I know. I know. 'You have other shit to do, Wyverntooth!' an' all that shit. But I rewatched the Goonies movie, an' I wanna give their kids a chance. We've seen the Goonies do crazy shit, let's see what their kids can do. Everythin' the kids do is entirely fictional and should never be attempted as some of wha they do is impossible...I don't own the Goonies an' I'm fine with that 'cause I like Steven Spielberg's work.
Character narration
"Normal speech"
'Paraphrasin'
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The sun rises, the moon sets, and each day brings new experiences that are unique for everyone. But there was one day, that changed the lives of my twin sister, my friends and I that we will never forget... The room was dark, and that's all one of them could see. The other one had messed with his body in ways that should never have been attempted, but he could see fine in the dark like it was just shade under a tree with the moon beaming down. "Well this sucks." Said a male voice of relative depth, startling his companion in the darkness.
"It's going to do more than suck for you two, kids!" A muscular, deep pitched masculine figure said in the darkened room as he flipped a switch to reveal a man with bronze-brown hair and a muscular physique. He had a George Micheal shaved mustache and beard, his hair was slicked back and he stood at about six feet, give or take. "Shit/Shit!" Said the other two in the room.
The young man who'd spoken earlier had a similar colored hair as the man before them, he had muscle but he wasn't as muscular as the football-coach's-dream-player before them, and he had his hazel brown eyes squinted in the bright lamplight. He was wearing an A-shirt like his father in front of them, revealing his four pack abs, his hands were covered by fingerless biker's gloves, while he wore a pair of camouflage jeans and had on steel toe boots. This young man was named Xander 'Sly' Walsh.
His twin sister was the same height as him, five-foot-nine-inches. But that's about where their similarities ended. She had her mother's chocolate brown eyes, she was leaner than her older-by-a-minute twin brother while still retaining a muscular and feminine figure, her legs were toned as could be seen from her yoga pants, her sneakers were worn yet functional but bloody for some reason, her shirt said in bold letters 'BVB Forever', and her biker gloves were snugly fit to her hands. Her hair was a dirty-blonde color that she'd swept to one side, covering one side of her head while the other side was shaven to a fuzz. Most people wouldn't have noticed these things about her though, except for her legs, because most people were more focused on her large C-cup chest and other feminine qualities. On her head were a pair of shaded goggles that she kept around for comfort and-"Here you go, Sly, put these on so you can see properly..." She sighed, handing her twin her goggles. This lovely, young lady was named Alexandra 'Gadget' Walsh.
"Thanks, Gadget," He said gratefully as he put the goggles on over his sensitive eyes, "I really shouldn't have hacked my eyes like that so fast...Ah well, IQ of one hundred sixty-two and we still need to learn things!" An attention-grabbing cough was heard from across the table, directing their focuses to their father, Brandon 'Brand' Walsh, and runner-up for mayor of Goon Docks. He was wearing khaki pants, a loose-fitted shirt and his old, trademark bandanna-around-his-forehead. But it was his 'you pissed me the fuck off' look that got the twins attention, "What did you this time?! Last time it was the fire alarm and the electrical system, the time before that it was Data's tools and the time before th-?!"
"We were getting beat on again, how do you think we were going to act, dad?!" Gadget's risen voice and glare was reciprocated by her father, "PUTTING THE CULPRITS IN THE HOSPITAL IS YOUR IDEA OF SELF DEFENSE?!" He'd yelled at them, this wasn't normal nor was it an unknown phenomenon, this was just something that didn't happen often. Brandon had made a promise to be patient with his children the day they were born from Andy's womb, and he'd held up to that everyday, but even the Buddha have limited patience. (No offence to any Buddhists readin' as it's a bit of a stereotype, but I've met Buddhists and every time I ask about it they tell me that Buddhism teaches a great deal of patience)
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, "Okay...who started the fight this time?!" Sly looked to his sister worriedly, he'd always hated initiating fights and when he needed to fight he always tried to make it quick. Gadget wasn't fond of fighting, but she wasn't afraid to either. They were always being picked on as kids and had to ask their parents for lessons in self defense. Andy, their lovely mother, had always been against fighting of any kind, but when she'd heard that Troy's brats had been bullying her 'babies' she let Brandon teach them how to brawl. The two of them had even developed their own fighting styles from those brawling lessons, making sure they could keep the fights short and make sure their opponents were always on their toes.
"It's..." She hesitated, "Yes?" Her father sat down, leaning forward slightly, silently urging her onward. "...our fault this time. They were looking at us, ready for a fight and they even had weapons with them, what else were we supposed to do?!" She started tearing up slightly, she and her brother hated causing trouble for their parents. Gadget had always been the maturer of the two, acting as the big sister for her big brother, but there were moments that anyone would be reminded that she was still the baby sister.
"Hey, it's okay. You didn't mean to break Josh's balls, it was an accident, I understand that. But we still have to apologize to Troy and Linda for what happened. Now, what about the other two boys, what did you do to them?" He said this with a hand on his daughter's shoulder, squeezing comfortingly, when he saw his son's hand rubbing his.
"I dislocated their arms..." Sly said guiltily, taking off his gloves and revealing that he'd bloodied his knuckles from punching the boy's-they'd-fought too hard, "I-I didn't mean to...to...t-to..." He stuttered and held his face in his hands, feeling like a murderer as if he had hit any higher than the shoulder he could have killed the poor boys.
"To bring yourself that close to killing someone, is that it son?" The young man of fifteen nodded guiltily, the very idea of killing unless necessary was despicable to the twins due to their upbringing. "He tried to ram Gadget, and I-I-I just...I struck him before he could get too close, when he screamed. Mark pulled out a bat and went to bust it over my head, so I-I reacted on instinct...dislocating his arm as well." Brandon nodded silently. He was only fourty-five and here he was: father to twin teenagers with IQs of one hundred sixty-two each, potential runner-up for mayor and husband. Where did his life take a turn for the weirder?
"C'mon kids, let's go get you two to school and talk about this after, hmm?" He said this with a comforting smile, getting the twins to return the gesture, albeit meekly. The sheriff walked in from behind the oneway-viewing window with a file on his clipboard, "You're free to go, kids, try to stay outta trouble, yeah?"
They nodded and straightened themselves up before looking to their old man, "Ready/Ready." Nodding, he lead them out of the sheriff's office.
A block away from the school, 7:30 A.M.
We were never the most athletic, never the greatest artists or mathematicians, but boy could we move! I was a free-runner at heart and Gadget was a all about the track... Taking up readied positions, they took off. Sly ran up the side of a shed and flipped onto its roof, allowing him an opening to get into the nearby tree. Gadget took off down the road, determination in her eyes as she ran past houses she'd seen a hundred times.
Dogs behind a fence started barking, startling her and throwing her momentum off before she tucked in and rolled back to her feet. Sly flipped right over her head on a roof and onto a slow moving car nearby, smirking at her as he passed right over. Noticing the smirk, Gadget grabbed something off her belt and tossed it onto her brother, magnetizing him to the car, "Cheater!"
"Hahahahaha! Meet ya at school, Slow-Poke!" Just to emphasize her point, she ran up the side of a nearby wall and flipped over the car with a cheeky smile on her face. Not on to be out done, Sly bent down to the magnetic strings and chewed threw it, "I've been training my jaw strength for situations like this, Gadget, you really need to think ahead..." He rolled down the windshield of the minivan, catching a glimpse of Marian 'Merril' Cohen -"Merril?" In the passenger seat of the minivan sat a girl at least a year younger than him, her hair the color of onyx and a heart that had helped the twins live in a town where they had few to no friends.
"Sly? What the Hell are you doing on top of my dad's car?!" The mentioned dirty-blonde haired man looked to away from the road to notice, "Xander? Why are you on top of my car?!" Sly chuckled and scratched the back of his head, "Uh, would you believe I'm out on a jog?" They gave him sceptical faces after exchanging a glance, "No/No." Seeing that he was losing ground on his sister, he said, "Gottagonowbye!" And he took off running, leaving behind him a confused fatehr and daughter, making him bark with laughter as he ran up and rolled onto the roof of a nearby house.
Looking back, Gadget saw her brother sitting on the hood of the car he'd been on, while catching a glimpse of Merril. "Oh, he's gonna have a fieldday talking to her, after all-Wait, where'd he go?!" Speaking of the devil, Sly tuck-n-rolled right in front of her before taking off again. They'd been on this run before, knowing every in and out of the path as they caught sight of the school's parking lot. "I bet I'm gonna beat you like last time!"
"Yeah right," Gadget retorted, "like you could ever beat me!" Suddenly, Lawrence passed them by, grabbing something from in the back of the van, "Sorry kids, but if you kept the fact that you're racing again under wraps, Marian wouldn't have wanted me to beat you two. Also, heard about your visit to the sheriff's office, can't say I don't have mixed feelings about it, but I'm sorry you two got mixed up into something like that. And since you two forgot to pack your bags again, and your house is on my way to work and to dropping off Marian, I gotcha your bags. You're welcome!"
Literally tossing the bags out of his window, Sly rolled forward and caught both of them before tossing one back to his sister, an off day had just gotten a whole lot more interesting.
Timeskip, lunchtime
Gadget sat underneath the tree, alone as always when the kids they'd fought decided to show themselves, "If isn't Watermelon-heads Walsh, forever alone so much that your no-good, useless brother abandoned you too, huh?!" Out of nowhere, two other boys ran from behind the tree and punched two of the boys in the side of head, smashing their heads together and making them start whimpering in pain. The leader of the trio turned around, only for the roundhouse kicks of both boys to hit him on the sides of his head, making him groan as he fell to his knees.
Sly jumped out of the tree, landing in front of the douche who'd dare insult his baby-older sister, "When will you learn that insulting people only brings you more pain, Martin?!" He drew his fist back before bopping the bastard on top of the head, knocking him out. Turning, Sly looked to the brothers who were now fighting again. Roy 'Seth' Devereaux and Mel 'Lure' Devereaux were the half-brother sons of Clark 'Mouth' Deveaux and Stephanie 'Stef' Steinbrenner. Seth and Lure were always fighting, constantly bringing each other to the ER over literally nothing whatsoever.
Seth had been born from Clark's first marriage, a woman who'd died in a car crash when he was two, and Mel was born from the second marriage with Stef. The older of the two wore a zipped-down, red hoodie over a black shirt with a red arrowhead. His hat was black with red lettering, that read, 'Arrow'. As he jumped kicked, the sunlight's rays could be absorbed by his pitch black jeans and red filas. On his belt was a black Bizarro Superman symbol with a white background. Over his eyes were sunglasses with red frames. It was painfully obvious what his favorite colors were. Seth's hair was a dark brown with blonde highlights while his eyes were a fine color of blue.
His slightly younger brother, Lure, was dressed in a way totally different. Lure was wearing cargo pants of a forest camouflage pattern, his long sleeved shirt had a similar pattern on it from bottom to top and his hiker boots were a dark brown. He wore less flashy things compared to his brother, but they were polar opposites in many regards. Lure's hair was a coal black while his eyes were a soft hazel color. The younger of the two half-brothers was an expert with lures and animal calls, getting his nickname as Lure. Seth had no real reason behind his nickname, other than it just sounded better and it fit him in some odd way. Although only half-brothers, they had almost the exact same physique: Healthy amount of muscle, decent amount of fat and lean enough for fast paced movement.
Merril appeared out of the blue and pushed the fighting brothers apart, "If you keep fighting one of us is going to call the principle on your asses, so chill the heck out." Gadget looked up from her ponderings, just now realizing that the sons of her father's high school rival were on the ground unconscious, "What I miss? Hey, Merril, Lure, Seth, when'd you get here?"
Sly slapped himself in the forehead with a sigh, "God damn it, Gadget, now's not the time nor the place to go down the Rabbit Hole. Anyway, Merril just got here while the Street Fighters back there," He jerked a thumb behind him, indicating the fighting brothers, "were here the whole time and were just waiting for the 'Fearsome' Threesome at our feet, here." The older-yet-younger of the twins climbed back up into the tree, resting easier in a high place than on the ground where he was vulnerable. Just as he passed her, Gadget noticed the dusting of his cheeks from being close to..."Hey, Merril, what're you doing here, at the 'Castaways Tree'?"
(If it seems like I'm over sexualizin' the girl's, I'm sorry, but I've gotta try to be a better writer an' I've gotta make sure I don't leave out any details someone would notice at first glance about these kids. If I'm overdoin' or underdoin' their sexual qualities, I'm also deeply sorry 'cause I'm still only a year-old, author-wise) The teen woman before them was desirable, just like Gadget was, only difference was their place in the hierarchy of the school. Merril's hair was short, her eyes were naturally wide which made them look larger than they were and were the color of freshly tilled earth. She had a relatively large bust for a fourteen year-old, just under Gadget's C-cup breasts, resting her at seventy-seven centimeters while Gadget was at a nice seventy-nine centimeters. The difference in bust size, although small, was a huge impact on the pride of most girls in school. She wore a green tanktop covered by an equally green and figure-hugging jacket, her jeans were a nice shade of bluish-green and the sneakers were a bubblegum pink. She had no earrings, necklaces, rings, or bracelets on her body.
That's when she realized something. "Hey, Sly?" Getting a curious and polite 'hm' of acknowledgement, she continued, "When did you get that tattoo over your eye?" He looked down to her and revealed that he did indeed have a tattoo over his eyes, the black tomoe of the Taoist symbol that covered half of his face with his right eye as the white dot inside.(I keep gettin' the names of what each tomoe represents, sorry if I offended anyone by not bringin' the name out, but I can't get the names straight)
"I," Sly said casually, "got this so I can remember which side of the coin I am...Gadget did the same for a different reason." Gadget nodded, showing off the white tomoe that held her left eye as the black dot. "No one notices 'cause my skin's pretty pale and if anyone saw Sly they'd think he either screwed with something he shouldn't have-" Seth piped up at that, "A.K.A. Everything." He was then punched in the face, making him fall back.
"Or got into a fight again with Martin, Edward, and Jacob." (Yes, I used Twilight's two main guys, so what? I get that I've got readers who're probably huge Twilight fans, but seriously: Vampires aren't supposed to sparkle in sunlight. In the original Dracula, vampires lost their power in sunlight and it caused their skin to boil like it was burnin' or meltin' but that's 'bout it. Also, the werewolves in Twilight aren't actually werewolves. If ya go to the wiki, you'd find that the technical term's shapeshifter and that leads to a lot of misinterpretations. Sorry 'bout the rant, but I just had to get that off my chest)
The relaxing atmosphere was a rarity they could afford for once, minus the boy's fighting, but that was normal for them. A slight purr-ish noise came from the tree directing the attention of the girls to Sly, who had fallen asleep on a sturdy, low-hanging branch not too far above the two girls. Gadget looked up to him and smirked mischievously, "Hey, Merril..." His twin's dangerous tone woke up the sleeping, cat-eyed bastard with a fearful expression on his face.
Said onyx-haired popularity magnet looked to the girl seated at the base of the tree before her. "What?" The smirk on Gadget's face was a warning sign for Sly as he could tell his younger-older sister was plotting against him, "...shit..." He whispered as Gadget said in a nonchalant voice, "You do know that Sly's always-" "SQUIRREL!" Jumping down at that moment, he landed between the girls with a feline grace as he ran after a squirrel.
"What's he doing? He'll never catch h-" "Caught you, Squiks." And there, in Sly's arms curled into a ball, was the squirrel they'd raised from a chittering squirrel pup into the albino squirrel they knew today. Squiks had fallen out of his tree when a storm came around, it was by chance that the Walshes found him when they did or he wouldn't have made it. He had grown up fine, just a bit too friendly around people. Squiks was pretty intelligent for a squirrel, not enough to read books or perform tasks when asked, but he understood that Troy's sons weren't friendly. Deciding to leave Sly's arms, he scampered up the tree with Sly close behind him.
And the earlier conversation was forgotten, leaving the little group with a moment of peace they so rarely had. They weren't about to let the calm pass them by...
Timeskip, four hours
"Brand, where are my babies?" Looking 'up' from his exercise with the leg-hangs he still had, he saw his gorgeous wife in the doorway with the roughdraft of her newest book. "They should, and knowing them as we do I use the term loosely, be out with the kids since they finished their homework for today and next week at school. Thank God, Goondocks High is a magnet school, right? If it weren't..." He shivered, knowing how their twins got when they had nothing to do.
"Down the Rabbit Hole they'd go, and then my poor babies would never come out of the lab!" Andy hugged herself with a melodramatic crying, acting like a mother whose children were going through the Terrible Twos. Brand's wife had light brown hair, her eyes a soft chocolate and her body had filled out since their days as the Goonies. Where once her bust was an attractive and humble seventy-six B-cup (I'm not tryin' to over sexualize the features of our ladies, I'm just tryin' to give a vivid picture. Plus, in the movie's timeframe, a B-cup bust size was what made men go *whistles as an example*. Yeah, that reference sucked) she was now an impressive and seductive eighty-seven D-cup. Her legs had become more toned from her cheerleader days and her hips had widened as her waist was still slim but had still retained a bit of surface area to remain healthy. Her demeanor was gentle and sweet, just like a normal mother, but she was stern and aggressive when she needed to be.
She had found her calling in writing stories varying from historical-fiction mystery murders to fantasy and scifi-smutty romance, but her proficiency was thrilling adventure comedies in realistic fiction. Her first book had been about their adventure in search for One-Eyed Willy's treasure trove, and it was a bestseller with the help of a kind and famous producer by the name of Steven, Steven Spielberg. (Nod to my sensei comin' up 'ere quick!) Her current project was a story based on her children's ideas from their younger years, a dimension-travelling man breaks his interdimensional-travelling device and gets lost in the multiverse of worlds.
What they didn't know, was that Troy's bastards had bitten off more than they could chew for the possibly last time. Sly and Gadget stood there, glaring at the assholes they'd been bullied by ever since they could remember, as the three yelled as one, "YOUR PARENTS ARE GETTING DIVORCED!" And that shut up any retort they could come up with. They were geniuses, able to out-think these dildos no problem, but that was too hard to comprehend for them. There parents loved them both equally and loved each other to death, but the idea of their parents divorcing and having to go to court for custody over them was something that made their brains short out. There they stood, still as statues with wide, fearful eyes at the idea of their family splitting up was a terrifying prospect.
Their family, blood or not, had been feeling empty after Uncle Sloth passed away after his heart failed due to a heart disease. And those five words they'd been yelled at with, were world breakers. Mark, Jacob and Edward ran at the stunned twins, intent on teaching them a lesson for beating them every time they fought for so long. But just as the three brothers were about to draw first blood, three of the old Goonies group came upon them. Richard 'Data' Wang, Clark 'Mouth' Devereaux and his wife, Stephanie 'Stef' Steinbrenner-Devereaux, stepped out of their car just as they came on the street the teenagers were on and ran at the trio who would hurt their friends' kids.
Clark had grown his hair out and stood at a reasonable five-foot-eleven. He had taken up his father's job as a plumber, so he didn't wear anything too nice but nothing repulsive. His shirt was plaid and a button-up that he left open to show he had a shirt underneath that read 'Latin is what let me into your heart', his boots were made for traction and his pants were loose jeans that thankfully didn't show his ass like was popular in modern fashion.
Stephanie hadn't changed her hair style, just dyed it to be bubblegum-pink. Her height was about the same, but that was due to the fact that she still held baby fat from being pregnant. She was by no means fat or chubby in any way, shape or form, but she wasn't as scrawny as she used to be. (We know she was scrawny in the movie, so no shit 'bout that) Her legs were toned, her arms now held some muscle from helping her husband when he needed an extra hand and the boys were out, and her figure had changed from that of a twig to that of a young athlete since she now worked as the gym coach for one of Goondocks' elementary schools. Her glasses were no longer a problem, as she now wore contact lenses.
Richard was still wearing that jacket he had from their younger years since it had been too big for him when he wore it as a Goonie, now it fit perfectly and he had become a successful inventor as well as a well-established mechanic in all of Goondoocks. His hair was still coal-black and he still carried around his backpack a lot, but the gadgets he made were well hidden instead of in his lunchbox like his days as a Goonie. Out of his sleeve slid a homemade-with-Gadget's-enthusiastic-help hook-launcher. Shooting the round-hooked line at the trio, he hit Edward in the leg which threw his trajectory off and caused him to hit his brothers.
Sly and Gadget stood there, not even realizing that they were inches away from getting hit with a rounded hook or sneaker-wearing feet. The sound of Stephanie's voice calling them to wake up had an effect as Sly's forcefully-slitted eyes narrowed and he launched himself at the douche bags who had the gall to insult his family. Gadget pulled out one of her own inventions, a clawed device that went over her hand as she shot it at the other two bastards. Richard had taught her everything she had learned on how to make gadgets and devices since she had taken an interest after seeing his household utensil-made nightvision goggles.
The claw went flying at Jacob and Mark, their eyes wide until Clark's hand grabbed the rope-like cord Gadget had shot, making him wince as he yanked the claw back and stopping it from reaching the boys' heads by a centimeter. Before Sly could reach the assholes, Clark tackled him, rolled to a stand and caught the bastard boys in a three-way headlock. "What happened?"
His calm voice was unnerving to the teenagers, getting the boys to stop any struggles they might have had and stopped the twins from going rabid. Richard and Stephanie reached them, their eyes full of anger at their extended niece and nephew for fighting. Gadget and Sly looked to the ground guiltily, their eyes sad but their anger nowhere near diminished.
"What happened?!" Clark's angry voice made Jacob say hastily, "They started it! We're innoce-Ack!" The strength of the headlock Jacob was in was now more, shutting him up but nowhere close to suffocating him. "I won't ask again, what happened?!" His voice had risen, making the twins tense and the other two previous Goonies glance at each other. Lure and Seth's constant arguing, roughhousing and altogether violent encounters were enough of a hassle to make any man testy.
"...They said mom and dad were breaking apart..." Was Gadget's weak response, her intertwined guiltily while Sly slouched sly-ghtly (Yeah, that's horrible) and backed up a little, the look of shame in his eyes evident. The three previous Goonies exchanged a glance, nodding as they each took one of Troy's bastards and lead them off.
"You two head home," Came Stephanie's kind, understanding yet stern voice. "We'll deal with them."
"Don't even worry about it, we'll have them sorted out this time, permanently!" Richard's venomous tone was a plead for the assholes to make a move that would give him a reason to hurt them. "BUT THEY'RE THE FREAKS WHO STARTED IT! WE'RE NOT THE ONES WHO KEEP CAUSING THEIR PARENTS HELL AND RUINING EVERYONE'S-MMMPHPHPHPHP!" Mark was shut up with a hand over his mouth and a glare from Richard.
Sly and Gadget looked between each other before heading back to their house, their intended place being the attic to talk things over. One thing was for sure: things were going to be strange in Goondocks again...
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That's a wrap ladies, gents an' other! I wanted to make this fic to try out realistic fiction instead of just fantasy an' scifi. My OCs are all ideas my friends an' I came up with personality-wise. Each of 'em's based on my friends but just their personality, everythin' else's my work. Not a lotta questions that can't be answered later, so as always: R&R, no flamin' my ass, constructive criticism, an' SEE YA-G'NIGHT!