"Do you think you could be a bit more patronizing Q? Perhaps bring your explanation down to toddler level, rather than dumb teenager?"
Q glanced sharply at the blond man standing across from him and frowned. The startup sequence for the new device on his desk was complex, but Q knew his audience and he didn't think he'd dumbed-down any more than necessary. He pushed his glasses nervously up his nose, mouth temporarily stalled in the midst of his monologue. Alec scowled at him, fingers drumming on Q's desk impatiently.
"Oh… my apologies…"
"As you seem to have decided I'm incapable of intelligent thought today, just tell me where to stick it, and which buttons to press."
Q bit his lip to stop a barbed response escaping. He would dearly love to tell his partner where to 'stick it' and it had nothing to do with sockets, but that wouldn't be helpful. He caught the eye of their third who was leaning against the small workbench in the corner. James simply shrugged. Alec had been in a pissy mood since the previous evening, and a night on the sofa with a bottle of vodka didn't seem to have sweetened him any.
They had heard him arrive home in the early hours, and when he didn't join them in bed Q had sent a grumbling James out to the living room to see what was keeping him. After a short rumbled conversation James returned alone and snuggled alongside his lover.
"Well?" Q had asked.
"He's sulking."
"Shall I go out?"
"I'd leave him to it. He's a quarter into a bottle already. Stay here and I'll…"
Distract him. Very thoroughly and effectively, in fact. And having been very thoroughly distracted he fell asleep in James' arms. Alec was already gone by the time they woke.
"I have paperwork to do," James said, dropping a light kiss on the back of Q's neck as he passed. "I'll leave you to it."
Q watched him go with increasing tension. If James was volunteering to do paperwork that meant that he wanted to be far away from whatever was brewing in Q's office. Alec was still glaring at him and hadn't even acknowledged James' exit. Q waited until the door closed behind their lover and exhaled slowly.
"So… If we're going to fight, do you mind telling me what we're fighting about?" Q began.
"Who says we're fighting?"
Q blinked and fiddled absently with the device on the desk, tapping buttons in a series and then glancing down in alarm when it beeped. He hastily tapped in another sequence and pushed it across the desk to a safe distance away from his nervous fingers.
"Ok, we're not fighting, but you are exceptionally annoyed with me because…?"
Alec pushed off the desk, stalked to the far side of the office and leaned against the door. He rounded on Q, eyes blazing.
"This isn't working; the three of us together. I don't want to do it anymore."
Q froze, swallowed hard. He felt like he'd been punched in the stomach and all the air had been forced out of him.
"What?" he managed, barely above a whisper.
"You and me, you and James. It's not working for me."
Q wasn't slow. There was no mention in the 'not doing it' comment of Alec and James, the established relationship before Q came along.
"The common denominator being me. You want me out of your relationship, so it's just the two of you again," he said quietly. He sank into his desk chair letting the chill of fear prickle over his skin.
"Yes."
In the back of his mind he'd always feared it would happen one day, but this had come out of the blue. If James knew that this was on Alec's mind he hadn't mentioned it. He couldn't know. There was no way he would have left Q to face this alone. No way would he have walked out of the office with a casual shrug and a slight smile.
"Why Alec?" He was proud his voice remained steady even though his stomach was churning.
"Because I'm sick of being the third wheel in a relationship that was mine to start with. It's always him Q. Every time, you put him first, defer to him, let him lead. He just has to look at you and you fall into bed and I'm left on the bloody sofa."
"We have never excluded you. If you choose not to join us then that's your decision Alec. Is this jealousy?"
"You have to admit it's a bit unequal."
"Unequal?" Q stared at him incredulously, irritation beginning to surface. "There's a rule in this somewhere that says I have to grant you equal time?"
"Not a rule, no, but I brought you into our bed and it seems like I'm getting the rough end of the deal."
"Deal?" Q's voice had taken on an edge that lesser mortals had learned to fear, but in his anger Alec missed it entirely. Q snatched a pen from the pot on his desk and began to click it repeatedly.
"You allow him to maul you whenever the hell he likes. Even in the middle of your workplace you let him swan in and drape himself all over you, so everyone knows you're his."
"I put a stop to that," Q said tightly. "It took a lot of yelling, but he finally understands I consider it to be unprofessional behaviour. If he kisses me occasionally when we're in my private office, then that's not something I've ever withheld from you. In fact I distinctly recall a number of make out sessions that went far beyond a peck on the cheek in this very room."
Alec had the grace to blush, but he wasn't prepared to back down. "When was the last time it was just you and me?"
"Oh, I don't know Alec; let me check the 'Fucking Schedule' I keep on the fridge. Damn, looks like I messed it up… I should only be fucking James on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; the rest of the week is all yours apart from Threesome Thursdays. Apparently I only get time off if I send one or both of you out of the fucking country."
Q only realised he was yelling when there was a tentative knock on the office door. "Go away!" He screamed, breathing heavily and scrubbing a hand over his eyes. Alec could be a dick but this was really pushing the limits of his stupidity.
"I thought you would be more civilised about this," Alec said coldly. He had taken a step away from the desk when Q had started with his tirade and now stood with his feet firmly planted and hands curled into fists by his sides.
"Civilised? Did you really? Sorry to disappoint. I find myself unexpectedly upset that the man I love is being an arse and is terminating our relationship without even discussing it properly with me first."
"I thought you would… The man you what?"
"What?"
"You said love."
Q replayed it in his head, seeking to recall his exact words. "I did," he finally agreed reluctantly. "Although I'm edging towards tolerate today as a result of your unreasonable behaviour. Is James aware that I'm being kicked out?"
"I might have mentioned it last night."
"Oh!" Q sat down again heavily, jerking as his chair slid away from the desk half a foot. So Alec had dropped his bombshell and James had calmly returned to bed and… Right, so that's how it was. All the fight left Q in a rush of breath.
"Well… I don't know what to say." He carefully set the pen in his desk, pushing it with a fingertip until it was perfectly parallel to the edge. He looked up sadly. "Piss off and have a nice life, seems appropriate. Close the door on your way out."
Alec looked crestfallen. "Is that it? Almost a year together and you end it with 'piss off'? You said love Q. You can't say that then just end our relationship."
Q leaned forward in his chair, eyes glued to the pen, deliberately avoiding Alec's piercing green eyes. "I believe it was you who suggested terminating it on the grounds of inequality. I agree. I've never told James that I love him, not even in an arsed-up back-handed way. I should probably remedy that." He reached absently for the phone only to find Alec's large hand closing over his fingers.
"Stop!" Alec rounded the desk and tugged Q to his feet, several different emotions creasing his brow.
"What now?" Q sighed. "Can't you just leave now you've broken my heart?"
"I…" Alec's mouth snapped shut, fell open again. "I didn't know. That you… Love me? Why?"
"Oh believe me, I ask myself the same question frequently, but there it is. James too. I wasn't aware it needed saying, but if it stops you behaving like a complete arse then I will. I. Love. You. Got it?"
Alec nodded, losing his words completely. Both men looked at the door when it opened to admit a grinning James. "No shouting. Must be a good sign."
"You knew Alec was going to break up with me," Q accused.
"He said he loves me," Alec said triumphantly.
James chuckled. "And yet you're both still very much together Q, and of course he loves us Alec, you idiot. He puts up with our shit."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Alec and Q asked together.
"Oh it's far more fun to let you work it out for yourselves." James smirked dodging the pen that Q threw at him.