Sorry for the lack of updates. Eh, have no motivation at all and I hate Christmas so…

I promise that nobody dies this time, kay:D

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Learning to Live Again

Prologue

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Sad lavender eyes looked at the gold and silver glinting from the overhead light from the glass display. The owner of the eyes gave a sigh to himself, knowing that he'd never be able to afford one of the beautiful engagement rings for his significant other. They could barely afford food, let alone something so extravagant.

His stomach grumbled, reminding him of the task he'd promised his other he'd do. Though it wasn't much, the 2000 yen he had in his pocket would have to feed the two of them for the next two weeks, at least until he got paid again.

Tearing his eyes away, the boy owning the sad eyes pulled the thin jacket he was wearing higher up around his shoulders as a chill ran down his spine. It was getting colder, and he didn't want to freeze longer than he had to. His frozen feet, sitting in worn boots, carried him from the inviting display to a small convenience store that looked to be about fifty years old.

The old building may have looked like it was going to collapse at any given moment, but their prices were cheap and when you're just days away from living in a cardboard box behind the run down apartment that you'd have been kicked out of, you couldn't be too choosy.

As soon as he stepped inside, he was assaulted by warm air. He welcomed the heat against his cold skin, though he could have done without the evil Christmas carols being played over the crackling radio.

Tacky Christmas decorations hung from various places around the room, but he bypassed all of those in favour of the fresh bread that sat out on a counter. He picked three loaves up, then went to find a jar of peanut butter…it seemed to be the only thing they ate now. Easy storage, and cheap.

Something caught his eye though and he looked at the object, a sign, advertising cream puffs. He smiled, remembering how much his lover had obsessed over the little cream filled balls. The smile soon turned into a frown as he recalled how long it had been since Ryou had had any.

Picking up the freshest and heaviest bag, (thus condemning them both to eating just bread until next pay day), Malik Ishtar walked to the cashier to pay for his treasures.

The sky had grown darker than before as the days were much shorter during the winter and he quickly started to make his way home. Ryou worried about him if he wasn't home at the promised time.

Their apartment building, which looked more like a cheap motel for one-night stands, was only a few blocks away, but the neighbourhood wasn't exactly friendly and Malik knew how much Ryou hated to be left alone.

He'd been like that ever since –

Malik shook his head as he picked up his pace, best not to think about those kinds of thoughts at the moment. It was Christmas Eve after all, and they should try to be as happy as they could be.

He entered the three story building and took the stairs two at a time since the elevator had broken down long before they'd ever found the place. He reached the third floor and walked all the way down the hallway, ignoring the carpet, worn so bad there were patches of rotting wood underneath, the walls that had holes, the flickering lights, and the fact that even though he was inside, he could still see his breath.

He ignored it all as he reached a room with the number seven, hanging upside down because the top screw had fallen out at some point in time. He knocked first, and listened for the familiar scrapping sound. When the scrapping sound had finished he used his key to open the locked door and stepped inside.

After placing the bag of bread on the floor Malik turned back around to close the door, lock it again and move the chair back underneath the door handle.

Arms wrapped around his waist before he could pick up the bag again and he smiled to himself as he turned around. "Miss me?" He asked softly, letting the smaller male lean into his chest as he wrapped his own arms around the slight body.

Ryou smiled, "Yeah." He replied as he gave Malik one more squeeze before letting go and picked up the bag of bread himself. "W-were they out of peanut butter?" He wondered, as he took the bag over to the area of the small room that had been designated as the kitchen.

The apartment was almost too small for one person, the main room was big enough to fit two couches and perhaps a chair…if they had the furniture, instead it housed a dying twig they were using as a Christmas tree, a table with no legs in the 'kitchen' and the chair against the door. A narrow door was situated in one corner of the room, away from the kitchen, and it housed the bathroom…that you could barely turn around in. And lastly, a room just big enough for a bed – had they actually owned one.

"No…" Malik shook his head, taking off the worn jacket and following Ryou, draping the light material over the shivering form. Ryou smiled his thanks. "I just thought…with it being Christmas and all we could have something different." He pulled the bag of cream puffs from the jacket pocket.

Ryou's eyes went wide and a small grin crossed his lips, "Are those…?"

Malik laughed at the childish reaction as he held out the bag, "Yep."

Ryou giggled as he took the bag gently, as if it held the world's greatest treasure. "Wow! I haven't had a cream puff since before they–"

"I know." Malik nodded as the two of them sat down together to eat their supper.

Malik munched on a piece of bread, taking great joy from seeing Ryou so happy at the simple treat. He gently shook his head as he was offered one, which caused the other boy to pout. The Egyptian chuckled to himself as he leaned forward and kissed the pout away. "Think of them as your Christmas present."

"But I didn't get anything for you, so it wouldn't be fair." Ryou argued.

"I got you, that's more than enough." Malik promised, kissing those lips once more.

Ryou sniffled to himself as he moved closer until he was sitting in Malik's lap. The Egyptian held him and the two sat in silence, until Ryou's tears had stopped. "I love you." The pale boy whispered softly.

"Love you too." The Egyptian murmured back, running a hand through the silver hair. Seeing that Ryou was trying to hide a yawn, the blonde smiled, "I'm kinda getting tired too. Long day…"

"Any problems getting home?" Ryou wondered, knowing the neighbourhood was full of gangs of all sorts.

"No." Malik shook his head, "Just didn't want to be at work…would rather have been with you."

Ryou smiled happily as he got up and tugged on Malik's hand. The silver haired boy led them into the small bedroom where the two of them got ready to sleep.

Ryou straightened the tattered sheet across the cold floor, and then climbed onto it as the Egyptian turned off the light in the main room. Malik soon joined him with an equally tattered blanket, just a little bit thicker than the sheet. Making sure that the jacket was wrapped around Ryou's body, Malik settled down, Ryou cuddling up to him as his arm wrapped around the smaller boy.

They were silent, not quite ready to sleep, as was the way their nights ended.

"Do you think they ever wonder about us?" Ryou asked softly, lying on Malik's arm, since they didn't own a pillow.

"I'm not sure." Malik replied.

There was a moment of silence, then "Do you think they're happy?" This question was whispered.

Malik yawned to himself as he felt his body relaxing, despite the cold seeping into his bones. "I hope so." He muttered, gently kissing the pale forehead in front of him.

"Merry Christmas Malik." Ryou mumbled, already half way asleep.

"Merry Christmas love." Malik whispered, not wanting to wake him up again. He sighed to himself once he knew the other was sleeping. He just stared into the darkness.

Were they happy?

Did either he or Ryou ever cross their minds?

What would they think of them now?

Malik shook his head and finally closed his eyes.

Did they even care?

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AN: 2000 yen is about $20 Canadian.