This is my first Peter-centric oneshots. This, is a Spideypool. I tried to get Deadpool's character right, but it was difficult to do so with only his 'voice'.

It's short, but I'll try to get the future Oneshots of this to be longer.

Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter. I don't and I never will. All I own is this plot that, for once, I haven't seen used much (at least with Spideypool).

Peter sighed, trying his hardest to focus on the lecture.

He was tired.

Really, really tired.

Sometimes, he wished he could just be a normal teenager that didn't have to stay awake 'till one AM every single night patrolling his city.

Peter slumped back on the desk, trying as hard as he could not to close his eyes, but he was failing. When he finally gave up on resisting the pull of sleep, his phone rang. Peter's first thought, was 'Shit.'

Peter, because he had to juggle two lives at once, had a system. Three ringtones, each for a different part of his life.

The first was for friends and family (not that he had much of any of those), the second was for the Avengers and SHIELD in general. It was the third one that was currently ringing.

Peter sighed. He was too tired to deal with this. But he had no choice.

Miss Jones was a relatively nice teacher. She was young, not too boring, didn't assign too much homework and was pretty chill.

The one real rule that was to be respected at all times was that if one's phone rang while in class, the student in question would have to answer it on speaker.

Usually, Peter turned his phone on 'Silent' as soon as he stepped inside the school, but again, he was tired. You couldn't blame him for forgetting. Besides, if it was urgent, Mr Stark could easily hack into Peter's phone.

Anyway.

Considering who was calling him, Peter was understandably freaking out. He reluctantly took his still ringing phone out of his bag and sighed at the caller ID. Yup. This would end badly.

"Well, Mister Parker?"

Flash was snickering loudly, and most of the class were failing to smother laughs. Ned and MJ, knowing the ringtone system and who each applied to, looked at him sympathetically. Well, Ned did. MJ snickered too, but Peter knew that she was laughing at the incoming conversation.

Peter pressed 'answer', turning the phone on speaker.

Immediately, his voice rang out, loud and clear, the familiar hint of insanity underlying his tone.

"Heeeey Pete!"

Peter sighed deeply. If Wade was calling as Wade, Peter could deal with this. Wade was (slightly) more sane. But he had chosen to call as Deadpool. Oh boy.

"What the fudge, Wilson! I'm in class right now!"

Sheepish laughter.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. See, Pretty-Scary Readhead just told me about the Eugene kid, so I asked Aunt May and she told me that he's been bullying you for ages and so I called to ask you if I should and or could Unalive him!"

Peter rubbed the bridge of his nose. His classmates were looking incredibly confused and slightly scared.

Flash looked terrified.

If he was being honest, Peter didn't blame him. When all you got was his voice, Wade's slightly insane, always cheerful tone wasn't reassuring. Especially when he was talking as Deadpool, the Merc with a mouth that constantly broke the fourth wall (not that Peter knew that).

He sighed, again. He was doing that a lot today.

"No. No. No. Don't Unalive him. I know and fully admit that he's a jerk but don't waste your time trying to kill him. He's far from worth it."

"Ooookay!"

"Also," Peter added as an afterthought, "Tell 'Tash that I want her pasta tonight and tell Katniss that he should expect payback for that glitter bomb prank."

"Will do! Bye, love you Petey!"

"Don't kill anyone innocent. And love you too, Wade."

He pressed 'end call' and turned to his gaping classmates, all sporting varying levels of shock and fear on their faces.

"What? I was just answering a call."

MJ snorted. "Yeah. A call from that guy."

Peter huffed. "He's okay once you get to know him."

"He probably would be if he didn't carry two swords on back and didn't own at least forty guns." MJ deadpanned with a smirk.

Mrs Jones screech of "WHAT!?" was heard two neighbourhoods over.