America x England – I Just Had Sex
England fell back onto the bed after finally climaxing, panting and gripping onto America as the bigger nation finished emptying himself into the Englishman before finally falling on top of him to enjoy a cuddle. England laughed as the American flopped on top of him, like a damp towel (and he certainly felt like one what with all the sweat dripping off of him). The light streaming into the dark room from the lit hallway illuminated the smooth skin of the two exhausted lovers, and no sounds besides an owl hooting as it swooped by overhead interrupted the sound of their synchronised beating hearts and hurried breath.
"Whoa," America gasped, "we've worked up quite a sweat, haven't we?"
"Well, what do you expect?" England chortled, "We just had sex after all."
America laughed too, and England relished in the vibrations of the others laughter, "Heh, yeah."
They lay there in silence a while longer, the numbers glowing on the digital clock counting up to midnight. England stroked America's head of golden hair, as he always did after their intimate sessions, so as to lull the younger man to sleep. This usually sent America off within a few minutes, seeing as he'd already be tired from the sex and work and because it was night, and that was when people usually went to sleep, right? So it surprised England when America pulled away from him and sat at the edge of the bed to pull his superman boxers on and place Texas on the bridge of his nose before getting up and heading outside into the hallway, the light from it now shining brighter on the abandoned England, highlighting the confusion on his face.
What is that boy up to? he wondered, scratching at the back of his neck and stretching. When America still did not return he started to worry about what he was doing. He feared that the fool was planning on getting coffee – caffeine – and goodness knows how hard it would be to lull him to sleep after that. He was just about to get out from under the duvet and go in search of him and stop him at all costs if he so much as dared to consume just a trickle of coffee when America re-appeared in the doorway, carrying his Pod of the i, or whatever it was.
"Ow, fuck!" England cursed as America turned the light on suddenly, and England's emerald eyes struggled to keep up with the adjusting. "I say, America," he harrumphed, rubbing at his pained orbs, "what is the meaning of this?"
"Sorry, England!" America apologised, wincing in understanding of the Briton's pain and hoping that he wouldn't punch him just for turning on the lights, "Just wait and see!"
And so, England did wait. He lips formed an upside crescent shape much like the moon in the overhanging dark canvas of a sky outside, and he folded his arms in annoyance, but he waited all the same in order to see what couldn't wait until morning. He surveyed as America connected the Pod of the i to his speaker things and touched the screen, going into all sorts of bright menus.
"Are you quite finished yet?" England groaned, finally flopping back down onto the bed and burying his face into the pillow, hoping that this would cause America to give up his pursuit and join him in bed again. But no.
"Almost, man. Just…" another touch of the screen, "…a bit…" yet another touch, "more…Aha!" he cried out as he leant back and allowed what appeared to be a song to load.
"You made me wait all this time for a song?"
"Not just any song!" America winked, "A song relevant to our current situation."
"Oh?" England asked, "And what situation would that be?"
And then the song started…
Sometimes
(Oh-wo-oh-oh)
Somethin' beautiful happens in this world.
(Akon)
You don't know how to express yourself,
(And Lonely Island, yeah)
So you just gotta sing!
England just stared at the device as the melody built up to the upcoming verse, "Um, America, what is this-?"
I just had sex,
And it felt so good!
(Felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her!
I just had sex,
And I'll never go back
(Never go back)
To the not-having-sex ways of the past!
England went from staring at the device to staring at America, who was lip-synching to the lyrics with overzealous enthusiasm.
Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great!
It felt so good when I did it with my penis!
A girl let me do it! It literally just happened!
Havin' sex can make a nice man out the meanest!
England grunted in disapproval as America pointed at the Briton whilst lip-synching that last line.
Never guess where I just came from, I had sex!
If I had to describe the feeling, it was the best!
When I had the sex, man, my penis felt great,
And I called my parents right after I was done!
"You know, this song isn't very appropria-"
Oh, hey, didn't see you there, guess what I did?
Had sex, undressed, saw her boobies and the rest!
Was sure nice of her to let you do that thing!
Nice of any girl ever! Now sing!
"You do realise I'm not a girl, I hope?"
I just had sex,
And it felt so good!
(Felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her!
I want to tell the world!
"I'd rather you didn't tell the world."
To be honest, I'm surprised she even wanted me to do it!
Doesn't really make sense, but, man, screw it!
I ain't one to argue with a good thing! She could be my wife!
That good? The best thirty seconds of my life!
"Wife? I'm not Finland, you know."
I'm so humbled by a girl's ability to tell me to her,
Because, honestly, I have sex with a pile of manure!
With that in mind, a soft, nice-smellin' girl's better;
Plus, she let me wear my chain and my turtle-neck sweater!
"Manure? What?"
So this one's dedicated to them girls
That let us flop around on top of them!
If you're near or far, whether short or tall,
We want to thank you all for letting us fuck you!
"Well, that's nice, but-"
She kept lookin' at her watch!
(Doesn't matter; had sex)
But I cried the whole time!
(Doesn't matter; had sex)
I think she might've been a racist!
(Doesn't matter; had sex)
She put a bag on my head!
(Still counts)
"This song isn't very relevant to us, I don't remember any of that stuff happ-"
I just had sex,
And my dreams came true!
(Dreams came true)
So if you've had sex in the last thirty minutes
Then you're qualified to sing with me!
"C'mon, England, your time to sing!"
"I'd rather not."
I just had sex!
(Everybody sing)
And it felt so good!
(We all had sex)
(Felt so good)
A woman let my put my penis inside of her!
(I want to tell the world)
I just had sex,
And I'll never go back
(No, no, no)
To the not-having-sex ways of the past!
(Wo-oh, wo-oh-wo-oh)
England glared at America as the music faded out, and America smiled sheepishly in return.
"Are you quite done?"
"I dunno. If you want I can press the replay button so that you can sing along to the part where everyone who had sex in the last thirty minutes was qualified to sing. I'm sure you've got the drift of the song now."
England didn't reply, but instead hid himself under the duvet as America pressed the replay button.
"We're going to keep doing this until you sing, man! Even if it takes over thirty minutes and we're not qualified anymore! One, two, three, I just had sex! Come on, England!"
England began to wish that he hadn't "just had sex" with this imbecile.
Author's note: This is just a little not-very-serious fic for fun! 8D Go ahead and tell me that you can't imagine America doing this! XD Just try!
Critique is welcomed, comments are appreciated!
Thank you and enjoy!
Disclaimer: America, England and Finland belong to Hidekaz Himaruya.
AnorexicWalrus~