Darkness, Palpable
Summary: Wake up in the middle of the night to find a shadow over your bed. OneShot, Drabble.
Warning: -
Set: Story-unrelated, future-fic.
Disclaimer: Standards apply.
Wake up in the middle of the night to find the shadow of a God loom over your bed.
Which God? A God? Any God. Not that it matters. One God rules this earth, one God creates life. One God punishes and saves. One God sent seven ghosts to the earth to seal Verloren. Seven Ghosts wander the earth. And each one of them is a part of Verloren, and thus, a part of God.
How long has it been standing there?
Seconds, minutes, hours? Nights. Night after night after night. The shadow is cold and dark and threatening and familiar, oh-so painfully familiar. What do you wish for, Frau? People fear what people do not know but the greatest fear grows in knowing. Knowing what is inside you is frightening. Knowing what Frau is really like is frightening, too, on some days. Knowing that Zehel is the only one who can stop you should it ever happen is frightening. And, in a strange way, comforting, because Frau won't ever let you vanish. When Verloren claims back his soul and yours is torn to pieces Frau won't hesitate to kill you. He promised. And Frau never, ever breaks his promises.
He promised to save you, too.
But there are different ways of saving. Kurena saved you from madness. Mikage saved you from loneliness and misunderstanding, Hakuren saved you from giving in, Capella saved you from losing yourself and Ouka saved you from falling apart. And Frau saves you from falling into darkness again and again and again and if there was a way to repay him you would do it but there isn't. Mikage taught you that some things cannot be repaid – and, also, shouldn't be. It is what defines human beings: the bonds that bind them to others.
And isn't it strange that Zehel, who severs bonds, is able to bind you to life so strongly.
No. Not Zehel. Frau.
Darkness covers the room and the bed you're lying in and the dark figure is barely visible against the drawn curtains. Part of your military training – and slave conditioning – is the fact that you are conscious as soon as you wake. Alert, you lie there, unmoving, and the palpable darkness in front of your eyes is profound as if someone had sucked every bit of light from the world. And you cannot see him – but you know he is there, as sure as you know what it means. You know because you remember.
Remember:
You are lost. Verloren. Lost. Strange that God would call his greatest creation by that name. Strange that you, a child without a soul, would still feel all of this. All of this and all too much – all the pain and the loss and the love and the darkness. Strange that you are not afraid now that the time has come. Strange that, suddenly, you are ready to give up when you clung to life so desperately for the last years. Images flash by: Ouka, Capella, Mikage, Hakuren. And there is peace. You did your best. You refuse to value the happiness of the whole world below your own happiness. It's inacceptable. You'd rather die than do that.
"Zehel. Frau."
It will not hurt. Zehel's sickle severs ties without harming the bearer. And how could it hurt you when you don't even have a soul anymore? But Frau's face is pained, torn with grief and pain that shouldn't be there, really. Hasn't he known all along? You met for the sake of this: A life for a life, a world for a world. God will disappear from this world.
Suddenly, it is back.
The sudden pressure in the back of your head. You feel your eyes roll into the back of your head, feel the convulsions that rock your body. You hear sounds, screeching and gasping, and you know it's your own voice but it does not sound like it. Clawing your own fingernails into your arms, you fight for control. Give up. Because how much value has a body without a soul to fight for? Oh, Verloren. You who have lost everything – who would know better than you what man can lose? And who would know better how it is to die than the God of Death?
This time, you are both ending this.
A/N: If this didn't make sense to you, please don't be angry - it didn't to me, either. It wasn't supposed to make sense.