Shizuma and Miyuki were cuddling on the couch watching a movie when her phone vibrated. It was a text. She knew who it was without even looking.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," she said as she untangled herself from her body. Miyuki watches her as she walks away. She enters the bathroom and closes the door behind her. Shizuma sits down on the side of the tub before reluctantly opening her phone. She reads the message.
I need to see you. Please call me. I'll be waiting.
She doesn't know what to do. She's tired of hurting Miyuki, but she can't resist the urge. She dials the all-too-familiar number.
"Hey, Beautiful," the voice on the other line answers.
"Hi, Amane," she says a little too loudly.
"Heh, your nerd must be home. I haven't seen you in a few days. I miss you. Come over."
"Shopping," Shizuma replies with her eyes on the door, " that sounds fantastic. I'll be there in an hour."
"See you then." Shizuma can hear the smirk in the voice.
"Bye," she says before hanging up the phone. She flushes the toilet then runs the water. She looks in the mirror and sees the sadness in her own eyes. She's doing it again. Hurting Miyuki again. And she doesn't know how to stop.
She leaves the bathroom and snuggles up to Miyuki again. Her hand rubs against her chest as Miyuki's rub up and down her back.
"Yuki," she says as she looks into her eyes, " you know I love you right? More than anything. You're so important to me. Everything I am and ever will be is because of you. You're my heart and soul. Please, tell me you know that." Miyuki looks down at her with a small smile.
Shizuma can tell there was slight hesitation in her voice but she decides to ignore it. She has a feeling that Miyuki knows the truth and it must hurt her so much. Maybe she thinks as long as she has most of her, it would be okay. She does love Miyuki, but that other person makes her feel things she never felt before. It's addictive. She tries to fight it and just say no. But then that sexy voice whispers the world in her ear and she is left too weak to fight anymore.
The movie finally ends and Miyuki asks if she wants to watch another. She says no and starts to walk towards their bedroom. Miyuki grabs her arm and brings her body into her. She kisses her slowly at first, then more passionately. She puts all her love into that kiss, as if it's a last chance. She does this every time she thinks Shizuma's going to leave her, to let her know she has her. Miyuki wants her and loves her so much. She doesn't have to go to some other girl. She's all she needs. Miyuki releases her lips but holds her close. She looks into her eyes, mentally pleading with her to stay, be with her, and prove to her that she doesn't need someone else. Shizuma knows what Miyuki wants but she can't. She kisses her on the cheek and continues into their bedroom.
Shizuma changes into her little black dress that she bought a few days before. It hugs her in all the right places and would make anyone go crazy. Miyuki walks up behind her as she sits at the vanity. She watches as she applies her makeup and combs her hair.
"Where are you off to?" Miyuki asks as she kisses her lightly on the cheek so not to smudge her makeup. Shizuma looks up at her through the reflection of the mirror.
"Going to hang out with Amane for a bit. We're gong to the mall I haven't seen her in awhile so we've got some catching up to do." Miyuki's face is unreadable and Shizuma's afraid what she will say next.
"I see. Will you be gone long?"
"Not too late I hope. But you know how girls are, we can't seem to shut up." She gets up and grabs her purse. " Maybe you should invite friends over."
"Yeah, maybe," Miyuki says as Shizuma kisses her on the cheek.
"Bye."
"Bye." And then she's out the door.
Shizuma gets into her car and drives the familiar roads. This is wrong, she's knows it wrong. But her body is aching, especially after that amazing kiss from Miyuki. She knows what that kiss meant, all that she was trying to say. Yet, here she is. Another night away from her the woman she planned to marry someday. She gets out of her car goes up to the apartment building. She hits the buzzer to the apartment.
"Hello," the familiar voice says.
"Its me," Shizuma speakers into the speaker.
"Come on up," the voice says. There is a loud buzz before the door into the building unlocks. Shizuma goes in and walks up the stairs to the apartment. The door is already open so she walks in. She goes into the living room but no one is there. She tries the kitchen but that too is empty.
"Shizuma," she hears the voice whispered in her ear. She turns around and looks into the eyes of her lover.
"Hey Nagisa," she smiles. She looks into the deep eyes and gets lost in them. Nagisa runs her hand over Shizuma's cheek.
"You look beautiful tonight." Nagisa says as she leans in to kiss Shizuma gently on the lips. "Come on. I made you dinner. " She grabs the other girl's hand and pulls her to the dining room. They sit down at opposite ends of the small table. They talk about their days as they eat the meal Nagisa prepared. After their done, they both wash the dishes, joking and laughing with each other. Through it all, the guilt still weighed heavily on Shizuma. And its then that she decides what she has to do.
"Nagisa, we need to talk," Shizuma says in the most serious tone Nagisa has ever heard her use. Deep down, Nagisa knew this was coming…that her time with Shizuma was borrowed and she have to eventually give it back.
"Okay," she says with her head down. Shizuma goes and sits on the couch while Nagisa sits on the table across from her. Shizuma holds Nagisa's hands as she speaks.
"Nagisa, the day you came into my life was the day that changed my world. When I spotted you in the forest I knew that you were the one for me. That sexy, sultry sound that came from your lips made me weak. From that moment on, I've wanted you. You are so beautiful." She runs her hand down Nagisa's cheek. "This is gonna be the hardest thing I ever do. I'm sorry, Nagisa, but we can't anymore. I'm with Miyuki and I love her. It's been killing her and me. I can't do this to her anymore. It's not fair to her or you. I do care about you. You're so important to me. I just have to do what's right." She wipes the tears that fall from Nagisa's face. It's so hard to hurt her like this but there's nothing she can do.
"I know, Shizuma. It was only a matter of time before you realized you had to leave me. I've dreaded it since the beginning. But I need…can I have tonight, one last night. It will mean everything to me. Give me tonight." Nagisa leans in and kisses Shizuma hard on the lips, not waiting for an answer. Shizuma kisses back with just as much force is all the answer she needs. She pulls Shizuma up and walks back towards her bed room, never losing contact with her lips. If this was going to be their last time, she was going to make it count. Hours and hours passes, and through it you can hear screams of passion, of love, of tears, and of last moments.
Nagisa , wrapped only in a sheet, walks Shizuma to the door.
"I love you Shizuma," she says," and if you ever change your mind, I'll be here. Not forever, but for a while." Shizuma kisses her on the lips and walks out the door. She goes to her car and cries. She couldn't believe how difficult that had been. She loved Nagisa, a part of her will always love Nagisa. She drives away, forcing herself not to look back. When she got home, she sees Miyuki asleep on the couch. Miyuki had waited for her. She looks around. The place is the same as when she left. She didn't have people over. Se just waited. She pulled a blanket over her, then kissed her forehead.
"I'm sorry, Miyuki," she says to her sleeping form.
She feels her phone vibrate. She looks down at the text message.
I love you, Shizuma. I lied, I'm not ready to say goodbye. Come back to me.
She looks over at Miyuki and then back at her phone. She goes to her room and cries in her bed. She knows she will go back to Nagisa, just like she always does. Every time she convinces herself she won't, she still will. Nagisa is her drug, her lifeline, and Shizuma is the addict that can't get enough. As longs as Nagisa keeps giving her what she needs, she'll keep coming. And that whispering voice will never let her go.
End Of Chapter:
But really guys I need reviews on this. I need to know if I should leave it or keep adding chapters. Ideas Ideas from all of you. Im begging.