'And Garrus, if I'm up there in that bar and you're not- I'll be looking down. You'll never be alone.'
Laying in the Captain's Cabin on the Normandy-in her cabin- No, in their cabin she had said… He couldn't sleep. Finding himself remembering those words. Repeating them over and over again as he stare blankly at the space passing above. Shifting his weight uncomfortably, unable to find peace without her. It had been four days since the Reaper's had been destroyed. It had been four days since communications went down. It had been four days without Shepard. Laying in their bed he could smell her. Closing his eyes he pulled her pillow close to his face, breathing her in deeply.
'You'll never be alone. You'll never be alone. You'll never be alone.'
Repeating on a loop as he saw her running toward the beam again. Running further from him to fulfill her destiny. Everything she had done leading up to the next few moments. Watching that crimson hair disappear from focus as he struggled to remain conscious. Normandy pulling away leaving her alone. Without him. The smell of her skin and blood growing fainter as she did. The idea of leaving her down there drove him mad… Why had be been so weak? Why did he have to get hurt… He should have been paying more attention, he should have seen the Mako coming. He should have protected her.
Laying in their bed he reached a hand out, placing it in the empty space she usually lay. What he would give to have her alive again… No. Don't think like that. She's okay. You know she's okay. You can feel it. It was true he could feel it. He knew that if something had happened to her he would feel it in every fiber of his being. He would know, he was sure of it. He knew before… and he would know now. That same feeling was why he couldn't bring himself hang her name on the Memorial Wall along side their friends. No, she not dead. He would see her again.
Flipping over he grabbed the frame on the nightstand. It had quickly become his favorite photo of them together… They had been sitting in her Citadel apartment, his arms wrapped around her tightly- his mouth pressed softly to the top of her head. She had the biggest smile on her face, he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her that happy. Remembering the warmth of their embrace. Remembering everything about that night… It was a few days before their big party. He wanted to do something nice for her, just a few close friends relaxing before they had to see this through… But he had something else in mind.
Looking at this photo of them, he was transported back to that night. Sliding his eyes to her delicate long fingers wrapped around his arm, he saw the small blue band circling her left ring finger. The ring he had given her only moments before the photo was taken. He and James had been planning this for weeks… Okay, EDI helped. Knowing the end was probably near, and having grown awfully close to the Marine he enlisted him for help. For a second he let himself remember all those damn dance lessons in the Shuttle Bay he had let James talk him into… Thinking back to that night with Shepard, those lessons had been worth it.
As he looked at the photo he remembered the tone of her voice as she said 'Yes!', standing to kiss him passionately. Remembering the way her big emerald eyes filled with tears of euphoria. He remembered the way she felt in his arms. The way she smelled, the softness of her skin and hair. Remembering how hopeful they had been that night. They may not have known what was ahead them… That only a few weeks later she would be missing, presumed dead by everyone. That she would succeed in stopping the Reapers against all odds. That most of their friends would die during that initial onslaught. They may not have know what was coming, but they didn't care. It didn't matter what might be ahead, because no matter what life sent their way they would make it. They had this, they had each other. Hope… a promise of a future without mission after mission. Love. They both knew she would do everything she could to get back to him.
Remembering the way their hope felt that night. The night she decided she would be his forever… That feeling returned slowly as he gaze at the photo. Slipping up his gut into his chest filling him with a realm of possibilities. He knew he would see her again.
"Garrus… they found her." He sat up quickly hearing Joker's echoing above him, there was clear excitement in his voice.
They had found Shepard. They really had found her- somehow… He couldn't think about where she was, or how he'd get to her yet. But just knowing she was out there, alive… waiting for him was good enough. Knowing he would make it back to her, was enough. He looked again at his girl smiling wide from the photo.
'You'll never be alone.' He heard her say as he slid a hand to the chain around his neck, smiling as he held the matching band he had picked for himself.
She was alive… He knew it. "Come back to me, Shepard."