It's been ages - more than a year - but here's another installment in the Warm Horizons series. Number 5! Standard disclaimer: they function independently as standalone stories, but it might be advisable to start with #1 if you're planning on making a day of it. On with the fic!

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'I'm still not sure what the point of this is,' Snow grumbled. 'I've got plenty of clothes.'

'If you mean plenty of vests and t-shirts with holes in, then yes, you've got plenty of those.'

'Like, one of my t-shirts has holes in. You're exaggerating.'

'I counted two.'

'Fine, two. But I don't wear those for going out anyway, so… what does it matter? Everyone needs lazy clothes for bein' lazy in.'

'That would be fine, if it weren't for the fact that your idea of "indoor lazy attire" is generally not wearing any clothes at all.' Hope looked up at his companion, a playful glint in his eye.

Snow grinned back. 'Well, you got me there, babe.'

It was a slightly bitter spring morning in Palumpolum, and it was one of those infrequent occasions where both Hope and Snow had the day off. It had been raining overnight, so heavily it had woken both of them up. It had left the morning feeling incredibly fresh, though, and perfect for a day out. Hope had been complaining for some time about getting some new clothes for Snow and for himself, so today, Snow had finally given in.

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What a slow morning, thought Rij. One customer when they opened and none since then. Though in a way, he supposed, he ought to be thankful. He didn't get much sleep the night before. A six-hour shift with not much to do in this situation is better than a six-hour shift with endless, fussy customers insisting these trousers are too long, those too short, this scarf too garish, that necktie too blasé.

He just wanted to go home.

When the door opened suddenly and let in the noise from the street, he visibly flinched. Trying not to give away how little he actually cared, he greeted the new customers with what he hoped was his usual level of enthusiasm and charm. 'Good morning, sirs! Is there anything I can help you with today?'

The little silver one looked up at the big blond one as though expecting he would do the talking for the both of them. Which he did. 'That's alright friend, I think we'll just have a little wander around first. Might need your help later though.'

Rij almost sighed with relief. 'Very good sir, just let me know if you'll need my help with anything.'

They thanked him – or rather, the blond one thanked him and the silver one smiled and nodded – and began wandering around. He took a surreptitious drink from his coffee once he was sure they weren't looking. Gods, it was good. He'd be alright. Coffee had helped him get through tougher mornings than this.

His two customers spent some time browsing the clothes on the racks. Rij frowned to himself – the silver one might be alright, but the blond one was pretty big. If he looking for a jacket or shirt they'd probably have to do a fitting. He listened to their conversation.

'But you could definitely use some more shirts,' the silver one was saying. 'I think you've only got one left and it's getting pretty tight on you.'

'You saying I've gained weight?' asked the blond, feigning an air of hurt pride.

'Maybe a little,' the silver one giggled. 'Definitely muscle though, not fat.'

'I see, I see,' replied the other. 'I guess I'm lucky I have a boyfriend who likes that, then.'

'Yes. You are.' The silver one smiled happily and squeezed the other's hand for a moment.

Ah, thought Rij. So they were lovers, then.

They seemed content browsing by themselves, and no other customers had walked in, so Rij settled himself behind the counter and tried to work some numbers he needed to have ready for when the boss turned up around midday. It was difficult to concentrate on, but the coffee was helping. After a little while, he became aware of a discussion his patrons were having at the side of the room. Or rather, maybe it was halfway between a discussion and a squabble.

'But you do need some more. It's not my fault you always wear them out so fast.'

'No, no, I get that. It's just I've gotten this brand before, and they were a bit uncomfortable.'

Rij decided to interject. 'Something I can help you with, sir?'

The blond looked over at him. 'Yes, please – I like the look of these boxer briefs –' he held up a packet of three '– but I've bought this brand before from somewhere else, and they weren't… big enough. Do you have any bigger?'

'Of course sir,' Rij replied, stepping out from behind the counter and approaching the shelves where he'd got them from. 'We have them in waist sizes up to 48 inches.' He gestured to the larger sizes nearer the bottom.

'No, you see – that's not the problem.' The blond looked a little embarrassed, and the silver-headed one had turned away in what appeared to be amusement. 'I'm a 38'' waist, which is fine, but… they were a little constrictive… elsewhere.'

Rij raised his eyebrows a little in realisation, and hurriedly lowered them again. 'I see, I see,' he said, trying to remain professional. 'In that case, I might recommend this brand instead…' He plucked a pack from a different shelf. 'Still 38'' waist, but much more forgiving in the…' Crap, crap! What word ends that sentence professionally? '…elsewhere.'

'Perfect!' the blond cried, and happily claimed the more forgiving underwear.

After an awkward pause, Rij composed himself once again. 'So, yes, if there's anything else I can help you with…'

'We'll let you know, thanks,' the silver-haired one smiled.

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Well, that was weird, thought Rij. No; weird wasn't the right word. Uncommon, certainly. Uncommon to encounter a customer looking for underwear who actually appeared to be in better shape than the models on the packaging. It certainly made a pleasant change, anyway.

He was also finding it difficult not to continue to think about these clients' private lives. Sure, he'd seen plenty of clients undressed before. It was simply a part of the job. And there had been clients who had come in with their partners to buy things like underwear. There was nothing odd about that. But in this case, it was proving much more difficult to avoid thinking about the fact that he now knew details about the penis size of one of the more attractive customers he'd ever had. That detail specifically being 'big'. And that was definitely… uncommon.

All this, and he was beginning to wonder that he knew them from somewhere.

Rij was so entrenched in this line of thought that he almost didn't notice that the larger of the two was approaching him at the counter. 'Hello again,' he was cheerfully saying.

'Ah, yes, hello,' he stammered in reply. 'Sorry again about all that…'

'Not a problem… Rij,' the man beamed, reading off his nametag. He really was all smiles. Perhaps he wasn't very bright? Nobody could be that optimistic, surely. 'I actually thought maybe you could help me with something…' he leaned in closer. '…more private.'

He winked after he said this. He seemed to have been waiting for his companion to be out of earshot to start this conversation. Rij's heart lurched slightly when his mind involuntarily flickered, just for a moment, onto ideas of what exactly this man was propositioning him with. 'Yes?' he asked tentatively.

'I understand that you guys pride yourselves on being able to provide… specialty wear? For any occasion? Fancy dress… that kinda thing.'

Rij almost audibly sighed relief and settled back into well-trained employee mode. 'Absolutely sir, it's always been the policy of Fitzgerald's to be capable of providing anything, however obscure.'

'Great, great…' the blond was darting looks over his shoulder to make sure his companion wasn't listening in. 'In that case, I was wondering if you could get me a fireman's outfit.'

'A fireman's outfit?'

'Not too loud…' the blond glanced over his shoulder again. 'It's our anniversary coming up you see,' he explained while jerking a thumb to indicate behind him. 'One year we'll have been together. I wanted to do something special, you understand, and cost isn't an issue…'

'I see. Well, that wouldn't be a prob –'

'The reason is,' he continued, grinning, 'Hope's always had quite a thing for firemen.'

'Mm. Well the outfit could easily be…'

'See, he was rescued from a fire when he was young, and has always had, I guess, a kind of admiration for them since then. Is that the word I'm looking for?'

'I'm not really…'

'Adoration, maybe? Attraction?'

'They're all fine nouns for…'

'Well anyway, he's never said it directly… he's not that kind of guy… but I caught him once looking at some pictures – when we were living together, but before we were a couple – you know the sort I mean –'

'I do,' Rij interjected, deciding to stand his ground, and trying again not to allow his face to redden. 'But yes, I don't think that would be too difficult of a request. I'd need to take some measurements, of course, if you'd like something custom fitted. Are there any particular specifications for how it should look?'

'Oh not really, just basically the same way a Palumpolum fire officer's uniform might look.' He thought to himself for a moment, smiling apparently at the image of what was to come. 'Oh, except sexier.'

'Sir?'

'It should be more, you know… revealing. Perhaps with the straps and everything for the torso but no shirt underneath… that sort of thing.'

'I understand, sir.'

'Terrific!' he clapped Rij on the shoulder. 'Knew I could count on you.' He walked away from the counter and towards his companion again.

Well, thought Rij – today was shaping up to be more interesting than he'd been banking on.

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A few extra customers entered the shop, and for most of the while Rij was serving them – only a few minutes; they were collecting and paying for some items they had ordered previously – Rij got the impression that the wispy, silver-haired teenager who accompanied the firefighter wannabe was waiting for him to be available. Sure enough, after his other customers gone and it was only the three of them left in the store again, he approached the counter with a timid chocobo-esque air.

'Excuse me,' he asked, not quite looking up.

'How can I help you?' Rij asked, trying to be as gentle as possible.

'I was… wondering if you could… help me with something.'

'Of course, sir. What is it?'

The youth didn't seem to want to answer. He opened his mouth once or twice and, after a couple of false starts, managed: 'There's a specialty item I was hoping to order. For a friend of mine.'

'Absolutely – it's always been the policy of Fitzgerald's to be capable of providing anything, however obscure.' Rij was beginning to tire of hearing himself say that.

'Oh good, oh good,' was the teen's response. He still didn't seem comfortable. 'It's for a friend of mine, as I said. She's, um, in a relationship, you see. With a man. And it's coming up to their first anniversary.'

Rij had to stop himself from giggling. Was this really happening? Were they both buying surprise naughty outfits for the other? No, stay calm, don't say anything. 'Of course, sir. And what is it that she was interested in?'

'It's, uh…' he appeared to be blushing, and had lowered his voice even quieter than before. 'A maid's outfit.' He turned another shade redder, and still wouldn't look him in the eye.

Rij looked the teen over out of habit before he could stop himself. Well, he definitely had the body for it. 'That shouldn't be a problem, sir. We get requests of this manner all the time.'

For the first time, the silver teen looked at him directly. 'Really?'

'Oh yes sir,' Rij assured him. 'From men and from women. It's all quite normal.'

'Oh,' was all he got in response, but the teen's embarrassment did seem to have been alleviated a little.

'Ah, so what size is this friend of yours?' Rij asked a little awkwardly.

'She's… about the same size as me.'

Obviously. 'Well, perhaps I could take some measurements from you, then, sir?'

'I think that would be perfect,' he responded. 'I'll, um, finish up looking for some new pants first though.'

'Of course,' Rij replied, and watched him scurry away. Definitely the shy type, he concluded.

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Each of Rij's customers took their time perusing the other items on display, and choosing out a few things for themselves and each other (but it seemed the smaller, silver haired one, interestingly, was the more bossy in this regard). They presented their clothes together.

'Would it be okay if we tried a couple of these on, first?' the blond one asked on behalf of both of them, holding certain items back.

'Of course sir,' Rij responded as he packed the first few into bags. 'We have a changing room you can use.' He was wondering how to broach the subject of taking measurements. He didn't want to blow their secrets.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. 'Well, now that this is handled, there's simply the matter of…' he started as he packed the final item into a bag, speaking to neither one of them in particular and hoping that one of them would help him out.

'Oh yeah, yeah of course,' the blond said, and the silver one looked up at him suspiciously. The blond met his gaze and didn't falter in his explanation, 'I wanted to have some formal wear to have for special occasions, since I don't have anything properly nice anymore, and Rij here needs to take some measurements.'

'Ah,' the silver one acknowledged. 'Me too, actually.'

Rij smiled to himself. They both looked clever enough (and seemed to know each other well enough) that ordinarily they might have detected that something was up, but each seemed protective enough of their own secret that they weren't interested in investigating the other's.

Taking the actual measurements was simple enough; Rij measured the smaller of the two men first, jotted down everything he needed, and then did the same for the larger of the two. Measuring his inseam was impossible to do without allowing his mind to wander back to where it shouldn't, but he powered on professionally nonetheless. Finally, his job was done.

'Well then sirs, that's just about everything I need from you. With these measurements I'll be able to send you your custom… formalwear… within two weeks. Or you could come and collect it here if that would be any easier…?'

They both nodded. Naturally. Give that they lived together, they wouldn't want any suspicious parcels turning up in the post and being opened by the other accidentally…

The silver one nudged the blond one, who then asked again about the changing room.

'Absolutely,' Rij affirmed. He guided them over to the fitting area and drew back the curtain. 'We only have one, I'm afraid. I'll leave it to the two of you to decide who goes first…'

The silver one entered and drew the curtain behind him without hesitation, leaving Rij to cast a curious look at the blond. He didn't seem much annoyed; in fact, he started to grin – and before Rij could stop him he also marched into changing area and again drew the curtain back.

'We do… we do generally ask that only one person use the changing area at a time…' Rij said meekly, but could feel his resolution fading. It was just as well; they didn't seem to be listening to him, and had gone back to playfully bickering.

Rij was used to dealing with customers who had made it their goal to see him miserable, and he was used to managing that. The trick, he had found, was to consider what was happening (or had happened) in their lives that made them act out so unattractively and treat him so poorly. Maybe it was all they'd picked up from their parents, who never had any time for them. Maybe exerting their own little form of tyranny was their way of making themselves feel like they were still relevant. Maybe they didn't have any friends, and weren't used to interacting with normal people in a normal way. The more he considered these possibilities, the more it just ended up making him feel sorry for them, and you can't be too angry at someone you feel sorry for.

But these two were different. They had no interest in making Rij's job difficult… they seemed only to exist to annoy each other. How a relationship could possibly survive under those conditions – and for a year at that – he had no clue.

Rij decided to leave them to it, and return to his coffee. It was cold, now. He sighed deeply, pressed his palms against his temple and closed his eyes.

Moments slipped by.

He didn't realise he was falling asleep until the sound of voices roused him again.

'No! No, I'm definitely going to have to go up to a bigger size.' It was the blond one talking.

'Are you sure? They look fine. The length on the leg is perfect, too.' That was the silver one.

'They feel a little tight. Like I'm not going to be able to be doing any high kicks in these without splitting them.'

'Were you planning on doing particularly many high kicks in them?'

'Well… ya never really know.'

'Keep them then. They look fine. In fact they quite suit you. And beige too, which is apparently your favourite colour.'

'Seriously, it's not gonna work. I can just tell. They're gonna be, you know, like that underwear earlier. A little too… constrictive.'

'Seriously? Trousers aren't roomy enough for you now?'

'Well, they're fine… right now! But I'm not… taking up much space right now.'

'I don't like where this is going.'

'What?'

'Never mind.'

'Oh, I get it! You mean I should get a hard-on and see if it fits.' Rij blushed slightly.

'Will you keep your voice down?!' the smaller one shout-whispered.

'Sorry… but it's not a bad idea though.'

'Yes it is! I was joking! It was a terrible idea!'

'Obviously I'd need something to get me going. I can't just trigger it by force of will alone.'

'For goodness' sake, just try something else on…'

'Come on, gimme a kiss. Just a little one. Actually that might not be enough; better make it a big one. Plenty of tongue, don't hold back.'

Rij wondered if he should interject, make it clear that he could hear everything they were saying. He didn't though. He was too tired, and this was too spicy.

'Stop being an idiot,' the smaller one protested. There were shuffling noises as though he was physically fending the other one off.

'Haha, I'm only kidding. Alright, these trousers will probably be fine. And… that's everything of mine. Are you nearly done yet?'

'Not quite. I can't decide between these two pairs of shorts. The weather's getting warm again and I need some new ones…'

'If you can't decide, why not just get both?'

'I really don't need both. Besides, they look identical. They're just different colours. Which do you prefer?'

There was a pause. 'It's hard to say. At first glance I'd say I like the blue ones better. But the grey ones might actually suit you more. It's hard to tell unless you're wearing them.'

'I'll put them back on then.' Another pause, more shuffling. 'Well?'

'Turn around?'

'Okay…'

There was a longer pause, before the blond one finally said, '…Gods.'

'What?'

'I like them.'

'You like them?'

'I really like them.'

The silver one giggled. 'Good. But do the grey ones go better with this t-shirt?' More shuffling.

'…Gods.'

'I know, it's a little tight.'

'…Yeah.'

'And obviously the shorts are a little tight too.'

'…Yup.'

'And they're shorter than the kind I might normally wear.'

'…Yeah.'

'But that's part of the look.'

'Mhmm.'

'So, which do you think?'

'Take 'em off.'

'The t-shirt or the shorts?'

'Both.'

'Okay. Did you want to see the blue ones again?'

'Nah.'

'But I need to know which ones to go with – AH!' Rij jerked his head up at the sudden loud noise. He listened for more signs, but couldn't hear much, except… did that sound like kissing?

This definitely probably wasn't alright. What should he do? He glanced at the clock. His manager was expected to turn up in 20 minutes, and he was always early. If he walked in there could be hell to pay. He wasn't supposed to let two people use the changing room at once, and certainly not allow… whatever might now be happening in there. He dithered for a moment before deciding to put his best professional face back on and confront the matter head-on.

He stood in front of the curtain to the changing room, and cleared his throat. No response.

He drew back the curtain.

'Is everything okay in…' he started, and gave up.

It was the silver haired one who looked at him repentantly, red in the face, apparently trying to express his apology but was unable to do so. Save for his underwear, he was naked except the aforementioned 'short' shorts which were dangling from one leg, each of which were vaguely wrapped around the waist of the blond patron who was holding him up in the air. This man in turn was also almost naked, save for his socks, the trousers that were around his ankles and a white pair of boxer-briefs that were currently proving to Rij, in case he had doubted the man before, exactly how constrictive they could be on his anatomy. He appeared unaware of Rij's presence, and seemed completely occupied with biting the neck of his captive.

Rij found himself utterly speechless, and stood rooted to the spot. He felt unable to muster the strength either to say something more or to turn and walk away. It was down to the silver haired one, flushed in the face, to batter his fist on the shoulder of his companion until he stopped what he was doing and looked where he was pointing.

The look on the face of the blond one when he saw Rij went from curiosity to confusion to amusement, but never once touched on shame. 'Ah!' he said. 'Come to join the party?'

The silver one smacked him again.

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In the end, they were both incredibly apologetic. The blond haired one accepted all of the blame, promising he didn't normally behave that way in public – commenting, however, that it never would have happened were it not for the fantastic way the clothes at Fitzgerald's complimented his boyfriend's body. So, really, it was the shop's fault. In a way.

They paid for their clothes, and Rij was rewarded with a generous tip. He said he wouldn't mention anything to his boss when he arrived later that day, and they left. Two… very satisfied customers, he supposed. He looked down at his notes. They read, 'Order sexy firefighter outfit x1' and 'Order sexy maid outfit x1' with accompanying measurements. He wasn't looking forward to passing those on to his boss.

The rest of the day passed largely without incident, but he couldn't stop thinking about those two men for the rest of his shift. His boss seemed to notice something was wrong, and was kind enough to send him home a little early. Business hadn't especially picked up anyway, so he wasn't really needed.

He walked home to his apartment alone, and upon arriving made himself some food and sat on his sofa thoughtfully. By the time his flatmate, Ren, arrived home and made food for himself, Rij had come to a decision.

'Do you have Hoto's CC?' he asked Ren.

'What?'

'His communicator code. Do you have it?'

'Yeah, I do. Don't you?'

'No. If you'll remember, he's tried to give me it. Twice. But the first time I threw it in the river and the second time…'

'You burned it, yes, I remember now. So, what do you want his CC for? You're going to send him a message? Call him?'

'I'm going to ask him out.'

Ren put down his plate of food in surprise, and surveyed Rij with amused curiosity. 'Really? Hoto? Don't you… you know… hate him?'

'Hate is a very strong word…'

'He teases you constantly. One more than one occasion you've referred to him as the single most annoying human being you've ever met.'

Rij took a moment to try and phrase what he'd been thinking as best he could. 'Maybe that's… that's why he gets under my skin so much, though. I've been considering it, and… I think there might be something there.'

Ren pondered for a moment, shrugged, and pulled out his own communicator. 'Okay, I'm sending you his code now. If you really think this is a good idea. Gods know he certainly seems to like you. Even if he has a weird way of showing it.' He set his communicator down and picked up his plate again. Rij's communicator beeped in his pocket, and he flipped it open to see Hoto's CC had been added to his list of contacts.

'I think you're crazy,' Ren said. 'The way the two of you go at each other like you do… how could a relationship possibly function between two people who annoy each other so much?'

Rij smiled to himself. 'I've seen it work.'

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THE END

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I hope you enjoyed it - I was away for a while and this one took a while to get finished for various reasons (not least of which the weird formatting errors that appeared when I tried uploading it for the first time - shout out to DuCree for pointing them out to me)! But yes, I'm back, and there will be more - the next one coming is going to be a 1st anniversary special of Hope's and Snow's relationship, and will be the most ambitious fic I've attempted yet... Stay tuned!