Title: In The Sunset Rain
Author: chromatic.daydream
Chapter: One of one

Authors' Note: For anyone whose been wondering about when the next chapter of Letters To You will be out, here's a little something to tide you over. I am working on it, but it's taken a lot longer than I expected. Thank you to everyone who's waiting. I love you all.

Let me know what you think of this little one chapter affair, possibly two if you all like it enough. Drop me a line at the bottom if you would? Cheers.

…
Nymphadora Tonks: Daughter of a witch and a muggle. Klutz extraordinaire. Auror. Member of the Order of the Phoenix. Lover of the cinema and Honeydukes chocolate. Belonging (sort of) to the Noble (not) House of Black.

And broken witness to the ways of war.

The rain was pouring down, but the sunset was lovely, and beautiful, and had a certain pink tinge to it, which is why Nymphadora Tonks sat outside on the cool grass of Hogwarts grounds. Certainly, her bottom, and her hair, and all of her was soaked through to her very core, but it was just too beautiful of a moment to pass up.

In the past weeks, Nymphadora had come to notice that she reveled in the simple things in life. The taste of a bar of Honeydukes chocolate, a dinner spent with her parents in amicable silence, the smell of rain, the glowing embers in a fire, the sunset, and the feeling of safety and warmth. Which always seemed to come when she was least prepared for it.

The simple things in life were the ones she was going to miss most when she was gone, whenever that might come. And moments like the one she was living right now made her forget that the end of her life may come sooner than later. Because there was something oddly peaceful about freezing in the pouring rain, with the most beautiful golds, and yellows, and oranges shining down on your face. There was something that made her let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding all week, and just give in.

Give in to her need to shed tears over the loss of her past, her future, and her innocence. And maybe that was what hurt the most, not that Sirius was gone, but that she was left behind to sort everything out. That everything he had stood for was no longer there, and Nymphadora found herself floundering in the unrealized knowledge that this wasn't a game she was playing. That people died; people she cared about died, and would continue to die.

Suddenly she felt like a grown-up; the tears streaking down her face invisible with the rain that continued to pour without relent. The pink of her hair was no longer pink, nor short and spiky as it transformed silently to a black that reminded him of death's eyes and the curls that fell down her back were reminiscent of Lily's on her wedding day before they were beaten down by the rain.

And almost instantly he noticed that she wasn't little anymore. The way she sat, legs crossed with elbows resting on her kneecaps to raise her hands up to rest one on her pale cheek, the other sitting limply in her lap, reminded him so sharply of a grown woman that he almost wouldn't have thought it to be her. Yet the more he stood and was soaked, he also couldn't help but notice the striking similarity her eyes held to a friend of his.

When she turned her head to the side just enough, his chest throbbed with the intensity that her gray eyes gave off. They lacked though the sparkle that he remembered in Sirius', and he remembered seeing in hers regardless of the color. Today they spoke of heartache, and of pain, and something the sandy-haired man couldn't quite figure out. She stared blankly away, in the direction of the lake for so long that he couldn't help but look towards there as well.

But there was nothing. Nothing that his own blue eyes could see. But he was almost certain there was something she saw, from the way her head ducked down and arms fell to lie in her lap. Something from the way her eyes darkened, and he instantly knew what that hidden emotion was.

There was no turning back, as much as his logic may have told him otherwise, as he walked across the grounds. These hollowed grounds that held so many memories for him; for the Marauders, felt cold and unforgiving to the man. Vaguely trying to push his sopping hair away from his eyes, the effort seemed too much and he gave up silently, continuing towards her.

She didn't know him, well at least, and he didn't know her. But as he paused a few feet away from her spot on the ground, he knew that wouldn't matter anymore. The sound of the rain had drown out any sound of him coming, and her Auror reflexes seemed to have lost her entirely as he cleared his throat into the dampness.

"Nymphadora?"
"Remus?"

For a second their eyes met, and Remus was sent back two decades to the first time he had ever encountered Sirius Black; with his wild black hair and soul conceding gray eyes. And Nymphadora was no different. He saw her soul, and understood her fear, and as he broke the connection, Remus felt her heart beat in time with his.

"May I sit?"
"You'll be wet."
"As are you."

Her concession was a nod, and lowering himself onto the soggy ground beside her, Remus found himself entirely too much searching again to meet her eyes. What prompted him to turn his head to the side and stare at her profile was mystifying, but she finally obliged, and as their eyes met, Nymphadora found herself studying Remus like he were the last person she would ever see.

His eyes were blue, hinted with something of a brown that made her think instantly of chocolate, and of warmth and of safety. For a moment she couldn't help but pause and wonder if Remus were the safety and warmth she had been desperately needing, who too would leave her life when she wasn't ready to let go. But he spoke of something else as her eyes trailed over the scars that had come to rest on his skin, and the way his lips twitched in the cold downpour. She couldn't quite rest a name onto what else that was though. Maybe, she mused inwardly, he was exactly what Sirius had always told her he was. Remus Lupin was the bond that would keep them together through the dark times. He was the one that would pick them up when they fell, and when they lost hope he would be the first to tell them they still had so much to fight for.

And it made her feel small and weak that after all he had seen in his lifetime and all that he had lost; Remus was stronger than any of them. He was so much stronger than she was, little Nymphadora Tonks sitting out in the rain crying because she was scared, and she was lost, and she didn't know any of the things she thought she knew.

Least of all who she was.

"It will hurt less with time."
"I know."

The grace that he carried himself with put her to shame, the black haired woman turning away to stare at the ground, hands coming up to rub her frozen limbs without much mind. He had seen so much more than her, yet she was the one who couldn't imagine it hurting any less tomorrow, or next week, or even next month.

Remus' eyes searched hers out once more, blinking deftly in the never-ending rain that seemed to come from heaven itself.

"Nymphadora?" He paused, "Are you crying?"

Her head shook, but she couldn't lie. She couldn't stop him from noticing, from tilting his head forward to look at her face, the skin white and eyes bloodshot. He didn't seem to be in as bad shape, but then again, his presence outside in the rain had only lasted an hour so far. Her body was starting to lose its feeling, her toes and fingers and ears long past numb, and if she was quiet enough, Nymphadora could hear the house of her heartbeat begin to slow down.

That was maybe what scared her the most. That dying didn't scare her anymore.

She wondered if it scared Sirius, as he fell back through the veil. If he even knew whether he was going to die or not. After all, who really knew where the veil lead? Her gut thought, it said he was dead, from the way it retched the moment she woke up in St. Mungos after it happened. She knew he was dead from the way Remus' eyes didn't sparkle anymore. Nymphadora knew that she would never see Sirius again from the way her heart ached.

And all of a sudden she broke down into sobs, burying her face into her frozen hands, understanding the finality of all of this. She hadn't missed him because she hadn't allowed herself to understand that he wasn't coming back. She had chosen to believe in the childish notion that he was coming back, like he had from Azkaban. But she wasn't so lucky this time.

So she missed him. Squeezing her eyes shut tightly Nymphadora missed him with every inch of her frozen body, gasping for breath. She missed him like she missed no one else, because Sirius was no one else. Sirius was her favorite relative, her cousin, her big brother, and her protector. His name was the first she ever said, and she remembered with a burning cough the nights they would sit up late together and talk about everything going on in the world. Sirius was the first person in her life to treat her like an adult, to treat her as capable of so much more than anyone thought she was. He was the reason she was an Auror. He was the reason she had hope every night when she went to bed. He was the reason she fought for the good in the world.

Now it felt like there wasn't any good left.

"Dora? Dora-"
"Don't call me that!" She suddenly screamed, gasping for breath, "Don't call me that…Oh, god, Remus…"

And just like that they sat out on the field for what felt like forever, Nymphadora curled up in Remus's arms, holding onto him with all the strength she had left in the world. And his arms around her made her feel, even in her frozen state, warm. Like she was safe, and she was going to be okay, and that Remus was right and it would hurt less with time. Like maybe she wasn't going to be lost forever, with a soft voice and two arms to keep her grounded on this planet.

"Do-… Nymphadora?"
"Remus?"
"Your lips are blue."
"…Sirius liked the color blue." She whispered.
"But never on you. He preferred pink."
"Mmmmmm…. true."

His legs were asleep, and his body was beginning to shake with the signs of hypothermia, but for some reason Remus couldn't bring himself to move. Maybe because it would mean moving the woman in his arms, who was so beyond the point of shaking that he was worried. Her lips were not the only things beginning to turn blue, him taking her tiny hands into his own and rubbing them.

"What are you doing?"
"Holding your hands."
"Not on a first date, thank you!"

And for a second, Remus almost thought he was back with Padfoot, looking down at Nymphadora, her gray eyes peering up at him. He must have looked sullen and annoyed because she the flicker of joy faded from her features almost instantly.

"I'm sorry. It's not the time for jokes."
"No," Remus paused, "He would have wanted us to be happy, you know? Besides, you reminded me of him just then."
"I did?"
"You remind me of him."
"I do?"
"Certainly. You and Sirius were two peas in a pod, you were."
"No. Sirius and you were two peas in a pod. I always just wanted to be like him."

Her admission of this left him silent, left him stroking her hair softly, looking out in the distance. The same distance where she had looked earlier. And while it was dark outside, and he wouldn't have been able to see Nymphadora without the light escaping the castle, Remus almost swore he could see a huge black dog bounding after a butterfly. Almost.

"It's stopped raining."

He spoke after so long that she almost thought he had fallen asleep, turning to look at him. Remus looked old with the gray in his hair, but his features and his eyes screamed of someone her age, someone who hadn't seen the kinds of things he had.

"So it has."
"Do you want to go inside?"
"No." She shook her head, "Do you?"
"Not really. But I'll go in if you do."
"And if I say no?"
"Then we'll both sit here until we succumb to hypothermia."

She had to close her eyes and take a deep breath, gathering the little strength she had to pull away from Remus and attempt to move to a standing position. But he was right, and hypothermia had set in, and Nymphadora could only look at Remus with a determined line set about her lips and a glitter in her eyes that told him that she was going to be all right. Maybe not tomorrow, or next week.

But Nymphadora was as much of a fighter as her cousin was.