A/N: This was inspired by Lyon's pants during the first OracionSeis Arc. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail
Lyon Vastia waltzed into the room dragging along a rack of clothing. Hanging from said rack was a collection of pants. Yes, pant. And as the boy continued bringing in these questionable articles of clothing, the others watched in fear. How exactly had they ended up here?
Gray Fullbuster grew up with a sort-of-brother and a-sort-of-sister. They were for all intents and purposes, his siblings. The three all had their own separate friend groups. Ultear had Jellal and Meredy. She had even made some new friends recently. Lyon had Sherry, Yuka, and Toby. And then there was always Sherry's cousin, Chelia, who always followed Lyon around. And Gray had his friends at Fairy Tail. The local bar was where he spent the majority of his time. For some unexplainable reason Lyon had tagged along. The white haired boy had ended up realizing the musical potential of Gray and his friends. That's how this whole thing began. And then there was poor Jellal. He had only been dragged into this because Ultear had wanted to make sure her brothers didn't do anything stupid. But back to the pants.
The boys stared at the racks with a look of pure horror mirrored on all of their faces. Well, not all of them. Natsu seemed confused and Bixlow never really found anything strange or horrifying. The blanket of fear grew even thicker as Lyon pulled out a microphone.
"So you're probably wondering about these pants. Well, the explanation is obvious! We're starting a band." Needless to say, everyone was in shock. What exactly was Lyon planning?
"Lyon, we're not even talented. None of us even know how to play an instrument!" Gray was seriously trying to throw his brother off. When Lyon set his mind on something it usually happened. He really hoped Lyon wouldn't get his way in this argument.
"My dear brother, I know you're lying to me. Don't even try that excuse." Seems like the silver-haired boy wasn't as gullible as Gray had hoped. Poor kid.
"There's around twenty of us. Bands usually only have five members maximum. There's no way we could ever be a band." Laxus had worked past the absolute horror. He was now only exhibiting his annoyance. The hideous rack of pants had no place in his bar.
"I forget your name, so I'm going to call you blondie. Anyway, the fact that there are so many of us is what makes this better. It's our secret weapon. There's at least two of us who know how to play each necessary instrument. This way we can trade out for performances. Besides, we'll appeal to a greater audience like this!" It seemed that the boy had really thought this through. Good luck with getting out of this one guys.
"But are the pants necessary?" Romeo Conbolt was only sixteen. There was no way he was going to ruin his reputation at such a young age. Or so he thought.
"I like these ones." Somewhere between the time Lyon had walked in and Romeo's statement Bixlow had to rummage through the pants. As always, nothing fazed him. He just went with the flow.
"See, he gets it! And some of the pants are as cool as mine." Yeah, Lyon's pants really were something. The pattern was one of a kind for sure.
"Yay for pants!" Natsu wasn't completely sure what was going on at this point. But as always he was willing to speak up.
"Natsu, no! We don't like the pants!" It seemed that Romeo had a bit of a temper. The glare he was sending in Natsu's direction could freeze even Gray. It was the scariest look he had ever received. And it caused the boys to wonder if Romeo had been spending too much time around Erza.
"Sorry Romeo. Lyon I actually don't like the pants?" The way the pinkette had said it sounded more like a question than anything. When would he learn to wait for Romeo before speaking?
"Guys, the pants are awesome! You must respect the pants!" Lyon was shouting. And honestly, Gray wished he would just die. If Lyon didn't get his way he would continue to bother Gray about it at home. Oh boy!
"Can you please get the pants out of my bar? It's going to be bad for business." Laxus was about six hundred percent done with this situation. Between a clingy Freed, a whiny Evergreen, and Bixlow he was about ready to just drop dead.
"The pants are fine. If anything they'll get you more customers." Lyon was dead-set on these pants. That left only one solution.
"Fine, we'll wear the pants. But on one condition." Laxus was so ready for this thing to be over. And to make matters worse, Lyon had started cabbage-patching.
"Lyon, please stop." A loud groan came from Gray. There was something seriously wrong with his brother.
"Is that the condition? Because I can do the robot. Or the sprinkler. I love the sprinkler!" In his excitement the boy had already begun raising one arm as was customary for the move.
"No. What Laxus was trying to say was that we get to name the band." Romeo really wanted to get this over with. He was already doing damage control in his mind. His life would be over as soon as he walked out of this bar.
"Oh, what's wrong with the name I already picked?" The boy had ceased his dancing. He really liked the name. There was nothing wrong with it!
"We are not going to be called 'Guys With Pants'. It's ridiculous." Alzack was done thinking about how none of the pants would match his poncho. The name was more embarrassing than not matching. As he looked at the others for confirmation, Lyon was met with a chorus of 'yeahs' and one 'that's not manly'.
"Fine. But I get to pick your pants!" Lyon had had this all planned out. Everything was working out in his favor. The only way things could have been better was if he got to pick the name. But whatever, you win some, you lose some.
Bixlow was able to wear the pants he had chosen earlier. They were… unique? How else would you describe fuzzy purple skinny jeans? The thing is, Bixlow had most likely picked these just to get a reaction. One of his favorite was receiving disappointed looks from Freed. Natsu found himself in the pants that had caught his eye. They were red and adorned with a flame pattern. Out of all of Lyon's pants these were the ones that screamed 'Natsu'. When Lyon handed Gray his pants he had also given him a little note. 'I got these made especially for you dear brother. They come with matching boxers for when you lose the pants.' And although Gray wanted to be angry because of this, he knew he could not. What Lyon had written was true. And the pants could have been a lot worse. They had an icy pattern and were a blue base color. Elfman had gotten the dreaded floral pants. They were green with white flowers on them. 'These pants are a MAN.' was what Elfman had said afterward. Or at least he had said something similar to that. Laxus had gotten neon yellow pants with glow in the dark smiley faces. He had to be restrained. Freed's pants were of course, the most sophisticated on the rack. The only issue was the fuschia coloring. In response to Freed's question about this Lyon had simply stated that it symbolized his internal struggle. What the heck did that mean? Gajeel (who had remained quiet throughout the whole ordeal) had gotten metal pants. Yes, metal. And like everything else he did, Gajeel would wear them with no shame. Alzack had gotten brown corduroy pants with cowboy hats on them. They would sort-of-kind-of-maybe match his poncho. Romeo had spent his time internally laughing at the others. And when he had received his own pants, the internal laughter had stopped. He had gotten pants with a LEGO pattern. He was sixteen, not six! Lyon was surely going to be found dead in a ditch by next week. Jellal, who thought he would be able to escape, was pulled over to the racks as well. When the bluenette had tried to claim that he had no musical talent Lyon had knocked over the racks. Jellal had previously been in a local band called The Tower of Heaven. The silver haired boy was not going to take no for an answer. Before he even knew what was going on, Jellal found himself with something that could only be described as Mystogan pants. Yes, they were an exact replica of the ones his cousin wore. And not to say that Mystogan looked stupid in them, but he looked stupid. Curse Lyon and his stupid pants.
"Hey guys, I still don't get what's wrong with Guys With Pants." The collective groan that followed Lyon's statement could be heard throughout the next town over.
A/N: So? This fic is a bit of a joke so I'm not too worried about reviews or anything. But next chapter we get the answer to a few questions like:
Where is Loke?
Why is Lyon making a band with Gray's friends instead of his own?
And Who is the band manager?