Hey guys! It's been SUPER long, hasn't it? Anyways, I recently developed an obsession for Gravity Falls and looking up the funny crossovers people do with different shows, plus my friend started talking about Dog With A Blog for some reason so here we are! One shot written as a complete joke please don't judge :P Please leave a review if you like this!
So, today my owner's brother Dipper got possessed by Bill. You remember, that evil triangle demon that I talked about who went into Grunkle Stan's mind? Anyway's, this 'Bipper' dude as Mabel called him ruined her entire sock-rock-opera and ruined her chances with Gabe. At least Dipper's okay now thanks to Mabel's super awesome powers, but he's pretty badly injured and resting up as I type this. Lesson of the day: don't trust triangles. Stay tuned for more! - Waddles
Waddles the Pig finished typing this paragraph onto Dipper's computer, submitted it and closed the laptop. He would check on the reads and comments tomorrow night. He grabbed the computer with his snout, carefully trotted up to the attic where the Pines' twins Mabel and Dipper were sleeping, placed the laptop onto the foot of Dipper's bed and curled up with Mabel.
The brunette smiled, sensing the pig's presence and wrapped her small arms around him. "Goodnight Waddles," she murmured in her sleep. "Goodnight Mabel," Waddles responded, closing his eyes. He couldn't talk when she was awake, but he would occasionally have conversations with his owner as she slept so that she would only remember it as a dream.
"Gahhh!" Dipper cried out early the next morning, waking his twin sister up from her deep slumber. Waddles woke up too, and saw that Dipper was staring at his computer screen in a state of complete shock.
"What is it?" Mabel yawned, sitting up. "Dipper?" she asked after a few moments due to the lack of response from the guy. He just blinked, looked up at her and swung his computer screen around so she could read it. After a few seconds, her eyes widened too.
"It's what happened yesterday!" Dipper exclaimed. "At the show! With Bill! AND WHY IS IT SIGNED BY WADDLES MABEL WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Mabel just blinked.
"I didn't do anything," she stated. "Waddles?" The two looked at the pig sitting in Mabel's lap, Mabel with expectancy and Dipper with exasperation. I knew this day was coming, Waddles thought to himself. I guess it's time for them to find out my deepest and darkest secret.
"Mabel he's not going to-" Dipper began to sigh before being cut off by an unfamiliar voice. Dipper's breath caught and he stared at it's source.
"It was me," Waddles said. "I've been writing a blog about everything that has happened since Mabel adopted me. Everything with Lil' Gideon, Bill, everything. I-I meant to tell you before but I was worried you were gonna experiment on me. I'm sorry, guys."
"YOU CAN TALK?!" Mabel cried in glee. "Oh my goodness, Waddles, I can't believe that I own the world's only talking pig! This is amazing!"
"That's what you concentrate on?" Dipper asked. "Actually, yeah that makes sense since animals shouldn't talk. Then again, gnomes shouldn't be animate and demons shouldn't exist so I'm not really surprised at this point. But Mabel! He's been writing about our entire summer! Isn't that a little bit of an invasion of privacy. I don't want people knowing I made a deal with devil!"
"Speaking of which how are you feeling?" Mabel asked, suddenly with a sense of concern and motherhood.
"Well my head really hurts," Dipper mumbled. "And my arm where Bill stabbed me with forks. And everything ... else HEY WHY DON'T WE READ WADDLES' BLOG?" Mabel sighed and nodded. As Dipper scrolled through the posts, commenting on how everything was so accurate, Mabel thought about how much Dipper refrained from talking about himself, especially pain. He was almost too selfless.
"You wanna know something?" Waddles asked with his strangely deep and heavily British-accented voice. The two looked at the pig, waiting for what he was gonna say. A PIG, was about to SAY something. "I'm not the only talking animal. The only talking pig, yes, but not the only animal. There are two of us. The other has a blog too! He's a family dog called Stan and he writes about his family's life. It's kind of a mess actually..."
"Okay..." Dipper responded awkwardly. "Well I don't really want to know anything about your internet friends as I am still trying to grasp the concept that a pig Mabel won can talk and has actual intelligence so I'm gonna go downstairs now." Dipper quickly swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood up. He winced for a second at the pain that was obviously coursing through his body but continued down the stairs to the kitchen.
Mabel and Waddles just glanced at each other. Mabel knew that she had a new best friend, one that she might not have to leave at the end of summer. A tear came to Waddles' eye as he realized that he had finally been accepted for who he was; a talking pig.