A/N: This is my first M rated story. It's just to be safe, but please be warned. Thanks for reading:)
She opened her eyes, hers and Vader's harsh breathing the only thing she could hear. As he lowered his head to ravage her neck once more she moaned. It felt so good. And it was something to keep her mind occupied off of what she had learned from a medical droid the previous afternoon.
Vader lifted his head long enough to bore his ice blue gaze into hers, before dipping down to capture her lips with a fierce hunger.
Their tongues dueled, and Padmé moaned into Vader's mouth from the intense pleasure of it all. Despite the sexuality of the moment she was experiencing Padmé couldn't help but notice the nagging voice at the back of her mind screaming, tell him, tell him. And yet Padmé found herself once again ignoring her common sense and grabbing the back of Vader's head kissing him all the more intensely, leaving him to grunt in arousal. Finally, Padmé forced herself to stop, guilt and reality winning over.
"Wait," she said breathlessly. Vader narrowed his eyes at her. It wasn't in anger, more in confusion, but it still caused Padmé to shiver.
"What is it?" he asked, tracing his hand down the side of her body. Padmé bit her lip, trying desperately not to moan and forcing herself to continue.
"I went to see a medical droid yesterday," she said hesitating. Vader waited patiently for her to continue, resting his weight on his forearms above her.
Seeing that she wasn't going to get a response, Padmé took a deep breath before finishing.
"Apparently I'm six weeks pregnant."
Vader looked at her a moment, his face expressionless, before rolling off of his arms and onto his back.
"I see," he said. That was all. I see. Padmé chewed her lip, waiting, praying for him to say something else.
"You had never suspected something before yesterday?" Vader asked quietly. Padmé felt a soft blush creep up her cheeks.
"Well I've thought for a while but…" she said faltering.
"And you didn't say anything to me," It was a statement, not a question, said with a tinge of annoyance in his voice.
"I'm sorry. I-I didn't want to worry you. I know you've been worried about the formation of the Empire and-"
"And you think that I care about all that more than I care about you? That I wouldn't have stopped what I was doing to talk to you? I may be a selfish person Padmé, but I am never selfish when it comes to you."
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
He resumed his position atop of her and bore his gaze into hers.
"I love you," Padmé declared breathlessly. She waited for Vader's usual response.
"I know," Vader replied, kissing her long and deep.
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She lay perched atop his chest as he slept, her mind racing. A baby. She was going to have a baby. And she was scared out of her mind. She lifted her head to look at Vader and his arms unconsciously tightened around her. Vader. He was young. Too young to be a father. And she was younger. Truthfully Padmé knew more about politics than she did about pregnancy and motherhood. She had been Naboo's young galactic senator until Vader had killed the newly discovered Sith Lord Chancellor Palpatine and created the Galactic Empire.
It had been the last official day of the senate session when Padmé and Vader had first met. She had been at her desk looking over datapads when he had stalked past her office, no doubt on his way to the former office of the chancellor. Padmé had recently read that Vader would be proclaiming himself leader of the new Empire when the Senate Terms were up.
"Milady," he said, entering her office and kissing her hand. Padmé started at the unexpected contact, her face coloring and becoming warm.
"M-Milord," she said hurriedly, suddenly feeling embarrassed and childish as she looked into Vader's blue eyes for the first time. Of course she had seen him on the HoloNet, but he was much more handsome in person.
Little did she know that that encounter would lead to many late night trysts and passionate lovemaking sessions, such as the one they'd had tonight. Padmé ignored the tears she felt. The day they met was almost a year ago, and Padmé had been in love with him for almost as long. She could remember the day she had told him. It was a few months after they had met, and they had just finished making love. She had lain on his chest, much like she was doing now, while his fingers traced light circles on her bare back.
"I love this," she had whispered, placing a kiss to his chest. All of a sudden she felt her heart clench and she began to cry.
"What is it?" Vader had asked. She had shaken her head, not wanting to answer him, for her mind did not know why she was crying, yet her heart did.
"Tell me," he urged softly. She had lifted her head and looked him in the eye.
"I…I love you," she said, almost like she was saying it to herself. He had held her face in his hands.
"Do you swear it?" he asked.
"I would never lie about something as important as this. I truly, deeply love you."
He had almost smiled at her then, and gave her a long slow kiss, before pulling her back down to lay upon him.
Now, as Padmé thought about that day, she remembered how special that moment was.
"I truly deeply love you," she whispered to a sleeping Vader, who only snored in return. She sighed, suddenly feeling depressed about the uncertainty of the future, and even her relationship with Vader. She had meant what she had said to Vader. She loved him with everything she had. And she knew that he cared for her deeply, if not loved her. But the thought of having the child of a man who did not love her in return made her want to cry. It wasn't fair. Not to her, and certainly not to the baby that was to result in their union. Their baby. The sweet precious thing didn't deserve to come into the cold harsh galaxy with parents who didn't even love each other equally. And as much as Padmé tried to convince herself that she loved Vader enough for any amount of people, she knew she couldn't convince her child that that compensated for the love Vader didn't feel for her. What frightened Padmé even more was the information that Vader might not even want their child. Padmé herself was surprised by how much she discovered she truly wanted this baby. She had always wanted children, but there was never time to plan for a family of her own, and when she met Vader, she had automatically assumed that she would never have one. But she knew that while this baby had not been planned, and while truthfully it couldn't have come at a worse time, it was a pleasant and welcome surprise.
She tried to calm her mind with this thought, but she knew that she would not rest. She lay there until the Coruscant sunrise, and gently removed herself from Vader's protective hold, lightly kissing the scar that covered his eyebrow and part of his cheek. She smiled putting her hand to his forehead before wrapping herself with a sheet and looking out the window.
Vader had 'acquired' the penthouse apartment of the 500 Republica Building. Padmé had lived on one of the lower floors and had to admit that Vader's apartment made her old one look like a slave hovel on Tatooine.
She didn't know how long she had been standing there before she heard the rustling of Vader getting out of bed, putting on pants, and coming to stand behind her.
"How did you sleep?" he asked her, as he put his arm around her.
"I didn't," she said hoarsely as she continued looking out the window. He turned her around to face him.
"You've been crying," he said, his eyes roaming over her face. Padmé blushed.
"It's nothing," she said. He quirked an eyebrow at her.
"I want this baby more than anything I've ever wanted in my life," she blurted. He started, obviously not expecting her not to be so bluntly honest. He looked at her, sensing there was more and allowed her to continue. Padmé bit her lip.
"But I'm afraid that you don't want it at all. And I don't want you to hurt it," she said, the tears starting up all over again. She looked at Vader silently begging him to respond.
"Of course I want this baby. I need an heir to rule the empire. And besides that, I've always wanted children believe it or not. But thinking I would hurt a baby?! What kind of monster do you think I am Padmé?" he asked trying to control his temper. Padmé began to cry even harder.
"I am so sorry! Please forgive me! I love you so much, more than I have ever loved anyone! But how I fear you so!" she said sobbing. Vader stepped towards her, ignoring the small flinch she made, and gathered her into his arms.
"I know you do. And you are smart to do so."
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Padmé sat at the edge of her bed, comlink in hand. She knew that she needed to contact her mother, and tell her about the upcoming birth of her grandchild. But they hadn't spoken since Padmé had told her that she was dating Vader. Hesitantly, she pressed the button and contact was initiated. After a minute Jobal Naberrie answered the com.
"Padmé?" Jobal asked in disbelief.
"Hi mom! I've missed you," Padmé said, drawing comfort from the sound of her mother's voice.
"Have you and that dreadful man broken up yet?" Jobal asked bluntly. Padmé winced.
"Well no, but-"
"Gods Padmé, next thing I know you'll be calling me up to tell me that you're pregnant!"
Padmé was silent. She could hear the blood rushing in her ears and feel her heart thudding in her chest.
"Padmé? Answer me Padmé! Padmé Amidala Naberrie tell me that you are not pregnant with his spawn!" Jobal demanded angrily.
Padmé's temper flared.
"No mother, I am pregnant with his baby, and we are both very excited!" she yelled into the small device before hanging up and throwing the comlink against the wall, ending by shrieking into the pillow. She turned herself over and looked up at the ceiling.
"Why can't anyone ever be happy for me?" she wondered aloud.
"Who can't be happy for you?" a voice from her right asked her. She turned her head and saw Vader standing there.
"Hi," she said, beginning to smile. She held her hand, splaying her fingers against the comforter, gesturing for him to come and be near her.
"I can't stay for long," he told her. But he lay down next to her and gently canted her hips towards him, placing both their hands on her stomach. She saw the corner of his mouth working his way up, almost as if he was going to smile. Her heart fluttered, for she had yet to see him do that. But unfortunately, it was more like a twitch than a smile, and she sighed.
"You called your mother didn't you?" he said.
"Yes."
"And you told her about the baby."
"Yes"
"Why?" he asked, probing further. Padmé sighed again.
"I thought that my parents and Sola deserved to know. After all, they did put up with me for the first twenty years of my life."
"Ah, but it is I who got your twenty first. Well, almost." He said. Padmé giggled.
"That you did my love. And I cannot tell you enough that I am happier this year than any other year that I've lived," she said, brushing a stray curl away from his face.
"I'm glad," he said solemnly. He looked as if he was about to say something else, but his comlink buzzed and he bit his lip.
"I have to go. I'm sorry. I'll see you tonight." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and then was gone. Padmé sighed and curled into his pillow. She loved him so much. She just hoped that he would someday return that love.
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Padmé received an invitation to dress for dinner that night. She was a bit surprised, as well as confused, but nonetheless choose a formal dinner gown with matching jewelry, as well as arranging her hair into an elegant bun. As she made her way toward the stairs that led towards the dining room, she was met by one of Vader's guards.
"No Milady. Milord insists that you use the turbolift." Padmé again was confused, but nodded her head and arrived to the dining room via the turbolift. As soon as she entered the room, Vader stood and bowed, pulling out her chair, gesturing for her to sit. Padmé thanked him, but couldn't for the life of her figure out what was going on. As soon as the appetizers were served and all the staff had left the room Vader looked at her.
"My name is Anakin."
"What?" Padmé asked, unsure of anything else to say.
"My name. It's Anakin. Surely you didn't think my true name was Darth Vader, did you?" he asked with one eyebrow raised. Padmé looked down at her plate, for in truth that was exactly what she had thought.
"I can never know with you."
"My mother used to call me Ani when I was a child."
Padmé smiled at that, thinking of Anakin as a child, imagining if their son would look that way if they had one. She looked at him and could see he seemed nervous, something she had never seen in him before. He still retained his usual cold expression, but she could tell that he was agitated.
"We were slaves. On Tatooine. When I was nine, Palpatine murdered my mother and raised me in the ways of the Sith. I only killed him recently because he had completed training me, and I wanted to betray him. His death had nothing to do with lust for power, or whatever the foolish HoloNet reports believe. It was out of respect for my mother and her death."
"Oh Ani, I'm so sorry." She saw him flinch when she used his nickname, so she took his hand, and he kissed hers in return.
"I am creating the Empire not as a dictatorship, but as a way to ensure that nothing like that will ever happen again, to any child. At least I'll try. My first official act as emperor will be to send the Clones to Tatooine and all the other Hutt-controlled planets to free the slaves."
Padmé smiled.
"You're such a good person. I've always known that," she whispered.
Her heart ached for him, and she suddenly felt guilty for wondering why he wouldn't love her. Obviously he hadn't had the chance to love, or even get close to someone since his mother. It would take some time before he would be able to admit that he loved her.
"Are you hungry at all?" he asked her.
She shook her head.
"Will you come with me onto the balcony then?" he asked.
Padmé nodded. He placed her arm in the crook of his elbow and led her to the balcony that was right off the dining room. She leaned her head against his shoulder.
"Thank you for telling me about your mother Ani," she said quietly. He didn't respond, so she just gazed at the setting sun.
"You love the sun. Just how it rises and sets. How it looks against the clouds," he remarked. Padmé's heart fluttered. He had actually noticed!
"I notice everything about you Padmé. How you like to be touching me, even when you're asleep, how lately you rub your stomach when you daydream about the baby. I must say, you have beautiful dreams," he remarked.
Padmé wrinkled her nose in confusion.
"How do you know all that?"
"Well-" he was embarrassed now, "I can read your mind. It's not that I do it often. I just-I wanted to know what you were really thinking."
Padmé sighed.
"If you wanted to know, you could have just asked. I have never lied to you Anakin. Even before I fell in love with you."
He became quiet then and she continued looking at the sunset. Until she realized he was looking at her.
"Ani? What's wrong?"
She put her hand to his forehead.
"You're all sweaty! Are you sick?"
"No, I-" he stopped and let out a groan.
"Are you sure you're not sick? You're starting to worry me Anakin."
"I'm fine. I just-" he took something out of the pocket of his tunic.
"Will you marry me?"
Padmé stared at him.
"What?"
She searched his face. He looked deathly ill, on the verge on vomiting, and in his hand was a Corellian Princess Cut Diamond. She didn't know it, but the diamond was 24 karats and was the rarest one ever found to date.
"Will you marry me?" he repeated.
"Yes. Of course. But Anakin you have to tell me what this is all abo-."
She didn't get to finish, for he had pushed her up against the wall and kissed her ferociously. As she was gasping for air, he placed the ring on the ring finger of her left hand. She couldn't help but admire the way it shone in the light of the sunset.
"You are mine now," Anakin said.
"I always was," Padmé whispered. Anakin's steely gaze bore into her.
"I suppose you're right."
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Later, as they lay together, Padmé smiled at her fiancée.
"When can we get married?" she asked, suddenly wincing at the stupid question.
She knew he was busy, especially right now, and yet she wanted to get married before the baby started to show.
"That depends," he answered
"On what?"
"The type of wedding you want," he replied.
Padmé thought about it for a moment. She had wanted a big wedding, but with the absence of her parents and sister, and with the added stress planning a large ceremony could place on the baby, a smaller one would most likely be for the best. Besides, who wants a wedding with four hundred people they don't know anyway?
She voiced these thoughts to Anakin, who agreed.
"A big wedding would be too confusing anyway. Besides, I have a good reason not to invite the clones."
Padmé would have laughed if that hadn't reminded her of one thing.
"Anakin, you haven't…told anyone about the baby, have you?"
"Well…" he started sheepishly.
Padmé buried her face in her hands.
"Who?" came the muffled reply. Anakin sighed deeply.
"I only told my friend Kitster." Padmé raised her head.
"Kitster? Who's he?" She asked. Anakin sighed.
"He was my best friend on Tatooine. He wasn't a slave but we lived right near each other in Mos Espa. When I Palpatine took me, I didn't think I would ever see him again but when I got a little older I looked him up and we started talking again. We'll have him over sometime."
Padmé still wasn't too comforted but if he was Anakin's actual friend he had to be a good person. She still had to make her fiancée aware of her concerns.
"And you're sure he won't tell?"
"He is sworn to secrecy. With spit and everything."
Padmé smiled, snuggling in closer to Anakin. That is, until yet another thought came to mind.
"Ani," she said softly.
"Yes?"
"You didn't ask me to marry you just because I'm pregnant, did you?" she asked timidly. She could feel him hesitate.
"Well, no. I've always intended to marry you, from the moment you swore you loved me. It's just that you're being pregnant gave me a reason to ask you now."
Padmé nodded accepting his answer.
"Do you promise me that's true?"
"Yes. And in return you must promise something for me as well."
"Anything," Padmé replied immediately.
"When we are in public together, you must never call me 'Anakin', or anything that may reveal my true identity." Padmé nodded.
"Alright, but may I ask you why?"
"I must always maintain the outward appearance of the fearsome Sith Lord, Vader. Anyone who knows anything else may use it against me, to harm me." He didn't look at her.
"Or you."
Padmé's breath caught. She knew that Anakin was right, but it scared her. He seemed to notice her change in mood and wrapped his arms tighter around her.
"Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."
She smiled at him and curled into his side, letting herself fall asleep.