Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…
Author's Note: Crack. This is crack…complete and utter crack. Funny crack, but crack nonetheless…Yay, Madara! And yaoi. GO YAOI!
Unfinished Business
As cool as the night is, there are still ghostly figures afoot at the edge of the forest, cloaked in black attire. Moonlight rims the edges of the great mountain looming over the Leaf village, and the silence among those present at its base is of the sharpest quality.
"Madara-sama." Pein addresses his leader impassively, his sharp eyes steady and perfectly neutral in the presence of his co-superior. "All are assembled. It is time to begin the extraction of the tailed beast." Such a heartless tone he has; passionless, and devoid of life.
An eye of liquid crimson engulfs the motionless man in its calculating stare through the single hole in the mask, just…waiting. It is under the pressure of that gaze that the briefest hint of emotion crosses Pein's face, but he remains unmoved.
The hooded figure looks to the Hokage's stone faces, seemingly entranced by the sight. It is impossible to read him, buffered in his thick clothing as he is, but his gaze is not hard to follow.
The silence which consumes them is long and empty. Painfully so, leaving a bad taste in the mouth.
It is after some time, that Madara finally breaks the silence. "Do you ever feel you've left something incomplete?" A questioning look passes over Pein's face, before it returns to cold indifference. "Something you regret?"
With indifference, Pein answers with barely perceivable lips movements. "No." His mouth seemed not to have moved at all.
"Hn." Madara is not convinced, but he had not been looking for an honest answer from the regal man beside him to begin with. "Is that so?" Not taking his eye off the stone faces, he continues despite having not received an answer from his Co-superior. "I believe…" Turning to finally face the younger man, his luminescent eye glows a hazy red in the dark. "That I may harbor one regret."
Pein does not respond or question his motives for starting such an absurd conversation; he merely watches his leader with his unchanging gaze. Cautious.
Without pause or word of acknowledgement towards Pein, Madara suddenly scales the great stone face at full climbing speed, opting to do so bare handed. He only stops when he is perched precariously onto the tip of Hashirama's nose.
For the longest moment, Madara can only stare at the enormous piece of stone, carved in the likeness of the great 1st Hokage. He reaches out tentatively to the wall and rests his gloved fingertips lightly on the great stone face. His breath hitches at the contact.
The barely perceivable motion of Pein's eye twitching is more strenuous to his face than any expression before it. He is at a loss of explanation.
"Oh, Hashirama." Madara, in all his masked and hooded glory, begins to pet tenderly at the stone face's nose, moaning in his throat. "Hashirama-san, Hashirama-san…"
Pein feels a cold feeling wash over him, and begins to back up subconsciously from his leader. His eyes widen in incredulity as he watches Madara press the entirety of his body to the nose that is, in all respects of the word, bigger than him and rubs his masked face to the cold stone.
"Oh, Hashirama! Hashi, Hashi, Hashirama! Oh, oh, oh! Hashirama…" Madara appears to be melting on the side of the mountainside, molding his body to rest snuggly on the arch of the nose and moaning like a cat in heat.
A sound akin to a half mangled gasp slips past Pein's lips when Madara's body starts to vibrate against the stone, and Madara glances down at him sharply, staring at him with an unseeing gaze.
Pein's face must have made for an impressive display of self-restraint, wide-eyed and twitching as he was.
"Leave me." Madara groans just loud enough so that Pein could hear, rubbing himself fully against the stone wall, one leg propped up and arms embracing the rock. "I wish to be alone." He sounds possessed, like he's on some sort of high quality 'mind fuck' drug.
Not a word left Pein's lips as he spun on his heels and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Unfortunately, in his rush he forgot that someone was still down in the village below, waiting for him to give the signal.
Madara was a bit too preoccupied to notice.
"Holy Hell, Tobi! What are you doing to that face, un!"
Author's Note
Ha, ha, ha! Oh, I'm so evil. That's funny stuff I'd think. Please review…