This started as another one of my mushy stories about lost love and reunions, then I asked Teagan to read it and she, of course, made a story changing suggestion. Make it Au to ZA she said and my eyes bugged out and my breathing intensified...and here we are. This is my headcanon about why Daryl was such a nasty fucker in season one and two. Not that there's anything wrong with it because by now we all know I think its hot as fuckkkkk. This story has out of order flashbacks that I hope won't be too confusing, but I just didn't want to make it my typical thing so I switched it up a little. I had them remember things out of order :) Hope it makes sense :) Love you all and thank you for reading xoxoxoxox Krissy. I won't be able to post this every day cause it's not finished, I think Fridays and Wednesday will be the days.

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A wound will always leave a scar, Paulina was a wound care nurse and she knew that all too well. She had seen her fair share of scars and carried some too. The deeper the wound, the bigger the scar, but some you can't see at all. The scar she was left with after the first or hundredth unkind word and put down couldn't be seen by anyone. But she felt it every day, and one day she realized he just didn't love her at all, really realized it.

She was six months pregnant with their second child by then and had a two-year-old daughter named Katie, after her mother. But she knew it, sure as she knew the next fight was coming, and then she allowed herself to cry over it. This is not what a marriage is supposed to be, it was a cruel joke. She had married a man who didn't love her and had let go of the one that did.

That reality stung, she'd had love once, sweet, glorious, true love and she let it slip through her hands, but she didn't let that knowledge ruin her, instead, she started making plans. From that day, when he yelled and screamed at her when she was pregnant in front of their daughter she decided that one day they were getting away.

Kevin never laid a hand on her or the children and Paulina was grateful for that, but in reality, he didn't need to. He possessed the kind of mean streak that was unmatched by anyone she could ever know. She was pregnant and he yelled at her over the electric bill, as if she had any control over it at all. Kevin could cut her down with his words and make her feel like she was nothing but dirt under his feet with just a few well thought out sentences. He was the master of his craft and she was not willing to grow old with him or let him do the same to her girls.

She had to set an example for them or they would think this was normal, one day he might do it to them and she couldn't allow that either. As she walked through the house that held so much promise once upon a time she thought long and hard; with its big windows and hardwood floors, her dream home had become a prison. In the spare bedroom where she kept the extra blankets, she knelt down in front of the old cedar chest. It was time to take out the thicker comforters the days were getting cooler now, and she lifted the lid, reaching way down at the bottom where her old diary lay; with shaking hands, she opened the book. This was where her past was, dead and buried, but she still liked to think about it sometimes and have a good cry for what could have been.

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The last place he was stationed before retirement was Hawaii, and it had been sweet, nothing but sun and sand and surfing, but he was ready to go home again after so many years away. Merle was meeting him in Monterrey and together they were going back to their hometown the bury their old man and bury the past. Daryl had not set foot in Georgia in fifteen years or so, now he was coming home an officer. He wondered if she was still there or if she had moved away. Maybe she was married with children now; he had always planned to contact her again but then more and more time passed and he just felt stupid for even thinking of it. He still allowed himself a little piece of Paulina though at night when he was alone, and he never told a soul, not even Merle.

Both of them had lived a nomad's life all over the world and life had been good. Merle often was stationed in the same countries as him and they met up quite often to raise hell wherever they were. But something was missing, and now he wasn't too busy to think about it. Now the book he dragged around from country to country but never opened might get opened again. Maybe he would look at what was inside again, maybe it was time.

When he blew out of town at the age of nineteen, it was to get away from his abusive father and Merle had joined right up with him too. At first, it was just to escape, but it became a life, a career, and a blessing. Before either of them knew it they were ready to retire and start new lives, wherever they wanted to.
It was time to go home.

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Paulina had been hiding money and bringing things to a secret storage unit for two years, preparing for someday. Someday when she could get away from him and save herself and her girls. Someday when she could be brave, someday when she had enough money saved, finished school and got her promotion. Someday when she might be happy and not planning her own death on the very bad nights.

She would never do it of course, because she would never leave her children, the very reason she stayed with him for ten more years was so that they wouldn't have to go to visitation with him on weekends as vulnerable babies. Once they were older, she figured, if he was mean to them they would tell her and she could petition the court to put a stop to the visits.

Still, that was a long way away with two little babies and sometimes she thought that it would be the only way to ever have peace, simple really, just drive into a brick wall and end her misery. Paulina thought about it, but she would never abandon her girls to be left with him. Kevin never gave her a moment's peace and he was never satisfied; he compared her to his ex-girlfriend constantly and never hesitated to tell her how she wasn't good enough for him, didn't measure up to his standards and wasn't the one he really loved.

Pretty soon she learned to ignore it and she focused on raising her babies, becoming a girl scout leader and class mother as well as finishing school. Life became busy, so busy that her interaction with him became less and less, and her nights sleeping on the couch became more and more.

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It was brisk and cool outside when she stopped at that 711 for coffee that Tuesday morning in October; this was her usual routine as she started her home visits for the day. She didn't know it as she walked in the store, but someday, the someday she dreamed of long ago became today, or very soon. Paulina had never seen it coming, she had never seen him coming, just like when they were kids.

She recognized him before he even turned around although they hadn't seen each other in almost fifteen years. The angles of his body and his stance hadn't changed at all, his hair was shorter, a little darker but she would know him anywhere. The span of his shoulders and his lean hips as she gazed at him without his knowledge brought back so many memories.

There he was, her deer hunter.

She remembered the first time she ever set eyes on him, he was in back of the school with his friends smoking and she was the new girl at school. It was so long ago...
He was the one that got away, or rather the one she sent away.

Paulina knew that Daryl had made a black coffee with a shot of espresso and way too much sugar before he was even walking towards her. He broke into a grin when he did see her and it was like looking at a younger version of him that made her heart skip.

Then he was walking towards her and his face was lit with the most wonderful expression on it as if he was so very happy to see her. That surprised her.

Of all people maybe he wouldn't have been happy to see her at all, but he was, all that water under the bridge must have floated away. The last time she had seen him they were screaming at each other and now, his smile made her smile right back.

When had anyone except her children and the patients she visited along her route been happy to see her. A man? Happy to see her, well he would have been the last to look at her that way she thought.

Daryl was grinning at the sight of her so much it went right up to his eyes as he pulled her into a hug unlike any she had recently, really since the last time she had seen him. He held her so tight there in the store that his backward baseball cap almost fell off his head, he lifted her up slightly and she breathed his scent in.
He couldn't help but dig his fingers into her gorgeous dark hair just a little to see if it was still as soft as he remembered.

He'd hugged her that last time too after the fight years ago, and he told her he was still leaving, and oh how she cried and cried.

Daryl had asked her to marry him, in that other life they had together so long ago. Paulina had said no and he left town with his brother to join the army, she thought about him sometimes over the years. She had regretted not marrying him, it was bitter in her mouth now how foolish she had been, like stale chocolate when you were expecting creamy goodness, but now, instantly he was in front of her.

Paulina thought Daryl would never speak to her again, he had been so angry that day when she told him she felt like they were too young. They had a horrible fight and he left to join the army rather than stay and wait like she asked him to, just until they were older. She did understand, his father was a mean son of a bitch, and both Daryl and Merle had taken the brunt of his anger most of their lives. Paulina had waited for him though and then a few years later, when Daryl didn't come back she married Kevin.

Still, any fight she ever had with Daryl always ended with them hugging each other and making up almost immediately, and she had waited for him to come for her.

"I was hoping to see you, Lina." He said as he reluctantly let go of her, he had held her so tight and it had felt so good to both of them, like coming home to the one you love. Daryl stared into her eyes and then in the middle of the 711 in front of anyone who might see he kissed the side of her mouth like he had just seen her the day before. It was like nothing had changed between them at all.

"Are you passing through Daryl or…"

"Early retirement, Merle and me." He said as she prepared her coffee, light and sweet. "Living at the old man's place and it needs a lot of work, but we both retire soon, so won't have nothing but time after that."

Daryl replied as he looked at her uniform scrubs and then he noticed her name tag, she wasn't Paulina Tarker any more, she had another name now. Daryl glanced down at her left hand with just his eyes trying not to be too obvious, and there sat a thin gold band; she was married, and his heart sunk just a little bit.

"Oh, ya married now?" He uttered before he could stop himself as he looked at her hand, and hoping the sadness didn't come through in his voice too much.

As he paid for both their coffees he tried to think of something, anything to talk to her about. She was not free to be with him and he knew that would be trouble if he pursued anything, sooner or later. But it was just one conversation and surely that was no harm. Just a conversation between two old friends for old times sake.

"You're a nurse now?" He asked, wanting to change the subject and trying to hide his utter disappointment that he wouldn't be sweeping her off her feet like he imagined, "Like you wanted to be?"

She nodded. "I'm on the clock now between patients, I do home visits, can I have your cell number?" Paulina said shocking herself by her own forwardness. She was not making the same mistake twice, if he was back in town, she wanted to see him. "I'd love to get together and catch up."

"Paulina, maybe that isn't such a good idea," He said with a deep sigh as he shoved his change in his pocket, held the door for her and they walked outside. "Don't you think your husband…"

She walked towards her car and he followed her, not wanting the moment to end but knowing it would have to. She was married and therefore off limits to him, for many reasons. Personally, it just wasn't something he did no matter who it was, even if it was her; and professionally, well it was conduct unbecoming an officer, retired or not. That wasn't him.

"Daryl, I can't even begin to tell you how much he won't care." She said, leaning against the car.

And that was how it started, they did exchange phone numbers and both of them knew this was the beginning of something. Someday had finally come for Paulina.

Notes: Thank you for reading.