Get Rich, or DIE HARD!

by LittleManFromAcrossTheStreet

This nigga named John Rottweiler goes out on an adventure to stop an evil Eggman and his evil empire from taking over New Mobotropolis. Featuring Sonic and Co. and some other people and talking creatures. There will be crude humor, maybe even complex (gasp!). There will be drama. And there will be very terrible and weird descriptions of sexual intercourse!... maybe not. (*v*)

1. CHAPTER 1: GET RICH OR DIE HARD!

I did this mostly in school. I hope you like it and review. Other than that, enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SONIC THE HEDGEHOG & CO. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG & CO. ARE COPYRIGHTS OF SEGA CORPORATION.

CLAIMER: I OWN THE PLOT AND JOHN THE ROTTWEILER. JOHN THE ROTTWEILER SHALL NOT BE USED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MY FELLOW LIBERALS.

Known characters=abc

Thoughts/Flashbacks=abc

(NOTE: To prevent thoughts and flashbacks from being mixed (if I even put in flashbacks), passages in the future will say "FLASHBACK" to differentiate the two.)

Unknown Characters=abc

Author's Note=abc

Get Rich, or DIE HARD!

It was a beautiful day in New Mobotropolis where hedgehogs were walking to work, teens are tweeting friends and Brick making changes to better the economy. Yep, a beautiful day indeed. On the road, we see our infamous hero, John the Rottweiler, a person that is not a hedgehog re-color. He was wearing a white muscle shirt with a bulletproof vest over it, white khaki shorts, white Cadillac shoes, a white wave cap, and a white snapback to top it off. He was cruising through the streets in his beautiful white Cadillac Escalade with spinning rims and manually installed amps called: Beats by Dre. Yep, ruined his warranty alright. John stopped at a stop light, observing the scenery of the city.

"Ah, what a nice day to go out." John said.

All of a sudden, A MISSILE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND HIT HIS $74,655 LUXURY VEHICLE! His Truck was on fire. John unbuckled his seat belt and jumped out, just in time as it exploded in a fiery blaze. He got up from the floor to watch his hard earned money go down the drain. "WHAT THE FUCK?! MY CAR! NOW MY INSURANCE IS GONNA BE A BITCH! WHO DA NIGGA THAT FUCKED UP?!" John shouted on this beautiful day.

He saw a giant shadow consuming his surroundings; something is looming over him. He looked above himself and saw a weird lookin' ship with an even more weird lookin' face in front of it.

"It is I, Eggman!" said… Eggman. "People of New Mobotropolis, I have come to bring tyranny into your lives by taking over Mobius! And no one can stop me! AHAHAHAHA!" said Eggman over the intercom. John was furious. He wanted to fill his body with holes and see if gravy comes out because Eggman was about to take over the city. Plus, he lost his now fucked up Escalade.

John felt a rush of wind past him, followed by a sonic boom.

"Whoa, holy shit!"said John, surprised by something that made him twirl around 360 degrees. In front of him was a man. Not just any man, a mobian hedgehog man! The hedgehog was skinny but built. He has strong legs that can kick a guy's balls so hard, the pain will be greater than a woman giving birth. Oh wait, that happens no matter how hard you get kicked…. Ok, let's say you can die. Anywhore, he has eyes that are connected to each other somehow. He wears white gloves and shoes that are red with white stripes and gold buckles on the outsides. This is the longest description that I have given. So, I'm stopping here and making a new paragraph.

"Eggman? I should've known you'd bring your egg-lookin' face here again" said the unknown hedgehog. Eggman looked down below and saw the person that RUDELY interrupted him: the hedgehog man!

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Sonic the Hedgehog. The only thing that can defeat me in every freaking battle we have. I can't wait to take over this world then kill you! Robots, ATTACK!" Eggman said. With a hearty laugh, he pressed a button that lowered a hangar, sending out hundreds-thousands of robots that surrounded the mobian hedgehog man who is now deemed sonic. He stretched his legs like Goku.

John looked at the robots that were now deploying around him. "Dammit. Got caught in the cross fire. But if this will get me to that fat guy…" John thought, developing a plan in his head. John checked himself before thinking of fighting. He fixed the snap on his hat to tighten on his head, tighten his belt to make sure his pants don't sag, and tighten his shoes; tucking in his lases to prevent them from falling out. He pulled out a 9mm and a Glock 17 from the back of his pants and sat his arms on his sides. Look at 50CENT over here!

"Just another day at the office." They both said in unison as they prepare for battle. I hope they don't hit too hard…

END OF CHAPTER 1

Whats good people? If anybody is reading this, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this work that I call a "masterpiece". I wanted to make this story to be filled with action, romance, tragedy, and most of all: humor. Please, click on the sexy button that says "review". Don't worry, it won't bite… I think.

Also, next week is my spring break. I'll make sure that I post another chapter on the day I'm off. Until then, see yall in 11 days!