long. I had never known what it was like to be in the same bed with a woman, let alone the same room. But, I will never forget or regret my experience with Tonya. She is f$ing incredible, but like responsible adults we are careful. I do hope to marry her someday, and have about 2.5 kids. I am true to her, and never stray, though Vanilla, back at the Bing (every time on my birthday, Uncle Sil "treats" me), tries to divert me from my lovely wife. Truth be told, she is drop-dead gorgeous, and just looking at her makes my knees go weak and my engine revved up. Damn, I'm one lucky son of a bitch.

I was particularly grateful that I could say I had gotten laid, or I would've regretted it when I faced the gun of an enemy of the family. This prick hadn't paid his money that he owed us, and Tony wasn't really keen on getting his hands dirty. So, I, the son of the infamous lady-killer Christopher Moltisanti, had to do a little dirty work for him. I didn't really mind, considering that he was "grooming" me to become the next capo, but I had never killed anyone before. It is something that you never quite forget. The smell of blood and death you can never erase from the recesses of your mind, and the stain never completely washes clean from your hands. Eventually, one becomes used to these methods, but the mind has ways of really f#$ing you up at times.

This mook who had been involved with the family wasn't going to pay us easily. He kept haggling and offering us better deals when all we really wanted was cold, hard cash. He tempted me with drugs, which was a bad move on his part.

"But aren't you your father's son ?", he said. This really pissed me off.

"What did you say, motherf#&er ?", I questioned as I pulled out my piece and heard the delightful sound of the bullet falling into place. I had never been so upset about someone trash talking my father before, and I had heard everything under the sun.

"I mean, come on, CJ. Think of it. I have what you really want here…", the mark said, starting to sweat a little. I was still mad, and I disagreed to his offer.

"Cash. That's all we want. Give us what we need and we'll be out of your hair. That is if you had any, asshole.", I said brusquely. I hadn't been this mad in ages. Suddenly, he pulled out a gun as well, which was much smaller than the heater I had. He shot me in the foot, which really hurt like hell, but I had been through worse. I remembered stepping through a rusty nail when I was helping my mom retile the house and some planks had been removed by the other carpenters in the neighborhood. I thought quickly and shot back instantly. The poor fat bastard didn't have far to run. I had hit him between the eyes and he fell down with a monstrous thud. His two goons, scared shitless, didn't know which way to turn, so naturally, they gave me the money we sought, made no mention of what had happened and fled. I, along with Uncle Paulie, had to go find an inconspicuous spot to bury the body and the whole incident was noted as "mission complete" in our little black books. I had been fortunate to be shot through the foot, though it was tended to immediately. I hadn't faced death, but hopefully I wouldn't in the near future.

Epilogue

I'm not really certain where it will go from here. Recently, I buried my mother. She lost her battle against addiction and it did her in. Unfortunately, she had been the victim of a gang shooting and sadly was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Rosetta, my sister, was still hanging tough even though her punk-ass "friends" wanted them to join her. I acted as her bodyguard. If anyone did anything to her, they would have to answer to me. Same thing went for my wife, Tonya. We had one child, Giovanni, and hopefully we will be expecting a girl a couple years down the road. Tonya wishes to name our next child, which is fine by me.

AJ still scares the hell out of me. I really watch him closely because I feel he could be the end of me. He promises me he isn't, and tells me I can trust him, but since he's on drugs and all that shit, I can't really trust him. I know he's Tony's son but still, I cannot trust him further than I can throw him. So, I still keep my eye on him. If I have troubles with him, I've got Paulie and Sil to back me up. Those guys are my godfathers and I love them. Of course, there's also Furio, who has been working hard in the old country. There isn't one place I know of that has some kind of influence from us. Granted, it might not be the best influence for the kindest environment to raise children, but it is all we know. I've done my best to be honorable, though I have killed (only because I would be "punished" greatly if I had not) upon request and I live with that sin every day. I confess to the priests, though no amount of confession can ever cause me to feel pure. That is the only part of me I'd rather not admit to, but it is undeniable. It is invisible to everyone else but me.

I'm not certain how long our "reign" will last, even though I know there are different families in this area, but so long as they don't enter our turf it'll be fine. I pray to God that another Gangs of New York never happens. It was bloody enough the first time, it'd be a f#$ing World War III if it happened again. I may talk smack and curse (quite a bit, it's just my upbringing and my background, so sue me), but I know my history. If you hadn't noticed it tends to repeat itself. If it does, I don't want to be around to witness it. But, whatever happens, and no matter how blood-soaked my past is, my family is in good hands, as I am in good company with them. I may die tomorrow; I don't really care if I do. Even if that occurs, my family will still be in good hands. That is just the way this life is. We're born into this shit. There's only one way out through death, and even then…God only knows, if HEexists.

Diary of Christopher Julian Moltisanti

Born: 2006…died…Undetermined

Whereabouts: Unknown