Harry Potter and the corridor
By: Grey Wolf
Disclaimer: JK Rowling is a bitch for killing certain character that will remain nameless and I will not rest until he's revived even if I have to do it myself. Oh everyone belongs to her. Ok and everyone belong to her except Mister Quackers he belongs to HIM in the PPG. =^-^= sorry for the shameless Britney act too
Note: I think there isn't a single fan out there that isn't morning in some form. Thus I had to lighten the darkness of it somewhat, plus I have insomnia. Think about being awake and not sleeping and you will find this fic funny. It's he whole corridor thing in phoenix but with a twist. Again I blame insomnia. Btw after writing Hermione's bit I had to disinvest my keyboard, it's to disgusting to bear
Rated: PG-13 for suggestive-ness-ness-ness… ok so it's not suggestive it's down right disturbing
*********************************************************************
*********************************************************************
The corridor stretched out in front of Harry but this time it seemed different. He was in the Black house for one and all the doors where unlocked; how he knew that he wasn't sure but he knew they where. He was pulled along to the first door, like he was holding a slow moving portkey and his hand came to rest on the cold smooth doorknob.
The door swung open in front of hi and the site be beheld was one of great horror. There was Hermione, in her school-skirt shrunk several sizes so it barely covered her, her shirt tied that her breast where all but falling out of it and her hair tied pigtails. If seeing her like this wasn't bad enough se was shaking her ass to "hit me baby one more time" using her wand for a microphone. Harry stared at her in horror.
She stopped in mid chorus when she saw Harry and smiled at him, her layers of make-up cracking as she did. "Hey babe, like guess what. I'm like totally trying out to be like a Pop Idol. It's like groovy to the max man. Like totally."
You don't have to be a genius to know that Harry ran out of there screaming like a little girl. He wanted to stop right there and leave, to wake up from what clearly was the biggest nightmare that he had ever had but he was pulled forward again the next door.
It swung open on its own, revealing none other that Ron Weasley. Sitting. Happily watching television in a matrix leather jacket ad shades, his hair gelled back with two lightning bolt streaks on either side... and talking on his cellphone. "…yes Dudley I saw it, bloody brilliant movie… Potter? Yeah he's here somewhere the git…yeah I tell you always has to be the blooming hero! Well I better go. Have to meet Draco… yes a date… damn he's so sexy and manly I love him to bits… no Potter doesn't know… ok Dud's seeya."
Harry slams the door shut and leans against it. "This is only a dream. It has to be a dream. Ron and Dudley aren't friends. They can't be…" he wipes the sweat from his brow, his knees feeling weak as again he is pulled forward. The door before him he recognises suddenly and Sirius' bedroom door. He hears giggling coming from the other side of the door. His hand lingers on the door knob, unsure, but when a fit of laugher erupts from the room he tells himself "It can't be worse than Hermione."
It was. Remus and Sirius were both stark naked. Well, semi-naked, as Sirius was spotting a red hood and Remus a wolf tail and a pair of ears. Remus was chasing a giggling Sirius around the room and cooing in a seductive voice, "Come back lover I wanna eat you all up." With that Sirius stopped and wriggled his ass at Remus "Then why didn't you say so in the first place?" Sirius asked right before Remus let out a low seductive growl and tackles Sirius.
Before they could get any farther the door slammed shut and Harry leaned against it, blocking out the moans and growls coming from behind the door. Nothing could be worse that what he just saw, he was gonna be scarred for life! … Um Mentally scarred for life!!
Before he was ready he was moving again, this time to a strangely Lime Green door. He was sure there where no such door in the house thought there it was, gleaming at him. He covered his eyes as the door swung open on its hinges. For a moment he waited and nothing happened, not even a sound was heard. Slowly he uncovered his eyes and curiously looked into the room.
What he saw was looking back at him with large and frightened eyes. None other than Draco Malfoy was spread over Ginny's lap and up until the point when the door opened she had been ginning him a bare bottom spanking. Malfoy looked at Harry shocked and Ginny was blushing to the roots of her flame red hair. Harry grinned self consciously and rubbed the back of his head. "Don't worry, this is just a dream, it has to be, nothing like this or Remus and Sirius playing little red riding hood in there room would ever really happen in real life."
Harry Closes the door behind him, the couple in the room still staring at the space he had been occupying just a second ago. "What does he mean this is a dream?" Draco asks after a minute or three and Ginny just shakes her head as they look at each other puzzled. "Potter sure is a nutter isn't he?"
Smiling now, his little mind, no offence, seemed to have had an overload as he no longer cared what he saw or who. This whole thing was just a dream; he was convinced of this thoroughly. Thus it didn't surprise him in the least that the next door that opened leads him to Voldemort, Voldemort in a bathtub… with mister Quakers the duck.
"Well mister Quakers how do you think we should destroy that despicable mister Potter?" The rubber ducking merely looked at him and, upon being squeaked, quacked. Voldemort was surprised beyond believe when Harry, clothes and all climbed into the tub with him.
"Hello Voldy, and how are you? Fine fine, say could you pass the soap?" At this stage Harry's head falls back and he blacks out of existence, or rather the dream does and he is cast into darkness.
He wakes to the sun shining into his eyes and he sits up and looks around. He is still sitting in the tub as his clothes are slightly damp –what the hell? - He thinks as he sits up and climbs out of the tub. He sees a bit off yellow as he looks down and picks it up, it's mister Quakers the duck and he looks at it puzzled. "It was just a dream, right mister Quakers?" he asks as he exits the room, holding the rubber duck to his chest.
He makes his way to his room, not noticing the lime green door on his left or the two sets of soft snoring coming from the right.