She slipped in the door of their shared apartment hoping that she wouldn't be discovered, but in the back of her mind hoping she would be. She knew she couldn't keep this up much longer. Everyone involved was going to be hurt more than they were already. It really was a no-win situation. She hadn't planned on any of this happening, but it did happen and she can't take any of it back. And to be honest she's not quite sure she would want to. And there's the rub. How can she even think that? That she wouldn't want to avoid this situation in which she currently finds herself?
Placing her keys in the bowl on the hall table she quietly removed her shoes and took off her jacket. As she did this she smelled him on the material. She inhaled deeply, then crossed over to the laundry room and hid the jacket in a pile of clothes to be cleaned. Doing the same check with her clothes, she decided it was best to just strip down here and make sure all evidence of her night with him remained hidden. The last to go were her panties. They were still wet from her tryst. It was spontaneous, and he didn't use a condom. As she removed them, she could feel the stickiness between her legs. Guiltily, she brought one hand down to feel the evidence of her betrayal. It brought back flashes of her night: sex, sweat, laughter, tenderness, and even love. Shaking the images from her mind she couldn't help but think, "How could I let this happen again? And how could I not make sure that we were at least safe?"
She briefly thought of the possible consequences of their actions. She counted the days in her head and realized that it could go either way. She allowed herself a brief moment to think of her life and how it would change if the calendar wasn't on her side. She was shocked that the idea wasn't as scary as she once thought. It would definitely make her life messier, but it would put an end to the cheating and lies once and for all. As she was daydreaming of a possible little girl or boy, she heard her phone beep in her purse signaling a new text message. I'm sorry about tonight. She quickly typed a reply: Don't be. It was my fault too. The phone signaled a new response, but she turned the phone off and went to the bathroom to clean up before slipping into bed.
She didn't want to take the chance of waking him by getting in the shower, so she made do with a washcloth and the sink. She washed her body, paying special attention to the area that was currently a little sore from her extracurricular activities. As she looked into the mirror, she did a double take because she couldn't recognize herself anymore. She wasn't one who had to sneak into her own home after a night with someone who wasn't her fiancé. Her makeup was smeared, she had sex hair, and taking a closer look, she appeared to have a little beard burn as well. She briefly thought of all the people who would be disappointed in her if they could see her now and what she was doing and who she'd become. She was never supposed to be this person. The tears welled up but she refused to let them fall. She had created this situation; she had no right to cry about it.
Finishing up with a quick rinse of mouthwash, she sneaked into the bedroom, grabbed one of his shirts to put on, and slipped under the covers. He was faced away from her, and she debated if she should scoot closer to him. Deciding against it, she rolled over and tried to go to sleep. Sleep, however, would elude her. How much longer could this continue? Did anyone know about them? She was pretty sure a couple of his friends knew, but she was too scared to ask. She had to end it. She knew she had to end it, and yet, the idea of doing so killed her. She finally fell asleep a mere hour and a half before she had to be up for work, conveniently with no decision having been made about her dilemma, thus allowing her to continue in this self-destructive pattern that she had been in for months now.
She woke up to arms encircling her waist and kisses on the nape of her neck. She snuggled back into the solid chest and arms that were holding her, and for a split second she forgot where she was. She forgot who she was with. As she woke up more fully, she stiffened in realization (and hoped she hadn't murmured the wrong name) then relaxed into him. She would not cause suspicion by being unreceptive. She did love him. She was just beginning to realize that maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe it wasn't the right kind of love, but she did love him, and she didn't want to see him hurt. Even though she knew that there was no way around it unless she ended her affair before he found out.
Ugh! She hated that word: affair. It was almost as bad as cheater. The word she had been beating herself up with for the past few months. She honestly never wanted this. She wasn't unhappy. Her fiancé didn't treat her poorly. In fact, he treated her like a queen. He had placed her up on this pedestal, and maybe that is where he went wrong. She was definitely no saint; her recent actions had put that idea to rest. But still, she didn't know why this was happening to her. What had possessed her to risk her relationship with everyone by starting and then continuing the affair?
**
She rolled over and looked at her fiancé's disheveled hair and sleepy eyes and she felt the guilt build up again. She turned her face up to him for a morning kiss. She looked into his eyes and tried to focus on the love she felt for him. She twisted her fingers in his hair and pulled him in for another kiss. This one was to prove a point to herself.
He responded in kind for several minutes before breaking away for air, "Mmm, good morning to you too. I've got an early meeting, but I can do breakfast if you're up to it."
This situation defined their relationship for the last year or so. They never seemed to be on the same schedule. "Just breakfast?"
"Sorry, but yeah. I've got a conference call with London at 8:00 that I have to be on. If you don't have to work late, I'd like to take you out on a date though. It's been awhile since we've done that. Dinner, movie, bowling, people-watching in the park, whatever you want."
She could sense his disappointment over their lack of connection lately, and it made her feel guilty. Despite her guilt, she did want to go with him. She wanted to feel connected to him as well. "Whatever I want, huh? You don't know what you're signing yourself up for, mister."
"Hit me with your best shot, Gilmore."
"Well if this is going to be a true date, you have to pick me up. I can be home by 6, but then I'll need at least an hour to get ready. Is that okay with you, grandpa? You think you can handle being out past 10:00 on a school night?"
"Are you calling me old? Just because I'm not a night owl like you, doesn't mean that I can't hang with the cool kids. Whatever you want, however late you want, I'm all yours."
"Okay. I say we start with dinner, and then play it by ear. And you're not that old…"
***
It had been quite some time since she last anticipated date night. Nevertheless, she was anxious and looking forward to where their night took them; she wanted to make an effort to get back to where they were before he came back into her life. She vowed as of right then it was over. So she rushed home from work and got ready as quickly as possible. As she was applying the final touches of mascara and lip gloss, she received another text message. She wasn't going to let this ruin her night. She didn't want to think about him while on her date. So without reading the message she turned off the phone and placed it on the counter.
**
He knew that the situation between them was reaching a breaking point. He was actually surprised that she had lasted with this arrangement for as long as she had. He could see the cracks forming with each passing day of their "relationship." But he was selfish and didn't particularly want it to end.
Last night he had messed up. In his hurry to consume her, he forgot protection. An occurrence that never happens. He was always "Johnny on the spot" when it came to covering that particular aspect of their relationship. He didn't think that she wanted to have his kid; his feelings on the subject were moot. But if he were honest, he wouldn't mind a little mixture of the two of them running around the house they would share.
He couldn't let himself go down that road of thought. It was bad enough he was involved with her again after the way things ended. He had convinced himself a long time ago that marriage and the ultimate happy ending just wasn't in the cards for him and especially not for them. They tried and failed at the relationship thing. When things were good, they were really good, but the same could be said of the bad times. In the end, the bad times apparently won out and they both decided to it was time to walk away. Love was never the issue, sex was definitely never the issue, but there was always something holding them back from being a happily ever after couple.
From the looks of things, she had decided to walk away again. Only this time, he apparently didn't warrant a goodbye. It was odd, that he never really thought about the fact that she was engaged. She lived with the man that she had agreed to marry, another point of contention…what made him so special that she actually agreed to marry him? Was she really happy with him? Or was she just doing what was expected by settling down and starting a family.
It has been three weeks since their last time together and two weeks since their last communication where he left the ball in her court. But since that time, he began to pay closer attention to the society pages and gossip around town trying to get an insight into what was going on in her life that she would make a break of contact. Had she set a date? Were they married? Had they decided to move? Anything would have been better than this state of the unknown that he was currently living in. As each day passed, he wondered why he had chosen to put himself in this position again.
***
As the weeks passed without seeing him or hearing from him, she began to wonder if she had made the right decision. He put the ball in her court, but she wasn't ready to make any kind of decision regarding their "relationship". She had been making an attempt to get back to the good times she had once had with her fiancé. The more time she spent trying to recapture something she was now convinced was only in her mind, the more she realized how futile her efforts were. As much as she cared for her fiancé, she was not in love with him and never had been. And if he were honest, he wasn't in love with her either. They both were trying to capture something they both wanted but had been unsuccessful in attaining before…and the family connections didn't hurt either. What had begun as helping each other out at society party to ward off all the creeps from hitting on her and all the desperate society girls from hitting on him, grew into a mutual affection and eventually love. It was never supposed to be serious yet somehow the fake relationship turned real, and the next thing she knew they were engaged. She wasn't sure how she would tell him that there was no way they could get married. She wanted to remain friends with him but wasn't sure if it would be possible after she admitted what she had been up to over the last several months. At this point, though, the decision had been made…she couldn't live the lie anymore. There was only one man for her and she currently was not engaged to him.
Another few weeks passed before she was able to work up the courage to talk to her soon-to-be ex-fiancé. She ordered take out and decided that over a private dinner at home would be the best way. Now she just had to wait—maybe a little liquid courage was the way to go. Just as she was opening the wine and pouring herself a glass, she heard his key in the lock. She took a deep breath and poured him a glass as well. "Hey."
"Hey babe. What's for dinner?"
"I ordered Chinese; it should be here soon. Is red okay?" She held out the glass she poured for him.
"Yeah, that's fine. So how was your day? I feel like it's been awhile since we really had a conversation. We never seem to be in the same place at the same time anymore. I'll admit I was a little shocked to see you when I came through the door. Actually let me go change real quick and we can get to it."
She watched him walk out of the room and again tried to psych herself up for the upcoming conversation. Within five minutes he was walking back into the room ready for their conversation. "So I've decided to take a little time off from work. I just need a vacation. So that's how my day went. I talked to Hugo and asked when it would be okay for me to take a couple of weeks off. So how about you? How did your day go?"
She could see the shock on his face about the vacation; they hadn't talked about it before so his shock was understandable. "Wait, how long has it been exactly since we talked? You never mentioned a vacation before. I don't know if I can get time off anytime soon. When were thinking, where did you want to go?"
"Oh, well, I was thinking about going home for a little while. Make the tour of Stars Hollow to see Lane and go to Hartford to see my mom & dad and my grandparents. You know, nothing big. I just need a break from work from the city from everything right now."
"So is this a break from me too?" He got his answer as she broke eye contact and looked into her wine glass. "I see. Do I get to know what's going on here? Is this your way of telling me that you don't really want to get married?"
She was saved from having to answer by the buzz of the door. She would have to give an extra big tip to the delivery boy for his impeccable timing. She paid for the food and brought the containers to the table and steeled herself for what was about to come out of her mouth.
"Look, I was going to talk to you about everything that was going on. But you said it before, we haven't been connecting lately. Either you've been out of town, or I've been out of town, or you're working late hours and I'm already asleep when you get home. There hasn't been an opportunity to talk about this before now. That's why I wanted to talk to you tonight. We need to clear the air, lay everything out there to see if this is what we really want. Not just me, but you too."
"Okay, so let's talk. How long have you been thinking about this? I mean, about not wanting to get married."
"I didn't say I didn't want to get married. I just think there are some things that need to be addressed if we choose to continue in this relationship. I just feel that we were never supposed to end up here, but it became the easy thing. And I don't want to get married for convenience sake. What happens if you meet your dream girl but we've already been hitched? I don't want you to resent me."
"That's great Rory. So we fell into this relationship in an unconventional way, but I had/have every intention of marrying you. I'm not out seeking other relationships, are you? I care about you Rory."
"And I care about you. But are you in love with me?"
"Seriously, where is all this coming from? You've never questioned how I felt about you before. Why now?"
"Because I've always known you weren't in love with me. Just like I've always known that I'm not in love with you. I love you. You are currently my best friend. If we're honest though, it's never been more than that. I've enjoyed being with you, but don't you want more from a relationship, from a marriage?"
"I get what you're saying, but I'm okay with the not being in love part. I do love you. And I think we could be really happy together if you just let us be happy."
"It's not enough for me. The longer we are together, the more I long for the big messy love. I had that once, and while it blew up in my face I would rather that than a happy marriage now that turns into you having many affairs and me not caring while I have my own. We are never going to have that big messy love. Am I wrong?"
He sighed, looked away, and then met her eyes. "No, you're not wrong. We probably won't ever have that kind of love. And if I'm honest, this conversation has been a long time coming. When I heard that your ex was back in town I figured it was only a matter of time before you called it quits. When that didn't happen, I figured you were in this for the long haul. So is it the ex? Did you finally make contact?"
No longer able to keep anything from him, she told the truth. "I have seen him. But it has been about two months since the last time we spoke. And the reason I'm doing this now, is only in small part because of him. I just realized that we were heading down a path that we both initially wanted no part of. Do you remember that party where we met? We were fending off society's who's who because we didn't want that type of life, that type of marriage. That is what we would have if we followed through with this engagement. But how long would it last? And would we still be friends at the end? I guess it took really taking a look at what I once had with my ex versus what we have to realize that I would never be able to live with myself if I married you. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true."
"Gun to your head, did you sleep with him?" Unh, she hated when he did that. By phrasing it like the game they had played that first night though, she thought they might be alright eventually.
"Yes. I did. I'm not proud of it. I hated lying to you. I'm not lying though when I say that it's been a little less than two months since I've talked to him, even longer since I was with him."
"I guess this is where I make my own confession. I haven't exactly been 100% faithful the whole time we've been together. I should let you feel bad for the demise of our relationship, but when you're right, you're right. We would have been miserable. And I guess it's better now than five years from now when we've got a couple of kids and I'm screwing my secretary and you're screwing the tennis instructor at the club. I just wish you would have stopped me before I bought that ring that's on your finger."
Sliding the ring off, she held out her hand for him. He looked at the ring and shook his head at her. "No keep it. I was just kidding; seriously I want you to have it. Pawn it or give it to Gigi."
She leaned into his embrace and kissed him. "I really was happy with you, you know. You are a great friend and you've always treated me like a queen. In hindsight, that might have been the first sign that we never would have made it. No man who has ever put me up on this pedestal has ever lasted too long. I'm no paragon of virtue."
He held on to her for a while longer, looked down at her and smirked, "so do I at least get closure sex?"
She laughed but held on even tighter to him. She would miss this. She would miss him. She looked into his eyes and saw that she had done the right thing today. He was blindsided by her news, but he wasn't devastated. It would have been unbearable for her if he'd been hurt.
***
She was packing for her mini-vacation home when she saw the news that he was seeing someone new. Logan had already moved on. She should have been happy for him, but after everything that she went through she just wasn't. He was supposed to wait for her. It probably would have been good for him to know that though. She had cut off contact while she figured everything out. Apparently she took too long. That thought made her run for bathroom where she proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach. When she finally got herself together, she finished her packing and set out for the comfort of home. She was really going to need it now.
Her first stop was the Dragonfly, but not finding her mom, she said her hellos and spent a little time catching up before she moved on to her next stop. She really wanted to talk to Lane. It was at Lane's house where she realized a new issue was thrown into the mix. She should have put two and two together when the some of her favorite foods made her gag, especially when she couldn't even stomach coffee. Nothing clicked until she saw Lane's boys and really thought about it. Why hadn't she made the connection before?
She began to quietly freak out about where her life was now headed. First, she needed to have her suspicions confirmed. Then she would have to figure out what her plan was going to be. The more she thought about it though, the more the idea began to resonate. She didn't realize she was smiling until Lane asked about it. She quickly changed the subject by asking about Zach's latest tour, which Lane was happy to oblige her by going on about it in detail. She felt bad for not really paying attention to her friend, but in her defense her life was about to completely change and she couldn't help but think about that. She just needed to wait another week to find out because it would get back to her grandparents and in all honesty, probably Logan too, if she made an appointment here.
So what was supposed to be a relaxing, comforting mini-stay in her old hometown, became a tension filled week where her mind was never on the conversations she was having. Her grandparents, bless them, didn't say anything about her preoccupation. Her mother, however, that was a different story. She knew something was up, but by now, she knew when to back off.
**
Rory had never been so happy to see her vacation or time home end. She made an appointment as soon as she could get in. She didn't waste her time with the tests from the store. She wanted confirmation now and she wanted to figure out how far along she was, because that could really shake up her world. Sitting in the waiting room, she looked at all the people—women who looked like her nervously waiting for their name to be called and their lives to irrevocably changed, women at various stages who held their hands on their rounded bellies with secret smiles on their faces, and finally the men that were with their wives or girlfriends with smiles on their faces as they supported those that they loved. It was this last group that gave her pause. Would she ever have that?
Before she could ponder that one too long, her name was called. The nurse drew her blood and while she waited for the doctor to come in with the results and to talk to her, her eyes were drawn to one wall. It was covered with pictures of happy families, smiling babies, kids of various ages, and above the pictures were the words "Wall of Success". That was reassuring. She realized that she was rubbing her own belly and her smile grew. She was interrupted by her doctor.
"Hi Rory. So I hear you're going to be mom. We're going to take a look and see how far along you are. Any guesses?"
Rory's smile grew when her suspicions were confirmed. As for guesses of how far along she was, she was hoping about two and half months.
"Okay, well let's go ahead and take a look and see if we can figure out a due date. When did you say your last period was?"
"I didn't. I'm not really sure, but I think I've missed two now." How had she not figured this out sooner? How could she have skipped two periods and not realized it?
She was not prepared for the cold jelly like stuff the doctor squirted onto her belly. But neither was she prepared for the image that shown on the monitor. There it was. A tiny life was growing inside of her. She didn't realize she was crying until the nurse handed her a tissue. And then they turned on the sound…she thought her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. The whirring sound that was strong and fast made everything doubly real. Seeing was one thing (and to be honest, she could have been looking at her bladder and not known) but hearing the heartbeat inside her cemented the fact that her life was about to change in a major way.
"Based on what you've told me and what we're seeing here, it looks like you're about 11 weeks. Congrats Mom. You're going to get to welcome your bundle of joy in about 6 months. You really need to start taking pre-natal vitamins right away and make sure you cut out alcohol and cut back on caffeine. I'll get you some literature on which foods to avoid. But everything looks good right now. You're kid has a strong heartbeat. See the receptionist and she can set up your next appointment. Congratulations again Rory."
"Thanks." She floated out of the office to reception where she set up her next appointment. She wasn't aware of anything that was going on around her. And she could swear that she could still hear the heartbeat of her baby, their baby.
It was during this mental vacation that she bumped into one of the new moms-to-be in the waiting area. "Sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
"Rory? Oh my God. What are you doing here?"
Oh shit! Why here, why now? "Hi Honor. How are you? I didn't know you were pregnant." She looked down at Honor's growing belly and then did a quick check of her own.
Honor caught the direction of her eyes, and took a better look at her old friend. "So how far along are you?"
"Oh, um, I guess it will come out eventually. I'm almost three months along. But I just found out and I haven't told anyone yet, so would you mind keeping this to yourself for now?" Her mind was spinning, please don't tell your brother, please don't tell your brother, please don't tell your brother.
"It's not my place to tell anyone. So does Michael know? Have you guys set a date yet? I haven't seen anything about it. I had hoped to be invited. Just because you stopped seeing my brother doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?"
"You're right. We can be friends despite my past with Logan. And no, Michael doesn't know; we're not getting married. We talked and decided that it would be best to end things. We were better off as friends, so we are trying to get back to that. It's been a weird transition, but I think we'll make it work for us."
"So you are going to be co-parenting friends? How is that going to work?"
"I am going to make sure that this baby has all the love and family around it that it needs. Michael will definitely be a part of its life because he is my friend." She was saved from further explanation of her non-answer by the nurse calling Honor's name. "Tell Josh I said congrats. And maybe we can do lunch one of these days. You can also help me out with the maternity wear that I will need in the coming months. Bye Honor."
She started to worry about what information Honor would share with her brother. But as she stepped outside and saw a little girl holding her mom's hand to cross the street, all those stressful thoughts fled her mind. She was not going to worry about any of the ensuing drama right now. She was going to relish in her newly declared status as a mommy. Her hand again instinctively went to her belly and again she couldn't keep the smile off her face.
***
It's been almost five months. Five months! Why hadn't she contacted him? According to Honor she broke off the engagement almost three months ago. How could she not get in touch with him? The cryptic text two months ago gave him some hope, but she never contacted him after his response.
Logan had been kicking himself these past few months for letting her call all the shots. He should have never allowed her to retreat from him. He knew that she felt guilty, especially after their last time together. But one thing had become crystal clear in their time apart—they loved each other and they were supposed to be together. He began dating again when she made it clear that she was done with him. But nothing came of that, he was basically living like a monk—albeit one who partook in his fair share of scotch—he hadn't dated anyone since his late date that landed him on "Page 6."
Maybe he could weasel more information out of Honor. Determined in his quest for information, he decided to call his cranky, very pregnant sister.
"Hello long lost brother of mine. It's been over a month since you've last talked to me. When you were in college I expected this. What's your excuse now? Huh? Is being around your pregnant sister that hard?"
"Whoa. Honor, I'm sorry I haven't been out to see you more or called more. I just figured you had more important things on your mind since you're coming up on the due date. Aren't you supposed to be in nesting hyper drive?"
"I'm bored, Logan. Josh is at work all the time. And it's true what they say, have kids and see your friends disappear. And I haven't even had the kid yet. Rory is the only one who will spend any kind of time with me, but that's probably because we're in the same boat. Nobody wants to hang out with the pregnant lady who can't drink or who can't really do long lunches or movies because her ankles are swollen and the kid is sitting on her bladder. So you better get over here and hang out with me, or I'll sic mom on you. I'm serious Logan. I'm going crazy!"
He took a second to register what she had just said to him. "Rory's pregnant?"
The pause on the other end of the line told him all he needed to know. The cryptic text message became less cryptic. But her silence since confused him. Honor finally decided to chime in. "I never said she was pregnant. Just that she is the only one who will hang out with me." At my sigh, she gave up. "Just don't tell her I told you."
"Are she and Michael getting back together then? If they are having a baby?" He hoped not.
"No. She says they are better as friends, so there is no mention of the wedding being back on. She's actually supposed to come over later to help put together the baby's room. Hey, why don't you come over? You two can reconnect and you can help me by doing all the lifting and hanging and moving."
This was his chance to see her. So if he had to move an entire room full of furniture then that is what he was going to do. "What time do you want me to come over?" With a plan in place, Logan looked forward to his day for the first time in months.
**
She had finally really popped and looked pregnant. It's like it happened over night. Even into her fourth month she could wear all of her regular clothes, well except for her bras—those had to be upgraded a month ago. Yes, her pants got a little uncomfortable, but she could still wear everything. Now her pants were mocking her. The zipper couldn't even go up a third of the way. It looked like today was going to be the first in her maternity wearing days. Looking down at the swell of her belly, she rubbed it and said, "Alright, little one, I get the message. You don't like being squeezed into my old pants. I guess you're worth it. But if I can't get back into my clothes once you're here, I'm going to be a little upset with you. Who am I kidding? You've already got me wrapped around your little finger." She giggled as she felt the movement inside her. She didn't think she would ever get used to that. It was freaky and amazing all at the same time.
Rory made her way to Honor's house and couldn't wait to share her latest news. The last time she came over, Honor told her not to bother knocking, just come right in. So that is what she did. "Honor, I'm here. The little one has been doing back flips or something. And I had to break out the maternity…pants." She broke off as she walked into the living room to find her friend and Logan. "Logan?"
"Hey Rory. Sorry I didn't give you a heads up; I tried calling but it went straight to voicemail and I didn't bother leaving a message."
"It's okay. Hey Logan. It's been awhile. How have you been?" Well I guess this is it. It's all going to happen here of all places. Honor gets to find out that she is going to be an aunt and Logan gets to find out that he's going to be a daddy. The ever-present tears built in her eyes as she looked at him. How would he react?
"Hey Rory. It's good to see you, well both of you I guess. And I've been kind of terrible for about three months actually. You? Obviously some things have changed since we last saw each other."
Honor had picked up that there was something more to this situation so she excused herself, "I'm going to go get us all something to drink. Rory, yell if you need anything. Logan, behave."
"Logan, I…"
"It's okay, Rory. I should never have let you retreat the way you did. And I should have realized something was up with the text you sent. But why didn't you tell me? You know that I would have dropped everything to be with you. I hope you know that. You shouldn't be going through this alone. I'm not going to let you do this alone."
The tears finally fell. "I'm so sorry Logan. I know I should have contacted you as soon as I broke things off, but I saw those pictures in the paper and just decided it would be better if I didn't. I didn't know I was pregnant until two months ago. Apparently our last time was very fruitful. I didn't even think…It's no excuse for not telling you about it."
As soon as it was confirmed, he wrapped his arms around her and let her cry while he tried to keep the tears out of his eyes. He was going to be a daddy. That thought freaked him out, but Rory would help him be the best dad he could. He was sure of that. Now he just had to convince her to take him back. They needed to make a real attempt at being together and being a family. "Rory, it's okay. I'm here now. I'm scared as hell, but I'm so happy. Are you happy about this?" He felt her tighten her hold on him and she nodded against his shoulder. "We're going to make this work Rory. I love you and I'm going to love our baby."
It was this moment that Honor chose to announce her presence "Holy shit! Rory, you didn't tell me! When did this happen? "
"Obviously it happened about five months ago." He gave Rory another squeeze before letting her go and tucking her into the crook of his arm so she could rest her head on his shoulder. She was still a little misty-eyed, but she had the beginnings of a smile on her face.
"Don't think I'm letting either of you off the hook, but it seems that you have some things to talk about. I'm going to go take a nap. Let me know later how things go."
As soon as she was out of the room, he looked into Rory's eyes. "So this is real, right? I'm not just imagining it? We're going to be parents? You're not engaged anymore?"
"Yes, no, yes, and no. I really am sorry for not telling you. I should have made more of an effort than one text. But when I didn't hear back from you, I just assumed that you had moved on. I know it's no excuse but I was hurt and I was still getting used to the idea that I am basically a human incubator. I wish you had known though. It would have been good to share this with someone. The first time I heard her heartbeat, I thought my heart would burst from my chest. The first time I felt her move inside me, I wanted someone there with me to experience it. Even this morning getting dressed when she forced me into my maternity pants, I wanted someone there to laugh with me." The more she thought the more her emotions got the best of her. She was not normally a crier, but there was no stopping it.
Logan looked down at the woman he loved who was currently a mess in his arms. He didn't remember her being this much of a crier. She was always good at keeping things together, but he guessed the hormones coursing through were too much even for her. "Rory. It's okay. Would I have loved to know two months ago? Yes. But I'm here now, and we will deal with all the new things together. There's no way I'm letting you walk away again." Then her words began to sink in. "Wait, we're having a girl?"
She nodded and grabbed his hand. As she lifted her shirt, she placed his hand on her exposed belly. As he felt the swell that was there, it all became real. They were indeed a family. Finally. "I love you Logan." "I love you too Rory."