DISCLAIMER: NOT MINE!
I was bored so Jen came up with a fic challenge for me to get the brain into gear the spec was:
Sandra/Gerry, his car/a traffic jam/a traffic warden & some point Gerry needs to say of his car Well it's younger than you!
Here is the result! Any review would be lovely! Enjoy! :) x
"Christ Gerry, if you hadn't had that second fag we could have been at Lorna Rosendale's flat by now, instead here we are stuck in London traffic" Sandra Pullman sighed banging her head against the passenger seat window.
"Oi, do you mind not slamming your head so hard onto my window, I know there is nothing in it but I really can't afford to have a new window put in" Gerry said tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the radio.
"You think you are so bloody funny don't you" She spat back.
"Someone's a little off hand this morning" Gerry in defence.
"Yeah, well I had a crap night's sleep and I didn't get my morning coffee, thanks to Strickland ordering us to visit this Lorna Rosendale as soon as we stepped foot in the office".
"You could have had a cup of coffee while I had my cigarette, that's what I did" He beamed, it was so easy to wind Sandra up and he couldn't get enough of it.
Sandra didn't reply, instead she strained her eyes to see the gridlocked North Circular road though the windscreen.
"Looks like something's finally moving" she said pointing toward the distance.
"Yeah all of two yards" Gerry sharply replied.
"Perhaps I should get out and go and investigate, they might let us thorough if I explain we are met business" she said indicating that she was about to unbuckle her seatbelt.
Gerry put his hand on the buckle restraining from undoing it, "Sandra we both know that they won't tell you anything, just relax, what's all the rush any way? You were the one who couldn't understand why we had to question Ms Rosendale right this minute".
"Yeah well I didn't anticipate that I would be stuck in a car for 45 minutes with you, did I?" she huffed slouching back in her seat.
"Worst things happen at sea ay Guv, anyway there are plenty of ways to keep ourselves amused" he winked.
"Gerry!"
"I meant play eye-spy or that word game where you each say a word and make up a little story, you know car games, I used to play them with the girls when they were younger".
"Yeah, I'm sure you did, Gerry"
"Of course I did, look Eye-Spy with my little eye something begging with, err c"
"Car" Sandra said flatly.
"Well done, you're good at this Guv"
"Well it's not very hard seen as there are hundreds of the things all lined up for as far as the eye can see not going anywhere" she sighed.
"Well, I thought I would start with an easy one, I didn't have you down as a car game type of person".
"You got that right" she said checking her watch and rolling her eyes in frustration as not even two minutes had passed since she last checked.
"C'mon your turn Sandra".
"Gerry, I am not playing eye bloody spy, I'm not four" she snapped.
"Alright, no need to get tetchy I was only suggesting some things we could do to pass the time".
"Yeah, you're right it's not your fault we are stuck here, sorry Gerry" she said trying to sound more convincing than what she actually was. Today for some unbeknown reason Sandra Pullman was in the word's worst mood.
"No worries Guv, listen, now this is a classic, one of my all time favourite tunes is this" he said jumping as far out of the driver's seat as the seat belt would allow him and turned up the music. He closed his eyes and pretended he was playing the electric guitar to Eric Clapton' classic 'You Look Wonderful Tonight'.
"Christ" Sandra muttered to herself as Gerry got lost in the music, it was a nice song, very nice but Sandra really wasn't in the mood for Gerry murdering it. "It's bad Faith all over again she sighed not being heard over the music and Gerry's off key singing.
"It's late in the evening
She's wondering what clothes to wear
She puts on her makeup
And brushes her long blonde hair
And then she asks me
Do I look alright
And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight"
Covering her ears with her hands for deliberate effect as well as for her hearing she shouted over Gerry's deafening racket and the smooth crooning of Eric Clapton. "For God's sake shut up the hell up Gerry!"
"Is my singing not up to your satisfaction or something Guv? It's a classic is this"
"Classic is not the word I would use to describe your singing, Gerald"
"Oh Sandra we missed the best verse now, you know I bet Clapton was thinking about you when he was writing this"
"Pass me the sick bucket" she said facetiously.
"No it's true or it's about someone who is exactly like you" he said before continuing to sing, even louder than before to annoy her.
" I feel wonderful
Because I see the love light in your eyes
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize
How much I love you"
Sandra laughed as Gerry lost in the music imitated Clapton playing the guitar with his hands and his attempt at humming along to the instrumental solo. It was quickly clear to her that he hadn't spotted the traffic warden who had been tapping on his window for a good minute or so.
"Gerry!" Sandra yelled before turning off the radio.
"Oi! Do you mind I was enjoying that" he snapped not happy that she had woken him from his day dream of being a world famous rock 'n' roll star performing at Hyde Park.
"I think you're wanted" she said gesturing to the woman at the window.
"Oh, right" Gerry said smiling embarrassedly as he wound down the car window. "Everything alright?"
"There's been a bad incident further down the road, we are doing our best to clear enough of the road so vehicles can turn around before we close the road for the rest of the day" The warden said matter of factly.
"Oh, okay thanks Guv'nor" he said to the woman.
"Hopefully we should have you all moving soon". The woman smiled.
"Cheers" Sandra added as she walked off.
"Great that's all we need Strickland is going to kill us" she sighed.
" What over this, I doubt it, he is just going to have to wait until tomorrow when the road is reopened" Gerry said logically.
"Fair point, but there is not a lot we can do on this case anyway, lord knows why he and the Commissioner want this case reopened so badly".
"No idea Guv, ah well let's put the radio back on" he said reaching for the switch.
"Oh no, I'd prefer it if we sat in silence, thank you very much.
About ten minutes the vehicles ahead were beginning to gradually turn around. Sandra had to stop herself jumping for joy as one by one each car began to move, and hour and a half in a stationary car with Gerry Standing hadn't been her idea of fun.
"At last, it's our turn to move, step on it Gerry"
Gerry turned the key, firing up the ignition.
Sandra's heart sank as the engine coughed and spluttered.
"She won't go" Gerry sighed trying again.
"What do you mean 'she won't go'?"
"Sandra the car won't bloody start" he said restraining himself from shouting. "I don't understand it was working fine 'till we hit the traffic jam, usually I can tell when something's about to give".
"Gerry it's obvious, the car is ancient it should have been thrown on the scrap heap years ago" she said sighing at the thought of another hour and a half stuck in a broken down car with Gerry and all the angry people behind them wanting to turn around beeping their horns at them.
"Well it's younger than you!" he said aggressively turning the ignition again with any hope of it suddenly coming to life being dashed.
"The gearbox maybe. Great, it looks as if I am stuck here in this piece of old tin all day, thanks a lot Gerry!" she yelled back in frustration.
"Sandra relax, I'll go and phone the AA you said yourself that once we got back to the office there was not a lot we could do, so we might as well be here, different scenery and all that and hey it means we can have the radio back on."
"You Gerry Standing are unbelievable, you better make sure you tell them to hurry up I'm not kipping in here over night" she said resting her feet on the dashboard, if she was going to be here for a while longer she might as well get comfortable, especially if Gerry was going to sing again.
The End!
Hope it was alright! :) x