Logan sat on his bike outside Remy's house, watching through the darkness. No lights were on, but he knew Remy was home. His sports car was parked in the driveway. The ride from the school to Remy's didn't take that long but Logan had been sitting out there for quite a while. He could have taken a drive to clear his head, to figure out what he was going to say, but he hadn't been able to think about anything other than to go straight to Remy's. It was as though Logan's bike knew where he wanted to be and had taken him there. It hadn't required any thought on Logan's part at all.
But he still couldn't get his feet to move. He knew if he went inside, everything would change. He had no clue what he was doing. He had no clue how he had gone from the man who everyone thought was crazy for chasing after Jean Grey to the guy sitting outside his best friend's house trying to figure out a way to go in there and tell him...
But exactly what was he going to say? What was he going to say to his friend who had just come out of the closet and kissed another man in front of the whole school. Steve had explained things to him after the incident in the bathroom, and he was sure that was what made Logan determined to talk to Remy.
When Logan saw Remy kiss Steve, he had no idea he was going to feel the way he did. It was like someone had kicked him in the gut and he couldn't breathe. He had no idea why he had even felt this way. And when Steve had pulled Remy out of the gym, Logan had followed. He had stopped only when he saw Mr. Stark standing outside the classroom he could hear Remy and Steve fighting from.
He hadn't stayed around. The way Mr. Stark was standing outside the door was a little odd, even if it had been his classroom, but Logan didn't want to get in the middle of it. When he saw Piotr Rasputin pull Steve into the bathroom, Logan knew he had to help Steve, even if he wanted to punch his lights out himself. He hadn't expected what happened afterward.
"Steve wait," Logan called catching up to him.
"What do you want Logan, I'm having a really bad night. I don't think I can handle anymore crap. It you want to rag on me for the stunt at prom, I really don't want to hear it."
"I'm not going to rag on you Steve, I think what you and Remy did was really brave. It can't have been easy to tell everyone that you two were together."
"We aren't together. It was just for the dance, I never should have done it."
"I'm confused, that kiss told a different story. Are you..."
"Yes, Logan I am gay and so is Remy. But we aren't together. I wasn't expecting Remy to..." Steve sighed, "Why do you care Logan?" Steve stopped walking, staring at Logan. Logan stood staring bleakly at him. "Go talk to Remy Logan, Its not me you need to have this conversation with."
Logan pushed himself from his bike and started to walk around the side of the house toward the tree outside Remy's bedroom window. He'd climbed this tree hundreds of times, thousands, before. His and Remy's relationship had always been close. Maybe that's why he was feeling this way. Logan knew why he was here, but he still couldn't put it into words, not even in his head. But then what was he going to do? Was he just going to kiss him?
Logan's eyes widened at the thought, freezing at the top of the tree right outside Remy's bedroom window. He realized, that's exactly what he wanted. When he had seen Remy and Steve, Logan realized only now that he wished it had been his lips on Remy's, not Steve's. He didn't know how he'd ever admit it to anyone, but here he was going into Remy's room to do exactly that. He had never chickened out of anything in his life, and he hoped he wouldn't now, even though he was feeling the urge to climb down out of this tree and leave without doing a damned thing.
He knocked on the window.
Remy had been laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He hadn't meant for things to go the way they had tonight. He had gotten carried away and gotten Steve more mad at him than he'd probably ever seen him in his life. He had the right, Remy supposed. He was right. They weren't in a relationship, but neither of them were seeing anyone else, so why in the hell was it such a goddamned big deal?
He had done it, hoping to make Logan jealous, but that didn't mean he should have used Steve in the process. Logan had it so bad for Jean, he'd never see Remy the way he wanted him to. He wanted Logan to look at him the way he looked at Jean, but he was sure that would never happen. He would never have Logan in that way, and now that he'd come out and the way he'd come out, he was sure Logan would never even want to look at him again.
Remy practically jumped right off of his bed when he heard the light rapping at the glass of his window. His heart started to jump in his chest. Logan was the only one who would be knocking on his bedroom window, but he wouldn't be here. Would he? Remy pushed himself off his bed. He hadn't even changed after prom. The only things he'd taken off had been his shoes and tie.
Freezing, Remy saw who was at the window. The tapping at it told him who it was, but it didn't change the fact that he was still shocked. The two teens stared at each other through the glass of the window, neither moving, only staring at each other. After a while, Logan let his head tilt back slightly as he rolled his eyes.
"For fuck's sake, Rem, open the damned window."
Not needing another prompt, Remy lifted his hand to unlatch it, pushing the window out toward Logan. Even though he had climbed up here now, Logan couldn't make himself move yet again.
"You just going to sit out there?" Shaking his head, Remy turned around and walked back into his room, deciding now to get undressed.
"What in the fuck were you thinking?" Logan barked, coming in through the window. "You think you can just come out like that and not even talk to me about it?"
Remy turned back to face him, his shirt now unbuttoned, holding onto the sides, shaking his head. "Why in the hell should I have discussed it with you?"
"Maybe because you're in love with me, for one!"
Logan hadn't meant to say that. Hell, he didn't even know it was true, but he had hoped it was, and judging from Remy's expression and lack of response, Logan knew it was true. Taking a step toward him, Logan shook his head.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Remy was lost in the thoughts running around in his head. How in the world did Logan know he was in love with him? Did he know he was in love with him, or was he just pushing him to admit something else? His thoughts stopped when Logan stopped directly in front of him, close enough to reach out and touch, close enough to pull in for a kiss. He closed his fists tightly, forcing himself not to do what he so desperately wanted to do.
"You should have told me."
Remy shook his head. "What was I supposed to tell you? Why was I supposed to tell you? I'll never be your precious Jean!"
Usually, something like that would deserve a fist squarely planted on the jaw, but this time Logan simply stood there in front of him. Remy searched his eyes, hoping for some sort of explanation, hoping to understand why Logan really was here. It surely couldn't be for what he hoped so desperately for. He was so deep in love with him, it hurt him that he would never have him, have the type of love he wanted from him. It hurt.
"What if I said I didn't want Jean anymore?"
Remy blinked, unable to trust his ears. They were just playing cruel tricks on him now, making him hear things he wanted hear, not the words that he was sure Logan was actually saying, but he replied as though it was exactly what he said.
"And what so suddenly changed?"
Logan growled, his eyes narrowing on his jackass of a friend. "Maybe things changed because I found out my best friend is in love with me and I should give the two of us a chance and stop chasing something that will never mean as much to me as what you and I have... could have."
Remy was sure he was now missing a few cards in his deck. What was he missing? How could Logan have gone from being so googly eyed over Jean to be firmly asserting himself into the position Remy so desperately wanting him to be in. There had to be an ace hidden up someone's sleeve somewhere.
"I know when you're bluffing, Logan."
Shaking his head, Logan took another step closer to Remy, coming within a breath of him. "Then you'll know there's no bluff here, Rem. I want you."
There it was. Logan wasn't tiptoeing around the subject anymore. He had come right out and said it. Remy's eyes shot open widely, still not believing this was even happening. He was sure he had fallen asleep on his bed and this was all some cruel joke of a dream. But if it was a dream, he should be able to do anything he wanted, right? And what he wanted...
Lifting his hand up, Remy wrapped it around the back of Logan's neck, pulling him down roughly and quickly, their lips crashing together. Logan hadn't expect this. Remy had been so... standoffish, but now his tongue was demanding entrance into his mouth and Logan found himself allowing the intrusion. He lifted his tongue to the tongue searching his out.
The two tongues thrusted against each other, dancing in a provocative, yearning dance. Each of them wanted this so badly. Remy had wanted it for so very long, and even though Logan hadn't realized he had wanted it, he realized now just how much he did want him now. He wanted him as much as Remy wanted him.
And as much as Remy didn't want to, he had to pull back. They had to talk more about this. He wanted so much to fall down to his bed with Logan this second and get to know each other in a way he had ever only dreamed, but there was so many things that needed to be discussed, so many things they needed to figure out.
"Logan, we can't..."
Logan pulled back, shaking his head in extreme confusion. "What...? I come over here and... and you don't want this?"
"No!" Remy closed the distance between them again, wrapping his arms around Logan's neck, not wanting him to leave. "No, I want this. I want to be with you. God, it's all I've wanted for... God, it's all I've wanted for God knows how long. I know I sound like a girl right now, but I've just gotta know that things aren't going to go back to being the way they were before tonight for us."
"Remy, things will never be like they were before. You're thinking too much, and you're talking way too damn much! We'll figure this out. But right now, I've got to do this. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. There will be plenty of time to talk. I promise."
Neither Remy nor Logan really liked talking, but Remy really felt like things needed to be discussed before they really jumped into anything. However, Logan's words were enough of reassurance for him. He had been afraid Logan was going to run away, that this would be too much for him, but he trusted Logan's word. If he said he wasn't going anywhere, Remy believed him. He had no reason not to.
Nodding, Remy pulled Logan's head back to his to kiss him once more. Logan pushed Remy forward, falling down to the bed with him. Logan had never had sex with a man, and he'd never had sex with a girl in a bed. It's always either been in the locker room, behind the bleachers, an empty classroom, backseat of the girl's car... never in a bed.
Logan couldn't believe he was even doing this, but he realized there was nothing he'd ever wanted more in his life. Remy was his best friend, after all. It just felt right. Logan may have been with most of the girls in their school and then some, but this was a whole new ballgame for him. Usually he could say he was the experienced one, but that wasn't true this time. Now, it was Remy who was the experienced one, and Logan found that turned him on more than anything ever had.
Logan's lips trailed down Remy's neck as he pulled his shirt he had already unbuttoned from his body, tossing it aside. Logan gripped at the wife beater Remy wore, pulling it over his head. Tossing it aside as well, Logan looked back at Remy, licking his lips. He'd always admired Rem's body in gym and when they played ball, but he'd never thought of him sexually... or had he?
Whether he had or not, he couldn't help but stare now. Softly, he laid his hand on his best friend's bare chest. Remy was in excellent shape. Logan had always known this, but being this close to him made Logan's breath hitch in his throat. Slowly leaning down, Logan licked one of Remy's pectoral muscles. Remy gasped, arching his back up off the bed. He was in heaven. He never thought that this dream would ever come true, but here he was with Logan, the man he's been in love with for as long as he can remember, and it's actually coming true.
Logan let his tongue trail down over the muscle, to the valley of the six pack below. He never thought he would actually like this more than a chick's tight stomach, but Logan felt himself grow in his pants the further he trailed down the chiseled mounds. He could see Remy was already aroused, seeking to be pulled free from the restraints of his pants. How could Logan not oblige? Pulling at the clasp, Logan slid his hands down the sides of Remy's pants.
"Oh, mon Dieu dans le ciel, oui!"
His words barely came out above a gasp, and Logan had no idea what he was saying. He took it as an invitation to continue, so he pulled at both Remy's pants and his boxers beneath to get them both off of him. Remy laid there on the bed, naked and wanting this more than ever. Logan looked up at him, taking a deep breath.
"You don't have to if..."
Logan cut him off by shaking his head and wrapping his hand around Remy's staff, looking down at it for just a moment before lowering his head down and slowly taking his best friend into his mouth. This was something he'd never done before, but if he was going to be with his best friend, it was something he was going to have to do and he did it the same way he did everything else, jumping right in.
Remy lifted his ass off the bed by instinct, sending his staff deeper into Logan's mouth. "Oh, mon Dieu, Logan."
His mind was blank. All he was thinking in was his native language, the only thing coming out of his mouth. Logan's mouth was so wet, so perfect to fit all that Remy had to offer into it. Remy was so used to being with someone who knew what they were doing, but even with Logan's lack of experience, Logan was taking Remy like a pro. It was making it hard for him to hold back.
Forcing himself, he spoke in English, "I've got to have you, Logan! Fuck, please!" He grabbed at Logan's head, pulling him up into a rough kiss. He couldn't hold back any longer. Pulling at Logan's shirt, he tossed it aside before moving to his pants. He knew it was Logan's first time, and first timers always did better topping, and that's what Remy wanted. He needed to feel Logan's huge cock in his ass. NOW.
And then he saw it. Once Logan's close were shed, Remy looked down at Logan's cock standing from the thick dark hair at the base. Mon Dieu. He'd seen it oh so often and dreamed of it, lusted after it, but now he was going to get to touch it, to taste it, to feel it. And he needed to feel it. Now. But that required lube. Natural lube was best. Pushing Logan back, he crawled over Logan's legs and instantly took Logan into his watering mouth.
"FUCK, REM!"
Logan pushed his head into the bed. He'd been with eager girls before, but something about the way Remy went at his cock, like a raging animal, made Logan's head spin. No one had a mouth like Remy, and he had barely started.
"Sweet Jesus, Remy."
Pulling back, Remy looked up at Logan. "Take me, Logan. I have to feel you inside me now!"
Logan was left speechless at Remy's words. He had never known Remy not to speak his mind, to tell people what he wants from them, but with what his mouth had just been doing, with what he was asking, what he was telling Logan to do, he found him irresistible.
Remy moved to straddle Logan's lap, spitting in his hand and lubing up his asshole before grabbing Logan's cock and guiding it to his puckered entrance. Logan, regaining his thoughts, gripped Remy, pulling at his hips to lower him onto his cock.
He was tight. Dear fucking Jesus, he was tight. But something told him he'd be tighter if this was his first time, something he knew wasn't. His own ass clenched when he thought about how Remy would feel sliding inside him. He closed his eyes and groaned, not only at that thought, but at Remy's ass swallowing him whole.
"Dear mother in heaven, Remy! Holy fuck!"
When Logan's cock was completely taken in by Remy's ass, Remy started to move on top of him. It was unlike anything Logan had ever felt before. No wonder Remy liked men. Logan was sure he'd never want anyone else again. This was the best fuck of his life, and he never wanted it to end. Fuck, it was incredible. It was beyond words. He'd never felt anything like this in his life. He never wanted it to end.
Remy moved back and forth, up and down, his hips moving in ways Logan never knew someone could move, but thanked the glorious Lord above that he could. He felt his release build faster than it ever did and felt it explode like the Fourth of July, spilling into his lover's ass. Remy had been stroking his own staff and found himself not far behind Logan in his own release, shooting himself all over Logan's chest and up to his chin.
Remy remained sitting on Logan's lap as long as he could before pulling himself off Logan and reaching for a tissue to clean himself and Logan off. Tossing it in the receptacle beside the nightstand, he laid his head down on Logan's chest, feeling better than he ever had after having sex with anyone. He always knew it would be like this with Logan, and he was happy. He was happier than he ever thought he ever could be.
Logan laid in bed with his best friend, battling the urge to run for the door- or window in this case- like he was used to after fucking. Distance. He had promised Remy he wasn't going anywhere, but he'd never done this before. He knew what they were on the verge of here, and he'd never had a relationship with someone. He'd never wanted a relationship with someone. Yeah, he talked the talk when it came to wanting Jean, but if he was truly honest with himself, he knew he could never actually do a relationship with her.
But here he was, laying in bed with Remy, having made a promise he knew he had meant at the time, but the anxiety of all he was committing to was about ready to compound on him. He felt as though he were being backed into a cage and there was no way out. He didn't want to feel like this. He knew he wanted this with Remy, but there were so many expectations, so many uncertainties. He wasn't sure if he could surmount any of them.
"You want to run, don't you?"
Remy's question had cut through the darkness, practically startling Logan.
"I thought you were asleep."
Remy laughed shortly, warm breath puffing over Logan's bare chest. "Are you kidding? After that?" He barely laughed again. "Actually, I could very easily, but I really don't want to."
Logan found himself smiling, thankful Remy wasn't looking up at him. He didn't want him to know just how easily he could get used to this. Well, he wanted to, but that really wasn't who Logan was, and if he let Remy know how he was feeling, especially the conflicting urge to run that he felt accompanying the tranquility he felt. That was what Remy expected of him, and to be honest, that would be more easy to do than to stay here and give into these other, more settling feelings.
"Do we have any idea what we're doing, Rem?"
Remy smiled at the nickname only Logan had for him. He loved it, more than anything, he loved it. "No, but we'll figure it out."
Shifting slightly, Logan sat up, making Remy sit up with him. "This isn't going to be easy, Remy. And I'm not just talking about the world around us and acceptance." He still hadn't gotten his head around the whole idea that he was gay himself, but he wasn't going to focus on that. If he did, he'd be bolting for the door. "I'm not a walk in the park."
Remy shook his head. "Do you really think if I wanted a walk in the park, I'd want to be with you?"
Logan's eyebrows lifted above his eyes, accepting that answer. He supposed not. "Aren't you afraid I am going to run?"
"No. If you were going to run, you would have already." Remy took a deep breath. "I know this isn't going to be easy. Believe me, I've been gay my whole life. Nothing is ever easy."
"How can you be so open about this? How could you come out like you did tonight?"
"I've wanted to do it for a long time, but I couldn't do it on my own."
Logan moved closer to him, shaking his head. "That's why you should have talked to me. We could have done this together."
Remy didn't believe that. He wanted to believe it, but had he not gone about tonight the way he did, made Logan jealous the way he had, Logan would not be here right now. Sure, he may have come around at one point or another, but things wouldn't have gone like they had. Remy knew his best friend and now lover better than that. As much as Logan wanted to believe he could have come out with him, Remy knew it wouldn't have gone over as smoothly as Logan was alluding.
"So, are you saying you want to come out as my boyfriend now?"
Logan gulped, blowing out a heavy exhale of air.
"That's what I thought."
Quickly, Logan shook his head, placing a hand on Remy's shoulder. "I want this with you, Remy. I do, but I don't know how to just jump into it. I don't know how to do the relationship thing. I wasn't sure I ever could."
"Maybe because you knew you could never be with a chick your whole life, or any prolonged period of time really."
Logan couldn't help but laugh at that. He was probably right. Not that he didn't like pussy, but he could never see himself resigning himself to living with the nagging and bitching and moaning that comes from girls all the fucking time. He and Remy worked together. They always had. They had been best friends forever and now that they starting a different kind of relationship with each other, Logan found he wasn't nervous about the prospect of long-term. He wasn't going to pick out China patterns and place settings with him anytime soon, but he definitely wasn't really thinking about running. Even his heart had relaxed, sitting here discussing the two of them with him. He was feeling more and more at ease by every passing minute.
"So, we're really doing this?"
"Unless you want to run."
Sighing, Logan pulled Remy roughly to him, pressing his lips harshly against his. He was going to do his best to convince him he wasn't going anywhere. He was here and this was exactly where he wanted to be. He wanted to be with Remy, he knew he did. The panicking feeling was finally subsiding and, even though he knew he might have anxiety over what they were doing in the future, he was exactly where he wanted to be. He wasn't going to screw this up... or at least, he was going to do his damnedest not to. Remy deserved that much.