It Doesn't Kill Nobody
Summary: Hobbit Modern Au: Bilbo is push into going to a party by his friends. He has no idea what he has just gotten into. At the end of the night he ends up running away from some mobsters with a stranger, but he has no idea if he should trust him. He should have thought that before waking up beside him the next morning.
Note: This is a one-shot, I hope that you guys like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Hobbit it belongs to Tolkien and Peter Jackson for the movies.
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It Doesn't Kill Nobody
Bilbo didn't get out of his home much, it wasn't that he didn't have friends, he did but he liked to be buried in his books way more. Most of his family called him 'Mad Baggins' for that reason, except a few and the children that just loved to read his stories. Which he wonder, how in the world he ended running with a very handsome man, trying not to get shoot at after waking up from the best sex ever. He blamed on person: Bofur.
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18 Hours Previous
Bilbo was writing his ideas done for his new novel that was bothering him. His best friend was with him trying to convince him.
"Come an Bilbo ya have ta come out with us." Bofur told his friend. Weirdly enough his Godfather had been trying to convince him to go out, apparently he couldn't live inside his books.
"I don't know, Bofur I need to start the book and my mind is blank."
"Exactly, ya go out and ideas will come to you."
"I don't think it will be that easy." Bilbo told him.
"It's my birthday, ya promise." Bofur said. "Ori is going to be there too, is he going ta be my only friend."
"I thought that secret boyfriend of yours was going to do something special for you." Bilbo said, truly it was surprising Bofur had met this man a few months ago, Bilbo didn't know much about him, but he didn't think he had to do a background check on his boyfriends, something he himself had to do after his own Stalker wouldn't leave him alone.
"He is, party in 'Arkenstone' I don't know how he did it." Bofur said with a smile. Bilbo was pretty surprise, he knew 'Arkenstone' was something rather special, but he didn't know. He also knew that if he didn't Bofur wouldn't forgive him.
"Fine, I'll go for a few hours." Bilbo said.
"Thank-you." Bofur said with a smile hugging Bilbo tightly to him.
#
Bilbo looked at himself in the mirror, he had a suit on it seemed nice dark blue with a white button up and no tie. His curls were fixed to look perfect. Now he just needed to get out of his door. He breathed in, it was Bofur and Ori his friends. He got everything ready and he got his keys getting ready to leave.
"Am I missing anything?" he asked no one.
#
"Is he really coming?" Nori Rison asked his boyfriend Bofur.
"He promised." Bofur told Nori. Nori had wanted to meet Bilbo Baggins for a long time coming, Bofur and his brother Ori would talk about the man and he didn't know much about him even if he read the books.
"There he is." Ori said with a smile. They turned to see Bilbo coming into the room. Nori had to admit the man was handsome, in his own way.
"Bilbo!" Ori screamed excited to see his friend.
"Ori." Bilbo said with a smile.
"Ya came." Bofur said to him.
"I did promise I would come." Bilbo said before turning to the man next to him. "You must be Nori."
"Yes, nice to meet you Mr. Baggins." Nori said politely.
"Bilbo, you are Bofur's boyfriend."
"Well sit down." Ori said making him room for Bilbo in the booth.
"We should get you something to drink." Nori told Bilbo.
"I will have a soda." Bilbo told him, he knew what would happen if he got wasted, it had happened before.
"Oh come on, Bilbo you have to drink." Bofur told him.
"Alright, but if I get a hangover you are taking me to eat." Bilbo told him.
#
Thorin stood in his office of the Arkenstone Club and he looked out the windows, trying to ignore it.
"Go out there Thorin." Dis told him.
"I have to work." Thorin told his younger sister.
"Yeah, well you're going to die hugging your work if you don't go out there, come on I heard Nori is here and he brought Dwalin's little boyfriend with him. " Dis told him.
"I'm not going to be the third wheel."
"I heard they brought a single friend of Bofur's with them, come on it will not kill you."
"Alright, I'll be back in five minutes."
#
Bilbo was taking a drink when someone came walking toward the table. He was tall dressed in a tailor suit, but he was focused on the face very handsome regal even, with blue eyes, long hair and beard.
"Whose that?" Bilbo asked Ori.
"Oh, that's—"He didn't finish as his own boyfriend came and Bilbo didn't get to finish.
Thorin on the other hand saw this adorable man sitting there being the third wheel in all the couples and well, he had nothing to do.
"Want to dance?" he asked. The man was silent and he was about to retract the invitation, when his hand was grabbed.
"Sure." Bilbo told him and they went to dance.
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Bilbo woke up with a pounding headache; he groaned and didn't want to open his eyes, until he felt the arm around his waist flex. He opened his eyes and looked around, he wasn't in his room, and the room looked way to fancy to be his and his window always hit his face. He closed his eyes and he felt a slight pain on the back and he knew what he had done as he remembered.
#
Bilbo and the mystery man both stumbled in the hotel room and were both kissing each other in desperate passion as if they hadn't done it in a while. Clothes were flying all around the room as they were taking their clothes off.
"Wait—wait are you sure." Bilbo slurred.
"Yes." The mystery man answered. Bilbo was pushed to the bed and the man opened his shirt kissing every part of exposed skin as he opened the shirt. Bilbo moaned as he was doing it. he looked at the man and he had to get even he pushed him off and climbed on top of him before he took off the tie and threw it somewhere in the room.
#
Bilbo shook his eyes blushing; he hadn't had a one night stand in years.
"Are you done with your melt down" the deep voice asked him making him turned to the bare chest of the mystery man.
"Hi." He squeaked and cursed himself inwardly. Thorin looked at the man and he remembered last night.
#
Thorin grabbed the shirt of the man and pulled it off him as he sat up and kissed him once more. The moan the man pulled out was something Thorin wanted to hear more of. He moved his hands one hair and the other to the belt of his pants as they began to grind on each other.
"Wait." Thorin said and the man groaned in protest, but he turned him around into the bed and pulled his trousers off before he followed by his pants. He took off his own.
"Do you have a—"the man didn't get to finish as Thorin showed him the condom. The man smiled at him and they moved at each other like wild beast in heat and battle. Thorin won and the man had no problem with that.
#
"Hello." Thorin said. Bilbo was about to say something when they both heard something.
'He's here.'
Thorin paled and looked at the man with him.
"Get dressed." Thorin hissed.
"What?" Bilbo asked.
"Get dressed; we need to get out of here." Thorin said and threw the man his trousers and pants. Bilbo put them on and he didn't know what the man meant.
"We need to get out of here."Thorin told him.
"Okay, what is going on?" Bilbo asked.
"Look, I didn't know this was going to happen." Thorin said. "Some people are after me, you ever heard of the Defilers?"
"Yes, they are the biggest gangs, tell me you are not—"
"No, but I took the hand of their boss a few years back as he tried to rape my younger sister." Thorin told him. They heard voices outside and Thorin pulled the man toward him as he opened the window.
"We need to jump." Thorin told him.
"Are you insane?" Bilbo asked. That's when the door began to get shot. Bilbo didn't waste any times and jumped out of the window.
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The two of them ran away from the hotel and Bilbo was trying not to freak out.
"They were going to shoot us." Bilbo told him.
"It happens sometimes."Thorin told him.
"Your use to this."
"I own a club, sometimes it happens." Thorin said. "You now I didn't ask your name."
"Really my name is important at this moment." Bilbo wanted to know exasperated.
"I can't say hey you the adorable man I had great sex with." Thorin told him and Bilbo blushed.
"Bilbo." He said with a blush. "My name is Bilbo Baggins and you are?"
"Thorin Durin." He said with a smile.
"So, Thorin what is the plan?" Bilbo asked.
"We can stay here or you can let me borrow your cell-phone and I'll call my head of security."
"Here, you're lucky I actually got it." Bilbo told him.
#
Embarrassing. That is what Bilbo was feeling at the moment, the head of security turned out to be Dwalin the boyfriend of Ori.
"I knew ya were going to be Thorin's type." Dwalin chuckled.
"Can you not." Bilbo told him. "I'm killing your boyfriend and his brother –in-law by the way."
"Ah, Thorin didn't show you a good time than did the bastard brood."
"Shut up." Thorin said.
#
When they arrived to the club, someone was already talking to the police and Bilbo just hoped that Gandalf didn't find out or he would be pushing for him to move in with him.
"How do you feel?" Ori asked bringing him tea.
"I actually don't know." Bilbo answered taking the tea. Thorin was looking at the man and hoped that he hadn't pushed him away. He went to sit down right there next to him.
"Is this a normal day for you?" Bilbo asked him.
"Sometimes, I try for it not to happen." Thorin told him. "So asking for a date would be a bad thing." Bilbo looked at him surprised.
"You know what, if you can deal with whatever happens today in the morning, I'll think about." Bilbo told him and Thorin smiled at him brightly. He had a feeling that inspiration was going to be easy to find now.
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Note: This is the end of the one-shot. Don't forget to review.